It sure seems to me that everything just gets plain old twisted.
I can't think of a time where I really thought of the past - bad or good--prior
to crashing and needing help. Different members (parts of Myself) had memories,
but not all of us did. Most [members] would tell me that what memories
they did have were not good, maybe even horrible, and worth blocking from the
rest of us. Blocking the bad also blocked the good. What a
complicated mess.
Some of my therapy involves memory work and from this I have learned how to do it on my own. It takes practice so that it can be accomplished without being totally overwhelmed and dysfunctional. Memory work doesn't have to mean "digging into the darkness of your brain looking for something scary." It means, at least to me--sorting through the twisted mess and making sense of it.
Memory work also means making sense of goodness, happiness and all those playful moments that have been blocked because they got twisted in with the other garbage. There are times in therapy when we set a session aside just for good memory work.
I have a memory that I would like to share that I have accepted as a good and playful memory even though it had always followed or led to something traumatic. I made a decision today that I am going to take it for what it could have or should have been OR even was ~ a good childhood memory.