Sean is just some guy who lives in the Twin Cities. Updates to this blog are at random intervals. Other Pages

18 November 2009 - So yesterday Lizzie and I were listening to my new iPod (my old one got dropped into a sink full of water*), and then when a dance song came on, we starting dancing to the music together. And then I realized: my one-and-a-half-year-old daughter already dances better than I do. * - Incredibly, not Elizabeth. It was I. 10 October 2009 - It snowed this morning, and Lizzie is not happy about it. (Actually, come to think of it, I can think of about a dozen stories over the past year, every single one of which would end with, "And Lizzie wasn't happy about it.") Anyway, this morning, with the half-an-inch of snow that we got, I thought we'd bundle up Lizzie and go out and play in it. But Lizzie wasn't happy about wearing winter boots (it was harder to walk), and she wasn't happy about walking around the yard (the snow was cold and slippery). She cried unless I picked her up so she wouldn't have to be near it. She pointed all around the backyard, pointing at the snow, repeating "Dirty." "Dirty." So she sees the snow as like lots of white piles of dirt. She wasn't happy about wearing mittens, either (she doesn't like having her hands covered up). But also she wasn't happy about not wearing mittens (then her hands got too cold). I was about to take her back into the house, but while we were passing through the garage, she saw her red wagon and climbed inside. This is what she does when she wants to go on a walk, so I pulled her down the hill towards her favorite playground a couple of blocks away (it's her favorite walk destination—she objects if I attempt to go any other route). And when we got there, and I pulled her out of the wagon and she looked at all of her favorite playground equipment, she saw to her dismay that all of it had snow on it. "Dirty, dirty," she cried. So she turned around and started walking back down the park path back toward home. (Although I always bring the wagon or the stroller on our walks, she actually prefers to walk along rather than ride.) But when she got halfway back, she got stopped because part of the walking path was completely covered with snow, and she didn't want to walk on it. "Dirty, dirty." So I picked her up, put her on the wagon, and Lizzie suffered the indignity of having to get a ride back instead of being able to walk herself. It's Minnesota, and it's October; it's going to be a long next few months for Elizabeth.   8 October 2009 - "Nearly 1 in 4 people is Muslim" screams a headline from CNN.com today. Maybe so, but why is that news? And why does the headline say that instead of "1 in 3 people are Christian", which is equally true? 17 September 2009 - My Galileoscope came in the mail today! It cost me fifteen bucks, not including shipping and handling. I've never had a telescope before, not even a cheap one like this one, so this was exciting for me. I spent half an hour assembling it, attached it to my camera tripod, and then took it outside. The moon is pretty much completely new right now (literally only 1% of full) so the easiest target wasn't available, and Venus and Saturn are both currently too close to the Sun. (As it happens, even if Saturn was up, it has literally the worst view in 14 years right now—the rings are basically edge-on to Earth, so they can't be seen.) Luckily, Jupiter was relatively low in the night sky at 9pm and pretty easy to identify (it's really, really bright). Actually, it was positioned just about perfectly...I could point the telescope at it and view it through the eyepiece while sitting in a lawn chair. Jupiter looked just like a bright circle with the 25x eyepiece, but when I put in the 50x piece, this is what I could see: The satellite to the left is Io and the three to the right are Ganymede, Europa, and Callisto. Ganymede is the largest, which is why it's the brightest, and it's actually further from Jupiter than Europa is; it just appears closer in its orbit right now from the perspective of Earth. (I consulted Celestia to check my identifications and it turns out that I was right; the simulated image above is a screen-capture from Celestia.) Cool! 13 September 2009 - Lizzie took her Magna-Doodle and drew this for me yesterday: Then she pointed at it, and then said to me brightly, "Nanuh!" (That's her word for "banana".) Then she pointed at a different area of the picture and declared, "Apple!" So this is "Still Life With Fruit". 10 September 2009 - This year I named my fantasy football team "Bad Horse." In case you don't know anything about Bad Horse, with the terrible Death-Whinny, the Thoroughbred of Sin, he who rules with an iron hoof, here is a web page that will tell you all about him. Below are excerpts from "The Bad Horse Facts." You should fear Bad Horse!   Bad Horse frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. A “Disabled” parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Bad Horse and that you will be disabled if you park there. Apple pays Bad Horse 99¢ every time he listens to a song. Bad Horse does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Bad Horse goes killing. Bad Horse does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. Bad Horse doesn’t give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Bad Horse. Bad Horse ends every relationship with “It's not me, it's you.” If you can see Bad Horse, he can see you. If you can’t see Bad Horse, you may be only seconds away from death. Bad Horse has never had an alcohol problem. However, alcohol has had a Bad Horse problem. Bad Horse puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”. If you try to introduce your mother to Bad Horse, she’ll introduce you to your biological father. Bad Horse sleeps with a night light. Not because Bad Horse is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Bad Horse. If you see Bad Horse crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying. Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads, “WWBHD?” Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Bad Horse is going to kill you. Oxygen requires Bad Horse to live. Switzerland isn’t really neutral. They just haven’t figured out what side Bad Horse is on yet. They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Bad Horse. He doesn’t have to. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Bad Horse got an award for masturbating in public. When Bad Horse answers the phone, he just whinnies “Go”. This is not permission for you to begin speaking; it is your cue to start running for your life. 18 August 2009 - This weekend I went to the local library and I happened to notice a book sitting on the shelf, and I whimsically picked it up. This title was My Least Favorite Team is My Favorite Team. It turned out that it's written by a Minnesota Vikings fan, and in it, he explains why he hates every single NFL team in the league, and has a chapter for each of the thirty-two franchises. I checked it out and took the book home. I discovered that throughout the book, the author recounts every single stupid move of the Vikings' coaching staff over the past couple of decades, all the idiotic antics of the individual players, and every devastating loss that has twisted the knife into the hearts of Vikings fans everywhere. As a Packers fan, I love this book. Here are some of my favorite excerpts: [On head coach Mike Tice and his famous "Randy Ratio":] I am willing to go on a limb and declare that telling your future opponents, along with the rest of the world, what your game plan is going to be is not a winning strategy. [On the 2000 NFC Championship:] The Giants cruised to the Super Bowl by demolishing the Vikings 41-0. The biggest fight the Vikings put up all day was when Randy Moss yelled at a security guard who refused to allow some of Randy's friends on the field before the game. [On the famous trade to Dallas:] In the final calculation it became clear that Walker did not want to be in Minnesota, the coaching staff did not know what to do with him when he got here, and the front office put so much faith in one player that they gave away enough of their future to build a dynasty in another city. [On the last game of the 2003 regular season:] The ball was on the Vikings' twenty-eight-yard line. There were four seconds left. This one play would determine the playoff fate for two different teams [the Packers and the Vikings]. McCown rolled to his right and fired a desperate shot into the right side of the end zone. Then it happened. Nathan Poole happened. [On the most enjoyable game in NFL history:] Over 64,000 people attended the game that day. With the exception of three very annoying women who were wearing Falcons jerseys and were dancing and hugging each other, we all got up and began leaving without saying anything to one another....I do not believe I said a word for the next two days. [On Vikings fans:] Let us face facts. We have to lay some of the blame at our own feet. We keep supporting these slobs even though they break our hearts every year....The fact of the matter is that many of us are not that bright. For example, we were willing to make just as many excuses for Randy Moss as the team was willing to make for him. [On the Vikings themselves] Throughout the course of my life as a Vikings fan I have had to succumb to one simple truth: the team is dumb. I mean the whole team, top to bottom....The team is hateable at every level. Their stupidity has never been the product of one bad apple, nor has it been sequestered within a short period of the franchise's history. This is the way that it has always been. The book doesn't mention the recent 34-0 drubbing that the Packers gave the Vikings just a couple years ago, but presumably only because the book was published in 2007; otherwise I'm sure that game would have merited a couple of paragraphs. I was planning to blog about this book this week anyway, but today seemed an especially appropriate day to do it; I have a pretty good feeling that this year will supply a future edition of the book another good example. 6 August 2009 - I was at Buffalo Wild Wings for a group lunch today, and after I ordered Wild-flavored boneless wings (just one quantum below Blazin' in the BW3 sauce continuum), I was asked if I had ever taken the Blazin' Challenge. "Nope," I answered. I was asked why not ("you'll get a T-shirt!"), and I answered with what I've always considered to be one of life's truisms: If you ever find yourself in any kind of contest involving competitive eating, you need to take a step back, consider your life's recent events, and identify the point where you went wrong. 10 June 2009 - Last weekend Cindy's high school had its graduation and as a teacher, Cindy had to read names. The graduation was at Target Center and Cindy hates to drive into Minneapolis by herself, so Lizzie and I tagged along. For a half an hour before the ceremony Lizzie and I had an entire Target Center section by ourselves (I found an out-of-the-way section with poor visibility since I had no one in particular to watch). This was great for Lizzie, who could (and did) run around all she wanted, especially up and down the stairs leading to the seats. But after the ceremony started, latecomers showed up and filled up our section, so Lizzie had to sit in my lap. This lasted for about 45 minutes; then Lizzie wasn't capable of sitting still any longer, so we had to stop watching. We left the seats and instead took a walk around the arena perimeter. (It turned out that's where all the other parents with toddlers were.) At one point Lizzie got away from me and she wandered up to a woman who was standing around, and grabbed her on the leg. The woman didn't mind, and in fact pulled a lollipop out of her purse and asked me if Lizzie was old enough to have a sucker. So Lizzie got a lollipop. At another point Lizzie walked up to another parent and toddler who were walking around. The other toddler was a little blond boy, who looked to be several months months younger than her (quite unusually he was actually shorter than Lizzie, as she is small for her age). The two of them stared at each other for half a minute or so. Then Lizzie leaned over, grabbed his head, and kissed him on the face. Then she did it again. And again. "Oh, what a nice little girl," the other parent said to me. So that's what Elizabeth learned last weekend; how to run around in new places, take candy from strangers, and kiss boys she doesn't know. 30 May 2009 - So my parents still had our old red wagon, from when my brothers and I were kids, more than thirty years ago. So they gave it to me, and I brought it home, and it's Lizzie's now. I bought some steel wool and I was in the backyard scrubbing all of the rust off of it, so I could repaint it. Lizzie was in the backyard, too. too. It became clear that Lizzie had seen a wagon before (our day care provider has one) because the first thing Lizzie did when she saw it was to get behind it and try to push it. Then she tried to climb into it to get a ride. I wouldn't let her get it it at that point, because I was still trying to scrub the rust out. So instead, Lizzie sat next to me and watched for a few minutes. Then, while I was busy scrubbing, suddenly she appeared alongside me, clutching her own piece of steel wool (she had pulled it out from the pack that I had just bought), and started scrubbing it out with me. I wish I had had a camera at the time. Anyway, eventually I finished scrubbing the rust off, painted it with primer, then with regular red paint, and now Lizzie has a new (old) wagon! She definitely likes her new toy. I see I'll have to be careful, though. She has decided that she likes to try standing up in it while I'm pulling her, and I am pretty sure that I don't trust a fourteen-month-old's sense of balance. 28 May 2009 - Elizabeth can now say the word "cracker". "Cracker!" she says. I told my friend Doug about it. Replied Doug, "Can she also say 'whitey'?" 23 May 2009 - To my brother and new sister-in-law, congratulations! Chad & Anna Sandquist May 23, 2009 11 April 2009 - An update on Elizabeth's vital statistics: Vocabulary size (English): About 7 words: "Mama", "hi", "Addy", "no", "tickle", "pop" (soda), and possibly "whazis?" (always said while pointing, i.e. "what's this?") She also knows many, many more words than this, she's just never spoken them yet. But she can retrieve or point to objects when you ask for them (e.g. eye, nose, ear, shoes, sock, coat, banana, baby (doll), train, ducky, cookie jar, blocks, ball, book, clap, etc.) Vocabulary size (Elizablish): Still not known, but it is fairly obvious that "Ga" is "dog" in English. ELIZABETH: (pointing) Ga! Ga! Ga! ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Look, Father, I believe I see a dog over there! Teeth: 7 (four top, three bottom). She has had this odd number of teeth for quite some time, and there's still no sign that her bottom right tooth will appear, restoring symmetry. Favorite toy: Still Daddy's remote control, also Daddy's iPod. Must remember to keep all the bathroom doors closed. Favorite mode of transportation: She walks all of the time, and she's getting faster and faster. She's pretty obviously going to start running any day now. Favorite mode of entertainment: Still likes high things. If she can manage to get up on the couch, then she immediately climbs up and stands on the adjacent coffee table, which is at table top level level. This scares Mommy even more, since it's about three times higher than the fireplace she used to like to climb up to (and still does). Handedness: Right-handed, pretty clear after mealtimes when cleaning her up, which hand is a lot messier than the other. Newly learned skills: She has now figured out the "Baby Death Drop", where, when you attempt to pick her up but she's upset and doesn't want to be picked up, so she raises her arms over her head and wriggles in an attempt to make you drop her. Cindy was describing Lizzie's latest exploits to a teacher friend of hers, who has two slightly older kids. She observed correctly that the days of our cute little baby are gone. Now we have the demanding toddler who cries when she doesn't get her way. 31 March 2009 - At lunch today my brother pointed out a small hole in my polo shirt that I hadn't noticed. "I guess you need to go to Savers and get a new one." I can't deny that I've bought work shirts from Savers in the past. (I'm cheap.) I hate paying $30 or more for a shirt. I often get polo shirts as birthday or Christmas gifts, and I've gotten free logo shirts from work occasionally, so as a result I can't remember the last time I bought a new work shirt. "There's nothing wrong with getting a shirt from Savers," I replied. "Look at this shirt with the hole in it. I originally bought it new, paid full price, and here it's already worn out after only twelve years." 24 March 2009 - A haiku, by Sean: Dinner With Elizabeth Food dropped to the floor On purpose. "Uh-oh!" she says. Over and over. 19 March 2009 - It finally happened. Last night Cindy and Lizzie and I went to BW3* and I played a Buzztime trivia game, one called "Speed Freaks", and I scored 11,000 points, which ended up being the highest score for that particular game, anywhere. On the Network Rankings page, I was listed as number 1.** (The highest ranking I had ever previously gotten in any Buzztime game was number 3, on a couple of different occasions.) Just the latest small step in my inexorable rise to world domination. * - Wednesday night is kids' night. Balloon animals! ** - As it happened, no one else in the restaurant seemed to care. Or, for that matter, noticed. 15 March 2009 - Happy birthday, Lizzie! She's such a ham. Whenever she looks at the camera, she smiles at it. A first birthday party is a unique event. Not only does the birthday girl have no idea that the party is for her, but the festivities will get interrupted a couple of times so that the guest of honor can take a nap. 14 March 2009 - Have you ever wondered to yourself, "Which one of my friends is the most likely to own a deck of cards consisting of the periodic table of the elements?" If you guessed "Sean," well, then, you guessed right! 8 March 2009 - Yesterday we had board game day at our house. I ended up playing Power Grid, Agricola, Spy Alley, and Torres. Power Grid and Agricola are both games that I've learned very recently, I like both of them very much. I've played Power Grid a couple times previously, but the game yesterday was particularly fun; it helped that I think it was the first time that we actually played it with the completely correct rules. The object is to build power plants that utilize different resources (coal, oil, garbage, wind, fission, and fusion) to supply power to the most cities. I ended up squeaking out a win, building and powering seventeen cities with only three dollars to spare. Agricola is another good game; it has a farming theme, the idea is to start with a family of two people and create the largest and most diversified farm in a set amount of time. This was the second time I've played it; it was Cindy's first time, and she ended up winning (though she was helped by the fact that it turned out we got a rule wrong about how fast our farm animals reproduce, it was too easy for her to acquire food from her enormous herd of sheep). At least this game no family ended up short of food at harvest time and had to go out on the streets begging. Spy Alley is a pretty light game that I picked up a couple of months ago when I was taking Lizzie on a walk; the guy that actually created the game is from the Twin Cities and was selling half-price copies of it from a table at Maplewood Mall. It's probably one of the first games in our current collection that Lizzie will be able to play. I played Torres for the first time; so far, I think I can take it or leave it. I do admit, though, with the plastic towers that you build, it ends up being kind of a pretty board game on the table. The couple that had brought the game ended up pulling their digital camera out and taking pictures of the game while we were playing. (I remember that I used to occasionally take photos of board games as well. Now my camera just has 600 pictures of Elizabeth on it.) While we were playing games, either Aunt Monica or Uncle Paul or Cindy or I (though mostly Aunt Monica) would take turns watching Elizabeth. She's a good walker now and spent some time toddling around. As it got into late afternoon, Scott asked us what time of the night we usually put her to bed. "Usually about nine or so," Cindy said. "Nine?" asked Scott incredulously. "We put Eryn to bed at seven. If you wait till nine, how in the world do you ever get anything done?!" "We don't." So that explains it. 13 February 2009 - Why I haven't been able to write much lately. (And it's not me, by the way. I come home from work and Cindy immediately hands me the baby: "I'm going to go use the computer now.")   19 January 2009 - Current vital statistics on Elizabeth: Vocabulary size (English): About 2 words ("Mama" and "hi". Possibly also "Dada" but that's arguable). Vocabulary size (Elizablish): Unknown, but appears to be extensive. It's hard to tell because no one else understands it. As my father observed, "It'll probably be easier for her to learn our language than for us to learn hers." Teeth: 4 (two top, two bottom). Favorite food: Likes pretty much everything, but green beans must be pretty high up there. Also, newspaper, if she ever finds it lying around. Favorite toy: Daddy's remote control. Favorite mode of transportation: Mostly crawling, almost walking. She can manage to take take one small step or two before falling over. Favorite mode of entertainment: Lately, climbing up onto the one-foot brick step to the family room fireplace and pulling herself up to standing. Not sure what the entertainment value is in this, other than scaring Mommy. 17 January 2009 - So one thing Lizzie likes to do is to pull one sock off, then crawl around the house carrying it in her mouth. She also likes to overturn the garbage cans. And if you sit down anywhere with food, she'll come up to you and beg for a treat. So it's a little weird, is what I'm saying.