by Warboss Gnarkbags
EPISODE IV
DA BIG SEIGE
"I'm tellin ya! I found da Sknnies' Secret fort!"
Warboss Broknek da Blak looked at Gnarkbag with an eager but
focused stare, and Gnarkbag swallowed hard. "I jus' don't
have enuf ladz ta pull it off!
Dat's where you come in Gnarkbag," he said, pointing across
the firepit. "You gots loads a ladz and grots to spare! Dat
means yer supplyin my troopers. You got a problem wit dat?"
Gnarkbag tried to think carefully about Broknek's offer, despite
the fact that it gave him a headache. He had been searching the
forest for weeks for the Skinnies' hideout, and all he had to
show for it
were a bunch of ladz with green arrows in their backs a a
seriously perforated troll. Now here was this uppity black orc
warboss who had beat him to it. Gnarkbag wanted to bash the
secret fort, that
was for sure, but her certainly didn't want to split the loot.
"Whatta dey got dere?" asked Gnarkbag.
"Dey got some high-falutin allies wit 4 Bolt-throwers, a
wizzerd, a treeman, and lots 'a arrers".
Gnarkbag frowned. "Dats a lotta stuff. Whatta you got?"
Broknek grinned evilly. "Giants! But I need ladz who can get
over dat wall. Your boyz 'ard enuf?"
"My boyz is dead 'ard!"
"Den yer in!"
Gnarkbag made a last attempt to think the problem through. He
hated playing second bannan to some uppity black orc... but then
he remembered the Giants, and he thought of what would happen if
he
said no.
"Ah, zoggin 'ell! I'll do it!"...
DA SEIGE BEGINS
This was a large scale seige battle where one player controlling
2000pts of High and Wood elven forces defends a Wood-Elf
stronghold from 2 Orcy Players, each with a 2000 pts army of his
own
(4000 pts total). This is the first seige battle I have fought,
and let me tell you it was a blast. Seige battles are long,
lasting 7 turns. The elves defend a long wall with a gate and two
towers. The orcy
objective is to assault the wall, get as many units over the wall
as possible, and then get at least one unit of 5 models off the
Elves' table edge. This is an incredibly hard thing for an
infantry force to do,
even in 7 turns! I will try my best to re-create the play-by-play
but I'm sure that some things will get left out or confused in
the process. Please bear with me.
DA WOODY FORT
The table is 4' x 6'. The long ends are north and south, and the
short ends are east and west. The elven fortification is a wall
running north-south, 12" in from the Eastern edge of the
table. The wall has
a gatehouse in the middle with a fortified and reinforced wooden
gate. The Gatehouse is set back from the main wall about 4",
connected with stonework and large hedges. Where the Hedging
rejoins
the main wall on either side of the gatehouse are two
"towers" which are actually gigantic trees. Each one
has a large circular platform around the middle of the trunk, and
three smaller platforms perched
in the branches higher up. A rope and plank bridge connects the
two trees, swaying in front of the gatehouse. Beyond each massive
tree, the walls of stone and hedging continue 12" on to the
table
edge.
DA SKINNIES
I didn't see my opponents army list, but the Elven allies
consisted of basically the following:
One unit 6 dryads atop the northernmost wall section.
One unit of 10 archers on the lower platform of the Northern
tree.
One unit of 6 wardancers on the lower platform of the Northern
Tree, hiding behind the trunk.
One unit of 10 scouts atop the gatehouse, accompanied by a level
2 High-elven wizard. Scout Champion has the Hail of Doom Arrow.
This unit has Boiling Oil.
One Treeman stationed directly behind the gate.
One unit of 12 Archers on the lower platform of the southern
tree, accompanied by the Wood Elf General with the Bow of Loren
and the Jade Amulet.
One unit of 10 Archers on the Southernmost wall section. This
unit also has Boiling Oil.
Four - count 'em! - Four Repeater Bolt Throwers on the smaller
platforms in the treetops - two to a tree.
DA WAAAAAGGGHHH!
Let me start off by saying that, while my ally and I didn't
completely bone ourselves, we certainly didn't help ourselves
with either our troop choices or in the way we deployed. I
mention this so that
experienced seige players won't jeer too much when they see our
armylist! More on this in the epilogue.
I am going to combine the total list for the two armies here, as
some of our units wound up being combined and some were not.
Unless otherwise noted all units have stadards/musicians:
Warboss Gnarkbag (armor of fortune, flail of skulls) & Umrot
the BSB (sword of bork) leading 18 big uns with shield, light
armor, and spear, with 5 ladders.
Black Orc Warboss Broknek leading 15 Black Orcs w/ extra hand
weapons.
Gobbo Big Boss Stonky leading 29 Night GObbos with Shield, Lt
Armor, and Spears and 5 Ladders.
Big Boss Sharkfang with the Bone BLade leading 15 Boyz with extra
hand weapons and 4 ladders.
Boss Spike with extra hand weapon leading 15 boyz with extra hand
weapons and 4 ladders
3 units of 20 night gobbo archers (don't laugh!)
7 Trolls with a Battering Ram (heh heh heh!), carefully watched
over by a gobbo big boss on a Wolf.
One Unit of 5 Ogres
Black orc Boss Cracknek leading 12 Black Orc Boyz with extra hand
weapons and a Seige Tower
1 unit of 12 Arrer Boyz in the Seige Tower
Harry and Garp, 2 Giants
Rumshag, a level 2 shaman (spells: Da Krunch, Gaze of Mork) &
rod of power
1 gang of 8 Savage Orc Boar Boyz with a Savage Boar Shaman level
2 (wait - hold those guffaws!) and a log ram?!? (Okay, now you
can laugh). I still don't quite know what we were planning to do
with these guys. (Shaman spells: Hand of Gork, 'Ere we go!)
Da Hand of Gork! - Small (but much loved) Rock Lobba
DA DEPLOYMENT:
Since we were dealing with only a 4' frontage, deployment was a
confused mess. (I know - typical orcy behavior!) The Front Lines
looked like this from North ot South: Sharkfang's mob, gobbo
archers, the seige tower, Harry, More Gobbo Archers, the Trolls
with the battering ram, Stonky's gobbo mob, Garp, more gobbo
archers, Spikes Ladz. The rear lines looked like this: Rumshag
behind
Sharkfang's mob, Ogres behind the Seige Tower, Boar Boys Behind
Battering Ram, Gnarkbag behind Stonky's Lads, Broknek's ladz
behind the gobbos. The Rock Lobba set up in some soft cover in
back of the lines.
Okay, enough preamble! Since the Elves are defending they got the
first turn...
ELVES TURN ONE:
TWANNGGG!! The sound of many many bows fills the air as the Orcs
desperately try to get their assault force in order. For their
first trick, the elves loose all 4 bolt throwers and the seige
tower and
manage to destroy it in one go! ACK! However, the arrer boyz in
the top show them that you don't have to be an elf to be agile:
only 4 are crunched to their deaths under the collapsing hulk.
Many arrows are also shot into the Trolls, but to the elves'
horror the trolls just grin stupidly and pull the arrows out of
their hides.
The High Mage conserves his power.
ORCS TURN ONE:
Gnarkbag and Broknek do their best to get the line moving, but no
one is in that big a hurry to get to the wall. Animosity plagues
the line, and stonky's ladz won't budge. Neither will the arrer
boys. Or
the Gobbos in front of Broknek. Sharkfang's ladz get really
pissed at the delay and charge into the rear of Craknek's ladz,
knocking one of the them out of the fight - but hey, it got them
to move closer
to the wall. One of the Night Gobbo Archer units gets the crazy
Idea that they can climb the wall without ladders and runs madly
forward ahead of the line.
The Trolls trundle the battering ram forward and Gnarkbag does
some hasty manouvering to get around Stonky's ladz. THe Boar
Boyz, completely lost for how to help, move south along the rear
of
the line shouting and banging on their shields. Spike's ladz are
the only other unit that really gets closer to the wall.
In the Shooting phase, the Hand of GOrk Lets loose a stone -
landing square on one of the Bolt Throwers! Unfortunately, it
only kills one of the crew, but the ladz raise a cheer anyway. In
addition, it
puts a small dent in the tree.
Rumshag casts Da Krunch in an effort to finish off the Bolt
Thrower, but the foot of Gork goes a little wide. The tree groans
mightily as the spectral foot hits it, but does not collapse.
ELVES TURN TWO:
Another round of shooting sees one giant severly wounded by bolt
thrower fire, and spotty casualties here and there. Spike's ladz
lose enough boyz that they have to drop one of their ladders, but
Broknek's Mob picks it up. Gnarkbag's boyz also need to drop a
ladder.
The Mage casts Coruscation of Finreir and floats up into the air.
Despite a number of dispel attempts, he will stubbornly remain up
there and refuses to come down for the rest of the game.
ORCS TURN TWO:
Animosity subsides for the moment, but the line is still a
confused mess. The Archers are blocking most of the assault
troops, and everybody has to crowd a bit as they approach the
wall. The trolls
continue forward, and the Ogres manage to get behind them, ready
to back them up when they reach the gate. SHarkfang and Spike are
getting closer to the wall. Most everyone else moves up a bit,
but
Craknek's ladz are stalled behind the Arrer boyz, who are still
operating under the delusion that they can shoot Elves off the
walls at long range, and the BOar boyz just kind of run up and
down in the
back doing nothing much. THe Giants move to within charge range
of the wall.
The Lobba lands another carefully aimed stone on top of the
wounded Bolt Thrower! Great is Gork! THough the machine still
stands, its crew are now dead.
Rumshag once again tries to cast "da krunch", but the
High Mage manages to dispel AND destroy it.
ELVES TURN THREE:
The Wardancers decide to run out onto the rope bridge, ready to
drop down on the trolls when they get close enough. The High Mage
gets the bright idea to Coruscate right into the the Orcy lines.
He is
safe from harm AND he can block most march moves! ugh!! The Boyz
on the ground jeer at him and give him nasty looks, and the mage
looks very smug indeed.
More shooting!! The giants draw fire from the bolt throwers, and
the wounds pile up, but they remain standing.
The Elf mage simply floats about and gloats.
ORCS TURN THREE:
Animosty slows the line a bit, but there is progress! Garp
charges the southern Wall, and Harry charges the wardancers on
the rope bridge! The Wardancers flee, hiding behind the trunk of
the southern
tree. The trolls move to within charge range of the gate!
Craknek's lads turn around and try to get a bead on the mage in
case he can be brought down from on high. Fat chance. The boar
boyz continue
to run in circles.
The Lobba once again aims true! It hits another Bolt thrower and
kills one of the crew. the other one flees down to the lower
level. The Ladz chant "Gork! Gork! Gork!"
Garp swings his club and begins the process of clearing archers
off the wall. He is VERY effective.
The Savage Shaman casts HAND OF GORK! and gets Spike's Ladz up to
the wall! (Note: Despite what it says on the Spell Card, the
Seige rules supercede this and state that you cannot "hand
of
Gork" a unit onto a wall or over a wall.) They begin their
assault next turn! Also, "Hand of Glory" is dispelled!
ELVES TURN 4:
The Wardancers and the RBT crewman rally. The mage continues to
plague the Orcs advance. Harry is brought down by the remaining
Bolt Throwers, and the Wood Elf General Hastily Joins the
Archers defending the wall from Spike's Boyz and Garp. Spotty
casualties elsewhere accomplish little.
The General challanges spike to single combat and spike accepts!
However, Spike is a bit overmatched and soon succumbs. Garp
clears the rest of the archers off the wall, but the Woody
general holds
his ground.
The Mage Gloats a bit more, and thumbs his nose at Gnarkbag.
Alright, maybe not - but he would have, if he was anyone other
than a high elf mage.
ORCS TURN 4:
Charge! Broknek's unit manages to get up to the southern wall
next to Spike's ladz. They raise a single ladder and Broknek is
the first one up on the wall unopposed. The Wood Elven General
looks to
his right and realizes his situation has taken a turn for the
worse. Cheers go up along the orcy line.
All this is lost on the trolls, who have become confused by the
architecture of the gatehouse. They can't seem to figure out
where to put the Battering ram, or if they should try to climb up
on the rope
bridge, or why the gate is set back from the rest of the wall,
and shouldn't they be there by now? Instead of charging the gate,
they lie down for a bit to try to sort it out. Their Gobbo minder
screams
his head off at them but to little avail.
Sharkfang is getting close to the wall, but it is still seems a
looong way away. Gnarkbag, prevented from marching by the nearby
mage, gan only shake his fist and try to get close enough to the
trolls to
motivate them. The Ogres, stuck behind the trolls, make a
half-hearted attempt at going around them, but they have nowhere
to go. Infact, the only unit actually within assault range of the
wall on the
north side are all of the archery units, and none of them have
ladders!!
The Lobba flings another stone but it lands harmlessly behind the
wall.
Once again the Savage Shaman manages to do something right and
casts "Hand of GORK!" This time he flings Stonky's unit
right up to the wall next to the gate! Things are looking up!
ELVES TURN 5:
The Elves are starting to worry. The Archers run this way and
that, trying to pick which targets are the most dangerous, and
Garp is a prime target. The Wardancers run to the front of the
south Tree
platform, ready to leap down onto Stonky's lads, and the Dryads,
seeing that Sharkfang is too far away to get over the wall in the
time remaining him, abandon their position and run towards the
gatehouse.
Garp is wounded but not out - even the bolt throwers can't knock
him down! All kinds of arrows rain down on the trolls, and two of
them decide to lie down permanently, but they're too stupid to
panic, bless their scaly hides!
Stonky, meanwhile, makes a very good show during his assault of
the wall. He manages to get a couple of his lads up onto the
battlements, although he can't yet break the defenders. Luckily,
he has
enough lads with him that they can overcome their natural fear of
Elves.
ORCS TURN 5:
Sharkfang doesn't like it when he's not considered a threat! He
screws up his face and shouts at the retreating Dryads:
"Wot?!? Don't think we're fast enough, do yer?!? ROIGHT!!
WE"LL SHOW
'EM LADZ!!" His Unit redoubles its efforts and makes it all
the way to the wall! As he and his lads leap up their ladders to
the unguarded battlement, he salutes the enemy with a very rude
gesture.
And now, the Wood-Elf General's time is up! With a mighty
"WAAAGGGHHH!!!!" Broknek Charges into combat, swinging
a ridiculously large two handed axe. The Wood Elf challenges him,
and
the Jade amulet keeps the foolish tree-hugger alive, but more
lads are streaming over the wall, and he can't hold out much
longer. Stonky continues to cut down ELves at the Gatehouse wall,
but his
lads are only gobbos after all and don't get much farther.
The Trolls, however, have finally figured out where the gate is
and they charge in with the Battering ram! The Elves douse them
with oil, but the trolls are made of VERY stern stuff and don't
quite get
the hint that they're unwelcome guests. They begin the arduous
task of bashing the gate in, but it won't be easy with a treeman
holding the doors shut on the other side.
The Lobba is Thrice-blessed by almighty GORK! Once again a huge
stone is lobbed with uncanny accuracy at the third Bolt Thrower.
It's crew are knocked out of the tree by flying shrapnel and fall
to
their deaths!
The rest of the line hems and haws, and spends most of their time
shaking their fists at the floating wizard.
A breif mental duel between said wizzerd and an Orcy shaman
results in the Mage losing a wound. "Hah! Take that ya
pompous sod!"
ELVES TURN 6:
The Wardancers realize that the Stonky is never getting over the
gatehouse wall in this lifetime and maybe they should go back to
help their general who is single handedly holding off two units
and a
rampaging warboss. Too bad they can only make it halfway there!
The Dryads decide that they need to stay at the gate while the
Treeman stomps off in Sharkfang's direction.
As Expected, the wardancers are not going to arrive in time.
Despite surviving Broknek's axe, the Elven General is Broken and
flees the wall. He is ignominiously run down by the last two Orcs
from
Spike's unit, with Broknek's lads close behind.
The Trolls manage to put a crack in the gate, but it holds!
Stonky continues the good fight, and kills some more elves, but
he can't break the buggers and he can't get any more lads onto
the wall.
ORCS TURN 6:
Sharkfang has his lads over the wall and begins the mad rush for
the Elves' table edge! Luckily he manages to end his movement
phase outside of the Treman's charge arc.
Unfortunately, the last two of Spike's lads begin debating which
one of them got over the wall first, and are completely blocking
Broknek's unit from proceeding!
Stonky gets another lad up the wall, but the elves aren't
breaking.
The Hand of Gork misses it's target and thuds against the South
Tree, denting it a bit but not doing much else.
All along the line the lads are shouting "TEAR! DOWN! the
WALL!!! TEAR! DOWN! the WALL!!!" and Garp does his best, but
he's tiring fast and doesn't have it in him.
The Orcy Shamans and the Elven High Mage are pretty much
deadlocked for the rest of the game.
ELVES TURN 7:
In the final turn, the Wardancers realise that they are too far
away to charge either Spike's Ladz or Broknek's boyz.
The Elves shore up their defenses a bit, and the Treeman changes
his facing, but there's no way anyone can either shoot at or
engage Sharkfang's lads, who stand the best chance of breaking
through.
The final bolt thrower and all remaining available archers fire
on Garp, and he finally gives out, falling heavily against the
wall he could not break. Poor bugger!
ORCS TURN 7:
Sharkfang wants to make a run for the table edge, but he realizes
that the treeman is too close! He can't march!! His movement
phase puts him 2" from the table edge.
It all comes down to the Savage Shaman with no pronounceable
name! He gets one chance to use "Hand of Gork" on
SHarky's ladz to get them the victory!! He throws all of his
power into it!!! (We
need more exclamation points!!!!!!!!! There!) He casts...
...but he High Mage, in a final act of snootiness, handily
manages a dispel. Gork withdraws his mighty Hand, and despite
Krumping the elven defenses mightily, the Orcs fall 2" short
of victory...
...stil, a damn good time was had by all.
EPILOGUE:
Great is Gork!! I'd say that Gork's hand was definitely in
evidence in more than one fashion during this game. My Lobba
continued it's record of uncanny accuracy, several important
spells got off at
the right time, Sharkfang got mad in just the right place and
time, and Garp seemed all but invulnerable there for a while.
However, Gork giveth and Gork taketh away. He denied us ultimate
victory
I'm sure because we were such knuckleheads during army selection
and deployment. Since this was my first Seige game I don't feel
so bad about it, but I did learn a LOT of things. So without
furhter
ado, here is...
WARBOSS GNARKBAG'S DO'S and DON'TS OF SEIGE WARFARE
1) - NEVER bring cavalry to a seige. I don't care how much you
think your opponent will sally out, don't do it!!! Except Spider
Riders.
2) - ALWAYS bring Spider Riders if you're an Orc player. At least
consider it, anyways.
3) - NEVER bring archers with a Ballistic Skill of less than 4 or
5 when you're attacking. BS of 3 needs a 7 or 8 to hit troops off
the wall 90% of the time.
4) - I learned that Standards and Musicians DO NOT COUNT when
storming a wall, so don't bother with the points. Just bring a
BSB instead.
5) - If you're bringing a rock lobber (or stone thrower) use the
Larger size model. The small one is good for picking off troops,
but you will never knock down a wall or tower with one.
6) - Don't bother with spears - they don't help when storming a
wall. Give extra hand weapons to everyone who can carry them
instead.
7) - Use fewer, bigger units where possible. When assaulting a
wall, the defenders hit you normally, but you only hit them on a
6. You will burn a lot of casualties in an assault and also from
missile
fire just getting to the wall.
8) - Don't put any troops in the front lines who don't have
ladders. In fact, don't field infantry without ladders at all if
you can.
9) - If you don't have enough troops to carry all your ladders,
you take a movement penalty or you have to drop a ladder. Make
sure to bring enough troops so that taking casualties on the way
to the
wall won't cripple your advance or your assault.
10) - Seige towers: always carry a spare.
11) - If you're going to bring one rock lobber, you might as well
bring three.
12) - Trolls + Battering Ram = a very good thing if it works.
13) - Giants: One can clear a wall. Two can probably knock down a
wall, but only if they work together. They also make great
missile bait.
14) - Did I mention you should never bring Cavalry?
and for those of you defending:
15) - Never abandon a wall because you think the Orcs won't get
there in time!