If I Were in Congress

Sent by my brother..too good not to share!

So, here's what I would do if I were in Congress these days.

When the CEOs from the auto companies stop by, I'd take their keys hide them. Then I'd ask them how much they were thinking about paying each month. After they told me, I'd steer them towards a bailout package that's completely different than what they wanted. We'd finally decide on a bailout package, and I'd tell them, "OK, I just have to go run it by the finance committee. It will just be a couple minutes. Help yourself to some burnt coffee in a silly paper cup.

After a few minutes of chatting with my coworkers, I'd come back and tell the CEOs that I have this great package for them, and their monthly payments would only be double what they originally wanted to pay. Of course, they wouldn't go for it, so I'd tell them that I'd love to give them a good deal, and I'll go back and talk to the finance committee and see if I could get the monthly payments lower.

Help yourself to more coffee.

After a few minutes of telling more jokes to my coworkers, I'd come out again and remind the CEOs that I really want them to leave with a deal, and could they put down just a little more. That way, I could get the monthly payment down to about 125 percent of what they really wanted to pay.

After a few more trips to the finance committee, I'd finally tell the CEOs that we can get the payments down to what they wanted, because I'd really like to see them leave with a really great deal. Now that they're all happy, I'd sell them the extended loan care package that keeps all those billions of dollars looking brand new.

So then we'd get down to signing the paperwork - the unabridged Encyclopedia Brittanica volume of paperwork including the form where you sign to acknowledge the extended protection will be revoked at the same moment they would actually want to use it and initial the disclaimer paragraph that they will likely be screwed in the long run.

So now they're off with their brand-new, shiny loan. I'd then give it a couple days before I call and say, "So, how are you enjoying your new loan? Great. I was calling to let you know that the loan really didn't go through, but if you could put down, say, another 2 billion, I could get you into a great interest rate. Oh, and here's my card, if you know of anyone else who would like a loan in the future." Perhaps then, the auto CEOs would realize why most Americans are indifferent to their possible collapse. --

Addicted- Product review

Most years I create handmade items for the holidays...some great, some not so great but that is a story for another day.
It is difficult to hand make a present for a child. I got some cool ones as a kid, but most kids want something to engage their little brains..and I don't think my yarns can do that.
I really really really (repeat that about 10 more times) HATE how commercial Christmas has become. It's less about giving and more about buying what we are supposed to want than it is about the brand name of the gift you are giving. How the corporations have BOUGHT Christmas is a story for another time as well though.
If I can't make it, I will try to buy it hand made. This years present was for my nephew Cameron.
Stores are full of games that beep, blink, squeal, scramble and just about anything else you can imagine. These are cool, but we only buy them for kids who have parents we don't like or are trying to intentionally drive insane.
Soo..I found a pretty cool present this year..it doesn't beep, whistle or ping, but is stupidly addicting even for adults...
It is the I Spy bag from Lost Art Designs (http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5309067)
This woman is a genius..a very simple idea, but a very good one.
The I Spy pillow is a polar fleece pillow with a clear plastic window. The pillow itself is filled with clear plastic pellets, and a whole lot of other do-dads. The do-dads are listed on the back of the pillow with a sewn on label. The kid (or adult) picks an item off the label (a jingle bell, for instance) and then squishes the pillow around until they find it.

If you ever had one of those long family vacations in the car, and played the "I spy game" (which in my memory always went something like "I spy something blue" "The sky?" pout.."Yes". "Ok, my turn" " I see something....white" "The clouds?" "Yes") I promise the I Spy pillow is much more interesting, and you can play by yourself.

I took it out of the package after dinner and was immediately addicted to trying to find all the objects on the back. Pretty cool...pretty addicting. Why this woman isn't selling to every major retailer is beyond me...these pillows could produce a nation of calm, quiet children.

I am debating keeping it for myself and getting my nephew something like a game that is a cross between Simon and Operation...I will sit quietly with my little pillow and be amused for days....

Da new kid

Much has happened since the Alpaca incident. When I got home, Rosy the Weim was acting horribly depressed. Neither she or Max were very friendly with other dogs, but they were close in their own way.

Rosie is a notorious beggar for food..she is my constant companion when I am cooking, hoping that something will fall off the counter for her to scarf down.

One morning, I put a piece of corn bread in her bowl. She sniffed at it, gave me a woeful look and went to go lay on the couch. She didn't want to move, play, cuddle, or eat. Not good.

The hubby and I decided we needed to get her a pal sooner rather than later.

I am a big believer in rescued dogs. You can spend a chunk of change on a dog from a breeder (which unless you can visit the site in person is probably a puppy mill) or you can go to your local shelter and give a pooch a second chance.

I started cruising the Dumb Friends site.

Don't get me wrong..Naughtius was a peice of my soul. I loved him more than I have ever loved a dog before. But I never wanted a Lab. I wanted a northern breed. I grew up with a Spitz, I loved the soft fluffy coat and friendly but independent nature.

Jace has accused me of wanting a northern breed just because they have spinnable fur.....

Whatever the reason, within a few days we found a picture of Samoa on the Dumb Friends site.I sent it to Jace, immediately captivated by his ice blue eyes and intelligent look.

I bailed on my stitch and bitch to go see him. I waited and waited. There was a family behind me of rednecks that wanted to see him too. I was glad I got there first.

Tired of waiting, I went to walk through the kennels to see him. I found him, laying in a puddle of his own pee, head turned away from people's curious gazes. I sent him a mental conversation. I asked if he was the one that would come home with us. Amazingly, he lifted his head and looked at me. His icy eyes had far more impact in person. I thought I heard the answer back "get me out of here...please" (that would be the obvious answer I am sure) I promised I would try.

I finally got called and sat anxiously in the adoption room. Rosie was waiting in the car in case it looked good and they could meet.

They brought him in and our eyes locked. He put his head down and wagged his big fluffy tail in the same way Max used to.

The adoption councilor shut the door and we introduced ourselves. I ran my fingers through his soft fluffy coat, he put his black nose against mine and gave me a lick on the face. He knew sit, shake and down. Someone loved this guy and took the time to train him.

Jace was on his way, and came in. He claims his heart was stolen when he saw the photo of him.

We introduced Rosie and it was the first time I had seen her play in about a year.

It was a done deal. As we were checking out, the cashier said she was glad we were adopting him and not the family behind us. They had been insisting that we had enough time to see him and it was their turn. We were pretty glad too.

Sam and Rosie became instant buds. Their morning greetings would start about 7:30. Rosie on the bed, Sam howling at her and butting noses with her. It would end up in a wrestling match that usually went down the stairs and stopped when I put food in their bowls.

One morning, I got out of the shower and saw Sam sitting in front of Rosie carefully licking her ears...Rosie looking like she was the queen of the universe. He brings her toys and howls if she doesn't play with him. He howls to amuse himself and when animal planet is on too.

He has taken a while to warm up to us, which is probably good. Humans mourn longer than dogs I think, and it has taken time to make some room in my heart for him.

We go on a daily walk now, which is helping me with my physical issues. I laugh at their antics and am amazed by how quickly they take to training together. Occassionally, Sam will scoot closer to Rosie while we are walking and give her a lick on the face..almost like he is saying "Ain't life grand?!"

My heart is warming to him quickly. You can't replace a dog, but you can definitely grow to know another!

Oh yeah, and we named him Sam. Simple, fitting and rhymes with a bunch of nicknames.