West Coast Jeff: Episode 22

"Ripoff!"; February 14, 2003

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

To celebrate, I've decided to shove two recycled WCJ bits from the
past down your greedy little throats!

First, for those of you having trouble finding someone to love on
Valentine's Day, head to your local watering hole and try out
these great pickup lines Chafing Amy and I came up with in
WCJ Episode #14:

Wasn't I in your dreams last night? Cuz my legs sure are tired.
Is your shirt on the floor? Cuz I think it should be.
Do I come here often? Cuz I have amnesia.
Did your mom fall from the sky? Cuz you look like you did.
Is your father a thief? Cuz I think he did time with my father.
If I could rearrange the alphabet. . .that would be totally cool.
Do you know what your vagina tastes like? Do you want me to tell
you?
What's your sign? Mine is "Watch for Falling Cocks."
Did someone hit you with ugly? Cuz they should have.
Are you wearing my pants? Cuz I'm not.
Haven't I seen you somewhere before? Like the bushes outside your house?
Your legs must be tired from me running them over with your wheelchair.
What's that in your eye? Oh, it's my tongue.
Was your mother beautiful? Cuz at least one of your parents was BUTT ugly!
The gods must have taken the moon from the sky and shoved it up your ass. DAMN!
What's a nice guy like me not doing in your thighs?
I am kinda like Lucky Charms, except I'm Vaginally delicious.
What's the name of your perfume? ShitRag?
Heaven called. They hate you.
Is there room for another asshole in your pants?
Do you have a quarter? Cuz I need a quarter.

And, of course, for those of you lucky enough to have found true love this year. . .or at least found someone crazy enough to touch you in your happy area, you'll want to treat them to some of these Valentine's Day Hearts that Spider-Dan and Kevin Kibelstis (of Kevin's Korner fame!) helped me bake last Valentine's Day during WCJ's 16th installment: "The Love Issue." Check them out at http://www.pond.com/~uhjeff/vd.html .

And one last thing:
For the LOVE of God. . .PLEASE put this F'ing contest out of its F'ing misery and vote on the F'ing name of my F'ing tattoo: http://www.pond.com/~uhjeff/finalists.html

February Sweeps edition comes out soon! Lots of BIG news...including an all-new Celebrity Feud and the name of my F'ing tattoo!

Happy Valentine's Day, you fucks!! OKBYE!

--Jeff (UHJeff@WestCoastJeff.com)
visit us at www.westcoastjeff.com !

E-mail:ExecProducer@westcoastjeff.com