Part 2
Please Add your
comments to this guest book!
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whats up Angela Welch brownmachelle@hotmail USA - Monday, November 26, 2001 at 12:17:35 (PDT) |
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I visited this site because I am doing a research paper on
DID for
my Abnormal Psychology class. Thank you for sharing your personal
experiences. They helped me put a personal touch in my paper. Teresa McCulley TMcculley71@aol.com Southampton, NY USA - Sunday, November 25, 2001 at 09:24:49 (PDT) |
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i'd really like some info on the types of alters there are within ..
how to communicate with my alters and how to get them to cooperate gladis medina suki20391@home.com USA - Saturday, November 24, 2001 at 20:00:39 (PDT) |
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I'm a master's level psychotherapist
seeking resources. I have a 12-year-old client who may just have revealed
the existence of several personalities to me. I must not remain ignorant
of all the ramifications of his disclosure; I must become much more
thoroughly informed if I am to help. At first glance, your site appears
very promising. Thank you. DJ counselor1@canada.com - Friday, November 23, 2001 at 06:37:53 (PDT) |
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Sorry for my last entry. I hit a wrong key
on my computer! I want to finish by thanking you for the ENORMOUS help
that I have gotten from your site over the past week or so!
Ellen Ellen , Ontario, Canada - Thursday, November 22, 2001 at 05:46:11 (PDT) |
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Just checking the site out, I have a
spouse with DID Pauline pauly_r2@hotmail.com Melbourne, Vic Australia - Tuesday, November 20, 2001 at 01:28:20 (PDT) |
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Hi to Emily and All: The last couple of months I have been searching the web for some contact or information from other multiples to help me assess just where I really am. I too had been diagnosed schizoaffective, manic-depressive, psychotic episodes, histrionic and borderline and so on, until I had one particular hospitalization in a setting where some doctors and therapists had knowledge of/experience with MPD and began to recognize the signs in me. That was in 1992. I was 41 years old then. I had always lost time and dissociated. I had frequently been told that I was the most changeable person __ had ever known, and so on. In that hospital setting in addition to rapid switching, I had a visualization of an abusive experience that was too bizarre for me to believe, followed by several others throughout the next 5 years of therapy, but the memories had the settings, the sounds, the people, the tools and the different me's rather clearly, but I would see them with a puzzling detachment. On the other hand, during the next 5 years of therapy, I often had severe panic episodes in therapy with wild behavior, but with no accompanying memories. So many of my parts inside were suicidal along with me, that my psychiatrist finally "referred" me to a "team" of professionals, but they would not treat me, effectively leaving me abandoned. (My therapist explained I was dropped because I was too high-risk.) I contacted psychiatrist after psychiatrist, with rejection after rejection, finally having to settle for one who told me my diagnosis of MPD was a "psychiatrist's fantasy". I was confused, but kept my mouth shut. Soon I read an article originating from a group called the False Memory Syndrome Foundation. What I read caused greater confusion and all inner communication ceased. After awhile I hoped that meant inner integration by some act of God had happened, as I just could not deny the experiences we had all been through. It was too much to deal with and I self-helped by reading positive messages wherever I could find them. On that note, nothing beats the old classic, Dale Carnegie's "How To Stop Worrying And Start Enjoying Life". As I moved into my third year of this strange but calm period, I sensed things would not be calm much longer, but I took only a timid first step of seeking a new psychiatrist for maintenance meds, without telling him upfront I was a multiple. It was the only way I knew to get in. There is so much information available on the web on MPD/DID, abuse survivors and related topics now--I was amazed. Surely there must be more knowledgeable therapists and doctors accessible even to me in my own area. Because there is more work to do and it is time, I think , for us to get back to it. One of the most helpful things I have been hearing from multiples through my reading is that integration does not have to be the goal. That is so freeing. We were so scared. What I would like to know is how to deal emotionally and intellectually with those who do not believe in our multiple status ( not to mention the abuse--I am not really even fully there yet). I couldn't stop the disbelief and rejection from knocking us all back. Thanks Emily and anyone who actually read what I wrote. Big Susan Susanshomeplanet@aol.com Brandon, FL USA - Thursday, November 15, 2001 at 08:33:01 (PDT) |
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Your site was very moving, and i was
touched deeply by your thoughts and words. I haven't been diagnosed yet
but i'm sure we will get someone to listen to us soon. finding a doctor
who doesn't frown on this condition is difficult. depression and
schizophrenia are the two diagnosis' i've been handed but the meds aren't
working. thank you for your words. brandikay brandikay4me@yahoo.com fort worth, tx USA - Wednesday, November 14, 2001 at 03:45:09 (PDT) |
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Thank you for your knowledge and
insight Cameron IamCameronx10@aol.com Broken Arrow, OK USA - Tuesday, November 13, 2001 at 06:43:23 (PDT) |
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I am doing a essay for a college class
(Special Populations) which is going to be on DID (aka MPD), If you could
give me NE quotes or in fo please e mail it to me. Stacey Wilson groove_ella@hotmail.com London, ON Canada - Monday, November 05, 2001 at 07:33:39 (PDT) |
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Excellent site, Thank you you have helped
me understand my dear friend more, Lynnaire USA - Thursday, November 01, 2001 at 21:48:58 (PDT) |
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Great site! We were diagnosed in 1991. At
first we were afraid but then felt an enormous sense of relief! Everything
began to make sense. We take on day at a time and work very hard to
cooperate with each other. Fighting each other makes life miserable. There
has to be rules! There has to be an overall agreement to what the rules
should be. There have been good days and bad days but things are
improving. Integration is out of the question for us! That would be like
cutting off ones arm. Thanks again for a wonderful site! Sherry sherbearc@earthlink.net Asheville, NC USA - Sunday, October 28, 2001 at 16:57:49 (PDT) |
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We absolutely love the puzzle
border on your background! Very nice! Please stop by and meet all of us
and sign our hello book! Mona Lisa http://displacedparts.tripod.com/ |
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I have been diagnosed with D.I.D for 10
years now. I have come a long way in those years. I am starting to write a
book about my life and the fact that I was abused in a family based
satanic cult . I have a lot of things that I feel the public should be
aware of. I have to continue to move forward for myself and my teenage
son. I think its great that you have this web site. If I owned my own
computer maybe I'd get more involved myself. Right now I'm using my
friends computer. It would be nice to have one at home. I do my best work
in the middle of the night. Hopefully I will get one soon! Keep up the
good work!!!! from , Candy candy hall roanoke, va USA - Thursday, October 25, 2001 at 19:24:52 (PDT) |
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Hello: This is the first time I have done this. I am MPD and have been for many years. No one knows I am and most of the time I feel totally crazy. I am a single Mom. Sometimes I wonder if my little one could look after me. Dominique maple ridge, bc canada - Wednesday, October 24, 2001 at 12:34:05 (PDT) |
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Hi I check in every once in a while when I
feel lonely. I don't have anything helpful to add except that I found my
four littlest alters to be quite a handful. My counselor suggested I ask
Susan my 15 year old alter to baby sit sometimes to give the adult alters
a rest from the constant strain of the little ones. Susan has been doing a
good job and in exchange all she wants is a voice. God bless all of you
this is such hard work, love sandy sandy mailto:snowpetal437@cs.%20com northeast USA - Monday, October 15, 2001 at 17:45:44 (PDT) |
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I've just printed everthing I could after
just brosing your sight.Though I'vejust been dignoised I really always
have known.I promise I will keep checking in.After all there is not alot
of people I can be myselfes with ,is there .Thank you from the bottom of
my heart for being there! One of us will be in touch. annie ANNIE10ZBARSTILL@aol port deposit , md USA - Sunday, October 14, 2001 at 22:31:13 (PDT) |
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Hi My name is Danielle and my boyfriend is
showing signs of DID and I don't know how to help him. So anyone who can
help us understand what is going on please email me Thank you Danielle SEPT2121@aol.com Danielle Sept2121@aol.com Queens , ny USA - Thursday, October 04, 2001 at 10:37:41 (PDT) |
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hey there everybody. i'm j. i have a very
difficult problem that i've been trying to cope with. i am engaged to the
girl i've been in love with since my freshman year in high school, and i
still love her, as much as ever. but the problem is, one (or more) of my
"alters" isn't in love with her, never was, and probably never will. in
fact, he makes it quite clear to me that he may be in love with someone
else. not that it matters, but this particular person is about the exact
opposite of my fiance'. i doubt that many of you have had problems like
this, but if you have, please respond. i'm at a loss.
thanks. J USA - Wednesday, October 03, 2001 at 19:35:37 (PDT) |
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ive only recently acknowledged and
accepted my disorder. i am afraid to reveal the past because ive spent
some 40 years esaping from it in a variety of harmful ways. your articles
were helpful. i am in therapy and i know i have a lot of work to do, the
good news is that i am wiling to do the work. thanks darlene walker-lapatta mailto:ms%20hyper%20angel@aol.com brick, nj USA - Sunday, September 23, 2001 at 05:51:59 (PDT) |
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I have just been diagnosed and I am very
scared. I am trying to find out as much information as I can. I am feeling
my others so much stronger since my "diagnosis". I just want to understand
what is going on with me. Lisa giraffegirl1234@aol.com Fremont, Ca USA - Saturday, September 22, 2001 at 20:19:39 (PDT) |
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I heard that DID was extremely rare, and
that kinda depressed me. But then when i found out that this wasn't as
rare as i thought, and that there were others like me who will share their
stories, i felt a lot better about myself and about my
disorder. Tin W. Telly03@aol.com, Oh USA - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 18:32:28 (PDT) |
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August 10, 2001, I was at my P-doc's
office telling him that I have been hearing a weeping and sobbing from
deep within. I had been searching all the rooms (my system lives in a
house) and found no one in that state. While in safety in his office, I
searched deeper inside and found a door that I had never seen before. I
could hear the weeping and sobbing from behind this door. At first I was
afraid of what I would find. But, I pulled the door open. In the distance,
I saw a small child (approx. 18 months old) sitting. As I got closer to
her I could see that she was covered with all the filth and dirt that
comes from child abuse. I wanted to go and comfort her, but I was afraid,
however, I continued toward her. When I got to the point where I could see
her face, I saw that she was me at the age that my abuse started. She was
not an alter or part of me. She was me at the time that I had stopped
growing. I held her, and rocked her, and sang to her. My P-doc says I
stayed with her for about 35 minutes. He talked to one of my adult alters
to get him to drive me home. I came back "out" on the way home. That was
about 6:30 pm. I went to bed around 9:00 pm and must have gone back to the
small child (me) in the night. I was with her all day Friday. I went to
bed as myself around 11:00 pm. I woke up in the wee hours of August 11,
2001, and saw all my alters, except the small child, standing around me.
They started walking toward me, not saying a word, as though they were
going to walk right through me. But, they never came out the otherside. I
don't know how long this took. I was exhausted afterward and feel back to
sleep. When I woke up later in the morning, I felt a little different, but
I just thought it was going to be one of those days. I did an internal
check of my system, I do this every morning to see what their needs are,
but all the rooms were empty. The only one there was the small child, who
is me. Yet, I felt their presence. Their essence was all around me, though
I could no longer hear their voices. I was extremely lonely for several
weeks, and am sometimes still lonely now. I believe that I have blended.
(I don't like the word integrated, it sounds too harsh) Yet, I still
consider myself a Multiple. We are still many, residing as one. My current
task at hand is to comfort the small one and accept her (myself) the way
she is, dirty, filthy, and damaged. I will need to experience all her
emotions, pain, abandonment, anger, terror, etc. I have always let one of
the others take over when these emotions have come in the past, but now, I
have to stay with them and comfort her (myself) the best way I know how. I
don't know if anyone else has had a similar experience, but if you are
blended, do you still consider yourself to be a Multiple? I know that I
always will be Susan, a woman with MPD. Susan autumn1954scw@aol.com Gainesville, FL USA - Saturday, September 15, 2001 at 12:20:21 (PDT) |
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My 18 yr old daughter was diagnosed with
DID 4 1/2 yrs ago. She has a wonderful doctor whom she still sees every 2
weeks. She has come a very long way and I am very proud of her. It was a
struggle at first trying to find out what was going on but our family's
love brought us through. Jolynne dixichicke@netzero.net Mooresboro, NC USA - Friday, September 14, 2001 at 02:39:54 (PDT) |
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HANG IN THERE SCHEMATIC HELP IS ON THE
WAY.... OZ USA - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 20:20:30 (PDT) |
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This is a bit complicated but I shall try
my best. I am in the process of mapping and one of my alters name is
Michael I have known of him for some time as well as others. I am usually
able to help clarify a problem if needed, however Michael is in the
process of coming to terms with ending his 14 year relationship with his
girlfriend they have a home together and have been living together for 14
years almost 15. The reason for the break-up is not DID Michael is not
aware of it neither is his girlfriend, he is ending the relationship for
other reasons. The difficulty I am having is that I do not relate with
emotions very well. My job is basically to explain things on a factual
basis - therefore I find it impossible to be of assistance. The first born
child is a female. So if anyone has advice... we give our thanks for your
time. Schematic MDT047@aol.com USA - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 16:39:28 (PDT) |
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We appreciate what you are
doing. OZ , NC USA - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 16:06:16 (PDT) |
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i am currently good friends with someone
with DID. i am also a therapist who has worked with this diagnosis in the
past. I like this cite for it's wealth of information. Heidi Foster tadpolekpr@hotmail.com bryan, oh USA - Wednesday, September 05, 2001 at 14:20:51 (PDT) |
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I'm one, now. I used to be more. Bill
Armstrong sent me your link. It's funny, but I'm a bit scared. Wonder
why? The me that is here now, loves being here. I haven't "gone away" in a long time. One thing. When I went away, I couldn't remember it. I simply lost time and had to "pay" for what she did. hmmmm. Deanna M. Quast quast1@msn.com Orange, CA USA - Tuesday, September 04, 2001 at 13:34:55 (PDT) |
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HELP, PLEASE nick speaks nickadge@aol.com tucson, az USA - Sunday, September 02, 2001 at 00:03:43 (PDT) |
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I am interested in learning more about mpd. thank you, Nick speaks nick speaks nickadge@aol.com tucosn, az USA - Saturday, September 01, 2001 at 23:37:40 (PDT) |
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Finally! Kathleen Hearn mscircus@vermontel.com Springfield, VT USA - Tuesday, August 21, 2001 at 22:06:01 (PDT) |
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I really like how you put this site
together. I put my Artwork samples down in the URL because they really are
representative of aspects of DID art. I am so proud of the job you have
done here. Valerie's Art Work Samples VJPulsifer@aol.com Valencia, Ca USA - Thursday, August 16, 2001 at 14:41:56 (PDT) |
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I AM NEW TO THIS. I HAVE RECENTLY
DISCOVERED 2 ALTERS IN MY LIFE. IT HAS BEEN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. MOST OF
THE TIME TERRIFYING AND OVERWHELMING. I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A
WONDERFUL THERAPIST WHO GOES ABOVE AND BEYOND TO HELP ME FEEL SAFE. I AM
HOPING THAT BY EDUCATING MYSELF THROUGH YOUR WEBSITE I CAN SOON RESUME A "NORMAL" LIFE. THANKS FOR ALL THE INFO. CINDY THETHREEHARLEYS@AOL.COM USA - Sunday, August 12, 2001 at 09:46:31 (PDT) |
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I have been treated for depression for
eight years. Only two months ago was I diagnosed with DID. All these years
that I heard "Lilly's" voice in my head, I thought I was crazy. Thanks for
your info. Marie Lilly034@msn.com Bristow, ok USA - Saturday, August 11, 2001 at 20:24:53 (PDT) |
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I would love to find other multiples to
e-mail to. My therapist is no longer working in the field and my
psychiatrist doesn't deal with DID. Needing some sort of support system
from others and hopefully I can share what I have learned over the last 7
years. joy talbot flipper_dolphin@hotmail.com OSHAWA, ON canada - Thursday, August 09, 2001 at 14:37:07 (PDT) |
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Great site. Come by and Sign our Guestbook. God Bless. Adrian with Christian Resources & More! adrian@iwr.com Portland, OR USA - Tuesday, August 07, 2001 at 10:36:31 (PDT) |
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I think what you are doing is great! Come
visit my site "Labyrinth of people" at the above URL. There might be
something there that you can use! Keep up your hard work! Sherbear sherryberryc@cs.com Asheville, NC USA - Tuesday, July 31, 2001 at 13:52:32 (PDT) |
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just making the connection. not sure about it all. new internet explorer, late bloomer. punched in the words and there you were. looking forward to future transmissions. i do have some healing and achievements to share. just starting a new job, kinda disorientated after the day, third day today. just have to remember where we are and remind us that we are healthier and we can do it. then there's salome, the integrated host. she is the most healthiest of of all and encourages us all we can do anything. those that get scared or have anxiety sit off to the side and dont have to participate. soon salome marton wittcheshonor@aol.com stockton, ca USA - Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 08:06:13 (PDT) |
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when my little ones are frightened in side
me I sing lullabys to them and it helps a lot. Some times it makes them
come out but they need a lot of attention because they are in body's that
make it difficult for other children their age to play with. Mine all hate
the word mommy love little girl age 14 Little girl snowpetal437@cs.com USA - Monday, July 23, 2001 at 19:48:48 (PDT) |
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I have found having a calender in a place
where I can see it frequently helps me remember the day, time, and where I
am. Having a special blanket and stuffed animals helps my
children. Deanna Kice Mrish135 Portsmough, Va. USA - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 16:45:13 (PDT) |
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I am the friend of a 2 multiples and would
like to have some suggestions on how to help them. JoAnne kyceezmom@cs.com USA - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 16:09:25 (PDT) |
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I just finished a book called "The
Stranger in the Mirror" and found it to be of some help. Those of you that
need more information might benefit from this. We are 15, we think.
Stopped therapy for a while, trying to cope but just started therapy
again. Find a good doctor, continue getting help. Encourage the positive
ones inside and have the courage to try new things that "pop" into your
head. I would never have thought I could paint, nor would I have ever
tried but someone close to me said "what would happen if you can't?" And
my goodness, I CAN paint. Imagine that!! Yes, there is pain and confusion,
but there is also joy that is locked away inside. Help it out, it's okay
to feel good about yourselves. Jill eyedeeme R. Cuca, Ca USA - Friday, July 20, 2001 at 22:02:39 (PDT) |
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Hi, to all of you who has taken the time
and courage to write here. You have helped me make some decisions in my
life regarding my partner who has DID. You have quieted some fears, and
allowed me to see great things in our future. I have been studying out DID
for 3 days on the net - and your page has been the most helpful. Please
keep it up. Courage to you all, Thanks Donna Donna Ireland donzap@hotmail.com Halifax, NS Canada - Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 07:28:43 (PDT) |
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I am happy that you are helping people
like me. My body is 29, but I am a little girl. (The older ones are
helping me type). We are starting therapy and trying to get everybody to
talk, but it is hard sometimes. i just wanted to say
"hi." melissa-age.six USA - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 21:19:00 (PDT) |
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Do you have any suggestions for going back
in and letting someone else come out for a while? I am very tired and
can't stop thinking, Teacher Sandy Snowpetal437@cs.com USA - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 12:02:52 (PDT) |
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My "Family" and I came across this web
page after one of my questions from a chatroom was posted. So much of what
I have read fits me and I can very much relate. It also offers a glimmer
of hope for me. One of my "little ones" wrote this http://home.comcast.net/~riversrages/poetry.htm"> poem as she related our
story: http://home.comcast.net/~riversrages/poetry.htm">(See Poetry
Page) -Autumn Thank you for your website. Susan W. autumn1954scw@aol.com Gainesville, FL USA - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 10:26:42 (PDT) |
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Hello I am doing a report for school and
know nothing about DID. If you are okay talking abou it, wuld you e-mail
me some facts or how you live with DID? How you feel and what is it like?
thank you very much. Sincereley, Courtney R from Pennsylvania CourtneyR. Courkgrl3@hotmail.com Selinsgrove, PA USA - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 11:37:59 (PDT) |
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please fill me in on more off this
disorder i believe actually i know that i have it charlene sweetlady981@hotmail.com USA - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 16:26:39 (PDT) |
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please fill me in on more off this
disorder i believe actually i know that i have it charlene sweetrlady981@hotmail.com USA - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 16:25:46 (PDT) |
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I think I will need to come back to finish
this. I have been diagnosed with DID for about 8 years, and have made a
lot of progress and am very involved in the kinds of things that
work. However, I feel right now as if I might be acutely decompensating, and I can't think straight. (I have the resources here to deal with this safely) I just wanted to say how grateful I am that you put the time and effort into helping others. thank you John Molinaro spin1_drift1@hotmail.com Baltimore, MD USA - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 10:46:19 (PDT) |
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I am one of seven inside Sandy's head, we
don't know why we are here. We don't think we belong here. I am not
Sandy's core but I have been out a great deal in the past. We are
conconsious;we are aware of each other for the most part The tinest one of
us( she's five) is choosing to keep memories to her self and this is very
upsetting to the rest of us because we are currently separated from our
mother and Father. This is causing Sandy a great deal of sorrow and
anguish and there must be relief soon. Perhaps I do not belong on this
sight but I have only recently found out( through my councelor) that we
are somewhat split. I could never do certain things nomatter how hard I
tryed because Sandy repressed Kate who is the clean freak and one who is
willing to try new things. Everybody wants me to write their names down so
here goes: Tiny(5), Lexi(9), Little girl(core, 14), kate (21),
Teacher(26), Writer(30), and Frenchi(?). I know it doesn't really matter
to anyone who they are but we do try to work together. We feel like we
don't belong anywhere. We are not true (DID) but we are causing havoc with
Sand's life because we all have our oppinions on what is a priority for
Sandy. Tiny wants to Play, Lexi wants to bond with Sandy's eight year old
daughter, Little girl wants it all to be a bad dream,Kate wants to clean
until she drops, I want to find the missing pieces, The writer is just
happy to study this whole fascinating senerio, Frenchi thinks life is
beautiful (she's the artist). We all want to be known and Sandy's tired
and confused and overwhelmed Well, just having an out let to others who
can at least part way understand( we are sort of cousins in the mental
illness world) is a help. I write in my notebook all the time and my
councelor reads them and writes back but I want to talk to people who can
relate with me but you guys can't any way so I geuss this is for my own
gratification. I don't know my Email My husband changed it I guess
good'bye for now, Teacher Teacher USA - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 10:30:32 (PDT) |
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i would like to help a dear friend (not
me!)who i believe has dissociative disorder to manage her behaviour and
get better, but I don't know how without hurting her, advice is
welcome tim brown timbrown77@hotmail.com USA - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 09:36:28 (PDT) |