I think my cousin Amy, English major and writer du jour, died a little inside and has no idea why...

Some of these are freaking hilarious.

If you've noticed that I haven't been doing my "Yummy Chocolate of the Day" thing lately, there is a perfectly good reason. Although the last few pieces I ate were kind of gross, I was ready to finish them and move on. Unfortunately, when I got the box out of the fridge and took it into the living room, I somehow lost my grip on it and spilled the remaining few. That wouldn't have been so bad, but they rolled into one of those hidden caches of dog fur that I never seem to find when I am sweeping. Ergo, it was a total loss. :( However, I am willing to gather myself up and carry on! It just means I get to buy more chocolate! Woo-Hoo!!!

If nothing else, I am fairly certain that I don't ever want to bungee jump.

That is all.

Again.

Is your blog annoying?

This is a list of 13 Blog Cliches that I found at Codinghorror.com. If you read this list and find that you are guilty of at least 3 of these things...well, consider yourself informed.

That is all.

Steve has a cousin who likes to introduce me as "Stephen's first wife." I was thinking about that the other day and asked Steve (which I call him, even if his family doesn't) what his next wife would be like. He said he was going to have to find a wife who likes Disney World and Glen Larson tv shows.

Poor guy.

I mean, I'm sure he won't have any trouble finding a woman who likes Disney World, mainly because I think most people do, but finding a woman who likes Glen Larson...

Bless his heart. *shakes head*

WEEKEND UPDATE! Oh, yeah...

FRIDAY: I started out the weekend embarrassing myself. For some strange reason I brought the headband that I bought in Miami - the one with wooly little lamb ears attached to it - to work. They've been here for months, hiding away in the drawer of my desk that I keep my emergency lunch and other junk in. Friday afternoon, I was feeling a little silly, so I put them on and wore them around the office. At some point I got busy and promptly forgot that they were on my head. I finished out the day and when I got home, Steve asked why I was wearing them. "Wearing what?" I asked, confused. He pulled them off of my head and I about fainted. I had delivered signs and walked around downstairs for a while, all the time completely oblivious that I was wearing lamb's ears on my head. I had wondered why I was getting some strange looks, but I get them so often that I have ceased to think about it much. *Dies* I was so embarrassed. Well, after I recovered, Steve and I went to church for the Teacher's Appreciation Dinner that we have every year. I had been asked to sing, so I had to go early and practice. I was also unaware that the hostess committee was catering the thing, so I helped out where I could in the kitchen until it started. Everything went well, even my song I suppose. We didn't have a very good sound system down in the fellowship hall and I had only gotten the song on wednesday and I wasn't completely confortable with it, but hey...it was fine. We had a good time. : )

SATURDAY: I woke up early and decided that I was going to go and get groceries early before the crowds got out. I went to the Super Wal-Mart over the mountain since it's open 24 hours and closer than the other one in South Huntsville. I'm glad I did, because even though the mountain isn't that high, the scenery out there is beautiful in the mornings. Someday I will take pictures, but I think I'll wait until fall to do so. There weren't that many people out, thank goodness, so I was able to take my time and wonder around at my leisure. My only problem with this particular Wal-Mart is that they have 900 checkout lanes and usually only two people running registers. Granted, they have the self check out lanes, which I love and will normally go to, but with a cart full of groceries you just can't do that. So I waited, and waited, and waited in line behind three people who had less than five items each. Did they decide to go to the self checkout lanes? Noooooooooooo. By the time my ice cream had started to melt, I was able to check out and finally go home. Steve still hasn't replaced my trunk liner after the battery acid incident, so I had to carefully place my stuff all around the spare tire and hope for the best. It still ripped two of my bags, but if that is the worst that happened, I don't have too many problems! Once I got home and got the cold stuff put away, I had lunch and watched Jake 2.0 with Steve. It's actually a pretty good show if you can get past the silliness of it all. Of course, that can be said about a lot of sci-fi shows. After that the new Flash Gordon came on and I tuned it out. I hated the original movie, but at least it had a campy element to keep you interested. The new TV show is just...unfortunate. : ) Steve had to go into work after that, which seems to be a habit with him lately...BOO! I had another nap attack, and slept the sleep of the blessed as the afternoon went by. At my request, Steve brought Dreamland home for dinner and I had forgotten just how good their ribs are. We don't eat there much, but that's probably for the best. I'd die of a severe cardiac thrombosis if I ate there as much as I wanted too! We were going to go to our friend's house that night, but Steve wasn't feeling well when he got home and it had started to storm, so we passed on it this time. I love lying there and listening to thunder and rain. It makes me sleepy, but it's such a soothing sound. I've missed rain this past summer, so I enjoyed the storm and watched it out of the window until it was over. After that, I have no idea what I did. It must not have been too important if I can't remember. Well, either that or the CIA blanked out those few hours for plausible deniability.

SUNDAY: Sunday started out as normal except that Steve was still sick. Allergy season has officially begun again. I went on to church to do my secretary stuff and about halfway through that I started feeling sick as well. I went home and fell asleep. We both pretty much lay around feeling sick until it was time for bed. Allergies suck. However, I did happen to watch the movie Alien vs. Predator with him, mainly because I was in the room at the time, and it was wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I even found myself cheering for the Predator guy a couple of times. I will say this, though. I don't know if I've ever seen a movie with more mucus in it in my life. Yuckers.

In other news, my friend Ed (whom I occasionally accuse of being the devil) has found another job and will be leaving our happy little family next week. Sigh. Another one bites the dust.

...and I thought my contempt for almost all things Disney was fully explored.

Oy, Vey.

RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGGING

1) I no longer sleep. OK, well, I sleep a little, but every morning at about 2:30 -3:00 I pop wide awake and lie there wondering what woke me up. I have no idea what it is that makes me wake up, but it sure is effective! I wish I could have a little bit of it in the middle of the day when the not sleeping catching up with me. Oy. I had to get up and go into the living room so that I wouldn't wake up Steve with my tossings and turnings, let the dogs out so that Butler wouldn't bat at his kennel door and keep me awake in the event that I did doze off and scrounge up a blanket that didn't leave my feet sticking out. After all of that and an hour of staring at the shadows on the wall, I did fall asleep again. Of course, at about 5:30 I was woken by the sound of a death match cage fight in the backyard, so I had to let the dogs back in. I looked out to see what they were barking at and I thought I was hallucinating. In the street I saw a person walk by and then a black shape with flashing red lights all over it. At first I thought it was a really large remote control car or something, but it was a dog wearing a flashing collar. Whahuh? Actually, it was that dog plus three others and two people walking them. No wonder Butler and Bear were freaking out. If I looked towards the street and saw blurry flashing things, I'd probably bark at them too. Bear said he thought it was aliens.

2) I've bitten my lip and due to the fact that it's swollen up, I keep biting it. I really hate that.

3) I got scared at Wal-Mart yesterday. Steve and I were walking down the frozen food aisles and the cases were all dark. As we walked by them, the lights started turning on. When we'd pass a section of it, the lights would go off again. I started thinking that there must be some kind of weird electrical issue going on. When I left Steve behind and walked up another freezer case aisle to find something and the lights followed me again, I started running because I thought that someone was just playing a trick on me. Yeah, I know...get the foil hats, right? Well, I finally figured that I could confuse whoever was messing with the lights by shoving my cart hard and letting it roll ahead of me. As the cart passed, the lights went on and off! I was feeling fairly smug for outsmarting the joker who was playing with the lights until I realized that there was some kind of light sensor that this particular Wal-Mart had installed above the cases so that they didn't have to waste energy by leaving the lights on all of the time. I was setting off the lights because I was breaking the beam. *shame* I can only imagine what the security video of me must look like. People like me should be required to have supervision in public places.

The cat dreams are back...for the love of Pete, the cat dreams are back.

They were everywhere.

My uncle Ken passed away on Sunday and his funeral was today. He died of complications due to Alzheimer's disease, one of the most undignified and cruel sicknesses I have ever encountered. I didn't mention it before because I was kind of at odds with myself on the way I felt about it. There is a part of me that doesn't really feel anything and that makes me feel rather small. To be frank, I didn't know him that well, and what I did know about him...well, was unpleasant. To be completely bald about it, he always seemed like a real bastard. I hope God will forgive me for thinking that, but it's true. That seems odd, because his wife, my aunt, and his kids were always some of my favorite relatives and I have always been close to them. It's strange to think that a man so closely related to them would be such a mystery to me. He wasn't a friendly man, but that could be chalked up to many things. Maybe he was shy or just a self contained kind of person. I found out today he was in the Korean war and was awarded the bronze star twice. He was also an engineer. It makes me wish I had made an effort to know him better. I choose to believe that I just didn't see the best part of him, which is the part that was the soldier, husband, and father. I am not the kind of person to give new and more flattering elements to a person just because they've passed away, but I want to think I was wrong about him. I also hate that he had to die the way he did. I know you don't have to like your family, heck, there are a lot of people in my family I don't like...but I also feel that there should be a respect there, even of the faintest kind. I feel bad that I never tried to find out the things about him that should have been respected.

He didn't have a funeral per se, but a grave side service only. I had never been to a military service before and I now know that if you want to get a chill on a 102 degree day, you can get it by hearing TAPS played and watching soldiers do the flag folding ceremony. He was buried at Maple Hill Cemetery, which is a beautiful and OLD cemetery not far from where I live. I like to go there and take pictures in the fall and spring. I can't help it. I hate funerals, but I love cemeteries (go figure), especially old ones and there are graves there that stretch back to early Alabama statehood. Big statues and really elaborate headstones. I have never had any problems finding my way around the place until today. While trying to find a way in, I completely passed the whole shebang once, almost ran down a fellow mourner, and somehow got lost and then stuck behind a backhoe, which caused me to have to back up into the grass. I'm not completely sure, but I think I drove over some dead folks while turning around. I apologized for doing it, but you never know how dead folks are going to feel about being driven over. I also realized, almost too late, that B.B King & Eric Clapton are not the most appropriate kind of music to be played loudly while driving through a cemetery to a funeral. Neither is Big & Rich. Luckily, "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" got turned down in time. : )

I also came to realize that I not only hate summer, but I also hate pantyhose and high heeled shoes. A combination of the three will almost put me in a frenzy of loathing. Now, however, I'm seated within the vortex of three fans and an air conditioning unit, so I think I'll make it this time. However, for future reference, I just think people should have the decency to die in the winter so as not to necessitate me having to deal with all three things at once.

That was a joke. Close your mouths. Gah.

This made me laugh, so I needed to share:

WEEKEND UPDATE!

My update is going to be a little spare this time owing to the fact that even though the weekend started out promising, it ended very much subdued.

FRIDAY: I had to work, of course, as I normally do on Fridays. earlier in the week we had planned on going to see a concert on the mountain with Anthony and a friend of Steve's that I had never met before, but that fell through when it started to rain. We cancelled the concert, but we still had dinner with Anthony later on that evening. We watched "Best in Show" while waiting for Anthony to arrive, and it was hilarious. I had only ever seen a tiny bit of it before, but I loved it. I like the mokumentary style of moviemaking, I guess. Plus, there were dogs. I had also taken this time to expirement with my hair a little bit. Since it's gotten so long I've been having trouble deciding how to fix it, so I wanted to see what it would look like if I used hot rollers in it like I did when I was in high school. Wow. I doubt that the entire 1985 Grand Ol Opry lineup had bigger hair than I did. Needless to say, I don't think I'll be using those curlers again for a while. We went to dinner and then out for coffee at the local (well, one of the local) Starbucks. It has been a long time since I've been to one of those, even though I love their coffee. Oh well, I can get it at Barnes & Noble like a normal person, can't I? : ) We then ajourned back to the house so that I could copy Anthony's "Bo Diddley" CD and regale him with my own iTunes list of mismatched music. Anthony and I have a lot in common music-wise, so that was fun.

Saturday: I did laundry. All day. I had to, or I would have been forced to wear my "second string" wardrobe to work. Somehow, I just don't think my Hot Topic corsets and ill-begotten sequined sweaters are appropriate for my job. They aren't really appropriate for anything, so I'm not sure why I have them at all really! I suppose I had a reason for buying them, but I don't remember what they were! Heeheehee. In the evening, Steve and I played On Demand "Scene It Trivia." I have an unfair advantage in that I can read faster than he can, and so can answer the questions first, but he still beat me on TV and Disney trivia. We were evenly matched on "Friends" trivia, and I totally spanked him on Harry Potter trivia. I suppose that tells you a lot about us, huh? : )

SUNDAY: I slept. I didn't sleep well the night before, and I woke up with some kind of allergic reaction that made it necessary to take Benydryl. That stuff kicks my butt, so I would wake up, doze off, wake up, doze off....and etc. It was a thrilling day.

There, wasn't that exciting?

well, strike that last post. I will not be singing at my parent's church next week because they had to remove the sound system because of renovations.

NEVER MIND!

FYI

If any of you want to hear me sing this Sunday, I will be at my parent's church during the morning worship service. Apparently their current pastor, who was the pastor there when I was much younger, is very excited about me coming to sing and has told everyone to bring their friends.

No pressure or anything, right?

Now, if you will excuse me, I'll be throwing up with nerves until then.

Good grief. My "Me & Mrs. Jones" brain song is back.

Pray for me...

This doesn't even deserve my awesome banner.

YUMMY CHOCOLATE OF THE DAY -- OR NOT

balsamico: 10 year old balsamic vinegar + dark chocolate + roasted Sicilian hazelnuts:

OK, now they are just being mean. Who puts vinegar into chocolate? Huh? VINEGAR? I couldn’t even finish it. I admit defeat. It was gross and I couldn’t even muddle through it like I did with the Kirsch flavored one. In short, it makes baby Jesus cry.

I…I…don’t know what to do… My illusions have been shattered. I need a moment.

WEEKEND UPDATE!

FRIDAY: Although I should be ashamed of myself for being lazy, I'm not. I took the day off just so that I didn't have to go to work. Don't get me wrong, I still like my job, but there are people there that I didn't feel I could spend another minute around and so I took some time away from them before I had to kill them. I felt it was the christian thing to do. : ) I honestly didn't do much of importance except for a little grocery and "end-of-summer" sale shopping. I did all of this fairly early and was able to get home before noon. After that, I was useless. I sat back to work on a piece of art that I've been doing in dribs and drabs over the last few weeks. It's needlework and very time consuming, so I usually only do it when I have some free time. I was at it for about twenty minutes and I think I just plain passed out. Not in a bad way, but in that "Nap Attack" way that sneaks up on you and takes you down without prior notice. I didn't mean to, but I wound up sleeping for about three hours. I woke up totally confused. Since I had been so useless all that day, I offered to mow the front lawn while Steve had dinner. I made fun shapes in the grass and then destroyed them. Next time I plan on trying to write my name. In cursive! Oh, and I also didn't kill any animals this week, so YAY for me! When I came back inside, I had a headache from all of the pollen and dust that I stirred up, but it wasn't too bad. However, after sitting down for a few minutes to find something on the Internet, I stood up to walk into the kitchen and promptly fell over in the floor clutching my head. I have no idea what happened, but it felt like I had been shot! I lay there for several minutes and then I was fine. I guess that was my first ever guerrilla headache. Boo.

SATURDAY: I was a bum. I think this was the single most unproductive day I have spent in a long while. Steve had promised to help some of his friends do some work, so I was on my own for most of the day. I had intentions, oh yes, intentions of the best variety, but they never came to fruition. Why, you may ask? Well, as I was flipping through the channels looking for something interesting to have on as background noise, and A&E was playing the "Pride and Prejudice" mini-series that Collin Firth was in. I was sucked in immediately. Collin Firth is so dreamy. : ) During commercials and such, I harvested some tomatoes, peppers and onions out of my stoop garden and decided that I would make some salsa. I was fine until I started working on the peppers. I was careful to wash my hands and wear my glasses while I was cutting them, but I managed to inhale some jalapeno juice and it set my nose on fire. Youch! When I finally finished cutting everything up, I covered it all in olive oil and set in in the oven (probably not the regular way one makes salsa, but it's what the recipe said to do) and continued to watch the mini-series. Well, apparently washing your hands doesn't get rid of the hot juice that peppers leave on your hands...so I temporarily blinded myself. I also had two cuts on my fingers that suddenly burst into flame. I then took a shower, thinking that would help. However after I'd been out for a couple of hours, I touched my lip and it promptly started to burn...as did my eyes and my face. So I waited for my head to just swell up and explode. Luckily for me this didn't happen. Whew. As for the salsa, I'm beginning to think that I got bad advice from the recipe. When I took everything out of the oven it smelled heavenly, but when I put it in the food processor it all kind of liquefied. Not very salsa-ie. However, I figured that I'd still be able to use it for something, so I just froze it. Waste not, want not...and all of that jazz. I had another nap attack later on in the day and that was pretty much it.

SUNDAY: Sunday was church, of course. I'm going to stop here for a moment and tell you that the pianist we have is so talented! She played my favorite offertory which is a version of "It Is Well With My Soul) that starts out as Moonlight Sonata and then melts into the hymn. Beautiful! Then we went to my parent's house for lunch with the extended family. Steve and I had to run some errands on the way home, so we did that. He dropped me off at the unfortunately named sporting goods store so that I could buy a pair of roller skates. Even though I went online to do research, it lied. Apparently no place I can find in town sells any kind of skates for adults instead of inline skates! I don't want inline skates! I've had those kind and I can't skate on them at all. Oh well, Steve knows a couple of the Huntsville Roller Derby chicks, so I'll get him to ask where they get their skates. Since that place didn't have what I needed, I walked across the parking lot to Petsmart to meet Steve, who was buying toys for our dogs. Bear recently gutted Pele, his stuffed soccer ball that he loved more than life and they had also destroyed Duck Bennedict, their shared stuffed duck. We got them a second duck (Mallory) and a stuffed quail (Dan). They should have some fun with them. On my way across the parking lot, I thought to myself that it didn't seem so hot, really. However, once I got 2/3 of the way there, I almost passed out. It was 102 degrees, and not a far walk, but it still almost got me. I didn't feel right for the rest of the day. We went to church that night and instead of going to dinner with Mr. Lee, Steve had to bring me home. I hate summer.

Awwwwwwww, crap.

I wasn't paying attention just now and I took too many of my pills. Not enough for me to get really scared about, but more than I'm supposed to take. Great.

Oh, well, if my heart explodes...let the M.E. know it wasn't on purpose.

EDIT: Well, live to fight another day, right? Are you're curious as to why I felt the need to post about this? Well, although I didn't think I'd die from an overdose or anything, but was still kind of worried that I might get sick, I told my co-worker what happened. Just in case, you understand. Instead of even the slightest hint of concern, she was more upset that I would probably not be walking downstairs with her to get lunch. Nice, huh? :P

DON'T FORGET!

If you go to Dairy Queen today (that is, if you're reading this on August 9, 2007) and buy a blizzard, all proceeds from the sales of these delicious treats will go to the Children's Miracle Network! I did this last year - good Lord, was that a year ago already? - and it was totally worth it. So go...get some ice cream. You shouldn't even need a reason, but if you NEED one, this one is better than others.

I recommend the M&M kind, but go with your gut. : )

I've been Simpsonized. Just like every one else!

Do you miss the good 'ol days of Alphoso Roberto?

If so, check this out. : )

I have a confession to make.

I really miss my friend. The funny thing is, he hasn't moved an inch geographically, but he has never seemed so far away.

I can only wonder what I did to cause it.

That's all I have to say about that.

It's almost that time of year again. The time that causes heartache, anger and bloodshed. A time when the weak are obliterated and the strong roll ahead. What is this time, you might ask?

School is starting in two days.

I'm going to have to figure out a way to make it to work even close to on time as I dodge Soccermoms and expensive "daddy-bought-it-for-my-16th-birthday" sports cars. Parents who like to park on my street and let their children out close to the school also manage to clog up our normally quiet suburban street. If you work, and have to be at work, between the hours of 8 and 9 and you live in my neighborhood...you are boned!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if my boss will let me sleep in my office for the first couple of weeks? You know, at least until the first wave of panicked moms and kids with rolling back-packs have thinned out. Probably not.

In other news, I will not be attending school this fall for the first time in over a century. Why? Because God likes me. : ) However, I do have to start paying back my student loans...so BOO!

Just a word of advice...

Never, NEVER put one of these in a Coke Zero. If you do, don't try to cover the opening of the bottle with your mouth. Your head will explode.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go and finish cleaning off my desk. Mentos and Diet Coke couldn't possibly explode with more force than my Coke Zero just did. Yuck.

WEEKEND UPDATE!

Friday evening wasn't a good one for me! I mean, it wasn't terrible, per se, but the crick in my neck that I complained about on Thursday was a full back crick (is there such a thing?) by Friday evening. I have never realized, mainly because I have been blessed enough not to have many problems with it, that when your back hurts - really hurts - you hurt all over. I spent the hours after dinner contorted in various runic shapes trying to pop my spine. I kept thinking that if I could just get one good crackle out of it, I'd be doing so much better! Of course, I also pictured myself paralyzing myself somehow too! By the time I'd wallered all over the living room and guest room, I decided that I needed to do something else. I had taken some Advil and Excedrin throughout the day with no results, so in a fit of desperation I dug out the only one of the prescription pain pills that didn't get stolen and I took it. I can't say that it helped the pain, but I certainly didn't care about it anymore. I lay in the recliner and watched bad 80's music videos with Steve and talked to the dogs. When the medicine finally kicked in fully, I was pretty much immobile and dozing in and out of consciousness. I was going to have to sleep in the recliner because laying down flat hurt too much, so Steve went to bed and left me and the boys in the living room. I 'm going to go out on a limb and say that he should probably be glad I slept in another room, because I think I had a bad few moments of hallucination when I first fell asleep. I don't remember much, just that once I woke up ripping my covers off and only getting tangled up in them, and once again clawing at the air and gasping, I think I might have been afraid my feet were trying to attack me. Whatever else I did was apparently enough for Butler, who's kennel faced the chair I was trying to sleep in. He stood up and batted at the door of his kennel. No amount of telling him to go back to sleep worked. Every time I'd get on the edge of sleep...*bat bat bat*... on the door. I finally got up, and only by the grace of God did I not do a face plant into the coffee table, and took the dogs outside. All the while I was slurring to Butler that he was a wretched, wretched animal and that if I fell down the stairs in the garage while trying to let them outside, he'd better make like Lassie and go get help. Of course, Butler didn't know what I was talking about because he has never seen Lassie, but he promised to get help if he could. After letting them out and not hurting myself in the process, I lay back down in the chair and fell asleep hard. I don't know if I thrashed around or knocked anything over this time, but I had a very bad dream that has bothered me all weekend. Do you know those dreams where you realize you need to go to the bathroom, but every time you find one something makes it impossible to go? Like, the bathroom is dirty or there are no doors on the stalls or someone is talking to you and won't leave you alone? Well, I had a dream similar to that, only this one was more frustrating. I was trying to talk to a friend and whatever it was I needed to tell him was very important, but whenever I got a second to talk to him I'd get interrupted. This kept on happening and kept on happening. Apparently it was a private matter because any time we'd start talking, his wife/girlfriend/mom(?) would walk in and we'd have to stop talking, or he'd get a phone call, or he'd turn away or interrupt me while I was talking. There was only one time I honestly got a chance to tell him whatever it was, and I got distracted! ARGH! I woke up so distraught from that dream that I felt I hadn't slept at all. However, my back had started to feel better, so it wasn't a complete loss! : )

SATURDAY: Because I had such a bad night, I wound up messing up the plans Steve and I had made earlier in the week. He was nice about it so I wouldn't feel too bad, but it's so rare that we make plans together that I was very sorry I messed everything up. We had brunch, but we scrapped the plans to go to the driving range. I ended up sleeping a lot to make up for lost time. We were still able to go to the movies and see "The Simpsons." It was about the way I thought it would be. I'm not saying it was bad, because it wasn't, or that it wasn't funny, because it was, but it was coarse and somewhat vulgar. The Spider Pig song was worth the price of admission alone, though. : ) That night Anthony, Steve and I had dinner at The Outback. We gave them the name "Donner" so that they could call the "Donner Party of 3" (thanks Kenny) but they didn't do it. Maybe they get that joke a lot. Heeheehee. Dinner was fun and so was the company. I told Anthony about my dream and he seems to think I have excess anxiety or abandonment issues. Um....OK.

SUNDAY: This sunday was a little different than normal. We still went to church that morning, but we had lunch with Steve's dad instead of my parents. My family had made other plans, so Steve and I took the chance to be a little lazy. I still wasn't feeling great, so once again I slept a lot that evening. It wasn't anything special, but it was a nice, lazy Sunday. It's always good to have one of those every once in a while, right? : )

YAY! Well, maybe...

This fall the SpRocket will be host to a haunted house type thing the city will be putting on. The PR lady asked if I would please use the descriptions of the different rooms and make sketches of them so that they could get a more visual idea of what they wanted to do.

Well, I don't really sketch. I can draw, but I tend to get lost in the details of whatever I'm drawing, plus I also get messy when I try to draw fast. I decided instead to do computer renderings of the rooms instead. Apparently the folks in charge were so impressed with them that they are going to use my renderings in the official sponsorship meeting! Of course, I'm a little scared to be too glad about that because they could change their minds. However, until they tell me so, I'm excited! I might also get to help build the set, and maybe be a scary thing hiding in the haunted house! Go me!

I love Halloween.

Budapest sweet Hungarian paprika + dark chocolate.

I was scared of this one because I wasn’t sure what paprika was. I mean, I’ve had it before, pretty much specifically on deviled eggs, and I was pretty sure that it didn’t really taste like anything. No, seriously, I thought it was just pretty. Well, it was pretty – maybe not as pretty as the picture – but how was it going to taste? I followed the truffle eating directions and licked the top of the truffle and it was…hmmm, how is the best way to describe the taste…kind of gross. It was dry and bitter. However, I spent a lot of money on these stupid truffles and I am determined to eat every single one (except for the one with olives in it, which I gave to Steve.) When I actually ate the truffle, it was good. I mean, it was really good! Whatever made the paprika dry and bitter mixed with the dark chocolate and suddenly exploded with yumminess! It’s true, it’s TRUE! You can cover something with chocolate and make it palatable! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Also, it apparently makes you laugh somewhat maniacally.

9 out of 10 for proving me right!

I need someone to come to my office and beat me around the head and neck with a padded stick.

WAIT! Before you start lining up for the privilege, it's not just for funzies. I have a crick in my neck that won't go away and I just want someone to loosen my muscles enough for me to turn my head.

Please?

Chef Pascal: Kirsch + dried Michigan cherry + dark chocolate

You know, I have this problem with some foods.
I’m sure everyone does, really, but it seems to be particularly violent with me. If I ever get sick and throw up, whatever I have eaten before my stomacular revolt suddenly becomes revolting to me. No, seriously. For example, 10 years ago I had dinner at Checker’s Drive Through without the slightest idea that I was in the early stages of stomach flu. To this day I can’t even drive past one of those restaurants without my gag reflex kicking in. I tell you this seemingly non sequitar tale to explain what I had to fight against when eating this particular truffle. I know what Kirsch is and I know it’s strong. I’ve had chocolate liquors before with very little problem, but there was something about this particular one was disgusting. Not just bad, but one I had to struggle against to keep from barfing it up. I knew that if I lost the war. I’d never be able to eat the rest of these candies, and I’ll be ding-danged if I throw away the monetary equivalent of a decent pair of shoes. It was nasty. There was a dried cherry on top of it, which did nothing to help, and the inside had that same cough syrup taste inside of it as the Alexis one. Only this time it wasn’t subtle. Eating this was like the time I accidentally took a swig of Jack Daniels. I struggled with it, I won.
0 out of 10, because I’m offended that it exists.