
PART I
The words she had
read on a plaque in one of the many debriefing rooms she had been confined to for
nearly two weeks, suddenly resonated, speaking their fluency.
"Life is a culmination of the past,
an awareness of the present, an indication of a future beyond knowledge,
the quality that gives a touch of divinity to matter."
--Charles Lindbergh
These lines represented where Kathryn Janeway was--at home in San Francisco confronted with the
past and completely aware of the present. A present in which she and
Voyager's crew had returned to Earth in seven years instead of the
twenty-three endured by the pragmatic Admiral Janeway.
Admiral Janeway had been destroyed in the Delta Quadrant and with her, her timeline. The
admiral had manipulated, coaxed, and enticed the captain into using the
Borg-infested, transwarp hub to get Voyager home before her future could
manifest. A future where so many of her crew would suffer and die,
specifically one individual would suffer and die. Only this knowledge made the captain falter
and question the inexorableness of the future. A future Captain Janeway had
glimpsed and finally revolted against.
And now she stood in the foyer of an apartment she scarcely recognized
for not having seen it in seven years. Her eyes needed to adjust. The warm
colors of this place were a sharp contrast to the stark shades of her
quarters on Voyager.
A wry grin passed across Janeway's face and she snorted as she
remembered the years of self-imposed isolation. Her sparse quarters had
served nicely to remind her that she was the captain. But these rooms
extolled the virtues of a convivial, passionate woman--a woman the captain missed intensely.
"Captain?" a soft, unsure voice questioned. "Are you
all right? Why do you not proceed?"
"Oh, Seven, I'm sorry. I was just distracted," Janeway responded
slowly, stepping off the last stair from the entryway into the lower level
of the living room. "It's a bit
chilly in here. The environmental settings must be in conservation mode,"
she said, dropping her duffel bag onto the floor as Seven moved up next to
her.
"I think it's just down the hall," she remarked quietly,
disconcertion etching her features.
Seven raised her brow. "Captain?"
Janeway turned, focusing on Seven. "The environmental control panel."
"Oh."
Janeway grinned reassuringly at her, recognizing that the other woman
found her lack of direction unsettling. She needed to maintain the
captain's mask a little longer if only for Seven's sake. Since arriving in
the Alpha Quadrant, the ex-drone had
suffered through being debriefed, scanned, and prodded by various
Federation officials and personnel.
Given the Federation's fear of the Borg, they had shown remarkable
restraint when it came to Seven--much to Janeway's relief. Maybe this
governmental temperance would give way to political temperance and Seven
would be allowed to hold a post at a Federation
lab or maybe even attend the Academy, if she should chose to.
"One step at a time," the captain reflected, reining in her
thoughts and refocusing on the immediate needs of her young companion. "Come on,
your room is down here, too."
Shuffling her bag from one shoulder to the other, Seven followed the captain down the hall
until she came to the first of four doors. Pausing, Janeway pushed open
the door and allowed Seven to enter in front of her.
Seven walked into the spacious room and stood, taking it in. The furnishings
were elaborate, plush, and inviting like the rest of the apartment
appeared to be. Moving around the room, she laid her bag on the settee
situated
in a small alcove framed by a trio of floor-to-ceiling windows. Beyond, she could see the
churning Bay of San Francisco.
From just inside the doorway, Janeway watched Seven travel around the
room as she familiarized herself with it. "Beautiful," she thought,
dragging her eyes along the bold curves of Seven's figure.
"Decadent," Seven thought as she ran her hand over a
thick quilt, which hung casually over the headboard of the
intricately carved, four-poster bed.
"My grandmother knitted it," Janeway said, still examining the tall
blond as she caressed the quilt.
Seven turned and regarded her. "It's lovely. The room is very nice.
Thank you for . . . sharing, Captain."
A vibrant smile pressed across the captain's lips. "Kathryn, please. I
would rather not be called Captain for a while, at least not at
home--here." She paused for a moment, assembling her thoughts. "And Seven, I'm happy to share.
. . .
Tomorrow we will have your regeneration unit installed there,"
she said, pointing at the far wall. "Unless there's a place you would rather put it."
Seven moved around the room. "I believe the regeneration unit is going
to conflict with these copious furnishings." She pointed at a door. "Is
this a closet?"
Janeway looked horrified. "Seven, I won't have you living in a closet!"
"I would only be regenerating in it," she mused, straight-faced.
Janeway calmed herself. "I am more concerned with your comfort than
what the room looks like, but if you prefer the closet . . . ."
Seven smirked at her and the captain realized she was teasing. "The
wall is sufficient."
Janeway nodded and chuckled, relief flaming through her as she turned to go. "Okay, then. Make yourself
comfortable. . . . I should just go check on those environmental controls."
"Kathryn?"
Janeway turned in the doorway, placing a hand on the frame. "Yes?"
Seven glanced at the ground, and then back up at her. "I am
grateful."
The captain felt a rush of protectiveness and sought to comfort the
ex-Borg. "Seven, I'm happy to have you here," Janeway said
quietly, letting go of the doorframe and moving towards Seven to embrace
her. "Really," she whispered into the taller woman's ear as she
hugged her close. And that
was the truth. Having the young woman with her had helped her keep her
focus away from feeling suddenly lost and purposeless.
*******
Standing on the balcony outside her apartment, Janeway watched the
sunrays flare off of tendrils of water waving across the Bay. The
afternoon sunlight was refreshing to her spirit, and since it occurred
only for a few spare hours of the afternoon, she took advantage of it. Soon
the fog would roll in as it did every evening. San Francisco fog was like
a living, breathing creature--a great, gray bear taking interminable puffs
of air to lumber its way across the Bay.
A shadow passed at her periphery. "Kathryn, I have prepared a small
meal. I thought you might be hungry now."
Seven held her breath waiting for Janeway's reply.
She still wasn't hungry, but she hadn't had anything not even coffee in
more than twenty-four hours and she sensed the worry shading Seven's
words. "That sounds good."
The taller woman exhaled in relief and turned to walk back inside.
Following Seven in, Janeway noticed a familiar picture beckoning from a
silver frame sitting on the side table next to the couch. Routing her path
around the couch to the table, she gripped the frame and looked intently
at the photo. She shook her head and sighed. "All water under the
bridge," she thought, turning the frame upside down on the table
before continuing to the kitchen.
Entering through the double doors, Janeway was invited to take a seat
at the table. She inspected the chicken stew in a large crock in the center of
the table and the bowl and utensil on the place setting in front of her. "You've
already prepared everything?"
"Of course, Kathryn," Seven said concisely.
Janeway nodded, chuckling. "Of course you have. It smells wonderful.
Thank you."
Seven sat opposite her, placing her napkin in her lap. "You're welcome.
It is not an elaborate meal, but it is nutritionally balanced. Please,
begin."
Janeway flashed a crooked smile. It was funny how an invitation from
Seven sounded more like an order. Maybe she did have a future in
Starfleet.
A few peaceful minutes passed, both women content to eat quietly, lost
in their own thoughts. Finally, Seven broke the silence. "Kathryn? Do you
not wish to see that photograph?" she inquired.
"Hmm. . . ?"
"The photograph you placed face down on the table. I will remove it, if
it is unpleasant for you."
Janeway looked attentively into the pale blue eyes. "No. It's all right. I
can replace it with something more suitable. It's no longer appropriate
for me to harbor feelings or a picture, for that matter, of a married man.
Now is it?"
"Given human culture, I suspect it is not. However, there are more than
three hundred examples of multiple--"
Janeway pointed one finger into the air, thereby interrupting Seven.
"That's okay, Seven. I don't really want Mark anymore; I don't love
him. It's really just the loss of the idea of him. Can you understand
that?" She broke off, giving the other woman a moment to think. When
Seven didn't reply, she continued. "He has another life and so do I--or
rather--I will, eventually."
Seven nodded her affirmation
and resumed eating; although, she wasn't entirely sure she understood. She
considered pressing the captain for more information, but the older woman
was now staring introspectively into space, again lost in her own
thoughts. Instead she just
observed Janeway from lowered eyes, quietly inspecting her.
Seven's analytical mind
whirled around the captain's words. Why would she be
unsure of her future? The captain was already a successful individual,
and for this reason alone, she would be considered an appealing mate. Add
to that, the fact that, by any standard, she was an attractive female--piercing, blue-gray eyes set in
classic features framed by thick, silky auburn hair. She was also intelligent,
cunning, formidable, generous, compassionate . . . . What else could a
human want in a romantic partner?
"Chakotay,"
Seven thought. She would ask him. After all, at one time, he seemed
immensely fond of the captain. Her thoughts shifted to the commander--she had to tell
the captain about her relationship with him before he showed up
on her doorstep.
Anxiety spidered up her throat. It wasn't that she feared Janeway's anger; she knew she wouldn't be angry
so much as annoyed at the secrecy. For Seven, though, it was more than
enduring Janeway's displeasure; it was that telling her seemed to
validate the relationship, making it real. Seven sighed.
"Kathryn, I must inform you about . . . something."
Janeway put down her spoon, sensing that Seven needed her complete
attention.
Seven steeled herself, clenching her jaw. "Commander Chakotay and I
have commenced--." She sighed again. "I am seeing Commander Chakotay."
The admiral's words came flying back at her--'in the arms of her
husband . . . Chakotay . . .' Janeway followed the wood grain of the
table with her eyes and her fingertip. "I know."
"You know," Seven parroted.
"Yes, Admiral Janeway informed me," she said simply.
"You approve?"
"Yes, Seven, of course. Chakotay is a good man . . . and he
would be lucky to have you," she said softly.
Seven smiled openly, obviously happy that her captain approved. Janeway felt her chest struggle to contain her heart,
at once feeling an empathetic flash of joy as well as a rapid ripping at
her psyche. Ultimately, she knew
that she would do anything to help this woman, even if it meant
losing her.
*******
The captain stood in the foyer, a wry smile twisting her features as
she reached for the access lever to admit her former
first officer into the apartment. "Hello, Chakotay," she greeted cordially.
"Cap--Kathryn!" he said, his eyes growing wide. "I--I thought you would
be at Starfleet headquarters. Wasn't there a final officer's debriefing?"
"It ended," Janeway said curtly, feeling a bit annoyed at his
evident distress.
Chakotay clasped his hands in front of him, wringing them together.
"Oh." He nodded reflexively, pressing his lips together in
concentration. "I was planning to take Seven to Chinatown for lunch . . . If you
would like to join us?"
Janeway smirked at him. "That's generous of you; however, my mother and
sister are set to arrive in a couple of hours."
"Then maybe another time?"
"Maybe," Janeway said noncommittally.
Chakotay shuffled back and forth, placing his weight first on one foot
than on the other. Kathryn eyed his nervous fidgeting, and for a moment,
felt badly that he should be so uneasy in her presence. "Chakotay, please
relax. Seven has
spoken to me about your . . . relationship."
He remained silent, but the panicky tottering stopped. Kathryn took her voice low, whispering conspiratorially. "It's funny, you
know. I always got the impression that you barely tolerated Seven. When you
actually had a little crush, huh?"
Chakotay grinned, his eyes sparkling. "Well, no, I did want her off the
ship at first. I was sure she would betray us, but she didn't. And she
does grow on you. She is quite beautiful."
"Yes, she is at that," Kathryn said a little less enthusiastically. She
would have much rather heard a testimonial to Seven's many other qualities--not
just her beauty.
Chakotay continued to grin amiably. "Kathryn, I
wanted to thank you for coming to the aid of the Maquis," he said, looking
at her from under his thick brows. "I doubt they would have jailed
us, but if you hadn't insisted, well, the trial would have dragged on a very long time."
Janeway held up her hand in protest. "Please, don't thank me. After those first few months in the Delta
Quadrant, I tried not to treat the Maquis any differently than the
Starfleet
crewmembers. Everyone performed admirably all those years. There wasn't any way I
would have tolerated allowing the persecution of any member of that crew.
We've all been through enough."
He nodded, casing Janeway familiarly with his eyes. "I know. But still,
thank you."
A door closed and Seven emerged from the hall, striding up to the pair
still standing in the foyer. "Commander, I am ready," Seven said stiffly, casting a glance at
Janeway.
"You look lovely," Chakotay complemented smoothly, taking in the pale blue
turtleneck and black wool pants Seven wore.
"Thank you. Kathryn chose the ensemble." Chakotay looked at the
captain, surprise setting his features.
Janeway surveyed Seven. The way the clothing softly enhanced her figure
and brought a flush of color to her skin and eyes made Janeway's mouth
dry. She was feeling every bit like the owner of a rare jewel who realized
a thief was loose in her home.
Janeway managed to swallow the sigh before it escaped her lips. "I have things I must do,"
she said with a nod, turning away from the couple and
starting down the hall. "Have a good
time. . . ," she called out.
*******
"You've been awfully quiet. Don't you like the food?"
Chakotay asked.
"Yes, it's very good. The variety of ingredients is tantalizing," Seven
assured.
"Something else wrong then?"
Seven glanced around the restaurant, passing over the vibrant colors
and bright atmosphere of the dining room, her eyes only briefly resting on
several of the patrons. "No, I'm just feeling anxious."
"Why?"
"I believe people are staring at me--because I am . . . was Borg."
"Seven, you are not Borg anymore, and if people are staring, it's because they
are wondering what such a beautiful woman like you is doing with a guy like me."
Seven smiled bashfully. "That is inaccurate, but thank you
nonetheless."
Chakotay grinned, the small lines at the corners of his eyes wrinkling. "You're going to have to give it time. You'll
get used to everything--it's just new and uncomfortable right now."
Reality was Chakotay had noticed the stares Seven had garnered while
they were being seated, and it had even made him a bit uncomfortable. In attempt to quiet his own nerves, he changed the subject to something less daunting. "How
are you getting along all right with the captain?"
Seven grew serious again. "Very well. Kathryn is good to me. I owe her much."
"We all do, but she's not like that. She does
it because she's an honorable woman and it's her duty. She doesn't look at
it like we owe her. She wouldn't want us to feel like that. It would hurt
her."
Seven considered his words. "She asked me to stay with her. Do you
believe she requested this because it was her duty?"
"Oh, boy! High maintenance dealing with all this Borg stuff," he thought, sighing.
He shook his head. "No. No, she invited you because you're her friend."
Seven placed her chopsticks neatly on her plate. Looking down, she
fidgeted with the napkin in her lap.
"Seven?"
"Everyone else had a place to go," she stated succinctly, sadness
edging her words.
"You had someplace to go, too. None of us would have abandoned you--not even B'Elanna,"
he teased, trying to lighten the mood again.
Seven grinned a bit at the mention of the fiery engineer she had so
often quarreled with. "Come on now, you're special to all of us," he
said.
She nodded and he took the opportunity to change the subject again.
Maybe this time he could pick a topic that wouldn't spawn any more
Borg-induced traumas. "Uh,
how about a walk along the wharf before heading back?"
*******
The three women bustled up to the door.
"Kate, this bag is heavy," the tall, strawberry blond complained.
Kathryn leaned Phoebe's easel against the wall. "I'm hurrying. I'm just having a little trouble remembering the
entrance
code. It's been a long time since I had to use it repeatedly,"
Kathryn said,
annoyance dripping from her voice as she punched in the code.
She pushed the door open with her back as she grasped the easel to tug it
into the foyer of her apartment. Just inside, she stopped dead nearly slamming the bulky, wooden
thing into the railing encircling the elevated entryway. Below her,
Chakotay held Seven in a heated embrace of arms and lips.
Kathryn stared as large, thick fingers traveled down a lithe
back. She felt the shock boil through her, turning her cheeks red and
causing her skin to heat. "Come on, they are dating. What did you
expect?" she admonished herself silently. "I'm sorry, hope we are
not interrupting," Janeway stated loudly, a slight quiver in her voice
being the only betrayal to her composure.
The two sprang away from each other. Seven stared at the captain, her mind
spinning erratically for something to say. Chakotay crinkled his chin,
glancing from Kathryn to Seven and back again. "No, not--not
interrupting. I was just leaving."
"Oh." Janeway said sharply, just then remembering that her mother and
sister were still standing behind her. "Uh, before you leave, I would like
to introduce you to my mother, Gretchen, and my sister, Phoebe."
Two sets of gray eyes regarded him, cool in their reception. Chakotay
walked up the stairs and extended his hand to the elder Janeway. "Mom, this is
Chakotay."
A delicate, slender hand gripped his with more force than he would have
thought possible. "Nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Janeway."
"Yes. You too, Mr. Chakotay," the white-haired woman said in raspy tones, regarding him
dubiously.
Phoebe eyed her mother, knowing how it felt to be on the receiving end
of that look, and then abruptly pushed
her hand between the two. "Hi. It's nice to meet you, Chakotay."
Chakotay took the
offered hand, grateful to be released from the hardnosed inspection of
Gretchen Janeway. "Nice to meet you, too," he said, fascination
spreading a wide smile across his face.
One look at Phoebe told Chakotay everything he needed to know--she was
her sister's antithesis. The eclectic clothing and bulky silver jewelry on a
taller, more voluptuous
frame lent to a lighthearted, and maybe even whimsical appearance--both of
which he found appealing.
"An artist,"
he recalled silently intrigued.
Phoebe smiled back and he released her hand. "Well, I've got to be going." He turned to Seven, who still remained
silent. "Thank you for the wonderful time. I'll see you on Wednesday."
Seven only nodded as Janeway yanked the easel the rest of the way down
the stairs and leaned it against the wall next to her.
"Seven, my mother, Gretchen, and my sister, Phoebe."
Seven pulled herself up straight. "It's a pleasure to meet both of you."
Gretchen beamed at the blond woman and Seven was struck by how evident it was that
this woman was Kathryn's mother. "Seven, we've heard so much about you,"
Gretchen said, picking up her bag and hooking her arm around Seven's
shoulders. "Tell me, Dear, what do you think of Earth?"
Seven looked at Gretchen
bewilderedly. "I find it . . . it is . . . "
Kathryn interrupted, holding off Seven's bafflement. "Uh, Seven, why don't you show them where they will be staying?"
Seven nodded at Kathryn and set off down the hall still ensconced in
Gretchen's arms and with Phoebe in tow.
Kathryn watched them go. Gripping the easel, she pulled it into the living room up next to the picture window.
For a moment, she just stared out the window. Her moods were a wonder to
her--verdant delight, and then arid depression. "Coffee. That's what I need. Hot, black coffee," Kathryn thought,
walking into the kitchen.
Pulling the cup away from the replicator
terminal, she brought it to her lips. "Mmm. . . ," she hummed, closing her
eyes and savoring the familiar tang. The bitter flavor washed past her
tongue and she swallowed.
She thought she would be able to deal with the romance blossoming
between Chakotay and Seven, or had she just hoped it would all go away once
they were in the Alpha Quadrant? Behind her still closed eyelids the image
of Seven crushed in Chakotay's arms racked her mind. Seven's full lips
moving against his. "Oh, God, what is wrong with me?" Kathryn mumbled.
"Wrong? Aren't you feeling well, Sweetheart?" Gretchen asked, coming
into the kitchen.
"Fine, Mom."
Gretchen eyed her daughter suspiciously. "You're talking to yourself .
. . just like your father used to when he was upset about something."
"Really, I'm fine. Where's Phoebe and Seven?"
"You know Phoebe--she has the poor, young woman trapped in the hallway.
All kinds of questions."
Knowing how curious and obtrusive her sister could be, Kathryn's eyes
grew wide with panic. "Mom, you can't leave Phoebe alone to accost Seven," she said, rounding
the corner from the kitchen into the living room and making her way to the
hallway. But before she reached the hall, she spotted them.
Surprise cast Kathryn's features. Phoebe and Seven were sitting
together on her living room couch. The two leaned in intimately together
over a holographic imager. Kathryn moved tentatively closer to the them, finally coming to sit on the other
side of Seven. "What are you looking at?"
"You."
"Me?"
"Yes, images of you when you were . . . small."
Kathryn looked up and met her sister's smug look. "Phoebe, why are you
boring her with those?"
Seven lifted her head again, regarding Kathryn. "I am not bored."
Kathryn shook her head and frowned at Phoebe then looked at the
holoimage. "I haven't seen these in years.
That one was taken just after my sixth birthday," she said, pointing
at the image. "I loved that frilly,
yellow dress. Felt like a ballerina. Wanted to wear it all the time,"
Kathryn chuckled.
"Especially with your favorite boots," Gretchen said, watching the
three women on the couch.
"Oh, yeah, those cowboy boots," Kathryn recalled.
"Yes, those hideous black ones your father brought back from one
of his trips to Houston."
"I loved those boots. Wore them with everything, even during the
summer. . . ." Kathryn reminisced.
At that, Phoebe poked Seven in the arm, and then pinched her nose with
her thumb and forefinger. "I remember those boots, too."
Seven smiled warmly, feeling filled by the comfort and amicability
these women offered so freely.
*******
Phoebe strolled into the kitchen where she knew she would find her
mother and sister busily preparing caramel brownies. That was Kate's
one and only request since returning home--her mother's caramel brownies.
A small smirk graced the lightly freckled features as she watched her
older sister plunge her finger into the large bowl of dark chocolate
batter. "Nothing much ever really changes," Phoebe thought.
"Survived seven years in Delta Quadrant and she's still a creature of
habit." But
then her mind pushed around to the newest, honorary member of the Janeway
clan--the tall, wispy blond regenerating in the bedroom. Maybe her sister
hadn't let Starfleet convention completely wipe away her existence. "Kate must be
insane," she deliberated silently.
Phoebe cleared her throat, announcing her presence in the kitchen. Two
identical smiles beamed at her. Stepping up to Kathryn, she
smiled back mischievously. "So why are you letting ole second-in-command move in on your
territory?" Phoebe asked.
"Hmm . . ?" Kathryn hummed, still sucking the fudge
confection off her finger.
"Tall, dark, and Native American? Why is he squeezing your tomatoes?"
Phoebe pressed.
"Phoebe! The state of your sister's love life is her own business,"
Gretchen scolded her youngest daughter.
Kathryn shifted away from her sister, her gaze falling on the back of
her mother's head. "Mom, what are you two talking about? I don't have a love life. I've
been . . . marooned in the Delta Quadrant for seven years."
"Whatever you say . . . ," Phoebe slanted.
Kathryn, exasperated and perplexed, twisted her eyebrows together.
Gretchen turned from the pan she was preparing. "Sweetheart, I guess we just assumed, well, with as much as you wrote
to us about Seven of Nine, that you two were involved."
"Involved! Involved in what?"
"Involved-involved, Kate," Phoebe explained cheekily.
"No! Of course not, Phoebe. She was a member of my crew, and
more than that, she's innocent. What kind of captain would that make
me?" Kathryn said, dramatically. It annoyed her to no end that her
family could come in and in a day figure out what had confused her for years.
Phoebe smirked. "She didn't look so innocent to me."
Kathryn glared menacingly at her sister and Gretchen rolled her eyes at
her youngest daughter before turning her attention back to Kathryn. "All right, Kate, we understand.
It just seemed as though you
cared for the young woman,"
Gretchen explained.
"I do care for her, but not like that. . . ."
Gretchen raised a hand, interrupting her daughter's rationalizations. "Kate, really, do you think I don't know? I'm your mother. I know you
better than anyone. Besides, everyone can see it; it's written all over your
face every time you look at her."
Kathryn sighed, trying to come
to grips with her mother's derisive tone. "What's written all over my
face?"
Gretchen turned, wiped her fingers on the kitchen towel and then placed
her hands on Kathryn's shoulders. "Your love for her."
Janeway squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "What?"
"Oh, come on, Kate, don't deny it," Phoebe taunted.
Janeway looked at Phoebe, then back at her mother. "I'm her captain."
"Not anymore. . . ." Phoebe pointed out, lifting her eyebrows
suggestively at Kathryn.
Gretchen, ignoring Phoebe's comment, nodded at Kathryn. "True. And mentor. And friend. So? Don't you think that there might be
more?" She paused. "Kate, all I'm saying is that she is a lovely
person. You enjoy each other. Care for one another. And if there is one
thing I know about you, my daughter, is how you set these arbitrary
restrictions on your personal life while taking incalculable risks in
every other circumstance."
Kathryn frowned, involuntarily recognizing the accuracy of her mother's
insights. Gretchen peered intently back at her, hoping she was getting
through to her daughter. Kathryn shrugged away from her mother's grasp and peered into the glass
front of the oven. "So are they almost ready?"
Phoebe snorted and Gretchen sighed, wrapping her arm around Kathryn's shoulders.
"Oh, Sweetheart, yes, another few minutes."
End of Part I
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