Bud approached a very beautiful woman in the North Fort Myers Walmart and said,

"I've lost my wife here in the Wal-Mart Super Center. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled.. "Why talk to me?" she asked.

"Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The cop asked, "What's he like?"

The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big tits."