Shriner's Convention
written by Ray Stevens
Yeah, they come down Main Street, drums a flailing and sirens a-wailin', what a roar
Bands are a-playin' and flags are a-wavin'
The vanguard's a motorcycle corps
Clowns are a-clownin' through the crowd and pinchin' every pretty girl who dares to smile
It's a glorious mess, everybody wears a fez, the parade stretches out for a mile
It's a typical American phenomenon
Where all the members have a fine old time
It's the forty-third annual convention
Of the Grand Mystic Royal Order
Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine
Meanwhile back at the motel:
Hello, Operator, give me room three-twenty-one please. Thank you. Hello? Noble Lumpkin?
This here is the 'Lustr'ous Potentate. I said it's the 'Lustr'ous Potentate. The Illustr'ous... Coy? Dad-blame it,
this is Bubba.
Coy, why whadin' you at the parade? What? Well, how'd you get that big Harley up there in your
room, Coy?
What? Quit revvin' it up. I can't hear you. Turn it off. I just want you to know one thing. You have embarr'ssed us all, the whole Hahira delegation. Now, you be at the secret meetin' tonight, you hear me, Coy? Don't answer the phone Uddn'uddn.
Well, it was a secret meetin' in the dead of the night with a serious sanctimony. In accordance with prescribed rituals of time-honored ceremony. Matters of grave concern were weighed with dedicated caution, like whether or not to raise at stud, or draw, or spit in the ocean.
It's a typical American phenomenon
Where all the members have a fine old time
It's the forty-third annual convention
Of the Grand Mystic Royal Order
Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine
Meanwhile back at the motel:
Operator? Gimme room three....how'd you know? Hello, Coy, 'Lust'rous
Potentate. Hey, where have you been? Nooooo, you wasn't at the meeting.
Well, I found out that 3:00 o'clock this morning you're out there in your
Fruit-of-the-looms in the motel swimming pool with a bunch of them waitresses
from the cocktail lounge!
Now, Coy, that ain't no way to act; we're supposed to be pillars of the community. Well how'd you get that big old Harley up there on the high dive, Coy?
Listen son, we get back to Hahira you can just turn in your ring, and your tie-tack, 'cause you just might be out of the Shrine.
What do you mean, you just might join the Hell's Angels? Coy, don't you hang up on me! Hello....Operator? Yeah, we'as cut off, room 321. Coy! You don't hang up on the 'Lust'rous Potentate! The 'Lust'rous Potentate......the IP.......Bubba!!! Coyyyyyyyyyyyyy......
Thanks for the visit; hope you enjoyed Ray's zaniness! (as well as mine...)
