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My Birth
Mother |
About the Founder of PARR |
Karen
(standing) and my birth mothers best friend |
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UPDATE
January 2006
I would like to start out with a positive note! The week before Christmas, my birth sister contacted me prior to after not hearing from her for over 2 years. I had sent her cards and notes through out this time period to let her know I was thinking of her, of our marriage in August 2004 and our current address and phone number. I was very surprised when I received a card from her that contained her email address and was actually not sure what to do. After some encouragement from my husband, family members, and the wonderful folks in the adoption community, I emailed her on Christmas Eve. We have been corresponding via email ever since. It has only been a few weeks and we are taking it one day at a time. I have no expectations and I hope that she continues to grow and be a part of my life. My husband and I are welcoming her with open arms as a part of our family.
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby with the aid of an infertility specialist. it has taken us a year to get to the point of getting pregnant. Sadly, our first pregnancy ended when I started to have severe pain and bleeding. This pregnancy was in my tube. After all was well again, we got pregnant a second time and sadly this pregnancy ended in a miscarriage two weeks before Christmas. It has been difficult for both of us but we are dealing with the grief and coming to an acceptance of our infertility issues. We have decided to start the adoption process and are looking forward to creating our family through adoption.
In my last update, I mentioned my Aunt having esophagus cancer. She went through treatments and had a scope done in September. The results were bitter sweet. The good news was that it appeared as if the cancer was gone but the bad news was that she will not be able to eat as the scar tissue had completely closed her esophagus.
My husband and I have done some traveling in 2005. In January and July we went to Las Vegas. During our July trip we also visited the Grand Canyon. In August we went to Detroit, MI for a long weekend to celebrate our first anniversary and my cousins 25th anniversary. October we headed to the Outter Banks with my husbands family and for Christmas we went to my parents in Pittsburgh.
Enjoy the photographs! I wish the best for each of you who are searching, in reunion, and that the journey is a peaceful and healing one for you.
Our 1st Anniversary
"on the edge" at the Grand Canyon
"Festival of Lights" Christmas 2005
UPDATE
August 2005
This is the second update
since the PARR web page was uploaded.
The first is at the bottom of the page.
Since the last update, there have been many changes in my life on many
levels. In February 2004 we purchased a
new home and made the decision to sell my condo. We moved into our new home in April of 2004
and were married in August 2004.
Our home is everything we had
been looking for and most of our spare time and cash have gone into making various
needed home improvements.
Our wedding day was
everything we both had dreamed of and as our first anniversary approaches we
are just as much in love today as we were when we first fell in love. We spent 10 days in
In March of 2005 my aunt was
diagnosed with Stage IV Grade IV throat cancer.
She has gone through her treatments and is doing much better. She has a large family and many friends who
care and love her very much and are hopeful that she will be fine in the upcoming
weeks, months, and years ahead.
As for my search for my birth
father, I have not done and don’t plan on pursing any further. At this point in my life, I feel as if I have
exhausted all possibilities of finding him.
I do have hope that one day, assuming he knows who I am that he will
make attempts to find me. The doors are
open in the event that he would make contact and we would welcome him and his
family into our family with open arms.
UPDATE!
As 2004 gets well underway,
and my birthday rapidly approaching, I thought this would be a good time and
place to take a look at the changes that have occurred in my life during 2003.
We are planning an August
2004 wedding and are counting down the days until we are husband and wife.
Another change in 2003 was
the loss of my fiance’s cousin, Abbey who passed away very suddenly in July at
the age of 21. She had battled cancer
and a few weeks prior to her death was told by the doctors she had a clean bill
of health. We are all very sadden to
learn that acute leukemia took her life.
Our hearts go out to her mother and family. I think of them often so please keep them in
your prayers. We all know what it is
like to experience the loss of a child.
On
My Grandma was a person with
great curiosity. She watched TV, she read,
did crossword puzzles, and she crocheted.
Grandma taught me how to cross stitch and latch hook. She gave me the
first kind of juice and the only kind of juice I will drink. Pineapple juice!
Grandma also traveled with us when I was a
kid. She loved taking trips - she got to
see new areas of the
I got to accompany Grandma and my mom and dad
on several trips in the car, and I will always remember those. Every summer, we
would go some place different and that was always fun. We would travel to
Grandma was involved in so many groups, clubs
and activities, but it is time for God to take her. I can see her right now in
heaven: laughing, talking and probably even visiting the Italian club with
Grandpa, and her new and old friends in heaven. Grandma now is in charge of watching over
us. I know in spirit she will join us but especially at Crabtree
fireworks. Crabtree fireworks has been a
huge family gathering time of year for the family. We would ouu and ahhh as the burst of color
covered the sky. I and a few of us
cousins would choose which ones we liked the best and said for years those were
the fireworks we would have on Grandma’s 100th birthday, which would
have been February 2004.
I think the most important
reason Grandma loved her life was because of her family. Family, and family
history, meant something important to Grandma. I spent the first 27 years of my
life in Irwin, and I saw Grandma almost every single Sunday growing up. Much of
the time we would be eating or sitting at the dining room table in her
apartment. In particular, family
dinners at Thanksgiving and Christmas were always great times, in terms of the
food and the fun we had, and I will remember those dinners fondly the rest of
my life. Especially the time Santa came
to visit us on Christmas Eve at Grandma’s apartment. I was convinced by my cousins to go answer
the door. I think I was surprised to see
Santa and I led him into the living room where everyone was gathered. I stood in the middle of the room, looked at
my mom and I asked “Why is Uncle Frank dressed like Santa Clause?” I think everyone was surprised I recognized
him as everyone started to laugh
Grandma wanted to pass down the value of
valuing family, and she did - first to her children; then to her grandchildren.
She will be greatly missed and cherish the great memories she has given all of
us
I recently added someone to our family –
Drew, my fiancé. We will be married
The death of my Grandma was the end of an era
in my life- my grandfather, Grandma's husband, died in 1970 when I was 9 months
old. My other Grandma died in 1981 and my other Grandpa died in 1967 before I
was born. With the recent death of
Grandma, that means my last grandparent is gone.
We have a large family, and we are a close
family. We learned that closeness, that attention to family, from Grandma.
Although she made me mad sometimes, and was stubborn at times, I am lucky I have
had this lady as a Grandma. She was a gift from God to my family but when she
died, she was a gift to God.
As Drew and I continue in our life together
and approach marriage, we hope to create a family. I can picture a day, when
Drew and I will bring our children to Irwin to see their grandparents, and we
will tell them of the names of the past, the names that made up our family and
we will pass down the value of valuing family. I will not forget them.
Before Grandma’s death I felt like I was on pins and needles every time the phone rang, because we knew one part of our family was going to leave us, but we also smiled, because we knew that Grandma will live on in our family and in our memories forever as we go forward.
I am an adoptee and I
completed my search for my birth mother
When I initiated my search in
1991, I became involved with a search and support group in the
In late 1994, with the
support and encouragement from once again,
In 1998 when word had reached
In 2000 Adoption Forum was
saddened to learn that Abigail had decided to not continue in the capacity as
President when her term was completed and from 2000-2002 I was elected the
President of Adoption Forum. My term as
President was up this year and I have chosen to not continue in the capacity of
President of Adoption Forum but instead focus on assisting individuals in the
search process and since August PARR has had 5 reunions.
In November 2001, I decided
it was time to find my birth father so I was on a mission. Since my birth father is listed as unknown,
and no one living knows who he is I started to contact people who knew my birth
mother. In March 2002, I found a
gentleman, who more than one person thought could be my birth father. Unfortunately, he passed away
In the two years, I was
President of Adoption Forum; unfortunately, PARR was one of the things that
were neglected. When I started to focus
once again on PARR, that is when this web site was born and the rest is
history.
Today, I maintain PARR,
provide search assistance, and do research pertaining to adoption searches, and
present workshops. I also enjoy writing
and have wrote several articles through the years with the goal and hope that
anyone who reads them finds the help, support, and encouragement we all so very
much need.
Today is the nine year
anniversary of finding my birth mother deceased and I want to dedicate this
section to a few very important people in my life who have been there the past
9 years providing love, support, and encouragement. It is because they loved me that I am who I
am.
The first is my Mom and Dad. They took me into their home when I was four
days old and loved me from the first second they laid their eyes on me and have
loved me ever since. They have taught me
what the definition of unconditional love is and I am forever grateful for
everything they have done in my name for the past 32 years.
The second person is my birth
mother, Peggy. I never knew who she was
until 9 years ago and even then I never had the chance to get to know the
person she was. It was her life and her
death that has helped shape the person I am.
On a final note, which it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t mention the love of my life. He has stuck by my side through thick and thin for the past three years and I love him with all my heart! He has also provided me with unconditional love in good and bad times as well as the moments that my own adoption issues have gotten the best of me. He is strong for me when I am weak. His name is Snickers and is my 3 year old Golden Retriever.
If you would like to know more about me, read
any of my articles, or have me speak at your event or conference please
email me
for further information.
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