I suppose it’s considered unpatriotic to push the mute button when the Star
Spangled Banner is playing on television, but I have to say some versions
of it drive me to the very edge. This year's rendition at the Super Bowl approached
the all-time low.
The word "rendition," of course, is derived from "render," and one definition of
render is "to convert into fats and oils or fertilizer." Sounds close to a fit in
this case.
Normally I ignore the puffery surrounding the big game - occasionally even the game
itself. But this year, when I clicked on for a peek, something caught my attention.
This year - this superpatriotlc year - the Boston Pops came to New Orleans to do few
things, one of them involving Abe Lincoln, four living ex-presidents and Nancy Reagan.
If you missed it, you missed the Pops playing Aaron Copland’s rousing Fanfare For
The Common Man followed by excerpts from his Lincoln Portrait. You also
missed, in the verhal part of the portrait, film clips of Mrs. Reagan, Gerald Ford,
Jimmy Carter, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton reading such quotations as this:
"Lincoln was a quiet man. Abraham Lincoln was a quiet and melancholy man, but wben
he spoke of democracy this is what he said: 'As I would not be a slave, so I would not
be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.’" The Copland interlude was brief,
but moving, a glimpse of what patriotism can truly mean.
Then along came Mariah Carey. Carey was introduced as the best-selling songbird of the
day, and I guess that’s so. She’s said to be grossing $49 million in less than a year.
Maybe someone can explain to me why.
Carey took the Star Spangled Banner in her shapely little hands and twisted it
all out of shape. She wailed, she writhed, she slid and slurred somewhere around the
tune, but seldom on it.
She made hash of what's generally considered near-sacred.
Sure, as an old timer I’ve heard lots of bad music. I’ve even made some myself. As a
tot in Hiawatha, Kansas, I played in a grade school harmonica band. A few years later,
pushed by my mother, I edged gingerly toward the fine arts by taking violin lessons.
That was a big mistake. It didn’t last long, though too long. To this day I still flinch
when I hear a violinist rise up into the screech range on the E string.
I flinched plenty at Mariah Carey.
As a class, sports promoters never seem to pay much attention, one way or the other,
to the national anthem. So long as it doesn’t hurt business.
Producers of the Super Bowl show obviously didn’t pick Mariah Carey to deliver a
classical rendition. They picked her to help sell tickets and attract TV viewers.
Maybe we shouldn’t have expected more. The Super Bowl in the past has entrusted the
national anthem to the likes of Anita Bryant, Charley Pride, Cheryl Ladd, Barry Manilow,
Billy Joel, Kathie Lee Gifford, Cher, Diana Ross and the Back Street Boys - none of
them capable of dealing with the anthem’s musical challenges.
The anthem is intimidating. In the flrst place, to do it properly you need a trained,
strong voice with a wide range. The average person doesn’t have it. (Many people, including
me, think America the Beautiful might be a better national anthem, but we honor
what we have.)
In the second place, to do it properly you do it with dignity. You honor it as you honor
the flag. You sing it straight, as written, word for word, note for note - not slurred,
twisted, rocked, bopped, rapped, souled, jazzed, bluegrassed or otherwise abused.
Sixth-grade choruses could do better than many of the "stars" who sing it in sports
arenas.
Sometimes when I hear an especially dreadful rendition, I get this funny idea: I tell
myself, well, this time, at last, this righteous audience is going to say it has had
enough, it isn't going to take it any more, and it is going to rise up and boo the singer
instead of applauding. I can hope.
by Charles Roos, the Rocky Mountain News
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