And so, without further ado, I present.....
Henry-isms
"I don't want it to hurt, I want to die."
"Son of a motherless pig!"
"I am no longer trying to do a good show. I just want to have a fun day."
"Damnit to hell, Jim!"
"The competence is now overflowing in this room."
"Did you happen to notice that Joanne is dressed like Johnny Appleseed today? She actually changed her name to 'Osh Kosh'."
"If they won't go into the gate, just shoot 'em."
"He won't turn... shoot him!"
"That's the problem with kids today - they're not getting hit enough."
"They're not lies; they're just not the truth."
"You're sucking the life outta me!"
"You hammer!"
"Thanks for coming today."
"Ya hooker!"
"I get no credit for being a nice guy, do I?"
"Splendiforous!"
"I would take it from Rick [Springfield] anytime."
"All I know is that we do not accept the F-bomb on channel 2."
"I don't like Docs. They look too much like cop shoes."
"Nothing would make me happier than breaking my leg off in that broad's ass." (mother-in-law)
"Your mother-in-law's moustache!"
"You bitched like a little girl last night!"
"Look - I refuse to throw or catch circular saw blades tonight."
"She is an absolute son-of-a-bitching whore. She is an asshole. She hates me. Actually, I'd care to introduce her foot to my ass." (mother-in-law again)
"Thank *you*, Mr. Pissy."
"I've lost all vigor for the show this evening."
"The way I look at it: You are only as good as your host, and you suck, so......"
"If I was a woman, I would be getting laid evey chance I got. I'd be out there every day, every night."
"No way is right, but Chuck's way is wrong."
"I hate 'channel one love'. I don't agree with it, I don't understand it."
"My god, Vince, you are good. Well, actually, we make you good."
"There's only two reasons to have women: typing and kids."
"The life is being sucked out of my person tonight."
"Number One: I don't listen to women. Number Two: I don't listen to CG people. And you're both, so I don't listen to you at all."
"I have plenty of Ying, but absolutely no Yang. None whatsoever!"
"I hate Canadiens. They're a waste of time."
"We have no flow. Right now we are missing flow."
"We have more flow than a dam that's been opened up."
"I'm feeling something run by my feet. It must be flow!"
"That was flow - that was like the water rushing out of my mattress and onto my feet."
"It's all about driving ahead. It's pre-driving."
"This is the 'Rob and Sean Time-Bending Show'."
"I'm actually trying to turn over a new leaf with Joanne. I'm trying to be nice to her."
"It's a bearded Spock kind of night."
E-mail:quinntv@comcast.net