| 4500+ Great Links | My review of the film Clerks |
| Copyright © 2008 by Zack T Smith All rights reserved.
Acting: * Clerks is an independent film that I saw originally many years ago, during the 1990's when indie films were popular. Back then, Hollywood was such a toxic cultural force in America and the world that almost anything that was not made Hollywood automatically had a stamp of authenticness on it. A non-Hollywood film was the "real" world in a country where the the culture had for so many years been defined by crass commercialism, media mergers and an ever-narrowing opening for new filmmakers to take part in the conversation. What subsequently happened was that the major studios realized they were overly complacent and so they bought up all the independent filmmakers and many indie theaters. This was not all bad. However now that the sheen of authenticity has worn off, movies that suffer from bad acting, bad scripts, bad story ideas and other major flaws are no longer redeemed merely by being independent. Sorry, but it's true. Clerks always was and remains a crap movie. I loved it when it came out, because it was made by real people and not some huge corporate machine. Time however affords perspective, and allows me to reappraise the situation. That movie really sucks. The acting is atrocious, the dialog seems like it was written by a 12-year-old, and nothing about the story is compelling. If you want me to change my opinion, it will require bribery with more turkey jerkey than you can afford. Alternate plot: Tuxedo ClerksAct 1Scene 1 Interior: Food mart. One young chap in tuxedo is standing behind the counter. Another young chap in tuxedo enters. Wilcoxwaite: (entering) I say, Jacobson, good day to you. Jaconson: Greetings, Wilcoxwaite? How goes the day with you? W: It's that girlfriend of mine. Do you think she's quite normal? She is acting strange of late. J: Why, no, now that you mention her. I do not think she's quite right in her ways. Listen, Wilcoxwaite, you know as well as I, she's just a bag of bones. Why don't you dump her? W: Whatever for, old boy? J: Well, quite franky, my friend, she is always riding on top of some chap or another. What she lacks in grace she makes up for in sluttiness, I think one can fairly say. W: Surely this cannot be! I veritably do trust her. I do. I believe her kindness is sincere. She's like an Anglican nun, but in a bikini. J: I'll have none of such talk, for my part. I have seen her bouncing from fellow to fellow, many a time. W: Nuts to that. This could never be so. (distracted) Oh look, you have the new turkey jerkey. I'll purchase a stick... Anyhow, she's quite the lass, I tell you. Her tennis swing is brilliant. Simply brilliant! J: Yes, and she swings with the boys and girls, I shall confide in you presently. W: Never ever! Oh, (chewing) what wonderful turkey. Et cetera. Links
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