I am new to knowing that we exist. I am trying to find ways just to get
through this life. I find so much comfort in a lot of the comments made on
this
site. Thanks for being a light in the dark.
Lyssa
Lyssa: Some of the things that helped me get through were: 1) Making time to play. Child and adult parts found it comforting to turn their focus to some kind of recreational activity like coloring in a coloring book, playing with dolls and stuffed animals, working on craft projects, other hobby type things. With lots of practice, I learned that I could successfully change the intensity of my feelings (lower the volume) by changing my focus (getting up and getting busy with something).
2) Watching my breathing. I had a big tendency toward panic and anxiety. I learned that I was breathing fast and shallow. I learned to repeat to myself over and over, "slow and steady, breathe slow and steady." That made a real difference in how I handled stressful times.
3) Talking with other survivors. Whether in a local support group or with people I met on the web, there is nothing like talking to people who know what it's like. Having people say to me, "I know..." was the best comfort of all, sometimes.
J.B.
I am accepting that the parts of me that are so segmented and seem so much like other people are really me. I have such a problem trying to convince them, they want no part of it, they want control. Does everyone live through the pain and confusion everyday like I do? Becky from NB Canada
Hi Becky,
I used to have the chaos inside that you describe. I hope that you have a therapist, as that is crucial to healing. Trust is the thing you need to learn most, trust of a therapist, and trust of yourselves. The power struggles will end once you all realize you are part of a family inside, and learning to cooperate will behoove all. Some of the younger parts will need to learn that it is safe to come out before they will cooperate. It does get better. Jenn
Becky: I lived through lots and lots of time of pain and confusion. I did learn as I went along, though, how to comfort myself (all the parts), how to turn down the volume on the pain (refocusing on fun or pretty things), and how to share the trials with other survivors. I also found that journalling, as well as working in therapy sessions, helped move me through times of confusion.
I had one part who didn't want to believe that there were any other parts. There were more parts who believed that the telling involved in therapy was way too dangerous, so they fought that process. Try to listen to what those other parts are saying, see if you can learn to understand them before you try to change them. I found that respect for the others point of view went a long way in gaining cooperation. Good luck.
J.B.
I know something's wrong. But I don't know what. Nobody will help me. Everybody keeps ignoring me, like always. I was just hoping maybe somebody cared or could help me before I finally succeed.... Liz
Hi Liz,
It sure sounds like you need a friend, and I would love to be that for you. Is it possible that everyone is ignoring you because they don't know you exist? Sometimes with DID we are unaware that there is a difference between our inside world and the outside world. Could this be your problem? Perhaps you need to start making some noise inside so the others will hear? Take care and remember "You are stronger than you know." Jenn
Liz: It can be really hard to find somebody who knows enough to help, especially when you don't know what you are looking for. When I was starting out, I called a local child abuse prevention council to ask for referrals to therapists. You can also try looking on the website for Sidran Foundation Online (check under resources at this site to see if they list any therapists in your area). That site also gives some advice on how to find a good therapist. Don't worry about not knowing exactly what's wrong. You can show up for an appt. and say just what you did here, that something is wrong but you don't know what. That's where you would begin, and the therapist will help you figure it out from there. I hope you find someone to help soon.
J.B.
I think someone I know has either this or schizophrenia, so I thought
this site might be helpful.
K-T Watson
K-T: I'm no expert on schizophrenia, but I have heard that a difference between the two is, people who are dissociative hear voices inside themselves, while people who are schizophrenic hear voices outside themselves. That may be way too simplistic... J.B.
Please inform me about this disorder and is there any help
Sairy -- Germantown, MD
Sairy: There is so much to know...you might try checking out your local library under "multiple personality disorder" or "dissociative identity disorder." Book stores, also. There is help. We have to remember to check around and be consumers of mental health services just like we would if we were buying a house or finding a mechanic for our car. It's ok to go in and interview therapists, to try them out for a few sessions to see if they seem to know what they are doing and if we like them. It's ok to say, "this isn't working for me," and go try someone else. There is help. J.B.
I have a boyfriend and I want to have children and have a life with him, he does have multiple disorder and I have borderline, our worlds are separated constantly due to the disease, he's in jail and being held with total misunderstanding, and I am wounded and left to carry on and deal, but I am fighting with the governor of pa to have him released due to his illness and under strict supervision of a doctor, I need friends to help me understand and to stay with him and have children, I have many concerns. marlenea -- endicott, ny
marlenea: It might be best for you and your boyfriend to concentrate on your own healing before you try to raise children. The healing process takes lots of energy and it's a hard road, but it leads you to a better place. Children take a lot of energy, too, and parents need to be there to take care of their children's needs. Often times, children get shortchanged when their parents haven't healed yet, even though the parents don't want it to be that way at all. It's a difficult thing to say, and a difficult thing to hear, but if we aren't healthy ourselves, then how can we take care of our children in the healthy way they deserve? I know it's hard to wait. Sometimes great things are worth waiting for. J.B.
Yes, my other 1/2 suffers through D.I.D., 4 she is clearly aware of it, but I think we r 'bout 2 go through the integration time, so that all her alters will come together?? That is what she is leading up 2, as she says. Looking 4 some HELP???? Thank u, Lil' Dave Moore
Hi Dave,
I am glad your other half wants to integrate, as that is half the battle!! Some tips on integration, it is a fluid thing, not something you do just once and forget about it. I have integrated fully, only to resplit because of unresolved traumas. It is not something to rush into, but something that can happen spontaneously when all are ready. Trust is the key, trust in herself, and her system. Jenn
Lil' Dave: Hopefully, your other 1/2 is in therapy and getting help from a qualified counselor. It takes a lot of work to get to integration, and more help than anyone can give on an internet site. I hope you are getting some good help and support, too. It's a lot of work, and a lot of changes, for a partner like you, too. I wish you both the best. J.B.
I am doing a research project at school on multiple personality and trying to find out as much as I can on this! Alyson
Hi Alyson!
What an interesting topic to pick! I can tell you that multiples are not born, they are created by trauma or abuse in early childhood. I can tell you that they are not freaks, or weirdoes, but real people like you. I can tell you that most people take a really long time to figure out that they are one!! Most of us want to be normal just like everybody else...good luck in your research! Jenn
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