I believe Gay people are born gay and lesbian. It is inherent. By this I mean, not with an awareness of "I am a lesbian", this is a societal label, but a group of people who are drawn to people of the same gender romantically. By romantic inclination I mean not only are we sexually attracted to others of the same gender, but also we are inherently inclined to bond with members of the same sex: the desire to grow old together, the feeling of spiritual completeness when you've found your mate, the comfort of your lover in times of grief, are all examples of the special type of relationship one has with ones mate.

Some people act out a particular sexual identity do to distress. Some gay people live straight lifestyles because they believe being gay is a sin. Some straight people live gay lifestyles because of some early hurt. This fact should not negate the fact that for most people their sexual identity is a biological behavioral trait, the same as being left or right handed. People feel pretty confident in their handedness and are not asked to counsel on this part of their biological makeup.

The RC policy stating that a gay identity and gay sex are distress is unfortunately acting out the age old oppression that tells us there is no such thing as a gay person, only a straight person who is "acting out lust", "had bad experiences with the opposite sex", etc. or in RC terms "acting out distress because of early hurts". The policy basically tells us what the bulk of the oppression tells us: gays do not exist. To me it seems a question of orientation vs. behavior and which one you believe to be the cause of homosexuality is based on peoples inability to be objective. "Homosexuality feels unnatural to me, therefore it must be unnatural". "I thought I was gay but I discharged, (found Jesus Christ, etc.) and now I am married to someone of the opposite sex, therefore you can do the same". "I was a repressed gay person until I was 30," therefore everyone else is harboring repressed homosexual desires".

Many people are confused in today's society about their sexual identity due to early hurts. But those that are, deserve to be counseled by someone who understands, at least, that gay people exist. Lets compare this situation to other oppressions. Can you imagine asking a person of color to counsel on some confusion around their intelligence with a white person who (consciously) thought the person of color was born less intelligent, and to top it all off the white person's agenda is to get the person of color to reevaluate and realize that they actually are less intelligent than a white person. What could be some possible results? The person of color could start to believe that they were less intelligent. The person of color could refuse to counsel on the topic in such a situation. If one person happened to be a little less smart than the average Joe, then would assumptions start being made about the whole community of colors intelligence? Isn't this what is happening with the gays in RC? They're being asked co-counsel on their confusion about sexual identity with counselors who believe there is inherently only one sexual identity; heterosexual. The counselors (at least in top echelons of leadership) have the agenda of getting gays to reevaluate and realize that a gay identity is just distress. What are the results? Some gays have come to believe they are not gay. Others who don't have the same levels of confusion around their identity are refusing to counsel in this type of setup or dropping out of RC. While still others who took a gay identity out of distress, after discovering that they are actually straight or at least bisexual are being held up as examples so that we may make assumptions about the whole gay community.

I might add to this section that although some people are confused about their sexual identity, not everyone is. For instance there are some things that most of us just know. How many parents need to do sessions on the fact that their children are inherently bad? Most parents just know that there kids are inherently good. Just as a lot of people just know that they are meant to partner with the opposite sex or the same sex. And no parent I know would agree to counsel with someone who had the agenda of getting them to agree that there kid was inherently bad.

Another important thing to remember about why it is so important for a counselor to be neutral is that when anyone is working on their early sexual memories they are in a vulnerable position and often times open to suggestion. Many studies have shown that false memories can be incorporated into a persons real memories due to a therapists line of questioning. see "Memory Distortion" by Daniel L. Schacter, or "the Myth of Repressed Memory: False Memories and Allegations of Sexual Abuse" by E. Loftus. I hope that my article will serve as a warning to gay people who read this. If someone wants to work early with you ask them directly about the policy. "Do you think all gay sex/identity is distress?" If they won't answer, don't counsel early with them. If they say yes, don't counsel early with them, if they say its possible all gay sex is distress, don't counsel early with them. I personally would only counsel early with a neutral counselor who believed that some people choose their identity out of distress, and understanding that inherently gay people exist also. otherwise its possible that "their" assumption that you were abused and that this is "why you're gay" could end up being incorporated into "your" false memory pointing to the "reason that you are gay".

Similarly, the RC policy spreads misinformation. People who do not know what to think about the policy are being asked to counsel on "the possibility that the gay identity and gay sex are distress". In other words counsel on the possibility that gays do not really exist preferably with a counselor who has already come to the conclusion that gays do not really exist. Again let us take a look at another scenario. A group of men not knowing whether they are inherently more intelligent than women is asked to counsel on the possibility that women are less intelligent than themselves with counselors who have the agenda of getting the men to reevaluate and come to the conclusion that women are inherently less intelligent than men. What could be the results? If a large number of men started to come to the conclusion that women were inherently less intelligent than men wouldn't we consider this to be a form of spreading misinformation? Even with a neutral counselor many of the men might come to this same conclusion because of their own acquired sexism combined with the way the statement seems to have a direction of its own. "counsel on the possibility that women are inherently less intelligent then men" or "counsel on the possibility that gay identity and gay sex is distress". Unfortunately the RC policy on gays is far from neutral.

Finally, the most damaging aspect of the policy is that it removes the status of being an oppressed people from gays and lesbians. For instance if there is no such thing as an inherently gay person, just a straight person with early hurts that makes him act gay, then when a gay person tries to say, "that's not how it is, I was born this way" etc. a straight person no longer needs to listen. It can't be oppressor material that is getting in the way of understanding this because there aren't any gay people, therefore we are all the same and he isn't really an oppressor. There is no need any longer to look at things with the perspective of difference. Again imagine if a disabled person says to an able bodied person "you dummy I need an interpreter I can't hear" the able bodied person will listen or if he doesn't understand he will assume he has some distress in this area and do a session on it. Whereas if one is taught that disabled people don't exist then you don't have to listen when someone tries to tell you needs an interpreter, you don't have to think that your understanding of his need for an interpreter might be based on your own oppressor material. You don't have oppressor material because we're all able bodied. Just give the guy a session on being able to hear.

If you'd like to contact the author write to michiron@aol.com.