|60°||16°||Californians put on their mink coats.|
|50°||10°||Miami residents turn on the heat.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
|45°||7°||Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
Californians weep pitiably.
|40°||4°||You can see your breath.
Minnesotans go swimming.
|35°||2°||Italians cars don't start.|
|30°||-1°||You plan your vacation in Australia.|
|25°||-4°||Ohio water freezes.
Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming.
|20°||-7°||Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation farther south.
|15°||-9°||French cars don't start.
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
|10°||-12°||You need jumper cables to get the car going.|
|5°||-15°||American cars don't start.|
|0°||-18°||Alaskans put on T-shirts.|
|-10°||-23°||German cars don't start
Eyes freeze shut when you step outside.
|-15°||-26°||You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.
|-20°||-29°||Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
Japanese cars don't start.
|-25°||-32°||Too cold to think.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
|-30°||-34°||You plan a two week hot bath.
Swedish cars don't start.
|-40°||-40°||Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweater.
Your car helps you plan your trip South.
|-50°||-46°||Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.
|-80°||-62°||Polar bears move South.
Green Bay Packer (and Buffalo Bills) fans order hot cocoa at the game.
|-90°||-68°||Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.|
|-100°||-73°||Hell freezes over.
Republicans finally tell the truth about Iran Contra.