Ruby's Thoughts and
Prayers
Born in Prescott, AZ May 2,
1940 and died October 17, 1999 in Tucson, AZ after a heroic battle with
Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma that lasted for over a year. Married January 11, 1957 and the Mother of two wonderful sons.
Ruby always put everyone
first before herself. Her priorities
were to see that her family and friends had what was needed.
Ruby always knew the right
thing to say, or when it was time to only listen.
Poetry
Drawing
Listening to music
RUBY MAY HOMER
THE LOVE OF MY
LIFE
God looked around His garden
and He found an empty place, He then looked down: upon this earth, and saw your
tired face. He put His arms around you and lifted you to rest. God’s garden
must be beautiful He always takes the best. He knew that you were suffering; He
knew you were in pain. He knew that you would never get well on earth again. He
saw the road was getting rough and the hills were hard to climb. So He closed
your weary eyelids, and whispered, “Peace be thine.” It broke our hearts to
lose you but you didn‘t go alone part of us went with you the day God called
you home.
Author Unknown
The cross that pressed so
heavy is light and sweet today. It lost
its weight this morning when Jesus came my way. The cross that looked so dreary, a day or two ago, has with his
presence brightened. He helped me lift
it, so it’s now light as a feather. I
laugh amid my fears, and raise with Him my burdens; all lifted my anxious
fears, the cross that weighed so heavy.
The tears that fell so fast, are changed to glorious rainbows, in skies
all blue at last. A man may feel no
faith in prayer, and quit it all with little care. Yet in despair, may find his heart, kneels down in prayer. Be patient with everyone, above all with
yourself. Do not be disturbed with
yourself because of imperfections; always rise up bravely from a fall. Jesus is always as near, as a softly
spoken whisper.
We worry about tomorrow,
sometimes missing the joys of today. We
trouble ourselves about what may happen; yet tomorrow may not come our
way. Life’s pathway is uncertain. Right now, is what yours and mine. Our future is safe in Gods keeping; we can
live but one day at a time. You do not
walk alone, for God is always near. He
shares your pain, and knows, the things you fear. His hand will guide you safely, for His love is always there, to
give you strength and courage, if you ask for it in prayer.
Fear clutches my heart, and
the future looks bleak. But my faith
must not falter, and never grow weak.
For whenever I’m troubled, and things seem grim. I turn to my Lord, and ask help of Him. He wipes away troubles, and burdens I
bear. His compassion and mercy, keep me
safe in His care. When my wellspring of
faith, remains steadfast and true.
The Lord loves and protects
me, in all that I do.
I love quiet times, in life
so few, and far between. When one can
touch stillness, with nothing in between.
Moments God sets aside for us, when we need to meditate. God’s soft and gentle whispering, that seems
so crystal clear. Heard by ones heart,
not by ones ear.
Sometimes I feel so lonely,
and life seems dark with despair. I
look at my life and wonder deep down, have I done enough? Will God welcome me in heaven? I am weak.
I am a sinner. God sent His Son,
Dear Jesus, to die for my sins. If I
really am sorry for the pain I’ve caused.
I know my Dear Sweet Lord will forgive me. I pray to be stronger, and only do the best I truly can. I seek God’s wisdom to know when I can do
more. Thank you Lord for all that I
have. A wonderful husband and
family. I am truly blessed.
Truly a Jewel Among God's Flowers,
My Ruby.
They say, Ruby you were like a dream. Not always what you seemed, and though my
heart would break, when I’d awake, it must be so. I only know, Ruby it was you.
They say, Ruby you were like a song. Always knew right from wrong, and in your eyes
I’d see, only love for me. And from the
start, you stole my heart, Ruby it was you.
I heard your voice, and I must come to you. I had no choice what else could I do?
They say, Ruby you were like a flame, into my life you
came, and now I can’t be there, I always cared. You thrilled me so, I only know, Ruby it was you.
Love,
Jim
I am adrift in a stormy sea.
I have lost my anchor and my rudder, to the angry
tides of life.
Blown here and there by the angry winds, I search in
vain for a safe cove, a haven to rest my weary soul.
I am blown towards a churning whirlpool that threatens
to swallow me.
Helpless and lost I spin out of control, down, and
then up, around and around, each time I hope to be thrown out.
Each time my vessel seems to go first higher then
lower into the livid seas.
But alone with no mate to help me, I am helpless to
change my course.
All I can do is pray to my God for a saving change of
current.
Will the rising sun today, bring salvation and release
from this storm, or will I flounder, lost in the wasteful energy that threatens
to consume me, using all my strength just to hang on for another day?
Please Dear God, send the freshening wind of change to
divert me and save me.
By Jim Homer, for Ruby on Mothers Day 2000
One day I wrote a poem, you taught me how you know,
with words unspoken placed on paper for me to find, one day.
One day I learned to love, you taught me how you know,
with words you spoke, and looks you gave to only me, one day.
One day I learned to share, you taught me how you
know, with things you did for me each day, as only you could do, one day.
One day I learned to care, you taught me how you know,
with things you did for everyone, without a thought you gave your all, one day.
One day I learned to hope, you taught me how you know,
when you were ill you tried your best and fought the fight till final rest, one
day.
One day I learned to cry, you taught me how you know,
when you were gone from me for now and all I had were memories until we meet again,
one day.
One day I’ll learn to live, without you by my side,
you’ll have taught me how you know, to live each day that I will have as it was
meant to be, with happiness and not with tears for all the things you taught to
me, while you were mine to hold, one day.
By Jim Homer.
For Ruby, who taught me.
I
remember you. I no longer remember the
date or even the month. It might have
been May, as in your name. The place
was a dirty windswept corner on the outskirts of a little dusty desert
town. You were under the star at
Washburn’s Texaco Station, beside what we jokingly called the Alvernon
River. A Street designed to carry cars
when dry, and water when it rained.
Then the cars would be forced to drive with two wheels in the dirt, high
on the banks of our raging river, the others covered with water. The year was 1954. A good time for a fifteen-year-old boy with nothing but time to
kill. Dressed in Levi’s, a white T-shirt, with a pack of Pall Malls rolled into
the sleeve. Long hair combed into a ducktail, the fashion of the time. Hot and dusty from walking at the edge of
the road, I cross the sparsely traveled street to the coke machine in front of
the station. First I see Gloria the
sister of my friend Joe. Then I see
you. Your back was to me. Auburn hair shining in the sunlight, with
glints of gold. Smooth shoulders could
be seen above a peasant blouse of white.
Curves hidden under a skirt, that was tight in all the right
places. You turn and I see your face
for the first time. A shy beautiful
smile, brown eyes demurely downcast, and the most beautiful young girl I have
ever seen. You do not speak when I say
hi. Your friend does, and I ask of her
brother. Not a word passed between us
as I drank my coke and my eyes drank in your beauty. You may have said goodbye as I left to find my friend, or maybe
not, as shy as you were at the time. I
only know that when I found him I asked who you were, and where you lived. He told me Ruby May Sullivan, who lived on
Alvernon. I wondered why we never met
before since we lived less than a mile apart.
I don’t believe I could have forgotten you had we met before then, since
I couldn’t forget you later. How could
I know that in such a short time you would become the most important person
ever to enter my life? I might never
have had the nerve to ask you out, if you had ever said yes to any of my
friends who all asked you out before I did.
I was in awe of you and how could I know that within a year we would be
secretly engaged, and at the same time forbidden to date by your father? Runaway kids to California, only to return
to Arizona after a promise from him to discuss our marriage in the future. Out of school at sixteen to earn the five
hundred dollars that he said we must have to get married. It seemed to take forever, you baby-sitting,
and me working at a parking lot, both saving.
Then I got a job at a grocery store as a carry out, and a promotion to
the warehouse. A sixteen-year-old girl
and a seventeen-year-old boy finally had five hundred dollars and were
married. Tough times, good times, happy
times, sad times, the dusty town now a large dusty city. Our two children grown men, with stories of
their own, to tell. If this were only a
love story instead of life, it might have ended with two old people sitting on
a porch reminiscing. Instead it
continues with a sixty year old man, unable to sleep, up at 2:30 in the morning
remembering the past, wondering about the future and thinking of the love he
lost on October 17, 1999. Ruby May
Homer they said the marriage wouldn’t last six months. We knew it would last a lifetime. I thought it would last my lifetime. I was wrong. I remember you.
By
Jim Homer
For
Ruby May 29, 2000
If I had a time machine, to
turn the world around, I’d take the time to tell you of all I’ve learned and
found.
If I could tell you face to
face, what I have learned since you have gone away.
I’d tell you of the changes
I’ve had to make each day.
I’ve learned how much a
heart can ache, how deep a grief can be.
I’ve learned that could a,
would a, should a, can’t change the past in any way.
I’ve found the vacuum of
empty space, that you once filled, now takes many people to fill its space.
I’ve learned a lot about
friends, you know, how some disappear, and how others grow. The ones who care
are always there, the others are gone like a leaf in the air.
I’ve questioned God’s reason
for needing you now.
I’ve reflected and thought
many times, with much care.
They say that only the good
die young, which may be true.
Or perhaps he takes those
who have learned what life is about, and leaves the ones that don’t yet
understand all they need to know.
But I don’t have a time
machine, and you already know, the way I feel and how I hope.
That I can learn in time,
what you have learned, so we can be together again, in God’s time.
By Jim Homer
For Ruby June 10, 2000
If
teardrops were diamonds, and heartaches were gold, we would all have riches and
wealth untold.
Our
loved ones have gone on a journey we can’t yet share. Our reason for living, we
must not despair.
They
have gone to their Maker and are safe in His care. To prepare for our journey, the future is there.
We
had them a short time, and forever will care.
They
won’t be forgotten in the memories we shared.
And
the words remembered and thoughts that we shared, are more precious by far than
diamonds and gold.
We
hold them locked in that special place, in our heart of hearts, the only part
that did not break.
For we know in that heart,
when our journey is through, they will welcome us home, the ones that we knew.
By Jim Homer
For Ruby June 10, 2000
Today I took a walk. Down
paths we strolled together.
I remembered holding your hand
in mine, words we spoke and thoughts we shared.
Unfulfilled dreams and plans
we made, our hopes for the future together.
Tears unbridled ran down my
cheeks to land in the grass beneath my feet.
A sigh escaped my lips, as I
remembered the touch of your fingertips in mine.
But then I felt the gentle
breeze upon my cheek, the air you breathed in times gone by,
caressed me with a gentle
touch as you had done so many times.
I felt your presence and I
knew that you were as close as the early dew, upon the grasses that in this
desert grew.
I saw some baby doves and
knew that life goes on always anew.
That you would wish my tears
be few, when I remember you, and how it felt to hold your hand in mine when we
walked these paths together.
By Jim Homer
For Ruby June 13, 2000
Today I wandered the dusty corridors of my
mind, where resides the memories of days gone by.
I looked at pictures that are stored there
and remembered the sound of your laughter.
I heard the gentle rush of water as we camped
along the cool streams and saw the bright flash of scales of the trout that
swam so quickly as we approached the bank hand in hand.
I remembered the quiet nights we spent under
the stars so very bright with the moon a golden sphere.
I longed for the smell of the cooking fire
and the pine tree scent that would float on the breeze.
I remembered the feel of lying close to you,
and the warmth of your body next to mine.
Your gentle touch, the caress of your breath,
the sweet smell that was always yours.
I thought of how strong I felt back then, how
I thought I could protect you from anything.
Then I realized that you were my strength
that without you the world is a frightening place.
And the tears ran down my cheeks like the
water ran over the rocks that sheltered the wily trout.
And I knew that without these memories in the
dusty corridors of my mind, I would surely die.
By Jim Homer
For Ruby June
15, 2000
Yesterday, all my memories
are of yesterdays. Things done and left
undone, words spoken and heard, people and places seen.
Today, I create memories as
the day goes on, as each second passes, today becomes memories soon to be
yesterday’s.
Tomorrow, is the unknown
moments that may come to me, or not.
If given they are the chances to create memories for others, and myself,
worth storing as yesterdays.
By Jim Homer
For Ruby June 18, 2000
Time is like the desert,
always on the move.
The moments that we live
pass so strangely as we age.
They are like the dunes of
the desert blown here and there at the whim of the breeze. Sometimes gently,
sometimes violently with gale force they change. Constantly changing shape,
sometimes disturbed by passing footsteps or the occasional drops of rain.
When we are young time seems
to stretch as far as we can see or imagine. There is no limit to our future,
like the flat of the desert we can see no end.
The summer days seem endless
and we pass them all with glee, only pausing in the winter to miss the leaves
upon the tree.
In our middle years time
seems to gather speed, as we learn to face the world and all its changes. We
begin to see the dunes, and our path seems blocked at times as we try to fit so
many things into to short a time.
As our journey begins to
reach its end we find that the winds reach gale force at times and our
footsteps are erased almost as fast as we make them. For time seems so quickly
passed that we will surely not have enough, to complete all our dreams and
plans.
How many things are left
undone, how many dreams have we not won.
Will God perceive our time
well spent, or wasted and squandered, with regret?
I pray that I can learn to
see, the beauty in what God has given me. And do the things that I can do, and
not regret what cannot be.
So when my time on earth is
gone. I’ll have not wasted in the past, what God has given in trust to me. So I
can see when Heaven bound, my Lord and Savior, and all those I knew, waiting at
the gates to welcome me, to time again that has no end, and where dreams become
reality.
By Jim Homer.
For Ruby July 7, 2000
That face in the mirror, can
it possibly be mine?
Are those tears that run
down the creases of time?
The anguished look in the
eyes I see, staring back at me, whose can they be?
Where is the face I grew to
know so well? The one that looked at you and shone with reflected love.
Whose lips are curled in a
grimace of pain? Can these be the ones that gently touched you, yet at times
were fierce with want for you?
These hands that held you
close to me, are now so empty they cry with need, washed with the tears falling
from eyes that can no longer see your beauty, and goodness in front of me.
Pictures of you, recall the pain
in my heart, once filled with joy when I looked at them, for I knew I would see
your face.
Now all I have are the
memories of days gone by and caresses felt. And the tears fall faster and the
sobs begin for I miss you so, as only I can know.
And I realize this face in
the mirror is a stranger to me, and someone I fear. I want him to leave and
give me back the face that I knew when I had you, my love.
By Jim Homer.
For Ruby July 7, 2000
James L. Homer
1830 N. Heatherbrae
Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85715
Copyright © 2000
James L. Homer
Last
revised: July 24, 2003
If you enjoyed these words, please send an Email to Rubywords@hotmail.com Your words will be saved in remembrance of her.