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THE PARADOX of our time in HISTORY is that ...
Lesson 1:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. '
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply
of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 3:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?' replied the bull.
'They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 2:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: ' Sure , why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
So, I took her to a PETROL STATION !
A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation?
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in approximately the 1940's, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.
The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all...."
She thought to herself, "I know all about milk and dairy farms . . . I can do this!"
She sent in her entry, and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house... a man got out and said, "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we will not be able to use it..."Here is her entry:
Just Think About it!
HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!!
We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers, Wider freeways, but narrow view points
We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time
More experts, less solutions. More medicine, but less wellness.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom and hate too.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years .
We have more degrees, but less sense. More knowledge, but less judgment.
Dairy Poet Winner
When I got home last night, my wife demanded
that I take her out to some place expensive..
