Women's Day

Today is Women's day in Ukraine. We're not really sure what this is, except that they are all celebrating women. But why we are still a little confused about. Men's Day was a couple of weeks ago, but today seems to be a bigger holiday, since all government (and the US Embassy) is closed. So, we made our appointment at the US Embassy for tomorrow at 11:30. We will get the boys' visas so that we can fly home on Thursday.

Today, we decided to go souvenir shopping to pick up some neat things for all of you that are helping us out so much at home. Also, we wanted to take Egor on the subway and let him see some of Kiev before we go. He really likes the soccer team in Donetsk, so we picked him up a scarf with their name and logo on it. It was kinda funny 'cause he wanted to take it out of the bag and wear it all day. He even unzipped his coat to show it off, despite the cold weather and light snow. He is a really big fan of soccer. We can't get him to put the Gameboy down, but this will be an issue to tackle when we get home. He also has made very little attempt to learn English, so the first few weeks (and months) home should be interesting. It is difficult for him to adjust to the situation and to us, so learning a new language on top of it is probably pretty hard.

This trip is really taking it's toll on the two of us. A month in Ukraine and away from home and family is a long time. We've been pretty grumpy the last couple of days and just all around tired. Denny doesn't sleep well and getting him to sleep has become a huge chore. We have been trying to keep him on the same feeding schedule and food that the orphanage had him on so that we don't have too many diaper issues. This has been hard because we've been busy and it has required some planning, preparation, and cooking. Plus, he is really into everything and it has been tiring to chase him around the apartment all day. He is also the most talkative two year old we've ever seen. He just jabbers away non-stop. And if he's not talking, he's singing. He loves to sing!

Spending time with the boys

We are not able to get to the internet much now that we have two children with us, so our updates will be more brief (sorry). Sunday, when we arrived in Kiev, we were exhausted. Denny liked the train so much that he didn't sleep much, which also means mom didn't either. It was a long night, so we went straight to our apartment and rested for the majority of the day. Mom and Denny took a long nap in the afternoon and we watched Russian television with Egor. He really likes our gameboy and Super Mario Brothers has become his favorite game.

Monday, we took the boys to the Medical Center for an exam, as is required by the US Embassy. All went pretty well. Egor and Denny are indeed healthy. Denny didn't like the doctor at all, but she concluded that he does have a slight medical issue, which is no big deal and we can take care of when we get home, and that he has no delay whatsoever. In fact, she thought he was really excellent for his age. They did ask to have a psychologist evaluate Egor more. At first, we were concerned that this would mean extra time in Kiev, but the doctor called the psychologist and she agreed to come in today. Her only conclusion was that he is very delayed in his development, but is a smart boy and will be able to recover well. This was all information we already knew, so there were no surprises.

We're ALL Coming Home

Court went really well yesterday! The boys are now officially Egor Maxim Renfro and Dennis Nicholai Renfro. They will be coming home with us next week! We are so excited! After court, we had to go get new birth certificates made (with us as the parents) and then get them Ukrainian passports. This was really a lot of waiting around for us, but then we went out to Egor's orphanage to pick him up. They showed us his room and his classroom, then the director said a few words and that was it. We left with Egor, but by then it was pretty late. We decided to wait to pick up Denny until Saturday morning because our hotel conditions are less than ideal (you'll see what we mean when we get home with pictures).

When we got back to Donetsk, we went out to a restaurant to celebrate. This was Egor's first time to a restaurant. Then we went back to the hotel and let him watch a Russian DVD we picked up for him before bed. Then, first thing this morning, we went to pick up Denny. He was really excited to show us his bed and to put on his new clothes. Then we went shopping for a few miscellaneous things we needed for them and took them to McDonalds for lunch.

We really don't have much to update, but we figured we had a few minutes at the internet place. Yesterday and today have just been spent waiting for court. We went to visit Denny both days. Yesterday he was in a pretty bad mood and cried a lot at everything. Today, he was a MUCH happier boy. He is anxious to go for a car ride. Tomorrow we will have court. We are a little nervous, but are hoping for the best. We went ahead and made an appointment at the US Embassy in Kiev to get their visas on Wednesday. We figured that it is better to have the appointment and have to cancel then to have to stay here longer because we can't get in. Yesterday we went to buy train tickets to Kiev. There were none available for Friday night, so we are stuck in Donetsk until Saturday evening. Again, we went ahead and paid for the ticket for Egor (Denny is free), because we'd rather pay for the extra ticket than be stuck here any longer. (Are you sensing a theme here? Can you tell we are really homesick?)

If the 30 days are waived, we hope to get a flight out of Kiev on Thursday or Friday of next week. Although, this could be tricky since there are four of us now instead of two. However, if the 30 days are not waived, we will try to catch a flight out on Sunday or Monday. Either way, we should be home by next weekend.

It is still super cold here...and windy. We can't wait to feel the warmth of the Colorado sunshine. Even our hotel is pretty chilly. We just can't seem to warm up. I think we will turn the heat in our house up to about 80 for the first couple of days home :-) This has really been an adventure for us and we have enjoyed it, but there comes a point when you are just ready to go home. Next time, we'll come on vacation and splurge a little for some conveniences (and we'll be sure to come in the summer time).

In Colorado, when you wake up, the first thing you do is look outside to see what the weather will be like. This is how we tell the weather. Word of advice - this doesn't work in Ukraine. We woke up and saw the sun and thought "Aw, we don't need long underwear today." Boy, we couldn't have been more wrong. And boy did we suffer the consequences. It was even colder than yesterday (-12 C), but with less wind. <\p>

Today, Edward came back from Kiev and had a big day planned for us (he had been there since Friday to do paperwork). At 8:00 we were off to the court to do paperwork, then off to the records office, then to see Egor and take him to get his passport pictures and took the opportunity to get him a coat and boots. Even though he really wasn't able to choose (they only had one of each in his size) it was neat to see him excited about getting new stuff. Boy, if he's that excited about boots and a coat, imagine the look on his face when we get home! When we got him back to the orphanage, we measured him so that we could buy him a few things later. Then we were back on the road to Donetsk. We stopped at the court again, then to the lawyer's office.

Despite the busy day, we have some good news. We will indeed have court on Friday in Donetsk. However, we did run into another obstacle today. The Director of Egor's orphanage decided that he didn't want us to have one court in Donetsk. He was upset that if someone ever came to inquire about the boys, then he would have to do extra work to provide the information, or if it was ever questioned, he would have to travel to Donetsk to straighten it out. So, after we were dismissed from the room and Edward spent some time behind closed doors with him, a compromise was reached (we think). He will allow us to come out to the orphanage Friday morning (an hour and a half away and before court at 9:00AM) and take a representative of the orphanage with us to court so that he can be rid of any responsibility. Whatever.

We just finished shopping for Egor and were glad to come to the internet and find so many encouraging emails. Thank you everyone! Now, we just have to cross our fingers (okay, we'll probably do a little more than that) that the 30 day wait will be waived.

We have started the paperwork to adopt both boys and have been visiting them on a regular basis. However, Egor's orphanage is about an hour and a half away (and a bit of an expensive taxi ride), so we will not be able to visit him for about another week. But, he has begun to warm up to us and seems to have some understanding as to what's going on. We learned that he likes to draw, play computer games, and dinosaurs. He drew us a picture of a whale that he let us take with us. He decided that he would like his middle name to be Maxim so that he can be called Max at school. He will keep his first name and we will use it at home.

We are able to visit Dennis twice a day at the orphanage. He is really liking our play time and cries when we leave. He really likes to ride in the peddle cars and push them around. He likes them so much, that we had to begin to request to play with him in a different room. He has also begun to repeat some of the words we say. He is not real communicative with us, but is with the caretakers and our translator. He is really a happy kid! He will be Dennis Nicholai and we will call him Denny for short, since it is closer to the way his name is pronounced in Russian.

We finally got to meet them today. Dennis is 2.5 years old and is a very happy boy. He is absolutely adorable and very smart! We had to travel to a "wellness" center, where he was on a little "vacation" from the orphanage. When they brought him into the room and asked him where mama and papa were, he pointed to us. It may have been coincidence, but there were two women and two men in the room that he hadn't seen before. Then they told him to go to mama and papa and he ran right over to us. Which was kind of amazing because they had warned us ahead of time that he didn't like strangers and would probably cry. He was very cuddly with us and we were able to play with him for awhile. We were amazed at how smart he was and how healthy he was.

There wasn't much for us to do today, so our translator offered to take us to see some of the tourist sites in Kiev. It was a very interesting and cold day. We went to many Russian Orthodox churches and holy places (catacombs), to Independence Square, and to one of the many WWII memorials. It snowed the whole day and was below freezing. It is not so much that it is colder than what we're used to, but that it is a constant cold. It has been cold and cloudy ever since we got here. After a while, it becomes difficult to warm up. We haven't seen the sun since Chicago!

Since there isn't much to update with, we will list some of the observations we've made about Kiev and it's people.

We have been pretty busy and unable to get to the internet the last couple of days. Wednesday, we had lunch with our stateside facilitator and our social worker, who were here on vacation, while we waited for our referral letter. That was really fun! We ended up not getting the referral letter, but the Director promised it to our facilitator by the next morning. Since we already had bought tickets to Donetsk, we decided to go ahead and go and our facilitator would fax us the copy and send (by train) the original the next day. The train was uncomfortable and hot, so we didn't sleep much.

When we got to Donetsk, we found a hotel (more like the motels you see on Colfax...very scary looking, both inside and out). It's a good thing it is too cold for roaches this time of year! But it was the only place to stay and it was 15 minutes walk to the orphanage (which we couldn't go to because we didn't have the letter). So we went to find something to eat and had a difficult time, because nothing opens before 11AM or 12PM. Our facilitator then called to tell us that he didn't get the letter, but he would try again in the afternoon. The NAC Director was being very difficult!

We ate Ukrainian food for lunch, which was okay. Sean liked the "Calamari Salad", which grossed Crystal out, so she had crab salad instead. Later that afternoon, our facilitator called to say that the Director had changed her mind and decided that the couple had to be present to accept the letters and she wouldn't give them until Monday.

We also learned today that you have to be crazy to drive a car here. There is only one rule (laws) of driving in Ukraine - there are no rules! Actually, if you follow the rules, you will be crushed. Be careful when you step off of the curb - oh wait, be careful walking on the sidewalk! They drive anywhere there is room, whether or not it is a road. And there is no insurance, so don't hit a nice car or he will take you to court! NYC cabbies have nothin' on these guys!

On a more serious note...we had our appointment at the NAC today. Our "facilitation team" picked us up at 10:00AM for our 11:30AM appointment. Everyone here walks, so we couldn't understand why so early. Well, once you get to the other side of the river, where most of the entertainment and tourist spots are - the traffic was unbelievable. We probably would have been better off walking if it weren't snowing so bad. Anyway, the NAC was running behind so we went next door to have a cup of coffee (which had the look and texture of mud, but was actually really good). Then we went back to the NAC and waited...and waited. Finally, at 1:00 it was lunchtime and we had to leave. We came back around 2:00 and were finally seen at 2:30.

We were asked by the psychologist to tell about ourselves, our family, our house, but it became evident as we spoke that she didn't really care, it was just more of a formality. She kept getting interrupted, taking phone calls, etc. So we went right into looking at the infamous red binders. We were shown very, very sick children with very serious, uncorrectable problems and diseases. It was very stressful and heartbreaking, especially because we were being pressured and rushed. Finally, the Director came in and yelled at us to make a decision or get out.

In the midst of all this, there was one boy (about 3) who was pretty healthy, but we hadn't chosen him because he had a 9 year old brother. This was a concern for us as it was not our intention to accept a child that old, nor take 2 boys. Our biggest concern was what Aleksandr's reaction would be to having a brother the same age, and even a couple of weeks older, than him. However, we had been prepared for the possibility of siblings. After a lot of thought (and getting kicked out of the office), we decided to accept the referral. The boys are in the Donetsk region of Ukraine, and by law, cannot be separated. Also, by law, we can only get a referral for the younger one, as the older one is not yet registered with the NAC as is required by law. So, we will travel to see the younger boy and meanwhile, our facilitation team in Kiev will work on the referral for the older boy. Edward and Marina will accompany us to Donetsk to help with translation and paperwork.

We are confident that we will be lead to make the right decision for our family, whatever that may be. Sometimes, God's plan is not necessarily the same as our plan :-). We knew this would be a difficult journey.

Well, we made it to Kiev! It is a very interesting journey thus far, to say the least. The flight wasn't too bad except for the fact that we didn't get to sit together from Chicago to Frankfurt. That was a long 8 hours! Sean met "Vito" on the plane, who was a real pain in the neck. Seriously, imagine the gangster you see in all the movies that stands behind the boss saying "you wants fer me to kill 'em now boss?" This was that guy, he was wearing a full Adidas matching sweatsuit and baseball cap and made sure to put on a gallon of cologne just before he sat down. Now we know why the rest of the world hates Americans. The flight from Frankfurt to Kiev was the shortest leg, but the most comfortable - go figure!

It is very surreal to be here. Our translator met us at the airport yesterday afternoon to take us to our apartment (flat). It was pretty snowy and cold out. We found that people with Mercedes drive too fast for the snow, no matter what country you're in. On the way we stopped by the market to get some food, since we are on our own today. Boy, that was interesting. Nothing was in English, nor did anyone speak English, so it's a good thing he was with us. But guess what? They had Pop Rocks!

Turns out, our flat was just around the corner from the market. It was a little scary looking, very soviet era type housing. There is a hole in the elevator, revealing the shaft as it goes by. The flat is nice, but small. Our hostess, Alena, is very kind, but doesn't speak a word of English, so communicating has been interesting. Especially since we (duh!) forgot a translation book. Crystal had trouble with the shower. Seems the hot water is always on the RIGHT here, no matter how the knob is labeled!

Today, we decided to venture out on our own, though we haven't gone far yet. We don't have a map and don't speak the language, so we are a little afraid of getting lost. However, it turns out the internet place is right behind our building, but the connection is SUPER slow (less than 28.8K). We'll see if we can find a map somewhere; we'd really like to see the sights :-)