Master Roshi

RAPE!!!
I doubt this guy's cock even works anymore.

Master Roshi, along with Oolong, Bulma, Krillin, and Goku, collectively known as "The Idiot Squad" showed up very early in the original Dragon Ball. His whole thing was that he was a pervert. Now I know that sounds cool, but he's not perverted in the cool way. Like the way when you're twelve and there's a 17-year old consoler at your daycare with breasts large enough to require zoning permit.

Rather, Master Roshi's horniness is the creepy kind. Like when you find out your parents are still having sex, but creepier. Creepier than seeing their fat torsos melding. Creepier than having your grandfather hand you a box of condoms. It's on a creepiness scale like you having to give them back and seeing him jump in wearing nothing but a pair of pink chaps. That's how fucking creepy Master Roshi is.

Like, in order to train Goku and Krillin, Master Roshi wanted to see Bulma's breasts. One thing you'll notice about Dragon Ball is that everyone, including most homosexuals, wants to see Bulma's breasts. Apparently her nipple-bumps spell out the formula for turning grape nuts into gold.

But anyway, Roshi wanted to see them. Dude what are you thinking? The hell with the slut. You've got a bald noseless Bhuddist midget and a little boy with a tail. Do you know how much money you could make off that shit on the net? Man, you'd make Bill Gates look like just about anyone on a indian reservation.

But, unfortunately, after Dragon Ball, Master Roshi was pushed into the background, although he did stay really fucking horny. Like he'd try to stick his head between Bulma's breasts in the uncut version, and get shot by a machine gun because of it. The funny thing is, it doesn't even effect him besides giving him some bruises. Is it a good idea to have a potential rapist out there who's impervious to bullets?

Reading a DBZ-based message board, I stumbled across this brilliant quote, which I'd like to share.

" I can't believe what FUNimation is doing with Master Roshi. God they piss me off. I mean, people who've only watched the dub wouldn't even know he's a dirty old man!"

Ha ha! And to think, people say that DBZ fans are whiny, irrational bitches! This guy is brilliant! I don't know how many times I've been with my young cousins, watching DBZ, and saying "Yeah, this show is great, but what it really needs is a child molesting statutory rapist sticking his head in between women's breasts!"

The funniest thing about that is though, Roshi keeps doing it after Bulma and Vegeta become somewhat romantically involved. Now then, Roshi, when you hit on girl, you'd better make sure that chick's boyfriend isn't a naturally angry man who could chop you into bits and scatter you all over North Dakota, you stupid shit.

Favorite Line:

"Maybe he's out looking for hot chicks!!"

This is in refernce to Tapion from Movie 13, and, as he is saying it, he advanced towards Videl, causing Gohan to step in front and protect her. You fucking creepy bastard.