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He’s not really made of
paper, that’s just what he uses as an excuse to avoid work.
Because he likes to drink. Not work. His special powers
include napping, putting on his shoes, and arithmetic. He once
grew a beard to prove a point, though he’d long forgotten
just what that point was. Oh, actually, it was to prove he
could grow a beard. But he liked it and shit, so he kept it.
For a week.
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