A Scale of Air Temperatures

Like the Beaufort Wind Scale

Air Temperatures

Fahrenheit Celsius Observations
60° 16° Californians put on their mink coats.
50° 10° Miami residents turn on the heat.
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
45° Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
Californians weep pitiably.
40° You can see your breath.
Californians disappear.
Minnesotans go swimming.
35° Italians cars don't start.
32° Water freezes.
30° -1° You plan your vacation in Australia.
25° -4° Ohio water freezes.
Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming.
20° -7° Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation farther south.
15° -9° French cars don't start.
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10° -12° You need jumper cables to get the car going.
-15° American cars don't start.
-18° Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10° -23° German cars don't start
Eyes freeze shut when you step outside.
-15° -26° You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects.
Miami residents cease to exist.
-20° -29° Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
Japanese cars don't start.
-25° -32° Too cold to think.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30° -34° You plan a two week hot bath.
Swedish cars don't start.
-40° -40° Minnesotans button top button.
Canadians put on sweater.
Your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50° -46° Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80° -62° Polar bears move South.
Green Bay Packer (and Buffalo Bills) fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90° -68° Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100° -73° Hell freezes over.
Republicans finally tell the truth about Iran Contra.

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By: Peter W. Meek
Net-sig: --Pete <pwmeek@comcast.net>
Send e-mail: pwmeek@comcast.net