I was diagnosed with ARDS after a bout with pneumococcal pneumonia in 1997. My wife and I came down with flu like symptoms at the same time. I was so sick I don't even remember it. Forty-eight hours later my wife was much better and I had a fever of 104. So she got me into the emergency room and my doctor came in that night and made arrangements to have us Life-Flighted to LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City the next morning. My doctor was a pulmonary specialist as well as having a general practice. By sending me to Salt Lake he saved my life.

My fever stayed around 104 for the next two weeks. During my stay I developed sepsis and later a staph infection. I developed three pneumothoraxes and had chest tubes in two different times. I even had my heart stop on them one evening. Another time they didn't think I would last through the night and I remember them taking down the cards and letters my wife had put on the poster board in my room. When she came in the next day she really let them have it. She knew all along that I was going to make it out of there alive.

I was on the vent for two months and spent a couple more weeks in the hospital regaining a little of my strength. However, when they sent us back home to southern Idaho I was worried that it was too soon because I was so weak. And I remember the doctors telling me that I would be there in the hospital for another week and it would drag into two, and then three, and more. I couldn't even remember what home looked like!

When I got home I was on a feeding tube for two more weeks and on full time oxygen for a total of six weeks. I still keep a tank and have to use it now and again. We moved to Boise, Idaho in November of 1999 when I went back to work. Boise is around 2600 feet above sea level and Burley, where we were living, is around 4500 feet. It's much easier to breathe down here, but I still can get short of breath just walking a little too fast.

I had a really hard time going back to work. I didn't have any energy and couldn't concentrate like I used to. I'm a computer systems analyst and being able to focus on detail is very important in my line of work. Anyway, last fall I found the ARDS Support Center site and was amazed by all the stories and information that is out there. Back in the summer of '97 when I got home from the hospital I was only able to find the Harborview Medical Center site in Seattle that offered a pamphlet about ARDS. Now there is a lot of information out on the web. So as I learned more about ARDS I started asking my doctor here in Boise if my problems may be related to PTSD. He said that they sure could be and I have since been evaluated by a psychologist and learned that I do have PTSD as well as survivor's guilt. My doctor started me on medication about a month ago and I'm seeing the psychologist every couple of weeks. These visits will continue for two or three more sessions. The medication and therapy has completely changed my view of the future. I feel like I have my head above water for the first time in four years! My psychologist has encouraged me to write out all of the terrible memories I have from my illness. For some reason they couldn't keep me sedated enough and I was in a state of being half awake most of the time. And the things I remember are so distorted and scary and yet so real to me. I kept writing down bullet items to help jog my memory for about six months after I got home. Now I need to revisit those memories and write them out to get it out of my system. It's not something I and really looking forward to but I do believe it's important to do it.

I think the most important thing to me now is that I am able to enjoy my family and that I have been able to return to a near normal life style. At least as normal as it can be considering the circumstances. I lost 52% of the alveoli in my lungs in that illness, but like most all ARDS survivors I feel very lucky and blessed to be alive.

I thank the wonderful people at the ARDS Support Center for the information they provided as well as the support. I also owe so much to my loving wife. Sometimes I think this illness must be harder on the family and loved ones than on the patients themselves. I also owe much to a very special young lady, also an ARDS survivor, who came into the hospital and visited with my wife and I. Joy helped us both through a very difficult time. I'm so thankful for all of the cards, letters and prayers that were sent to me and offered for me. I know that the Lord was with me and blessing both my wife and I and was watching over us throughout that trial in our lives.

I hope and pray that this day may be better for all of you than yesterday. And that tomorrow will be better yet. I will always keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.