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My Story of Faith and Church
Stuck in a "Dead" Church -
Baptized in the Lutheran church as an infant, by my early twenties I was primed to leave it for anything better. I had come to think most if not all traditional, liturgical churches were dead. I thought that the people in Pentecostal churches had the Spirit in a way that the traditional denominational churches did not. I thought that many people in the traditional churches lacked a personal dimension to their faith and therefore were, at best, lukewarm in their faith or, at worst, not truly saved or born-again at all. I thought it was obvious that the people in charismatic and Pentecostal churches - or even in non-charismatic evangelical churches - were a lot more alive spiritually and more genuine in their faith than Lutherans. They were obviously more emotionally affected by their services. They raised their hands, they clapped, and they sang better and louder. In addition to that, they talked more about their faith in their everyday conversation and their churches were almost always larger, with lots more young people my own age in them. To me, it was an open-and-shut case. The question was not whether or not I should leave the Lutheran church for a church with more life, but precisely which church I should choose.
Escaping Through the Flames - There were many things which eventually caused me to flee the Pentecostal world and which led me back into the Lutheran church, but one of the main things was the realization that all that emotion and outward activity conceals a fundamental misdirection. All of those things by which Pentecostals show "commitment" and zeal, all of those things by which they show they've truly "surrendered to God," do not line up with the things that Christ taught us about our spiritual condition, about the faith we are to hold in him, and about the church he established on earth for us through his apostles.
Put more directly, many of the things Pentecostals claim the Bible says, it doesn't.
They've taken a lot of things out of context, and as a result have completely misrepresented Christian faith.
When I got involved in Pentecostalism, I was not getting involved in a "new move of God," but instead was getting involved in the latest form of a very old religious tendency: Pietism.
Historically speaking, Pietism was "the seventeenth-century reaction within Lutheranism against what it considered the cold, abstract, argumentative nature of Lutheran orthodoxy. Pietism stressed 'the religion of the heart,' an experiential, warm, affectional, and often sentimental, view of the Faith."
"Pietism later spread to the Reformed churches and it was a hallmark of Wesleyanism. Though the early pietists were not against orthodoxy as such, their sentimental and man-centered view of Christianity laid the groundwork for nineteenth-century Protestant liberalism."
"More generally, pietism today refers to a sentimental, privatized Christianity, which sees the Faith almost exclusively in terms of an individualized, emotional experience." (I've quoted this definition from a glossary at Reformation Online.)
Pietistic practices serve mainly to keep one's pride satisfied. One can feel like one is more truly spiritual and more truly alive in that setting for quite awhile, but as time goes on its flaws become more and more apparent. It's a façade that lets one more effectively mask (even to oneself) the lack of real spiritual substance. That's what happened to me. I now knew beyond all doubt that it was empty and I badly needed something else.
 | | The Pentecostal Church - an "on fire" church |
Plus, in actual experience, the first Pentecostal church I joined - the one for which I had left the Lutheran church - collapsed in a red-hot scandal ten years later. The collapse involved blatant false doctrine linked to sexual scandal in the leadership. The exodus from that church was followed in my life by a long, unsuccessful search for another Pentecostal church "as good as" the first one had been in the beginning. But all I found was disillusionment with the general instability and wackiness I experienced in all other charismatic and Pentecostal churches, for that was the mid-90's - the days of the "Toronto Blessing"/"laughing revival." That (among other things) led me to re-examine most Pentecostal doctrines and then to the conclusion that they were in fact not from the Bible.
Back for Good - In contrast to what I believed while in the Pentecostal church, Lutheranism has taught me:
1) Justification is truly through faith alone, in Christ alone.
Here I should add that the term "faith" must be properly understood, or the significance of this statement will pass one by. "Faith" does not mean primarily something we do, an act of believing or "accepting," but a real ongoing trust in the gospel, that is, in God's promises that forgiveness of our sins, righteousness, and eternal life are freely given to us by God because of Jesus' death in our stead. This faith is created within a person only by the Holy Spirit through hearing (or reading) this word of the gospel. Through that hearing, through baptism, and through the supply of the Lord's body and blood in the Lord's Supper, grace is given to me—my sins are forgiven, and my faith is created and nourished.
2) A clear understanding of sanctification: freedom from legalism.
Sanctification is not our work but the Spirit's work in us. My failure to recognize this previously led me into legalism, and then - as legalism always does - into alternating bouts of self-condemnation and self-righteousness.
3) A true appreciation and celebration of the Lord's Supper.
Having my attention directed by Lutheran doctrine to what Jesus actually stated about the Lord's Supper has greatly expanded my appreciation of it. The bread IS the body that was given for us; the wine IS the blood that was shed for the forgiveness of our sins. By partaking of that body and blood, we receive the forgiveness of sins, as well as that which the forgiveness of sins brings: life and salvation. Partaking of it in churches in which it is properly understood and served has given me the spiritual depth that it was meant to give.
While in the charismatic and Pentecostal churches, which say the bread and the wine merely symbolize Christ's body and blood, I was always left a little puzzled about the purpose of the Lord's Supper and consequently was always left feeling somewhat unfulfilled by it. How does eating some bread and drinking some wine (or, as it was more usually served in Pentecostal churches, grape juice) really symbolize the Lord's death to me, or to anybody else who might be there? It truly seemed to be an empty ceremony. Maybe that was why it was so seldom celebrated in the Pentecostal and charismatic churches that I knew.
4) A balanced understanding of the Holy Spirit's role.
The Holy Spirit is given to bring us into the relation of sons to the Father, through adoption into Christ by faith. It is by the Holy Spirit that we are able to cry "Abba, Father!" If we don't have the Spirit, we are none of His - all with faith that God has brought them salvation in Christ have the gift of the Spirit whether they've spoken in tongues or not. The Holy Spirit wasn't given to supply us with permanent signs and wonders (though those served well in their time to authenticate the apostles as the founders of the church), but to give permanent life in Christ. Seeking the "miraculous" gifts (tongues & interpretation of tongues, healing, prophecy, word of knowledge, etc.) led me into fanaticism and frustration, for it became increasingly obvious to me as time went on that those churches that claimed to be operating such "gifts of the Spirit" were really not producing any authentic instances of them at all, but instead were leading people into doubt because what the Pentecostals claimed was the normative picture of the church was never realized in actual fact.
5) A real application of Sola Scriptura.
Lutheranism truly makes Scripture its only source and norm of doctrine. It's not scripture plus tradition (as Romanists and the Eastern Orthodox think), scripture plus reason (Calvinists and the Reformed), or scripture plus spiritual experiences (Pentecostals and charismatics), but only the scriptures.
6) And on the other hand, a real place for the church in history and in one's life.
The church is not simply a formless collection of individual believers who interpret the Bible by themselves, but it is the body of Christ. Believers together hear the Word taught by the ministers God has given in the church - it's the way He intended for us to hear the Word taught. It is a visible institution that can be identified readily by its preaching of the pure gospel of God's grace in Jesus, and by its celebration of baptism and the Lord's Supper as Christ instituted them for us.
Finally, just to have seven items, that truly we may have the number of perfection...
7) There's nothing wrong with beer! It is to be enjoyed!
Luther was a lover of beer.
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