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Copyright © 2008 by Zack Smith,
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Once there was a man who tended to fart. Among the rich, among the poor, he just let loose. Among the young who giggled and "ewww"'ed, among the old who quietly sympathized, he was a major methane producer.

One day, he decided to invade another country with his "Farting Squad of Amazing Gas Fiends." (FSAGF) After the local yokels had been subdued by this gang, a resistance effort began in ernest. For, all who had not been killed in the invasion were now encumbered by the stink.

"We're here to deliver democracy" said the man, who was grand leader of the fart squad. "Please leave," exclaimed a local, who was quickly tasered and pummeled. Story of Flatulence locals formed a band of subversives who realized the only way to repel the stinky invaders was to beat them at their own game.

They dug holes near roads and installed road-side fart-bombs, also called IEFs for "improvised explosive farts." These consisted of bags of natural gas (methane, which has no odor) and various stinky smells derived from cow manure and underarm sweat, soiled underpants, soiled pants, soil-loving ants (in pate form), and the tears of lonely kittens whose little girl owners had abandoned them in favor of Britney.

Story of Flatulence insurgents had a successful first season. Over 3000 of the fart squad's numbers were quickly destroyed by the methane explosions, and many others were driven away by the smells. Story of Flatulence invaders had come on horseback, primarily because the horses were themselves amazing fart and dung producers. Now however, even the horses fled, leaving their riders surrounded and attacked by angry stray cats at all hours.

When finally the wagon train that had supported the invaders and contained all food storage was attacked by carrot-wielding farm animals, the FSAGF was no more. Their men were reduced to begging for edibles, and had to eat their own shoes.

"Let us escape while we can," their fart-leader was heard to say, as he schlepped back barefoot, his ass fwernting and piffing with every heavy step.

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