Trunks
Not that there's anything WRONG with that...
On this particular profile, we're going to answer the long-asked question among the nerd community, "Is Trunks gay?" and obviously, you can't just dash off a response to that kind of thing, seen here: "Yes, goddamn it." Sure, you COULD do something like that, but then you'd run the very real danger that this profile would only be one paragraph long.
So
let's examine the evidence. For one thing, he really wants his father's
attention. Which is really saying something in and of itself. Whereas
you, being a somewhat normal person, would eventually get tired of your
dad's fucking bullshit and go off and train by yourself, Trunks is always
begging him for attention like the sexless needy bastard that he is.
Why is that saying something? Well, let me tell you a story about the only two people I've ever known who shared those personality traits, whom I shall call "Sam" and "Max." See, Sam and Max are brothers, and they had a father who pretty much hated them but they were always trying to gain his love. And there's another thing to know about them. If suppressing your homosexuality were an Olympic sport, they would win the Gold and Silver respectively, Sam also setting a world record. They are fags. And not the kind of fag like I call my esteemed readers, but Steisand-watching, leather-wearing, distraction-girlfriend-obsessing, so-far-in-the-closet-they-could-repsackle-the-dry-wall FAAAAAAAGS.
So when Trunks acts like them, it's impossible for a deaf/blind chimpanzee not to see the correlation. But not so fast, Sparky. There are also some differences. For example, Sam and Max are also capable martial artists...umm...er, okay, how about that Trunks' hair is purple...oh fuck me.
Okay, he's gay. But so what. I'm not really homophobic. Sure, I say the word "fag" more than Eminem at a Backstreet Boys concert, but I really don't mind the wicked ass-ramming boy-hungry vile sodomites.
No, seriously, Trunks' gayness doesn't bother me the same way it does Frieza. With Frieza, his fagness is so flaming, so obvious, so GLAAD, that it is just so instantly despicable. Trunks is one of my favorite characters, but a lot of people hate him. And I don't blame them. Who doesn't hate the kid who finds his own father attractive? But his homosexuality isn't really his fault. His mother's idiocy and his father's general fuckedupness, he's lucky he's not a child predator.
I like Trunks, I really do. There are actually some cool gays, Graham Chapman for example, and his homo tendencies are repressed enough you can pretend if you really are a homophobe. He's still one of my favorites, after all, he's the one who shut Frieza's dick-filled mouth up for good, possibly because Frieza dumped him. We may never know.
But there's more to Trunks than just ass-hunger. He also is the main point around a really cool storyline. See, in a bit ripped directly off from the Terminator, he came back from the future, which was a really bleak place, so he wanted to save the main timeline. But here's what I find astounding: Bulma was able to build a time machine, which still pisses off El Guapo to this day. More about that on the Cell page. But, yeah, Bulma was able to make a time machine, but was incapable of creating the simple technology of a goddamn remote control. That's really fucking sad, my alcoholic Uncle Louie can use a fucking remote control, slut.
Trunks was actually a major force in most of the battles. Oh, wait, did I say that? I meant he was absolutely no help at all. While Vegeta, Piccolo, and Gohan were having a grand old time slowing down or killing the enemies, Trunks was too busy sniping at his father's ass or dying, you know, whatever was easier, except for the last episode of the Cell saga, which is my favorite episode of all time. Trunks smacks some ass down.
Also, he's a little boy at one point, but no one cares.
Favorite
Line:
"I like your shirt."
Woo boy, Trunks, this has gotten from general DBZ creepy to Jerry Springer creepy. And this is when Vegeta was wearing his pink shirt, and Vegeta gave the most correct reply ever, "You would."