CALENDAR:
Friday, November 20, 2009 -The Buttonwood Tree
My favorite room, with Frank Critelli. I'll play a good long set and we'll have beer at Canon's after. Make a night of it. 8 pm.
605 Main Street, Middletown, CT
Friday, March 26, 2010 - Books & Co.
Shandy's last solo show- My annual birthday show, which actually falls on my birthday this time. Paul Belbusti will be playing too, so don't miss that. 7 pm.
1235 Whitney Ave, Hamden, CT
***
After the March show at Books & Co., I'll be putting these songs to bed. Here's a little explanation...
I am lucky. It’s important that you understand that, and it’s important that you understand that I understand that. I show up with a guitar, play a few songs, get free whiskey and am surrounded by friends for the night. I have no issues with nervousness or stage fright and the critics have been kind. My songwriting has put me on big stages and allowed me to sing a verse or two with my heroes.
If I’m really lucky, I can hear people singing along over the monitors, or I’ll get a message from someone in Alaska who bought one of my CDs and really liked it. And most of my very best friends have come from the music scene here, which I can say without hesitation is way better than beer tickets.
But it takes a lot of work to get the free whiskey and pats on the back, and not every gig has people singing along. Or beer tickets. More than work, it takes love—love of the songs, love of performing, love of getting home at two AM with ringing ears and a headache. It takes a willingness to overlook the five gigs that aren’t great to get to the one that is. It takes the confidence to know that even though the applause is sparse it’s still a solid song and you’ll get them next time.
So I’m lucky. I’ve had the love and the willingness and the confidence. I’ve had my friends pat me on the back when the rest of the audience did not and then encourage me to book another show. And I didn’t mind doing the work.
Which brings me here: I’m passing on my luck to someone else. I’ve had it for a long time, I’ve never taken it for granted and I put it to work for me. I’ve spent the last decade singing for New Haven and while I love every soul that’s ever come out to see me play, I think someone else can use the luck more than I. Maybe I’m not who I used to be, maybe I’m just tired; but the love, willingness and confidence just isn’t there.
I’m still a young man, but I’m too old for ringing ears at two AM. My memory has a few gremlins and makes it difficult to keep lyrics and chords straight. And more and more I find myself wishing I were in the audience rather than on the stage. But really, the issue is that I just don’t love it like I used to, and I plod through every set just to get to the end.
I have a few more shows on my calendar, and then in March my luck is up for grabs. I’ll still be playing guitar in the Frank Critelli Band for as long as they’ll have me, and sitting in on guitar with a few friends but the solo gigs have run their course. I’m a tiny fish in what feels like an ocean and have no doubt that my absence in the music listings won’t make a ripple; but I thought that you should understand that I understand how lucky I am: wicked lucky.
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