Q: Why do they call it a "kilt"?
A: Because a lot of people got kilt when they called it a skirt.

Q: What do bagpipe bands wear under their kilts?
A: Shoes and socks.

Q: What's the range of a bagpipe?
A: Twenty yards if you have a good arm.

Q: How do you know when a piper is about to say something intelligent?
A: He starts his sentence with, "A drummer once told me..."

Q: Just how difficult could the pipes be to learn?
A: Not too difficult. There are only nine simple notes.