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The worst pick-up lines

Are you Natasha, my contact?
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
Baby, I'm an American Express lover. You shouldn't go home without me.
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
Can I flirt with you?
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
Can you catch? I think I'm falling for you
Can you help me up? My dick is too big.
Damn, I thought 'very-fine' only came in a bottle!
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
Do you have a map? (She says: No, why?) Because I keep getting lost in your eyes
Do you have any Irish/German/Spanish/Italian/etc. in you? (She says: No) Want some?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (She says: No) Wanna go upstairs and talk?
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
Do you want to see something swell?
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
Excuse me miss, but I've always wanted to date a supermodel
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Extra romantic lines to pick up hot chicks
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?
Get it? Rushing and Roaming?
Give a rose to her and say: I wanted to show this rose how beautiful you are
Good day for weather.
Got two nipples for a dime?
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
Haa haa
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
Hey, somebody just farted - let's get out of here!
Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
Hi, I'm Bill Clinton, but you can call me Bubba!
Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Hi, how do you feel today? (She says: Fine) I asked how you felt, not how you look!
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
Hi, my name is ___. Remember it, because you'll be screaming it all night long.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!
How about you and me have a party - and invite your pants down
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you want me...
I couldn't help but notice I was staring at you . . .
I hang out here to avoid the pressures of being a Kennedy
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.
I just shit into my pants. Can I get into yours?
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN...How much have you been drinking?
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
I must have died and gone to Heaven, because I am seeing an angel!
I think you and I should dipthong.
I was about to go masturbate and I need a name to go with your face.
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
I'm a fertility god in some underdeveloped nations
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
I'm gay, straighten me out!
I'm joining the priesthood tomorrow
I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your apartment?
I'm writing a phone book, can I have your number?
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together
If I follow you home, will you keep me?
If I gave you negligée for your birthday, would there be anything in it for me?
If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? NO!! Dirty cock sucker!
If I told you I was gay, would you let me touch you?
If I told you you had a beautiful body/chest, would you hold it against me?
If I were you, I'd have sex with me
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning
If my pillow had a hole in it, I would name it after you.
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib
If water were beauty you'd be an ocean
If you spot her waiting in a restaurant/theater/club: If he doesn't show up, I'll be right over here
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick.
If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you
If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
If you were the last woman and I were the last man on earth, we could do it in public.
Instead, they had to hear that.
Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
Is there a rainbow here? Because you're the treasure I've been searching for
Is your last name Gillette? Because you're best a man can get!
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
Let's get drunk and take advantage of each other. Or, I could get drunk and you could just take advantage of me. OR, you can stay here and get drunk and I can go home and take advantage of myself. Either way, it's up to you.
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
My name is Elmer J. Fudd. I own a mansion and a yacht.
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
My roommate's a sound sleeper!
Nice legs...what time do they open?
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
One way or another I'm going to make love to you tonight but I'd rather you be there.
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to send that money, and walk away.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
So are you going to give me your phone number or am I going to have to stalk you?
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
So, you're a girl huh?
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
Stand still so I can pick you up!
Take me drunk, I'm home!
That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.
The doctor said I broke the record for the world's most powerful penis. Do you want to see me work my magic?
The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue
The last time I saw you, I was dreaming
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, shit, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
What good is inheriting 2.7 million dollars when you have a weak heart?
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
Would you fuck me if I was going to die soon? Well, I've got a bomb in my pants.
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e.
You do to my mind what White Castle does to my bowels; just runnin' all day.
You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
You know I'd really like to fuck your brains out but it appears someone beat me to it.
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look bad
You like Pop Tarts? Because that's what we're having for breakfast tomorrow.
You look a lot like my next girlfriend
You look like my World of Warcraft character. Want to go back to my place and do some PvP (player vs. player)?
You make my software turn to hardware!
You must be a library book 'cause I've been checking you out
You must be a parking ticket, cause you got fine written all over you
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
You must be high jumper, because you make my bar rise
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
You remind me of a compass, because I'd be lost without you.
You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute
You're so beautiful, I can't believe God didn't keep you for himself
You're so hot, you melt the plastic in my underwear.
You're so hot, when I look at you I get a tan
You're so hot, you must be real reason for global warming
You're so hot, your ass is on fire.
You're the one I've been saving this seat for
You've got 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns
Your daddy must have been a terrorist, because you are the bomb!
Your feet must be tired -- 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
Your name must be Visa, because your body is everywhere I want to be
Your name must be Windex, because I can see myself in you
Your parents must be retarded, because you're special
[Grab her tush] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

The worst pick-up lines

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