June 6, 2000

Rapid City to Helena, MT: The Massage

Starting odometer = 2438

Distance = 635 miles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wyoming: Where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous.

The rest of Eastern Wyoming proves to be rather barren and desolate. The landscape is dry with little vegetation; it makes South Dakota look like civilization. Several exits on I-90 are dirt roads. I hit my first cell phone "No Service" areas. I begin to feel uncomfortable... the effects of 2500+ miles in less than 5 days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The scenery improves as I approach Montana. The Big Horn Mountains loom to the west.

 

First stop Devil's Tower. A little smaller than I had imagined, but interesting nonetheless.

 

 

 

Montana: Jeckll and Hyde

Sidebar -- Before we get into Montana, let's discuss a hypothetical situation... You are about to be intimate with your woman (insert perfect woman image here) for the first time. You've been dating for a while, but, for one reason or another, have resisted the urges. You have fantasized about this moment for weeks. Your innards have been fluttering all day. The anticipation is strong enough to taste. You have just returned to your place after a perfect date... dinner, conversation, playful banter, flirting. Heavy petting ensues. You retire to the bedroom, where it continues. Tonight is the night. She pulls back and begins to take off her sweater. Slowly, slowly, the garment rises. She lifts her arms to draw the sweater over her head... and...

BAM!!!!

A five inch thatch of armpit hair hits you right in the face!

The rest of the night goes off without a hitch. Perfectly, even. Deep down, though, you know it's there. It's not ruined, but something has changed. You don't look at her exactly the same way. Well, Montana has armpit hair... and its name is Billings.

Unfortunately, these pictures do not do justice to exactly how ugly Billings is. I did not even think to take pictures until I was nearly outside the city limits. Billings literally looks like North Jersey (just above Newark Airport). Industry, road construction, strip malls, power lines, and train tracks abound here. It is possible -- though highly unlikely -- that my perception of Billings was affected by my growing discomfort.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The rest of Montana is unbelievably beautiful, and a wonderful contrast to the Newark of Montana. Certainly the best terrain of the South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana triumverate. The plains are greener. The mountains are taller. The trees are more plentiful.

 

 

 

Some of the wonderful scenery in Montana. One thing not evident in these pictures... there is MONEY here. There is a definite change in the size and quality of the houses here compared to the other states I've travelled through. In the other states, most large land tracts are farms with farmhouses. In Montana, many of the tracts are pristine, unmolested land.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roughly around Livingston, MT, the tightness in my back, hamstrings, and neck demanded immediate attention. Joan, a Certified Massage Therapist of Bozeman, MT, was kind enough to fit me in on 30 minutes notice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow, Glacier National Park!