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An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking & the boy was riding.

The man & boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."

They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.

The boy & man said they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal & he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well...
Kiss your ass goodbye!

Once upon a time in a land far away,
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a beautiful, independent,
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self-assured princess
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happened upon a frog as she sat
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contemplating ecological issues
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on the shores of an unpolluted pond
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in a verdant meadow near her castle.
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The frog hopped into the princess' lap
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and said: " Elegant Lady,
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I was once a handsome prince,~~~~~~~~
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
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One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am
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and then, my sweet, we can marry
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and set up housekeeping in your castle
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with my mother,
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where you can prepare my meals,
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clean my clothes, bear my children,
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and forever feel
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grateful and happy doing so.
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That night,
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as the princess dined sumptuously
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on lightly sauted frog legs
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seasoned in a white wine
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and onion cream sauce,
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she chuckled and thought to herself:
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I don't freakin think so !!!