Happy Birthday!

Today is my son's 11th birthday. I can hardly believe that it has been eleven years since the incredible day that he was born. What a life-changing experience it was! One minute, I was just a regular guy, with an expectant wife. A minute later, I was a dad. Nothing could have prepared me for the impact of that one event. No amount of thinking, studying, listening to other fathers - nothing - could have prepared me to fully understand how that one experience would impact me.

Before my son was born, I really had no understanding of how important families are, of how precious children are to their parents. I thought I understood it. I knew the right words. I nodded in agreement when someone expressed how important their kids were to them. I knew it, but I didn't feel it. My knowledge was shallow; I didn't really understand.

That all changed when my son was born.

Right after the delivery, my wife was exhausted from her long labor, so the nurses took our new son down to the nursery. I went down with them and just stood and looked at him for over half an hour, marveling at him and the miracle that had just occurred. During those first moments of his life, I was changed completely.

For the first time in my life, I truly understood, deeply, that another life was far more important than my own. I'd willingly lay down my life to save my son's. There's no question about it. I'd face any odds to allow him to live, if the circumstances should demand it.

Don't get me wrong - I love my wife. I'd fight to the death for her. But, my wife is an adult. She's able to care for herself in most situations. I don't have to physically defend her, except in the most dire circumstances - circumstances that aren't really very likely to ever occur. My baby son, on the other hand, was completely dependent on me for his entire life - not just for physical defense, but also for food, shelter, clothing, guidance and love. During those first moments with my son, the seriousness of the responsibility that God had placed in my hands became clear to me. I think at that moment I truly became a man, instead of being just an overgrown kid.

I think I'm a much better person for having had the blessing of being a dad for the past eleven years.

It isn't always easy. I get frustrated and angry with my son sometimes. I'd like him to take better advantage of the gifts he has, to work harder at his schoolwork, to have better manners and to be more sociable. I have to remind myself that he's still just a kid, that he won't be perfect (I'm sure not!). I try to strike a balance between discipline and freedom, between tolerance for mistakes and correction for inattention and laziness. From my son's point of view, I'm sure he thinks that I'm a tyrant, because I don't let him do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. From my point of view, I'm really not all that tough (compared to my own father, for sure!), and I have a responsibility to truly love him, by seeing to it that he's raised in such a way that he is able to be a successful, happy adult. That means seeing to it that he does his schoolwork, is polite and respectful to other people, and so on. He doesn't have to like those things, but he does have to do them, until he is mature enough to understand that they are for his own benefit and will do them without my intervention. At times, he thinks I'm mean because I impose rules on him that he doesn't like. I think that I'd really be cruel if I didn't. Just about the worst thing a parent can do for their child is to teach them no values, no discipline, no respect for others, no faith in or love for God.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
            "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
                 and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
             because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
                 and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. [Hebrews 12:1-11] © Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
 

For eleven years now, my son and I have been learning from each other. I pray that God will watch over him and keep him, will bless him with health and happiness, will wrap His loving arms around my son and let him know how much He loves him. I also pray that God will allow me to enjoy and love my son for many more years, and that I will be allowed to watch him grow to be a man of God with his own family to care for.

Happy birthday, buddy!

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