BLOGGED ALONG THE WAY: WILD WILD WEST EDITION #2

UTAH

The next few days were spent in various places in the great state of Utah. If there is one thing that stuck out for me, it was the fact that there are a LOT of white people in Utah. A lot. It was also colder than I thought it would be. The morning we left St. George, I dressed in clothes that were appropriate for the blazing, hell-like temperatures that we had encountered the day before. Unfortunately, a tank top and shorts were a little too exposed for what felt like early spring to me. I had to suck it up, though, because there wasn't any way I could go back and change when I realized it. At any rate, we went on our way. Our first stop was Cedar Break and Bryce Canyon.

CEDAR BREAK & BRYCE CANYON

DAY 3 – Monday, June 25, 2007: On our way to Cedar Break, Steve tried to kill me. Don't let him lie and say it was an accident either. We had stopped at one of the many turn-offs along the road, which allow the interested motorist to stop and take pictures of the gorgeous scenery from the vantage point towards the top of the mountain. This “scenic overlook” happened to be at the edge of a cliff, but offered up a lovely view of the valley and surrounding mountains. I had taken a couple of shots and found a wildflower that I wanted to shoot. That's one thing I do on trips like this is to try and take as many macros of wildflowers that I can find, as long as they are different from the ones at home.
But I digress.
I knelt down by the plant and began focusing, and all of a sudden Steve came rushing towards me. Here I am on the edge of a cliff, kneeling down with my back to the very LONG drop, and Steve tried to push me off. Well, that's what it felt like, anyways. He actually lost his footing and slipped, landing on his butt and sliding into me. I had the whole bloody and painful fall played out in my head in about 4 seconds before I realized that Steve and I had not fallen over the edge. Once the dust settled and we both realized we were still alive, we laughed hysterically. I don't think that it was all that funny, but it was either laugh, or faint. I didn't want to faint at the edge of a cliff. When Steve and I pulled ourselves back together, we all got back into the car and drove off towards Cedar Break.
Cedar Break is a big, rocky hole in the side of a mountain. Well, that is much less romantic sounding than it really is. It's a beautiful, rocky hole in the middle of a mountain. It is like a little version of Bryce Canyon, and you can see the various levels of strata in the rock, as well as some very lovely “hoodoos.” A hoodoo is a new thing for me. It is a tall spire of rock, shaped by the wind and rain, and it can look like all manners of things. It's basically big needles of rock that are slowly, but surely, falling away from the larger area of rock. We stayed there for a while, while Mr. Lee took his stereo camera onto some (shhhh) off limit trails. Steve and I were still a little shaken from our near-death experience, so we sat on a big log and continued to be happy to be alive. Once we left there, we went on our way to Bryce Canyon. We were technically in the Dixie National Forest, which we were told was named such because the settlers felt that since it was far enough south from Salt Lake City, it was just as much south as the real Dixie was. Before we left, Mr. Lee stopped at a place that he knew of off the beaten track. It was so beautiful. It was a large meadow with a stream running through it. It was so perfect that it almost didn't look real. Mr. Lee and I took pictures while Steve wandered around. There were no other tourists there, so we could take pictures without anyone being in the way. It was, by far, one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen anywhere. This is from someone who loves the beach more than any place on earth, but I would go back to that meadow and stay in a second. When we drove off, we passed through a place that reminded me a lot of the town in the Pixar movie “Cars”. It was a tiny town that catered to the people traveling to Bryce Canyon. It was a perfect example of a one street town. There were all kinds of motels with interesting names and street signs that would make James Lileks wet his pants. We had lunch in that town and then finally made it to Bryce. We stayed in a place called “Bryce View Inn, which was an offshoot of the Ruby Inn – a place once opened by a Mormon family in the early 20th century. Once we got settled, we drove on to the different look out points along the canyon. There were so many beautiful places that it's hard to describe. Lots of hoodoos, canyons, trees...just all kinds of nature. I took a million photos, I think. Although it was strictly prohibited, some lady was feeding the ravens pistachio nuts, and they wouldn't go away. Those freaking birds were HUGE. I'm not kidding. They would come right up to you and stand there, so I'm sure that all kinds of people feed them, but they were so big that they started to get scary. I was able to get some pretty good shots of them, but when they started ganging up on me, I got into the car. : ) We were out there for several hours, and I got to see the moon come up over the canyon's edge. It was so beautiful. At some point that day I got severely sunburned (of course, I didn't know it because it didn't seem that hot) and I got some pretty bad mosquito bites on my shoulder blades. One of the bugs must have been as big as a humming bird because the bite it left on me was the size of a silver dollar! Hastared bugs. By the time night came on, we got back to our hotel and slept. Unfortunately for me, I kept waking up in the middle of the night and so the next day I was exhausted.

DAY 4 –Tuesday, June 26, 2007: Today was a day of ramblings. We would be staying in Zion National Park for the next few nights, but since we didn't have to be there for a while, Mr. Lee took us on a trek to Escalante. There is a place out here that is basically a staircase of cliffs where each step is a different color based on the strata layer it encompasses. Of course, you have to drive many miles between steps, but it was something we wanted to see. We stopped at a couple of places on the topmost step, where everything is white to take pictures. We were going on to a place called “Long Canyon” which was at least two layers down from where we were. At the next level, drove through an area that made me feel as if were were in a road runner cartoon. If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch an episode and look at the landscape. Lots of orange rocks and cactus were along the way. We stopped for dinner at this place where there was no air conditioning and the waiter was named Pavel. We were the only patrons at the time. The food was good, the atmosphere was nice, and the music was late 90's college radio. All in all, not bad. We went on from there and drove for what seemed like ages to get into the canyon. It was beautiful. I know I keep saying that, but it's so hard to explain if you can't see it yourself. Red rock walls rose on each side, and cottonwoods grew along because we were near a river. It was striking contrasts of both color and texture all around us. We stopped at a crevasse in the mountain and got out to take pictures. It was amazing to stand in this giant crack in this mountain. The shade was at least 20 degrees cooler and the constant breeze blew in and whistled around us. That was another thing about being where we were. In almost every place we visited, it was quiet. I don't mean the kind of quiet that you might be used to, but silence. Even with cars occasionally driving by, there is this great QUIET around you out here. It's peace.
When we left the canyon, we drove back the way we came and went on to Zion National Park.

ZION

I wish, I wish, I wish that I could tell you how beautiful Zion was. It was huge, and beautiful, and it almost didn't make sense to me because it was so alien from what I am used to. Huge rock outcroppings, enormous cliffs, and sheer mountain walls were all around us. It was literally breathtaking. We stayed in a tiny burg called Springdale, which is a place which is specifically created to cater to the families and hikers who come to see the place. Zion was first settled by Mormon settlers and soon grew to be a favorite spot for campers, climbers, hikers and families who want to get acquainted with nature. We got settled in our hotel “Bumbleberry Inn”, don't you just love the name? The mountains rose all around us, and as we sat in the cafe, I watched the sun paint the striped rocks as it went down. I can't imagine what it would be like to live in a place like Zion all year round. The tourists would suck, of course, but if you could get used to that...oh, my. I had to wash some clothes in the bathtub, and I laid them out to dry on our tiny back porch. I knew that the dry air would dry them before morning, but I was nervous leaving them out all night because I'm not that familiar with the kind of critters that live in semi-arid mountainous areas. When morning came, I went out and found to my delight that the clothes were indeed dry. However, as I was picking them up, I saw something on the ground that hadn't been there the night before. I saw what I thought was a crab claw. I thought that someone had eaten crabs the night before and had thrown the shells down and one had managed to wind up on our porch. Well, I'm sure that I don't have to tell you that it wasn't a crab claw. It was a scorpion claw. A scorpion claw so big that I thought it came from a crab. Oh. My. God. At least I can say that it wasn't still attached to whatever monster scorpion that had lost it, but that didn't make me feel better. I grabbed all of our clothes and ran inside. I shook and pounded all of those clothes until I was sure there was nothing living in them. I still don't feel better about it. *shudder*

EDIT: Upon further examination, and by that I mean that I made Steve go out and look closer, the monster scorpion claw...was plastic. So I'd like to say thanks to the kid who broke his toy and managed to scare the crap out of me. SAAAAAAALUTE!

BLOGGED ALONG THE WAY: What I did during my Memorial Day Weekend Part 1

THURSDAY

Greetings, gentle reader! Although you probably haven't given a fig where I have been for the past few days, you should know by now that I don't care and I'm going to tell you anyway.

I'm not allowed to say that I am going on a trip before hand, for obvious reasons, but yes, I have been on a trip. A road trip of sorts, to Texas where I attended a Pratt family reunion. Don't worry, you'll get to hear all about that, but humor me by allowing me to start at the beginning of my tale.

We left on Thursday morning, after playing "Which Dog Will Be Harder to Control" while we took them to the pet resort. Bear seemed to be resigned of the fact that he would be staying with the Jones Valley Animal Resort folks for a few days, but, as usual, Butler spent the whole ride over trying to talk us out of leaving them there. Ever since he came home missing that tooth, he is afraid of what they will remove off of him every time he goes. Surprisingly, except for the normal wallerings and jumpings that we always deal with when we take the boys to the resort, they behaved quite nicely. Butler narrowly escaped being eaten by a miniature dachshund, but with the vet's quick reflexes, Butler made it past him without incident. Shut up, Kenny.

Unfortunately, instead of having my head about me when I was trying to get Bear into the car, I forgot my purse, so when Mr. Lee came to pick us up, I had to ask him to take me to the bank to take care of what should have been a fairly simple, in-and-out errand. However, apparently I had my deposit slip written in Klingon and they had to call in a specialist to decipher it. So that put us behind by about half an hour, which made me feel rather terrible, but we were soon on our way.

After looking at a magazine and listening to talk radio, I ended up getting irritated at one of the radio guys (political stuff, you know) and I plugged into my iPod to listen to the 5th book of Harry Potter. I began work on another afghan, which was supposed to be a gift for Steve. However, when he complained about my color choices, I imposed upon him a life-long afghan ban, so now this one I'm making will go to my brother. That probably sounds harsh, but when someone (and by someone I mean me) decides to go to the trouble of crocheting you something as big and time consuming as a blanket, don't piss them (me) off. Don't worry, I'll make him a hat. : )

Because I was so intent on what I was doing, when we stopped at a Zaxby's for lunch, I had no idea where we were. I went out to get us a table, and I was just about to ask where we had stopped when I looked up and saw a giant University of Alabama collage. Of course, I kind of figured where we might be, but I asked anyways. I mean, I knew we were in the STATE of Alabama, so it was still possible that it was just there because of that. I shouldn't have asked. I was then given the visual tour of the place and all things hounds tooth and Bama was pointed out to me. So, I suppose I can now say I've been to Tuscaloosa. Never been there before, and I wasn't impressed. However, to be fair, I didn't see enough of it to form a complete opinion of it. I suppose I'll need to go back one day, as long as it isn't during a game. I've heard that the town is hell on wheels during football season!

It's weird to have dinner out with Steve and his dad. They don't talk much. I grew up in a family where we always talked when we had meals together, and I always forget the "Can't Talk, Eating" rule and try to have conversations. Yeah, got to get out of that habit of wanting interaction.

So we drove on, hitting the Mississippi visitor's center. That's the great thing about traveling with Mr. Lee, he likes to stop at the visitor's centers and roadside stands, which I always like to do. I got a piece of an emu egg and took a picture of my feet. It was thrilling.

The next place we stopped was the Louisiana welcome station. I'm not exactly sure what was going on in that place, but the workers jump you as soon as you open the door. We had only gone in to use the facilities, but the vulture-like welcome wagon wanted to give us a map...no, please, come back and get a map. MAP! MAP! I was scared. I scurried out to the ladies room before they could physically restrain me and force some literature in my hands. The bathrooms also had what looked like prison toilets. No lids, no funny business, so do what you need to do and leave. However, they were clean and that is what mattered! I didn't realize that Steve and his dad were already in the car, so I spent a few minutes walking about and snapping pictures. I found some interesting stuff in the vending machines, but I didn't buy any of it. Who really wants to eat something called "Crawtaters?" As I was leaving, I was once again accosted by the Village of the Damned Welcome Wagon and I was asked to sign their book and get the map. I took the map and some other random literature because I didn't want them following me down to the car with anything. Granted, I knew they were trying to be friendly, but they came across as both scary and desperate. Also, when I turned around and told them to have a nice day, they didn't seem to know how to respond. OK, then. From there we drove through Slidell and over Lake Pontchartrain. I was amazed at how much was still destroyed after Katrina. Whole neighborhoods, businesses, hotels, still in tatters. You could see that building was being done, but it was still like a ghost town. So sad. We passed N'Awlins proper, and even though things seem to be getting back to normal, it was still so battered. It gave me a whole new appreciation for what happened down there. Mr. Lee decided to show us around downtown New Orleans, and he drove down Bourbon Street so I could see it. I really couldn't tell much about it because we were driving, and the street is so narrow and the buildings so tall. One thing I did notice was that Hustler apparently owns many, many, MANY buildings along that street, and if you so desire, you can go inside and meet a few of the young ladies who work there. I silently hoped that even though Mr. Lee was driving, he had his eyes closed. He stopped in the French Quarter so I could get out and look around. I've never been to New Orleans, but now I'm hot to go back again so that I can take more pictures. We didn't go far, but we walked down one street and went in a few shops. I was able to get my requisite mini snow globe, and we went into another business where I found a couple of books on local color that I liked. While in there, I had to ask Mr. Lee to go to the other side of the store because of some of the more "Mardi Gras" type things that they were selling. I was mortified. He's my father-in-law, which is close enough to being my dad that now I'm scarred for life knowing he saw them. Dad's just aren't supposed to know things like that exist. I don't care what anyone says. : )

We needed to head on, but Mr. Lee wanted us to have some beignets, or French donuts as they kept being called. We went to Cafe du Monde (or something like that) and had some. They were wonderful. I also had a cafe au lait that will haunt my dreams. It was so good. I was able to get a few pictures, but not even a quarter of what I wanted. That's why I'm determined to go back!

Not much else happened after that. We drove on to Baton Rouge and got a hotel room. This was where I realized a couple of things. One, I had forgotten my pajamas. Granted, I could have slept naked, but no one needs to be subjected to that. Plus, I don't think Grandma would appreciate it. Two, my face was burned. Not sunburned, but apparently there was an unfortunate mix of facial cleansers or something going on there. It hurt, I do know that! So we had to make a Wal-Mart run to rectify the situations. Then, blessed sleep. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

FRIDAY

I woke up Friday morning in a Baton Rouge hotel room (sounds like the beginning of a questionable country song, doesn't it?) freezing to death. I've noticed that in hotel rooms, they are either stuffy or freezing. Hardly ever are they comfortable. Anyways, I got up to get ready for my day and I realized two things almost immediately. One, whomever decided that florescent lighting in the bathroom was a good idea, was an idiot. No woman wants to get up first thing and see what they really look like! We want shadows and forgiving lighting. Two, big mirrors that run the length of the wall are embarrassing while you're changing clothes. You think you know what you look like sometimes, and then you catch a glimpse of yourself in these mirrors. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh.

After the lovely continental breakfast, we got back on the road. We spent most of the rest of that afternoon driving towards Conroe, Texas, where Grandma lives. I had been here once before, but had somehow slept most of the way. Today I got to see where we were headed. We crossed the Mississippi river (huge) and drove across a bridge that seemed to go on forever. Apparently it crosses about a billion miles on Louisiana wetlands, or swamps, if you will. Some of the places we drove through were beautiful. When we got to the border of LA, we stopped at the Texas welcome center where there is a really long walkway through a wetland that is so interesting. Spanish moss, water lilies, duckweed, cypress trees...you see so many beautiful things. My only problem that was that there were a lot of bugs. A lot. One flew into my shirt, and it was only the grace of God that it flew out quickly, or I would have soon been running naked through the swamps of east Texas. I don't like bugs.

After that we weren't that far away from Grandma. We passed through a place called "Cut & Shoot, Texas. Population 1158" and it made the Athens that I grew up in look like a thriving metropolis. It stretched about 6 miles and consisted of a police station/town hall, a post office, and a vegetable stand. Everything else we saw was houses, but there weren't many of those. We finally made it to Conroe and found Grandma's street. Of course, the first thing Steve and I did was take a nap. When I woke up, I felt horrible.

***ASIDE*** The woman that I work with brought her crud into my office in one of the many, many, MANY times she comes in to talk to me (uninvited) and she never once covered her mouth when she coughed. She also felt that it was a good idea to bring her sick one year old to work with instead of leaving her with her dad, who doesn't work at the moment or staying at home with her (because it would take up her sick leave and vacation time that she wants to use during Christmas. Don't even get me started.) and she brought the little girl into my office at least twice and let her touch things. Seriously, if your kid is sick, KEEP HER AT HOME! Ugh...I'll vent on that another time. ***END ASIDE***

Anyways, I had been working on a nice cold that the afore mentioned lady brought me and it finally won out over my frantic application of meds. After Grandma fed us dinner as only a grandma can, Mr. Lee wanted to go to a bookstore, but I felt so terrible that I begged off. I sat at Grandma's house and watched "Most Haunted" while wishing for a miracle to make me feel better before the reunion the next day. I also hoped that I would get better before the next week at least, because I was asked to sing at a wedding. If I'm still sick when that wedding comes up, I'm going to pick up that lady I work with and throw her off of the roof of the SpRocket like a lawn dart.

Not much else happened that day. Once everyone got home, we basically sat around and watched TV while Grandma talked to no one in particular. She does that. Steve and I tried to break into a wireless signal we found, but it was useless. I did find out that Westar is extremely lucky to have Steve as its Network Admin. Anyone who knows how to do the stuff he can do, but who uses his powers for good instead of evil, has to be some kind of asset!

When we went to bed, I found out that the hound dog that lives next door to us in Alabama apparently has a Texan cousin. We got to listen to Jay-Bob howl and bark. Borrorrorrrrr! Boooooorrrrrrrrr!