The Book
"Hypnotic Tuesdays"
A revolutionary book about a new approach to group therapy entitled "Hypnotic Tuesdays" has been created and is ready for publishing. It is a team project by one former group member, a talented writer and hypnotherapist Baerbel Froehlin. This book offers real life examples from weekly group therapy sessions. The client writes about her experiences and the therapist responds with her expertise about the sessions.
This book is on the cutting edge of nonfiction self-help books available today. It
takes the reader inside the process of group therapy and shows clearly the effectiveness of hypnosis and the benefits women receive
from creative group therapy. In addition, readers will learn about the therapist’s tools for moving women to more powerful emotional
places. The book includes art expressions done during therapy sessions. It provides an excellent tool for therapists to facilitate
their own journaling groups.
The following "ANGER" is one of the ten chapters from the book. It speaks loudly and profoundly about the typical issues the women dealt with during group hypnotherapy. Looking back I can easily see, how much they all have improved. They are living a much more joyful, confident and "relaxed" life.
Anger
Group Member's Commentary
We started out this women's group session by free writing from the word "Anger". Baerbel gave us several minutes to write
whatever came into our minds related to anger. She reminded us that if we got stuck, we could repeat the word we had just written,
rather than stop the flow. Several times throughout the exercise, she would repeat the directions, a gentle reminder keeping us on
track. When we shared our thoughts, several things came up. I pointed out that my words were all about my reactions to someone else's
anger, and didn't deal at all with any anger of my own. I always have associated anger with bad people, and since I don't view myself
as bad, I always have trouble with anger for me. When Baerbel asked me where the rage was, I shrugged, really not sure. Anger
Kate spoke
about how her anger is mostly related to the recent terrorist attacks on the United States, and all of those involved with that. Joanne
talked about an image she had seen on TV that stuck with her - her ex-boss covered in mud. That image made her think that maybe she
isn't completely done with her anger related to work problems, yet she could easily laugh at thoughts that had come up. Laura talked
about the confusing feeling of having anger with her husband about his anger - which she said felt like a vicious cycle to her. Ann
talked too about family anger, and tears came to her eyes as she tried to express some of the pent up anger she has for her own husband,
and the way she feels he has controlled their lives.
Related to the exercise, Baerbel had us next draw what anger looked like to us,
reminding me (and perhaps others) not to analyze, but to pick a color we associate with anger, and draw it. It is interesting to notice
that three of us chose black as the color of our anger, and the other two chose red - colors we often associate with darkness, evil,
and general negativity. While briefly explaining our drawings, we connected again to the words we had written and noticed how they
intertwined - words and symbols both with the same result.
Baerbel had us relax next, putting down our pens and pads for later. She
softly guided us to complete physical peace, and encouraged that mental and emotional peace to come along with it. Doing an inventory
of our bodies, we went to our stomachs, the place, she says, of much stress, and relaxed those muscles completely. We then went to
our chests, another place where stress is often stored, and eased the tension there by slow and methodical breathing. Baerbel then
spoke to us about anger. She reminded us that anger is normal and good, and that it is okay for us to release those emotions. In fact,
she pointed out, it is very important to release them or they can become bigger and more dangerous to us, physically and/or emotionally.
I found myself drifting as she spoke, in and out of my own feelings and thoughts about anger - even angry sometimes that she was even
making a big deal about that emotion at all. However, I had been with Baerbel enough to recognize my own avoidance of this topic,
and hence, my need to tune in. Due to the volatile nature of my family while I was growing up, anger is always a very scary emotion
for me. I could never be sure when it would be triggered, and I could never feel completely safe about how it would come out. However,
this weekly session was always a safe place for me, and I gave into that finally, realizing that's the only way that I will grow,
and choosing to trust the process that Baerbel had set up for us.
Toward the end of the meditation, Baerbel asked us to think about
three times when we said yes, but meant no, and whether or not the "world would have fallen apart" if we had indeed said no when we
meant it. I had some trouble coming up with three that really matter much, and believe that I don't very often say yes when I mean
no. But, what I noticed and shared with the group was that the meditation helped me to think about anger in my life, what place it
might have, why it feels hidden to me, and what that might mean. I was filled with childhood memories of screaming, shouting, hitting,
throwing - and I cowered inwardly from the thoughts. Kate talked about saying no to a fellow committee member, who seems to want to
control everyone else's job, and the great satisfaction that she gets from being able to do that. Joanne about being able to say no
to her husband, in terms of what he wants her to do to change herself - her hairstyle, her clothes, or whatever. She spoke about having
the confidence to believe that she really is fine, but needing the strength to share that with him. Laura also spoke about conflict
with her husband, and finding appropriate ways to disagree with him and still feel satisfied with herself. Ann, too, spoke about her
family, and wished that she could say no to some of their demands on her about cleaning up after pets, doing the bills, and taking
vacations.
Throughout each woman's comments, Baerbel spoke about choices that we have, and how important it is to exercise those choices
with people each time something comes up. We can talk things over with a spouse, we can think about an issue before committing, we
can stand up for ourselves, and all of these things, we choose to do or not do. It is thought provoking to me to realize that I have
choices about such things, and though I know logically that is so, I often get caught up in the moment, the circumstance, the time
and I feel almost helpless to do anything but go the course. It was almost like a light going off in my mind, telling me - you have
choices in your life, and you are in charge. Truly, a revolutionary concept to me.
In the end, Baerbel read to us to help us relax,
but I was agitated enough to not be able to focus on her words. This topic of anger is one that takes some time and space, and though
it's not fun, (in fact, Ann asked Baerbel not to continue with this same topic next week), I trust in Baerbel enough to know that
it's necessary.
Therapist's Commentary
I saw the need to address it to get to
the angry emotions, to acknowledge them. It is important to deal with anger because anger has many faces, and I had caught glimpses
of those faces in the group many different times. When a woman can call her anger what it is, she begins to understand and accept
it. That's her first step to healing from it. However, it is not "nice" to be angry in our society, it is not okay to say: "I am angry!"
After Sept. 11th though, everyone seemed to be angry openly, and everyone accepted that anger as a very normal reaction to the tragedy.
I am concerned about the physical effects I have seen anger do to people. I can see it in their eyes, in their behavior, I know it
through the physical and emotional pains it causes people. I know a lot about anger myself, it's been my steady second half for many
years. Even if it's officially not called anger but stress or depression, it's there. When it's kept locked up inside, it's what people
send out without being aware of it. In my opinion, those of us with anger inside are walking time bombs, carrying explosives that
will ignite when least expected. Suppressed anger is dangerous - so I knew that it had to be approached in a gentle but persistent
way. I also knew that it would be difficult to get real responses from the women on this topic, since it was so buried inside of them
and it would mean not being "nice".
The writing that I had the women do first scratched the surface a little bit. The colors of red
and black that they chose to draw with were not surprising to me. Red is often chosen as the color of rage and black mostly as the
color of devastation. There is no in-between when it comes to anger. As the women discussed their responses within the group, I noticed
that they were analyzing and still guarded about what they could say. That behavior called for relaxation. I needed to get them back
into their safe place so that they could later move out from that place feeling more confident, positive and strong.
Women know that
they store anger somewhere in their bodies, and through the relaxation, I was helping them to locate it. They usually do not allow
themselves to even think about it, and this was a safe way to bring that to the surface, to help them to tune into what it is they
are hiding in their bodies. I wanted to help them realize that anger makes us tight and tense. Once they have the chance to identify
anger - where it is, what it does to them, how it interferes with their lives - they can begin to manage it.
Although some of the
women were having trouble relaxing with this topic, I trusted in the power of hypnosis. In trance they would be shown again that all
of the answers to their questions are right there inside their own minds. The subconscious mind will provide solutions, we just need
to pick them up and decide when and how to act on them. I would be there to help them if they needed help.
Women often say yes to
be "nice"; I had to remind them of their feelings after they said yes when they meant no. Anger building up, hidden and repressed,
manifesting in unexpected, unwanted ways. I wanted to help them to acknowledge their anger as a human part of themselves. By thinking
about the times when they were able to say no the women would feel proud about standing up for themselves. By helping them to practice
in the group how to say no in other parts of their lives, they will realize their own potential and feel good about their own power.
They finally can accept the idea that they have a choice in how they respond to people and situations.
To look at anger in hypnosis
is easier. There it all makes sense, emotions are understood and accepted, no back doors here. Obviously several group members were
being confronted with ongoing issues in their lives that needed to be addressed. I felt confident enough in their process of empowerment;
given some time and space they all would be ready to do just that.