3 / 16 / 2004
Dan and I have been switching off trying to write updates. It's tough to find a spare moment. I'll kick this one off. He is out for a walk with Ruby so that I get a nap. I feel a need to do some updating instead. We'll see in the morning if I regret missing the nap opportunity:)
Last night we did see improvement in Ruby's level of anxiety as she was able to sleep a 3-hour stretch! She sleeps with me (Julie) so that I can immediately begin whispering to her and patting her when she starts to wake. They put us in a room with two double beds instead of a king. If she makes it past the half-awake state, however, it's much tougher to again achieve the sleep state. We don't plan on having her sleep in our bed when we get back home, but we'll just have to wait and see what would be best for her sense of security. I had thought that a crib bumper would not be necessary at home, but I'm rethinking that. The crib here is a problem (aside from the facts that she certainly doesn't like it) because she would bang her head on the metal bars. She is not yet walking without assistance, but we expect she will soon. We don't know if she can crawl. She is unable to move from laying down to sitting up or from sitting up to standing. She freaks out when we lay her down for a diaper change. Perhaps it has something to do with her inability to get up.
All of the families in our group went on an outing to a very large Buddhist temple today at Mt Gushan. It was about a 30-40 minute drive from the hotel. Ruby doesn't like being in the bus but she did ok. We think our guide, Richard, said the temple was over 1000 years old. All the traditional buildings and temples here are beautiful. There always seem to be several main temples with lots of smaller buildings and courtyards to the sides. Richard arranged for the Monks to bless the babies for those who wanted to. It was an interesting experience with lot's of chanting as part of the ceremony. Ruby fussed thru most of it. It lasted about 10 minutes. We wished for a healthy and happy life for our new daughter! We all enjoyed getting out of the hotel and for the most part the babies did pretty well. If one of us stands out with our Chinese daughters here you should see a group of 7 families! We got lots of positive interaction today, especially from the older generations. The grandmas especially like to come up to the babies and make sure they are dressed warm enough and give them kisses on the hands. We were there for a couple of hours. Ruby crashed out and slept most of the way home after only a brief spat of screaming.
Ruby understands some Chinese words. It's frustrating that we don't know more Chinese as this would probably be helpful to her. Her first word with us is Mama. It's likely that her nanny started to teach it to her, but it's pretty neat having her direct it at her new Mom. Her first security toy is a little bottle of drinkable yogurt with a really strong foil lid. She usually wants to have it in hand unless she has her bottle or a cookie/biscuit. She does not like to hold more than one item at a time. She'll always hand over whatever she is holding before taking the next item. She does a lot of shaking her head "no".
We had at least 20 minutes of time this afternoon after the fieldtrip when Le Le sat on my lap and started learning to "play" with stacking cups and a crinkle book. This was a victory! She typically screams and fights it when we put her in a sitting position. Dan and Ruby surprised me with an incredibly poignant gift during our playtime success. Dan had a silver necklace made for me by a woman in Portland (thank you Teresa @ smallthingsdesigns.com !) It is a silver rectangle with a ladybug design over a piece of red glass. The ladybug is considered to be a good luck sign in the adoption world, sort of a signal of good things to come. How did I react? Well, naturally I cried! That seems to be my job for a long while now. This is a hugely emotional experience. I offer this as an explanation for all of my puffy, red-eyed pictures.
Dan has been doing an excellent job taking pictures, handling payment of various fees and, of course, trying to get Le Le to eat and feel some comfort. She needs me to hold her at all times - awake or asleep if she has it her way. I have not taken a single picture in 2 days. One more set of hands would be a big help right now. We do hope everyone will understand Ruby's need to take it slow meeting anyone new to her when she gets home. We believe she'll get there, but this continues to be just too much for her to handle. Of the children in our group, there are only two who appear to be dealing very publicly with their trauma. Some of the other children are incredibly docile. We started her on Zithromax today, as she has enough systems of the need for an antibiotic. Another of our travel mates who is a nurse agreed that it was time to get an antibiotic going. The orphanage said that she was sick before we got her. We knew that to be the case when we first met her. Our greatest goal is to bring her some relief!
Before dinner we tried a brief bath. Julie sat in the tub and Ruby just clinged to Mom. Unfortunately, it is drafty in the room so we have to try to avoid her catching a cold. We did not at all submerge her in the water. Her cries were not as hysterical as they have been at time. All things considered it was relatively successful. Perhaps next time we'll get her hair washed, but that'll just have to wait for now. We haven't yet started her vitamins or kept consistent enough about treating her skin, but we're doing our best under the circumstances. Hydrocortisone has helped her skin a lot with only 2 applications. The ring-like marks on neck are looking much better and her face looks close to healthy. She is developing some rashy spots on her head and chest. Some of it might be attributable to stress. We feel that she really must be having some physical distress given her behavior. She stands out among the babies as the inconsolable one. We're hopeful that the antibiotic might start to bring some positive change tomorrow. If not, we'll need to look into getting her some medical attention. We would really like to not have to do that at least until we make it to Guangzhou on the evening of the 19th.
At dinner Ruby actually sat in a high chair! She wasn't pleased about it but got distracted once the congee and rice appeared. She smeared it everywhere, threw every object she could get her hands on, and made a gigantic mess. She despises wearing a bib, although we got it to stay on most of dinner. There was about a 6 inch gap between the inside of the tray and her skinny little body, so not much of her mess was contained. Ruby and Julie now have dried rice all over their clothing. We are celebrating every little victory. Perhaps tomorrow will bring a happier little baby. We've decided that in addition to being sick, she's just decided that we're going to have to fight for her. Maybe she needs us to prove to her that we are worthy to be her parents. Seems like she's a very stubborn little one who knows what she wants - even if Mama and Papa don't yet understand what that is. She's a special baby!! We love her very much!
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| Right: Richard talking to our group Below left: group shot Below right: Piper, Ruby and Julie
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Left: Patsy and her daughters LiLi and Beatrice Below left: Temple and mountain shot Below right: Mom and Ruby opening her necklace
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Sorry for the long pages for those of you who are on dial up connections. I know I should break these up into multiple pages but that's more work than we can handle right now. |