Wes's Cool Quotes

• "Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Mark Twain
• "When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross." - Sinclair Lewis
• "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - Benjamin Franklin
• "Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full. I say, are you going to drink that?" - Lisa Claymen
• "You should not confuse your career with your life." - Dave Barry
• "Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." - Dave Barry
• "People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them." - Dave Barry
• "People who close their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction." - James Baldwin
• "All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity; strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it."
  - Mark Twain in "The Private History of the Campaign That Failed"
• "We do know of certain knowledge that he [Osama Bin Laden] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead." - Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld
• "I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon." - Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the United States
• "We do many things at the federal level that would be considered dishonest and illegal if done in the private sector." - Donald T. Regan, President Reagan's Chief of Staff
• "If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one?" - Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States
• "I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators." - Gerald R. Ford, 38th President of the United States
• "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people could change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead
• "For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness." - Author Unknown
• "Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic." - Dan Rather, CBS News Anchor
• "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." - John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the United States
• "A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." - William Shedd
• "I use not only the brains I have, but all I can borrow." - Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States
• "The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from." - Andrew S. Tanenbaum
• "The U.S. budget is out of control," the investment bank Goldman, Sachs & Co. wrote its clients, projecting large deficits for the next decade. "Any thoughts of relief thereafter are a pipe dream until political priorities adjust."
• "Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare" - Japanese Proverb
• "One of the principles that we operate on in this country is that leaders are held accountable. The simple truth is that we went into Iraq on the basis of some intuition, some fear, and some exaggerated rhetoric and some very, very scanty evidence." - Four-star General Wesley Clark, 2004 Presidential Candidate
• "I do believe the [Democratic] party has moved far to the right. I do believe that the party has a bunch of elephants running around in donkey clothes." - Al Sharpton, 2004 Presidential Candidate
• "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching." - Mark Twain
• "War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today." - John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the United States
• "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done." - Andy Rooney, humorist
• "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." - Bill Watterson, cartoonist
• "From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened you discover that you have wings." - Helen Hayes, Academy Award winnin actress
• "The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy." - Florence Scovel
• "Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation." - Howard Scott
• "I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." - Jackie Mason, comedian
• "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you!" - Carly Simon in the song "You're So Vain", rumoured to be about ex-boyfriend Warren Beatty
• "I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." - Albert Einstein
• "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." - Albert Einstein
• "Concern for man himself and his fate must form the chief interest for all technical endeavors. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations." - Albert Einstein
• "To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate has made me an authority myself." - Albert Einstein
• "Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else" - Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States
• "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill
• "I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting." - Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the United States
• "Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans-born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage-and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this Nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world." - John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the United States
• "Democracy is based on the conviction that man has the moral and intellectual capacity, as well as the inalienable right, to govern himself with reason and justice…" - Harry S. Truman, 33rd President of the United States
• "About the time we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends." - Herbert Hoover, 31st President of the United States
• "There is such a thing as a nation being so right that is does not need to convince others by force that it is right." - Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States
• "Unlike any other nation, here the people rule, and their will is the supreme law." - William McKinley, 25th President of the Unites States
• "He serves his party best who serves the country best." - Rutherford B. Hayes, 19th President of the United States
• "Our government sprang from and was made for the people-not the people for the government. To them it owes an allegiance; from them it must derive its courage, strength, and wisdom." - Andrew Johnson, 17th President of the United States
• "The world has never had a good definition of the word liberty, and the American people, just now, are much in want of one." - Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States
• "The rights which belong to us as a nation are not alone to be regarded, but those which pertain to every citizen in his individual capacity, at home and abroad, must be sacredly maintained." - Franklin Pierce, 14th President of the United States
• "It is not strange…to mistake change for progress." - Millard Fillmore, 13th President of the United States
• "For more than half a century, during which kingdoms and empires have fallen this Union has stood unshaken. The patriots who formed it have long since descended to the grave; yet still it remains, the proudest monument to their memory." - Zachary Taylor, 12th President of the United States
• "Peace with all the world is the true foundation of our policy, which can only be rendered permanent of equal and impartial justice to all." - John Tyler, 10th President of the United States
• "The people are the best guardians of their own rights and it is the duty of their executive to abstain from interfering in or thwarting the sacred exercise of the lawmaking functions of their government." - William Harrison, 9th President of the United States
• "There is a power in public opinion in this country-and I thank God for it: for it is the most honest and best of all powers." - Martin Van Buren, 8th President of the United States
• "There are no necessary evils in government. Its evils exist only in its abuses." - Andrew Jackson, 7th President of the United States
• "Surely our government may get on and prosper without the existence of parties. I have always considered their existence as the curse of the country." - James Monroe, 5th President of the United States (a Democratic-Republican)
• "Knowledge will forever govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own Governors, must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives." - James Madison, 4th President of the United States
• "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." - Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States
• "Always look out for Number One and be careful not to step in Number Two." - Rodney Dangerfield
• "Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger." - Elmer G. Letterman
• "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund." - F.J. Raymond, Humorist
• "This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. This is what you do when you run for president. You've got to preserve." - Republican Presidential Candidate George W. Bush, speaking at an elementary school in Nashua during the school's Perseverence Month
• "Is your children learning?" - Declared the most important question to ask, by Republican Presidential Candidate George W. Bush, while speaking about his educational policy
• "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there." - Republican Presidential Candidate George W. Bush, speaking on how he grew up during the height of the Cold War
• "I love cats ... they taste just like chicken" - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." -  Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Cover me. I'm changing lanes." -  Seen on a bumper sticker
• "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools" - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...Not  screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car ..." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "I took an IQ test and the results were negative." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "When there's a will, I want to be in it!" -  Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!" - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "He/She who laughs last thinks slowest." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."- Seen on a bumper sticker
• "We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home." - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?" - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?" - Seen on a bumper sticker
• "Every new beginning is some other beginning's end." - Semisonic in the song "Closing Time"
• "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." - Woody Allen
• "A stumble may prevent a fall." - English proverb
• "If you want to truly understand something, try to change it." - Kurt Lewis
• "A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition." - William Arthur Ward
• "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." - Mae West
• "The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable." - Paul Dean
• "Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you." - Elbert Hubbard
• "It's hard to detect good luck - it looks so much like something you've earned." - Fred A. Clark
• "A man's greatest strength develops at the point where he overcomes his greatest weakness." - Elmer G. Letterman
• "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." - Joan Rivers
• "I never learn anything talking. I only learn things when I ask questions." - Lou Holtz
• "If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done." - Michael S. Traylor
• "Knowledge is gained by learning; trust by doubt; skill by practice; and love by love." - Thomas Szasz
• "Budget: A mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." - A. A. Latimer
• "If you want to test your memory, try to remember what you were worrying about one year ago today." - E. Joseph Cossman
• "The reputation of a thousand years may be determined by the conduct of one hour." - Japanese proverb
• "Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom." - General George Patton
• "Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other." - Laurence J. Peter
• "Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures." - H. Jackson Brown Jr.
• "Without music, life is a journey through a desert." - Pat Conroy
• "Wealth is something you acquire so you can share it, not keep it." - LaDonna Harris
• "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect." - Sam Ewing
• "I wear my wife's eyeglasses because she wants me to see things her way." - Jayson Feinburg
• "Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink." - Unknown
• "To get something done a committee should consist of no more than three people, two of whom are absent." - Robert Copeland
• "All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening." - Alexander Woolcott
• "Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious." - B. C. Forbes
• "Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue." - Roger C. Anderson
• "Everything comes to those who hustle while HE waits." - Thomas A. Edison
• "There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to see, yet small enough to solve." - Mike Leavitt
• "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." - Robert Frost
• "I wash everything on the gentle cycle. It's much more humane." - Unknown
• "If you see a bandwagon, it's too late." - Sir James Goldsmith
• "A new poll showed that if the election was held today, people would be confused because it's usually held in November." - Kevin Nealon, Saturday Night Live
• "Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first." - Ronald Reagan
• "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind." - Albert Einstein
• "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "In two words: impossible." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "Include me out." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "I'll give you a definite maybe." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "Coffee isn't my cup of tea." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "Television has raised the art of writing to a new low." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "All the lies they tell about me are true." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "They are always biting the hand that lays the golden eggs." - Samuel Goldwyn
• "The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest to let them." - Robert Frost
• "The only place where success comes before work is a dictionary." - Vidal Sassoon
• "A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle." - U2's Bono in the song "Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World"
• "They say hard work never hurt anybody, but I figure why take the chance." - Ronald Reagan
• "It is a terrible thing to lose one's mind." - Dan Quayle
• "You can get more with a kind word and a 2x4 then you can with just a kind word." - Marcus Cole, Babylon 5
• "Square meals often make round people." - E. Joseph Cossman
• "Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke." - Will Rogers
• "It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." - June Henderson in Nashville Banner
• "A person all wrapped up in himself generally makes a pretty small package." - E. Joseph Cossman
• "A skeptic is a person who, when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it's a forgery." - Morris Bender
• "The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form." - Stanley J. Randall
• "If you're yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning." - Griff Niblack in Indianapolis News
• "To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have." - Ken S. Keyes Jr.
• "Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it." - Kim Hubbard
• "Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed." - E. L. in The AA Grapevine
• "Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm." - Publilius Syrus
• "The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." - Chinese Proverb
• "We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice." - Jack Herbert
• "Looks are so deceptive that people should be done up like food packages with the ingredients clearly labled." - Helen Hudson
• "Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble." - Dennis Fakes
• "If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble." - Bob Hope

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