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Aaron
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Aaron is a former writer for the Internet’s premier wrestling website,
IGNWrestling.com, before it was shut down due to massive owner incompetence.
Staying on his feet, he sunk into a state of horrifying depression because
he hadn’t been laid in nearly two weeks. This continued until he and
Parallax decided they were fed up with Goku’s fucking bullshit, and
started this website you are on now. Aaron, due to his impeccable writing
credentials of once getting a B+ in a Creative Writing class in high
school, is responsible for all of the words on this webpage, as well
as a couple of the ad banners. All emails regarding you being offended
should be sent
to him. Aaron is also a beast, six and a half feet tall,
and quite capable of fucking you up good, pussy. Also, Aaron is not
rude. He simply happens to hate you. But that is no reason to
not click on the ad banners located frequently on this website. And
would also like to give a big thanks to FUNimation for making DBZ stupider. |
Parallax
 | Known only
as "the only geek ever to actually have a steady girlfriend" to others,
Parallax was a genetically modified creation made from recombinated
alien and midget DNA, creating a sex machine capable of holding orgasm
for upwards of three hours, nearly 50 times as long as Aaron’s highest
known total. Parallax’s DNA also allows him to code this page, which
he does on a steady regimen, by which we mean "whenever he gets around
to it, motherfucker." All coding is his work. Parallax is a white male,
whose turn-ons include breasts. He enjoys such romantic things as walking
on the beach, rampant cursing and wild monkey sex on the lawn. He is
also a master of the throat punch. |
El
Guapo
 | El Guapo
once thought that drinking was the only way to be happy. But now he’s
seen the light, and knows that there IS no way to be happy. Nonetheless,
he is a raging alcoholic, smokes a pipe like a backwoods sheep-fucker, and also is the official dictionary, encyclopedia,
and comedy relief of this website. And not the good kind of comedy relief,
like Belushi in Animal House, more like Gleek from Superfriends.
El Guapo also happens to hate you more than Aaron, and is in charge
of handling all idiot emails that we receive here. |
ReeseX, Dingo, Hofan, Tails:
These guys are the ones in charge of some of the more complex shit you see here. ReeseX is our
image guy, and without him, this site would still be using badly-reformatted images from MS Paint. He's
also so bitter he makes Aaron look like Mary Goddamn Poppins.
Dingo is our offical artist, and although his love of the marijuana and slutwhores keeps him from actually
drawing anything, we keep him on because he happens to have a gun. Hofan is a Chinese man with the BEST FUCKING FIRST
NAME ever, and has designed our current layout. Tails is a big, fat, totally bald sexual exhibitionist who handles
all of the more advanced coding here, as well as fucks his girlfirend on the computer while coding is being done.
Acknowledgments
We’d like to thank Planet
Namek for
most of our images and for being an inspiration, the DBZOA for a whole shitload of comedy, and...um, you. Or some shit like that.
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