Script

Below are a few samples of scripts to making contact with a potential birth mother. The questions and sample responses are all included. PARR hopes this will help someone make successful contact.

NUMBER TO CALL: ________________________

Hello. I am calling for "Jane Doe." Is she there?__________________________________

N0>

Do I have the correct phone number for her?

N0>

I'm sorry to have bothered you. Thank you. {Hang up}
_______________________________________

YES>

May I speak with her?

N0> Not available for whatever reason

When might it be convenient for me to call back to speak with her?

{Take information - complete notes! - repeat back to confirm}

Thank you for your help. I will call back at [whatever day/time was
specified]. {Hang up}
_______________________________________

YES>

Hello, my name is _____________. Am I speaking with Jane Doe?

YES>

I have a personal matter to speak to you about, and I can tell there is someone else there. Would you prefer that I call you back?

YES>

Thank you. I'll be calling you at [day/time]. Goodbye.

N0> We can talk now...

Just in case of phone difficulties, I would like you to take my name and phone number, may I ask you to write it down? <hope she gets it!>

As I mentioned, this is a personal matter. I am searching for the Jane Doe whose maiden name was Buck. Do I have the right person?

N0>

Sorry to have bothered you and thanks.
_______________________________________

YES>

I was born on __________, in __________ Hospital, and was adopted at birth. I am looking for my birthmother, and have reason to believe that you may be her.

SILENCE>

I realize this may be a shock to you. Let me reassure you that I don't want anything but some of your time. No one knows about this call; I have been very discrete.
_______________________________________

N0> I'm not the person you are looking for.

Let me give you some identifying information. Jane Buck Doe was born [this date] to (parents] who lived in [town]. If this is you, I believe I may have the right person.

YES> I'm the right person.

Please keep my name and phone number that I gave you earlier. I know you must be very surprised.
_______________________________________

YES> How did you find me?

I know you are surprised, but I used legitimate search methods and I have been very discrete. {Use this both for unhappy and happy reactions.}
_______________________________________

Make a leap of faith, and either follow her lead or give her something to respond to if she was too stunned to start up herself.>

I have been searching for you for over three years. Would you also like my address?

I've had a good life, and I have often thought of you. I hope you are OK too.

[Describe yourself] I've never known anyone I resembled physically.

I would like to talk with you a little, but if you need some time to recover I understand. When should I call back?
_______________________________________

determining when you should call again.>
_______________________________________

Follow up with a mailed card. Use a general "thinking of you" card with a generic printed message. You should write in the card a personal message such as:

I enjoyed talking with you earlier today. Even though we have not been in touch since {birthdate}, I have thought of you often. Just in case you did not get my phone number clearly, it is (area code + number). You may call me at any time. Or you can write to me at (address) if you prefer.

I would like the opportunity to speak with you again. Thanks.
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