Portland Santacon I 2007 - 12/8/07

Portland Cacophony Official Site

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Multiple Santas took these photos including Santa Saint Cheese, Santa Curt, Fluffer Santa, Santa Kupcakes, National Geo Santa, and Santa Yankee Pants:

  • Santa went to play indoor mini golf
  • Santa went to the church of scientology
  • Santa went to Mayor Potter's house to sing carols
  • Santa went to the scary bathrooms across from Cabaret and filled one up, then screamed for help. When help arrived they claimed they got lost in there and could not find the door. Help was a cop. The cop was amused.
  • Santa went to the hospital to sing carols to the emergency room, but nobody seems to know if they pulled it off.
  • Santa went to forrest park to frolic in the woods
  • Did anyone get a picture of Santa's getting arrested by 5th/6th and Couch? They took me off in the CHIERS van--that'd be a lovely christmas card for the family. Lame, though, I just asked a cop what the square-root of 36 was...
  • hmmm... I got two pictures of two different guys getting arrested. Not sure of the exact location on either, but they were both taken close to there. One was of a guy in a Santa outfit with his hands spread on the hood of the car and Ms Claus watching. The other was a guy with a white tutu on and a Santa hat. Maybe it was just a red hat. Is either of these you?
  • Santi aboard the Santa Short Bus P.A.V. (Party Assault Vehicle) santa-napped a wandering Santa No-Pants and took him on a joyride across the willy River. They promptly returned him to his domicile when he claimed to receive a booty call. Santa then tried to raid Burgerville, but they were closed and the Short Bus bus wouldn't fit in the drive thru. Santa went to the Legacy Mt. Tabor to dance to Jesus Presley (Santa got in FREE), some did a lapdance for "Bad Santa", some just kissed the bartender.
  • If you have fun at Santacon, go to Santacon.
  • There was a Brist held for the Easter Bunny upstairs at the Greek place. We couldn't find the Pope so a fellow bunny did the trimming! Mazeltov! During the party some Christians and Pagans were taught to play dreidel and promptly lost all of their candy canes to Satan.
  • santa asked santa what santa's santa name was. i said, "santa." santa said, "so, your santa name is 'santa santa'?" i said, "no. my santa name is santa, santa."
  • Santa is happiness to me. Santa spreads joy.
  • I seem to have picked up a problem Saturday, with no warning I am busting out chuckling. Maybe it's the memory of the mousy little security guard desparately asking "I need to speak to the organizers of this! - who's the organizer of this?" as Santa used his building as a turnstile for counting purposes. Clinging to the hope that somehow he could regain control. Santa Furball was counting "681, 682, you are 683! 684..." as I went out.
  • Comment overheard on SantaFull MAX line...Mother talking to 5 year old child "Do you rmember all the Santas we saw last year?" Kids reply "I keep trying to forget."
  • I don't know how many of you saw me wearing the polar bear head at santacon - but I believe it was stolen from me.
  • The press is lurking or are members of the cacophony society and have been for quite some time.
  • Much like the event in the desert every September Santa has indeed "jumped the shark".
  • Well, I've heard some rumors that I was in teh drunk tank last night, but not so, apparently some jerk of a Santa slipped me something I wasn't wanting or expecting, causing a number of problems for me. (For those that have seen me just drunk in other situations, you'd know that I can get all sorts of silly and offensive, but stay energized and walking...) However, I recall another Santa helping me get a cab. I woke up today snug in my own bed, and strangely still posessing my phone, wallet, keys, bike lights...the only thing of value I lost was a flask that I found at Thunderdome at Black Rock City last year anyway. In my pocket, I did find a $20 bill and my address in someone else's writing, so my recollection of the helper Santa at the Roxy must have come true (apparently, I paid for the cab out of my own money or something.) Thank you, whoever you are!
  • i think i fell somewhere.
  • I do monitor your posts and hope to see a glimmer of originality someday (soon).
  • The next level of evolution for santa. . . I see five-dicked beastly creatures with no sense of smell and a thick coating of insulating fur roaming unchecked across the valley preying on weaker species. Omnivorous by nature with vaguely simian features mutated through generation after generation of venerial disease-ridden hasty and unplanned mating in alleyways. These creatures will have a high tolerance bordering on total immunity for any form of intoxcating substance, very poor vision and no gag reflex. Gestation for new generations of Santii will be just shy of 12 months, with the young staggering on their own shortly after birth just like various bovine creatures. The species will evolve to be born with gray hair so as to not need photo ID. Still mamillian, the mothers will breastfeed their offspring, but the milk will be about 70 proof and competition among Santas will lead to weaker offspring not getting nourishment as Santas ranging from age 1 to 22 will be competing for the breasts. Average lifespan will be dialed back from the mid-70s to something about . . . age 22.
  • Santas went to Mary's anyway cause it's tradition dammit.
  • santa has been banned from Spartacus for over 4 years
  • Since I moved up here I haven't heard of a single new event that was actually done. How mundane is that for you.......
  • Hanukkah Harry's blue-and-white Santa cell led an operation that Mossad would envy! Menorah topped vehicles parading through the Pearl abducted Santa along the way. In an undisclosed location, Santa danced the Hora while passing the Manischevitz bottle and noshing on latkas and rugelah till dawn. The dreidel wasn't the only thing that was spinning, I tell you what!
  • Santa made it to the 3rd floor of Nordstoms before security escorted a few santas to the door
  • The security guard we encountered was actually the coolest I can recall during a Santa outing. He was an older guy and simply requested that the blow-up doll be lowered from the author's shoulders for safety reasons. Then, with a twinkle in his eye, he said, "Remember rule number three." Classy!
  • Santa got kicked out of bars for not paying cover and drinking from his "hidden" camel pack.
  • Should we retire Santacon?
  • Santa has a life of its own.
  • Santa can get away with fucking anything Email Santa Saint Cheese: sfritz2994@aol.com