by Snagtoof
Orcs versus Dark Elves (2000 pts each side)
“Des funny skinnies don't as wussy az de udder ones did”, said Nasgash looking at that black skinny hummie type horse with wings, ”n `dey don't look so scareds `eether.”
The dark skinned elves on top of those large lizards was probably one of the things that made Nasgash most uneasy.
“'Da force of chaos is strong ere,” stated Goredoff,” I believe `des dark-skinnied elves orship da chaos.”
“Well, dat is what make em weak”, Nashgash triumphantly replied, “I don't `orship no one, cept good ole Gork and Mork o' course.”
“Of course”, added Goredoff.
“Still, dem gobbos are looking scared again, at least dey put togedder one o dem slingyshotty's again,” Said Nasgash while strocked his large great axe that he took from an upstart black orc. “I still wish Snagtoof waz `ere. I `tink dat big river ate im.”
“You mean big ocean,” countered Goredoff.
“Dat's what I said! Big ocean,” yelled Nasgash angrily, “now get over to yer place shaman, before I knock yer buzzy `ead around.”
As Goredoff walked off Nasgash thought about what took him to this weird place again.
Nasgash watched all the gobbos running around screaming about their death across the deck of the large `boat' that they took from the hummie village they ransacked. Goredoff seemed like he knew a lot and he told Snagtoof that more of those pale elves could be found west across the ocean. Nasgash had no idea what this `ocean' was, and so he decided that it just is a big river that you can't see across. He used to wonder where all the water came from, but not any longer. He now knew where it came from because it was raining harder than he had ever seen in his life. Plus it seemed to be raining from all directions and it was so windy. Nasgash was very glad they didn't kill all the hummies cause they were the only ones who knew how to make the `boats' work. Nasgash and Goredoff were the bosses of this boat and Snagtoof was on the bot that Nasgash couldn't see any more cause of all the water in the sky.
“I wonder if Gork don't want us out on da wudder?,” Nasgash asked no one in particular.
“What if Snagtoof can't see us, I guess I'll `ave to see if I can find `im later,” said Nasgash. Nasgash was worried though because Snagtoof's boat had the wolves, most of the goblins, and worst of all the Trolls. Without them the clan could be in trouble.
When his boat finally struck land, Goredoff told him that they had been blown greatly of course and that now they were on a continent more to the north.
Nasgash knew he wasn't as particular as Snagtoof, and he didn't care that there probably wouldn't be any elves here, he just wanted to fight something. And soon, that boat ride across the `ocean' was uncomfortable to say the least.
“What are filthy orcs doing here on Nagarroth?”, asked Kindur, an aclaimed dark elf great fire sorcerer.
“I don't know sir, but I was reading the blood cauldron earlier and it to me to beware this day,” said Sishra the witch elf hag from on top her dark Pegasus. “It also told me to warn you this day, so that you could continue to serve chaos.”
“Do not attempt to tell me what the forces of chaos will, you hag,” snarled Kindur, ”this is my raiding party and I believe I am more qualified to speak of the forces of chaos than you are.”
“As you say my dark lord,” whispered the old hag.
The dark elf sorcerer turned to look at his forces.
“Ready the bolt throwers and gather arms, we have a green mosquito to swat.”
General `Nasgash' orc bigboss great axe, dead `ard armour (1+ sv)
With 19 Orc Big'uns 2-weapons, shields (full command) banner of butchery (+1A each once)
`Goredoff' Lvl 4 Orc great shaman (buzgob's knobly staff (re-roll cast once per turn) best `at (5+ward sv) )
Lvl 2 savage orc shaman on boar (warpaint (5+ ward sv) dispel scroll)
With 9 savage orc boar boys spears (full command) war banner
Night goblin big boss standard bearer light armour (bad moon banner (unit is stubborn) )
With 19 black orcs 2-weapons (full command) night banner (-1 to hit from missiles)
30 night goblins spears (musician and standard)
24 Orc boyz with spears, shields (full command)
1 orc boar chariot
1 doom diver
1 rock lobber
`Kindur' General lvl 4 fire wizard
`Sishra' Witch elf old hag hero on dark pegasus with heartseeker sword (reroll misses)
Assassin with heart of woe (when bearer dies all model in base contact receive S5 hit with d3 wounds)
Lvl 1 shadow wizard
11 Warriors with repeater crossbows
5 dark riders repeater crossbows
5 cold one riders
5 harpies
12 corsairs
10 witch elves
5 scouts repeater crossbows (assassin was in this unit)
2 repeating bolt throwers
Main center block moves forward a little, as do savage orc boar boys (trying to stay wary of cold one charge) chariot tries to be prepared for a flank attack
Big'un turn to face scouts still deep in woods next to my force
A carzed doom diver launches and misses completely enjoying his flight too much and landing way beyond the dark elf force. The rock lobber crew again proves that they have no idea what they're doing as it misses everything.
Goredoff overcomes the dark elf sorcerers defenses and a spell gets through (eadbutt kills one bolt thrower crew man on machine in front of forces)
Scouts move out of woods and fire on big'uns causing one death
Fireball cast on goblins kills one, Goredoff realizes how powerful the dark elf mage really is as he easily casts wall of fire causing 2 kills on orc spearmen
Dark elves on hill fire repeaters at goblins killing 3, left repeating bolt thrower hits goblins killing 4
Center repeating bolt thrower is shot at boar boyz along with dark riders repeating crossbows killing none
Harpies fly towards night goblin spearmen to draw out fanatics, but there are none!? (haha)
Witch elves shuffle sideways, as do corsairs, cold ones stay put
The old hag moves to behind the cold ones
Thanks to black orcs again, everyone passes animosity
Night goblins (still quesy from the boat ride) charge harpies, but they flee, so their charge fails, but they're not even aware of the close proximity of elves with crossbows cause they're too busy stumbling and puking.
Boar boys move out of 90 front arc of the dangerous looking cold ones, but advance towards dark riders
Black orcs move forward behind the goblin cover, while attempting to dodge all the stains those quesy gobbos left on the ground.
The chariot wheels to defend the savage boar boyz if necessary
The orc spearmen stay put due to fire wall, and some even sit down and break out some roast snotling legs.
Goredoff taps the Waagh energies and kills the other member of the bolt thrower crew, rendering it useless, and surprising the dark elf sorcerer with his savage power.
The savage orc shaman kills a dark rider with `eadbutt.
Nasgash and his big'uns charge the small unit of scouts, but a sinister looking assassin leaps out from their group. Nasgash, reveling in his chance to prove himself, challenges the assassin in combat. The rest of the scouts are all easily killed by the ferocious Big'uns, and the assassin lunges with his poison tipped blades at Nasgash hitting him twice, but Nasgash's magical Dead `Ard Armour easily turns the poisoned blades aside. Nashgash then swings his mighty axe around and hits the quick dark elf in the shoulder wounding him once
Needless to say, the assassin flees into the forest too far to be caught
The harpies rally (he accidentally used his generals leadership to rally them this battle) turning around and the assassin rallys too (though now I don't believe he could do this since the unit was now less than 25% remaining)
The dark riders move back some and shoot at the savage boar bozy again, but their weak skinny arrows are no match for thick skin and boar hides.
The remaining repeating bolt thrower and the 7 repeating crossbows (22 attacks!!) all fire on the goblins causing about 13 more kills, but they don't panic because they still don't notice all their peers dying because they can barely see because they are so queasy.
The witch elves and corsairs don't move, but Kindar moves back a bit because those crazy flying gobbos are raining heavily in the area.
The coldones move forward just a little and the old hag moves to their side
No magic is cast (to keep the firewall up, and I fail my attempt to dispel it – two 1's)
The night goblins charge the harpies again (they just appear to be brown fuzzy shapes to the disoriented gobbos), who flee again, so the charge fails with the goblins very close to enemy lines
The big'uns turn and make it to the edge of the forest that they pursued the scouts into.
The savage boar boyz move up very close to the dark riders, but still out of the cold ones charge sight
The boar chariot move up to help the boar boys in case they get in trouble
The spearmen don't move again due to the fire wall and now they biggen dicing amongst themselves drying out the salt water in their clothes near the big fire.
The black orcs move up behind the goblins, keeping all gobbo squabbling in check.
The shoddy rock lobber misfires because a crewman droped a rock on his head then fell onto the levers causing it to miss this turn and the next. (stupid rock lobber never works)
Another suicidal doom diver misses everything again (although coming much closer), making Nasgash doubt Snagtoof's opinion on goblin operated war machines that don't have orcs to watch over them
Then Goredoff manages to push through the smelly elves puny magical defenses again by casting brain bursta with irresistible force onto the cold ones, killing 2 of them, but they don't panic
The harpies rally again (again using the generals leadership) and face toward the boar boy threat
The repeating bolt thrower and the repeating crossbows once again shoot at the already arrow riddled night goblins (not understanding why these little goblins won't run) killing 7 more leaving them with 8 (who don't panic again!– the general is within 12” still)
The lone dark elf assassin moves directly in front of the big'uns unit.
The witch elves move forward slightly, but don't want to charge the weakened goblins because of the mean, stubborn looking black orcs behind them.
The cold ones swivel towards the savage boar boyz while the 4 remaining dark riders charge the boar boys. The dark riders kill one boar boy and the boar boyz answer by savagely hacking through two dark riders, easily winning combat while the darkriders run fast like cowards. The frenzied savages don't catch the dark riders, but make do by pursuing into the cold ones.
The lvl 4 dark wizard general casts no spells choosing to keep the wall of fire up. The shadow mage attempts to cast, but miscasts causing his gathered magical forces to flow into Goredoff's thick skull allowing him to suddenly cast eadbutt causing one wound to the old hag on the pegasus.
Then Goredoff finally successfully dispels the wall of fire
The orc spearmen have gotten so confused standing behind that warm fire wall that they still thought they were back at camp and started squabbling amongst themselves (failed animosity)
The night goblin spearmen actually manage to charge into the witch elves (they didn't even know they were elves in their current state), and Goredoff cast bash `em lads onto them so they re-rolled failed hits. They managed to kill 2 witchelves and then the witchelves, mad at the smelly goblins puking all over the place, killed 7 goblins in return and the last goblin (with the standard) finally wizened up and ran away too far for the witch elves to catch.
The black orcs moved up behind the goblins and now the fleeing night goblin is standing right in front of them.
Nasgas again tells the big'uns to charge the assassin, because he wants another go at him. This time the assassin has the nerve to challenge him, but that is what Nasgash wanted anyway. The skillful assassin lands 2 hits, which are once again both turned back by the magical armour. Nasgash grins a toothy smile as he forces his axe down into the stealthy dark elves cold hard heart......... of woe.
(I did not realize he had the heart of woe until now, should've been thinking) As Nasgash's axe connected with the dark assassin's heart he saw it explode outward, and immediately knew that the damn dark elf sorcerer (“may Mork eat `iz bones”) wanted this to happen. The heart destroyed one big'un, but Nashgash, and his powerful armour managed to save his green smelly hide.
Mork must have heard Nasgash's prayer because right as the dark elf assassin's heart exploded the dark elf sorcerer looked up to see a screaming goblin with wings plummet from the sky onto his wizened head ending his thus far long life.
All other spells from Goredoff had been dispelled.
The dark riders didn't rally and they fled right off the field.
The dark elves horrified at the sudden death of their general and wizard knew this was a losing battle. The repeating bolt thrower and the repeating crossbows shot at the last night goblin (since that is what they had been doing until this point, and they wanted some victory points) finally pelting the little gobbo with too many arrows to survive.
The witch elves and corsairs didn't know what to do after seeing the effects of a suicidal goblin on a powerful dark elf wizard, so they stayed put.
The harpies and the old hag, knowing that her blood reading this morning was true, charged the boar boyz who had just charged the cold ones. The boyz, in their green frenzy, easily slaughtered all 3 cold ones, losing only 2 boar boyz due to the old hag and the harpies. The savage boys won the combat and both the old hag and the harpies fled, but the boars didn't catch them.
At this point it was pretty late again, plus it was new years eve, so we called it an orc victory
“Turn back! We must gather a lager force. The gods must be angry at us, but it is not the first time that the gods have left us on our own,” yelled Sishra from atop her galloping pegasus. It scared her to find out just how true her future tellings turned out to be. Too bad Kindur didn't listen to her. But no matter, she just inherited a raiding party. For the time being at least.
Still, she was amazed at the ferocity of those orcs. Sishra had never fought orcs or goblins before, but she was taught that they were a savage bunch not trained for large-scale battles. It seems that they underestimated their foe. And the fact that their general withstood the assassins heart of woe, that is one for the record books. Many things must be reported back to the dark elf command higher up. Maybe Kindur is lucky that he didn't survive.
“'De blood of dem dark skinnies sure is funny smellin,” Nasgash remarked about his blood smeared amour,” at least it keeps dem grubby gobbos awayz from me fer a while.”
“I fink we should `ead back to da mainlands to try n find Snagtoof again, “said Nasgash, “it takes a lot to kill a big orc like `dat, n besidez he'd probabby bash in me `ead if I gone to long.”
Goredoff just nodded in agreement while polishing his knobby staff, the only clean item he owned.
“Yes, it won't be long before dem darkies come back wiff some more skinnies,” Goredoff stated.
As Nasgash and Goredoff walked along the battlefield the met up with the savage orc boar boyz with their shaman.
“You boyz done me proud, “Nasgash told them, while keeping back from the boars who were feasting on the lizards remains. “Dem skinnies no match fer a good Waagh.”
Nasgash then walked over to heap of blood, clothe, and bone about 2 feet high.
“'Dem gobbos sure iz crazy,” Nasgash finally said while picking up a shattered dark elf helm, “remind me to look out fer fly'n gobbos from now on. I tink I'll be keepin dis `at dough.”
With that Nasgash put the shattered helm under his arm and walked away from the bloody heap that once was a great dark sorcerer on a dark steed...