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Tango
TX Member
Posts: 247
(7/18/01 9:51 am)
|
![3D"New](3D"PaodyList_files/image004.gif") Re: Parody list
Soulsisters suggested I put this here, so ...
*embarassed cough* here goes....
BTW, I actually haven't seen FIN, so apologies if any of this doesn't
quite make sense.
YESTERDAY
GABRIELLE:
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh I believe, in yesterday -
Suddenly, you're not half the girl you used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
I blame it all on Akemi
Why you had to go, I don't know...
Redemption? Not!
Wish we'd stayed at home, now I'm alone
And you're a pot
RENEE:
Yesterday, mine was such an easy role to play
Now I need a place to hide away
I'll have to explain this
To my kid someday!
Why she had to go, I don't know
Who wrote this crap
I breathed in relief when they said
That it's a wrap
O-o-oh, yesterday....
![3D":)"](3D"PaodyList_files/image011.gif")
Tango, the Beatles fan =
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 560
(7/18/01 11:17 am)
|
Re: Parody list
Okay I set you guys a challenge!
Run with it!! ... tee hee.... :-} Can't wait!!!!
"The Addams Family"
They're creepy and they're kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They're all together ooky,
The Addams Family.
Their house is a museum
Where people come to see 'em
They really are a scream
The Addams Family.
(Neat)
(Sweet)
(Petite)
So get a witches shawl on
A broomstick you can crawl on
We're gonna pay a call on
The Addams Family.
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 123
(7/18/01 11:27 am)
|
Re: Parody list
Tango, ROFL!! -
"redemption, Not!... And you're a Pot"
Hysterical!!!
Soul, sounds like fun!<=
/p>
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Tango
TX Member
Posts: 250
(7/18/01 12:01 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Does this have to be post-FIN? I don't actually =
know much
about the plot... I'm guessing "Akemi's Family" would be the
obvious choice here, but I better try something I know a bit about!
"The Xena History"
Back when the gods were ancient
Cruel, petty and impatient
And warlords filled their quotient
Of villager mince meat
The turmoiled land was crying
For someone non-divine
To help it or die trying
And Xena was her name.
(War)
(Brings)
(Peace)
{audience: 'Yeah, right!'}
No longer warlord hired,
She now became admired;
A sidekick she acquired
Her name was Gabrielle
(Peace...)
(Wait!)
(War...)
{audience: 'Make up your mind!'}
With shrinking tops and leather
Our heroes were together
Through any kind of weather
And every kind of death
Wounds, illness, crucifixions,
And angels' benedictions
Caused hardly any friction:
They were the best of friends
Alas for our adventurers
Japan was their last venture
For all good things eventually
Must meet a bloody end
(Thus)
(Said)
(Rob)
*cue slashing sound, bringing the song to an abrupt end*
Tango
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 562
(7/18/01 12:29 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
OMYGAWD!!!!!!!!!!!
TANGO!!!!!!!!! Shrinking tops and leather!!! hahahahahaha!
LOL!!!
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Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 188
(7/18/01 1:49 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Gab And Her Sanity
Endearing words, she utters
Kissing the pot, she shudders
The crew begins to mutter
"She lost her sanity"
She's talking to a deck chair
And gently strokes the thin air
A groan emits from somewhere
She lost her sanity.
(Sad)
(Mad)
(Egad!)
She slipped into her cabin
And cried out in orgas*
She loved her ectoplasm
And lost her sanity.
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 570
(7/18/01 2:00 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are soooooooooooo bad!! hahaha!
LUV IT!
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Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 190
(7/18/01 2:28 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Glad ya liked it Soul. I see we are both hard at=
work
again today....
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 574
(7/18/01 3:14 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Yeah, I have this=
sucky
seasonal thing going.
Need to work 24 hour days in Jan/Feb/March and
the rest of the year sit on my thumb.
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 7/19/01 2:20:29 pm
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Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 191
(7/18/01 3:44 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Well soul, there =
are a lot
worse things you could be sitting on, lol. <Trying to shake off the
image of Soul and her thumb>
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 124
(7/18/01 4:09 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Her Adams Appley<=
br>
It's seepy and it's oozy,
gratuitous and pukey,
It's hard to even looky,
Her Adams Appley
Her tonsils you can see 'em
At least it's not jejunum
His katana sliced right thru 'em
and Her Adams Appley
(Her death could have been more - Neat)
(This "parting" ain't so - Sweet)
(Well, at least now she's more - Petite)
So spit that fire-ball on
A pyre she can sprawl on
Before the vultures gnaw on
Her Adams Appley
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 580
(7/18/01 7:23 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
OMYGAWD!!!!! sirach!
That is soooooo friggin' excellent!
Are you sure Xena HAD an Adams App=
le????
hahahaha
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 7/18/01 8:31:29 pm
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 125
(7/18/01 8:27 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Well I think that's long been debated!!
Borrowing from Wines "ectoplasm", we'll now call it an Eve's
Ectocarp.
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 599
(7/19/01 6:44 pm)
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Re: Parody list
Think: Beverly Hillbillies
Come and listen to a story ‘bout a warrior bard,
who thanks to her true soulmate is now permanently scarred.
A monk stumbled upon them and he blurted, “AKEMI!”
so they loaded up the campsite and they sailed for Higuchi.
(Jappa that is….Asian girls…..naked tattoo rituals)
They easily doused a firestorm you’d think they’d get
respect,
but Buzz Kill stuck his face in theirs--was NOW he needed decked.
But Xena froze, her faced turned white she gasped as if in pain,
Gab rolled her eyes, let out a groan, “Redemption!? Not
again!”
(Vengeance, that is….for COMPLETE strangers…..no problem)=
Akemi whines she’s really scared can’t keep her daddy dea=
d,
if it’s not too much trouble could you please lop off your head=
.
Gab’s had enough of Xena’s crap she’s really getting
pissed,
"I gotta tell ya babe I had more fun in The Abyss!"
(Cannibals….Crisco rub downs…..hmmm, or not)
Well the next thing ya know Xena’s living in a pot,
mattered not what Gabby felt she’s just an afterthought.
So now it’s time to say goodbye to Gab and let her pine,
and wonder why the script let Xena be so asinine
(Amazons…ooo….and I’m STILL their
Queen……hmmm)
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 7/29/01 1:11:35 pm
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Amazonite
TX Member
Posts: 566
(7/19/01 6:56 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
![3D":lol"](3D"PaodyList_files/image005.gif") ![3D":rollin"](3D"PaodyList_files/image006.gif")
Excellent soulsisters! Truly inspired!
Laughing ON! Amazonite![3D"0]"](3D"PaodyList_files/image007.gif")
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 126
(7/19/01 8:26 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Now that I've caught my breath from ROFLMAO!!!
That is so GREAT!!
My favorite line:
Quote:
"if it’s not =
too
much trouble could you please lop off your head"
The whole thing is great, it even has CONTINUITY!
Thank you Soulsisters!!
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Runt
TX Member
Posts: 161
(7/19/01 8:55 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
SS, every time I think we've reached the pinnacl=
e, you
scale another peak of creativity! LOL!
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Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 195
(7/19/01 9:26 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
sister soul, you are in a grooooooooooove! LOL! =
Loved
the Abyss line...
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 601
(7/19/01 9:37 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Thanks, guys. I think I've shot my wad on the Fi=
nale.
Hey Amazonite, you might know this. Where is there a good quality
download of Xena wearing Varia's outfit from Dangerous Prey?
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bekkyo
TX New Member
Posts: 58
(7/19/01 10:12 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
ROFLOL
wiping tears from my eyes from laughing so hard
sirach, soul, wine, tango...you all are so talented...
ever amazed by the creativity here
bek
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&nbs=
p;
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Author
|
Comment <=
/span>
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Amazonite
TX Member
Posts: 577
(7/20/01 2:00 am)
|
Re: Parody list
Hi Soulsisters! Don't know the answer to your
question, sorry to say, maybe someone else does? If I run across it I=
'll
let you know. (I'm already imagining what funny thing this could be
for.....)
Amazonite
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 130
(7/20/01 6:59 am)
|
Re: Parody list
Hi Soul,
Sorry to hear you've "shot your wad", but I understand and =
am
getting to that point myself.
I'm sure you'll concoct something new and fun for us to do.
This had been great fun! Thanks to ALL!!<=
o:p>
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 611
(7/20/01 8:56 am)
|
Re: Parody list
sirach, yeah, we need something new...where's RU=
NT?
She's good at assigning us tasks!
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 7/20/01 8:57:34 am
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 659
(7/21/01 3:09 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
sirach!!!!!! CONTINUITY!!! Yeah!!!
We should start with episode one and see
if we can do continuity parodies!!! OMYGAWD,
we'll never leave this place!!!!!! <=
/o:p>
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 660
(7/21/01 3:13 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Amazonite! Sorry to disappoint you, but no....no=
ideas
for funnies with regard to the Varia outfit. What happened was my bro=
ther
was watching that ep with me two weeks ago and got a major Jones when=
he
saw Xena in it. I said, "what about Varia?" He said,
"Who?" hahahahahahaha! So, I'm tryna find the wallpaper to =
send
to him....no luck so far.
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Blaze0915
TX New Member
Posts: 14
(7/21/01 10:36 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
hey SS!
If you're looking for wallpaper with Xena in Varia's outfit here are a
couple. By the way, this is my first attempt with links so I'm sorry =
if
they don't work.
www.angelfire.com/scifi/blitzgalpapers/xenapic90.html
www=
.geocities.com/bcoxena/11dangerousprey.html
these aren't wallpapers, just pictures (but she still looks good!) so=
you
can so whatever you want with these.
www.xenarealm.=
com/images/x_dp01.jpg
I hope you can use these. I can try to find more if you like, just le=
t me
know. BTW, excellent job on the parodies! I've never laughed so hard =
in
my life! You're truly gifted, keep it up!
Blaze
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 668
(7/21/01 10:52 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Hey Blaze! Thanks so much! Your linking skills a=
re
perfection!
My brother will be most happy if I can manage to send them across ema=
il
to him.
....and I'm sure Deadly is doing handstands as well (haha)
They are great shots!
Glad you enjoyed the parodies. Please contribute!
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SuperCharger9000
![](3D"PaodyList_files/image014.gif=)
TX New Member
Posts: 25
(7/22/01 12:47 am)
![](3D"PaodyList_files/image010.gif")
|
Re: Parody list
I simply have to add this...
From the Xena:Warrior Pot Solstace Special...
Have a hotty potty Solstace,
It's the best time of the year.
We won't know if pots will glow
But have a pot of cheer
Have a hotty potty Solstace,
And when you walk down on the street,
Say hello to pots who glow
And everyone you meet.
Higher higher, the funeral pyre,
Toasty as you see;
They'll warm you when you're standing near
Save her head for me!
Have a hotty potty Solstace
And in case you didn't hear
Oh by golly have a hotty potty
Solstace this year!
(Sincere apologies to the memory of Burl Ives)
Check local listings!
<=
img
border=3D0 width=3D32 height=3D32 src=3D"PaodyList_files/image003.gif=
" v:shapes=3D"_x0000_i1380">
=
ML
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 160
(7/22/01 1:42 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Here's a new twis=
t on the
Parody List.
(should we start a new thread?)
"Characters from other TV Series Appear on Mt. Fuji
for Commentary" ( title by Soulsisters)
*********************************************
Just as the arrows start to fly in the final battle:
"Ding" -- all of the arrows freeze in mid air. Xena looks
around, and she sees Monica and Tess standing there all full of light=
.
Monica : "Xena, what aire ye doin'? Gawd loves yu don't ya know.
You've been tryin' to make up fer yer past all these years, and it's =
been
breakin' his hairt. You've got to forgive yerself Xena, because Gawd
already has, oh so many years ago. These people will be fine. Andrew =
has
already taken 'em home. Let yer past go. Give it to Gawd. Then you wi=
ll
be free. Go on now, back to yer wee little friend. She loves yu, and =
the
tu of you have so much more good to do now, here, on airth."
Xena protests, but Monica and Tess convince her to to the right thing=
.
Tess: Go on Baby, go find Gabrielle.
Edited by: sirach1
at: 7/26/01 7:36:48 pm
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bekkyo
TX New Member
Posts: 73
(7/22/01 2:36 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
In a time of ancient demons, samurai, and
teahouses...a land in the Far East=
cried
out for a war criminal. She was Xena, killed in a rain of arrows. The
pain, the agony, the deceit. Her death would avenge 40,000.
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 162
(7/22/01 3:23 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
The arrows are fl=
ying.
Xena takes one in the arm and is pinned to a cartwheel.
Janeway (in full samurai garb): Computer, freeze program.
Seven: Captain?
Janeway: Computer, is this how Xena died?
Computer: Affirmative. She was decapitated on stardate 10619.1.
Janeway: Computer, rewind to the Tea House. Seven, do you recognize t=
his
species?
Seven: Yes. It is species 6969. A photonic species that deceives
it’s victims by posing as ghosts and using the guilt in a perso=
ns
mind to lure them into committing suicide.
Janeway: That’s what I thought. Bleep. All senior crew to the
bridge, immediately!
~On the Bridge~
Janeway: Mr Tuvok. I want you to open a temporal rift with this stard=
ate
as the target, 10619.1
Tuvok: But Captain, the temporal prime directive…
Janeway: To hell with the prime directive. Do it now, Mr. Tuvok! Mr.
Paris: Lay in a course for these coordinates (jappa).
Paris: =
Aye
Captain.
Voyager arrives at the scene just as the Katana is coming down on
Xena’s neck.
Janeway: Mr. Kim, beam her directly to sick bay, NOW!
Kim: Got her.
Janeway: bleep. Dr?
Doctor: She’s here captain. Quite a bloody mess. I am trying to
revive her now.
Janeway. On my way. Seven, B'lana, you’re with me.
In sick bay. The doctor is treating Xena with a Triquarter. Xena wake=
s up
Xena: Where in Tartarus am I and who the hell are you?
Janeway: I am Captain Katherine Janeway of the Federation Starship
Voyager. You are on a starship.
Xena: You mean I'm dead.
Janeway: No, you aren't dead. We've come to help you. You see, that t=
hing
you think is Yodoshi and Akemi is actually a holographic species that
pretends to be a ghost to lure you into committing suicide. The ghost
killer is from your future, a time traveller. His "katana" =
is
actually a photon disrupter.
Xena: A whoro what?
Janeway: It's difficult to explain. Right now we need to get b=
ack
down there and terminate them.
Xena: Gabrielle?
Janeway: On screen. She's there, looking for you. Come on , let's go.=
~Janeway, Seven, B'lana and Xena in the transporter room~
Janeway: Energize!
~They materialize in front of Gabrielle~
Gabrielle: What the..?
Xena: It's difficult to explain.
Janeway: Come on. Take these phasers. You can disrupt their energy fl=
ow
and they will return to their own realm.
----Zing, Zap, whing, whir---
Seven: I believe that it the last of species 6969 Captain.
Janeway: Good work. Now Xena, In the future when you run into a situa=
tion
like this. Try to use your head.
Gabrielle: Where are you from again?
Janeway: We are from the delta quadrant. We are from 4000 years in yo=
ur
future and we are trying to return to earth.
Gabrielle: You are on Earth now. Why don't you stay, you and Seven=
230;
Xena: yeah, and B'lana…
Janeway. We can't we have to get back to our own time.
Gabrielle: What if you could just stay here without aging until your
time?
Xena: Yeah, we have this friend, his name is Ares…. it's
difficult to explain…
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|
bekkyo
TX New Member
Posts: 75
(7/22/01 8:39 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
OHMYGODS!!! Sirach, you are a genius!!! I would
loooove to see that episode of Voyager..er...or that episode of X:WP.=
I
can't get over it..that is SO GOOD!!!
|
|
soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 679
(7/22/01 8:39 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
sirach !!!!!!!!!! OMYGAWD!!!!!!
Two in one day!!!! Clearly you will rule this thread!!!
Ahhhh, the tears, the tears.....ahhhh.
Thank you!
(Xena: It's difficult to explain.) bbwwaahhaaaaaa
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 163
(7/22/01 9:18 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Thank you , thank you.
I know, 2 in one day. I may be wiped out for a while!
(I think it's just my fantasies coming out... )
Who's next?! This is SO fun
"As much fun to pop as it is to eat!"
BTW: Thanks for the Hotty Potty Super C ! Too much
|
|
soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 680
(7/22/01 11:03 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
ER
THE LAST BATTLEGROUND
An EVAC medical helicopter hovers over the Last Battleground.
Kiwi Samurai’s horse rears with fright and throws him, knocking=
him
unconscious. Samurai foot soldiers scatter in terror, dodging radioac=
tive
tree limbs plummeting from the sky.
IN THE HELICOPTER
DR. GREENE
There she is!
The helicopter descends into a scene of utter horror. An emergency te=
am
disembarks and runs over to a crumpled, bloody body, punctured with
arrows, lying on the ground. The severed head is lying a few feet awa=
y.
DR. BENTON
I’ve seen this before. She’s got a chance.
Quick! She may be going into shock.
Let’s get her back to the ER.
Fade: THE ER
The head is on one gurney. The body on another. The ER is a frenzy of
activity. Dr. Benton takes the head between his hands and looks into =
the
suspicion-filled eyes.
DR. BENTON
Can you tell us your name?
How many fingers do I have up?
XENA (sneering; eyes darting around the room)
Who’s askin’? And you’ll be gettin’ those
fingers outta my nose or they’ll be 'UP'
somewhere you don’t want ‘em. And
where am I? This ain't the kind of
teahouse I'm used to.
Xena spots Dr. Jing-Mei.
XENA (grinning)
Who’s that?
DR. GREENE
That’s Dr. Jing-Mei. I’m Dr. Greene.
He’s Dr. Benton. We’re preparing for
surgery to reattach your head to your
body.
XENA (ogling Jing-Mei)
Can she help? You know…in case I need
resuscitation or anything like that…..
The body on the gurney begins fibrillating. Xena looks embarrassed.
XENA
Aaahm…ha…umm...don’t mind that.
Just throw a kimono over it.
DR. BENTON
Look we don’t have time for this.
We’re a bit worried about brain stem
failure, but you’re young and healthy.
We think you’ll make it. And with several
months rehab in hot tubs you…..
As if on cue, Gabrielle stumbles into the room, the back of her shirt
ripped and smoldering.
GABRIELLE
XNA!! V BN LKNG ALL VR FR YU!!
YDSHI S RT N MY ASS!!!
DR. GREENE
Who the….?! What did she say?
And what’s that bilious green dragon
doing painted on her back?
XENA
It’s difficult to explain. But, that’s
Gabrielle, my soulmate. She says
she’s been looking all over for me,
and that Yodoshi is right on her ass!
DR. BENTON
Yo who?
DR. GREEN
Oh, does she have a speech impediment?
Cuz, we’ve got a great speech and hearing
clinic here and we can work with her if
she wants. We even remove tattoos….
That’s not covered by insurance tho..and…
XENA
No, you don’t understand! She’s carrying water
in her mouth from the Fountain of Strength! It
will cause me to rematerialize and I won’t need
your surgery!
Suddenly, a whoosh is heard and a spinning, ominous, tornado cloud
crashes thru a wall and fills the ER. Screeching to a halt, the cloud
dissipates and Yodoshi, Lord of the Dark World, stands grimacing at t=
he
staff. As he begins to freeze-dry and suck up surgeons, nurses,
orderlies, patient advocates, insurance drones, and a variety of medi=
cal
equipment, Gab runs to Xena’s head and ‘transfers’ =
the
water into her mouth. Xena’s body triple somersaults off the gu=
rney
and, pivoting, attaches right to her head. A SACRED katana appears in=
her
hand as the reconnection is completed.
With a vicious, jumping, spinning back kick, Xena knocks Yodoshi off =
his
feet. As he stumbles, she yells, swinging the katana severing his hea=
d.
Pouring out of his body are the surgeons, nurses, orderlies, patient
advocates, insurance drones and medical equipment, plus an assortment=
of
farm animals, furniture, trees, boulders, chapstick tubes, musical
instruments, a chia pet, jelly sandals, chop sticks, rubber bands, po=
tted
plants, paper clips, casino chips, condoms, lamp shades, old Chung Ki=
ng
containers, the Yellow Pages and a barbecue grill.
DR. GREENE
BY THE GODS! I don’t understand!
What just happened here???!!!
Xena and Gabrielle head for the door arm in arm.
XENA and GABRIELLE
(smiling at each other)
It’s difficult to explain.
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 8/1/01 10:00:54 pm
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|
soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 688
(7/23/01 8:27 am)
|
Re: Parody list
omygawd, sirach....go over to OFF TOPIC and
look at:
How do you know when you,ve been on TX too long?
bbwwaaaaahaaaaaaa
|
|
graciewc
TX Member
Posts: 271
(7/23/01 4:05 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Cool, Sirach!
As for ER, well, maybe their writers will kill them this year. One can
only hope...
Gracie
|
|
Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 225
(7/23/01 4:10 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Sister soul,
You MUST either volunteer your time over at the Virtual Xena site or
continue to write stories here!! Pleeeez? I'll be your agent---gratis=
.
|
|
soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 703
(7/23/01 4:44 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Don't toy with me, Wine.
|
|
Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 229
(7/23/01 5:06 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
OK, so I'm not an agent...BUT, I know talent whe=
n I
see it and you make lots of people smile and I'm gonna encourage you
whether you want me to or not so there. <VBG>
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|
&nbs=
p;
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Author
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Comment <=
/span>
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 165
(7/23/01 7:08 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Soul!!
Get me some O2 STAT! I can't breathe from ROFLMAO&ROFL some more!=
!
Not "insurance drones", OH NO!
"...Chung King wrappers , The yellow pages and a barbeque
grill"
OHMYGOD, I'm dying with hysteria!
On my way to OT now... =
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Runt
TX Member
Posts: 171
(7/23/01 7:10 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
SS, I almost woun=
d up in
the ER from laughing so hard! Now excuse me while I go pick up my lung
off the floor- that was a good one!
Sorry I've been gone, I was out of town in Philly to see Madonna and =
OMG,
now THAT's something to distract one's attention...anyway, glad to see
the creativity and humor of this thread continues unabated!
Here's an idea for a new thread: Life with the Ghost and Mrs. Muir! I=
can
see a lot of embarrasing situations for Gabs and her very
"spirited" partner! Just think how it all has a new twist n=
ow-
camping, cooking, etc...I'll start one here and we can move it over if
you want:
THE HAIRCUT (PART ONE)
SCENE: Gabs rides Argo down a dusty road towards a town. Xena walks
beside her, squints her eyes at the town ahead.
Gabs (sighs): "It's good to see civilization again. I swear I'm
getting a saddle sore!"
Xena: "Let me check that for you!" She plunges her head thr=
ough
Argo, directly under Gab's behind.
Gabs (yelps): "Xena! Cut that out!"
Xena (muffled): "Iph muph phi umi!"
Gabs (squirming): "What?"
Xena (pulling back, looks up with a big grin): " I said it looks
just FINE to me!"
Gabs: "Oh, you think you can be cute with this dead stuff, don't
you? Now-" she breaks off as she looks up.
Gabs: "Look, someone's coming, you behave yourself this time, I'm
tired of looking like a- Xena?" She looks around but her warrior
ghost has disappeared.
A peasant on a donkey pulls up in front of Gabs. The man looks around,
following Gab's gaze.
Man: "Looking for something, me lady?"
Gabs (smiles): "Oh, just a-Xena!" She jumps up from the sad=
dle
with a yelp.
Man (tilts head): "Just a what?"
Gabs (swats at the saddle): "Xena, REALLY!"
Man (confused): " Zeenareely?"
Gabs (squirming, looking around): "Uh, seen a really good-"
(she kicks the stirrup into the air)" CUT IT- I mean, have you s=
een
a good cut- ah, a barber! Yes! I'd like to get my hair cut in
tow-OWn!"
Man (looks quizically at Gabs, who is trying to settle back down in t=
he
saddle): " A barber- yes...happens to be right next door to the
healer, perhaps you'd like to pay her a visit-"
Gabs: "Oh STOP IT ALREADY!" She gyrates madly in the saddle=
.
Man: "Or maybe not..." He backs up the donkey to flee.
Gabs: "Wait! Sir! " She watches as he beats the donkey into=
a
gallop and tears off.
To be continued.....THE HAIRCUT, PART TWO....it's "shear" m=
adness!
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 707
(7/23/01 7:29 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Runt!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!! hahahah! Oh, gawd..I don't
think I can trust myself inside the barber shop with all those sharp
instruments. Someone else take over, pleeze.
And, Runt, PLEEEZE, OH PLEEEZE, run and get your bar room scene with =
Gab
delivering water in her mouth to the customers and put it here in Par=
ody.
It is superior and deserves to be seen again and again!
Glad you had fun?? with Madonna.
ss
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 7/23/01 7:56:27 pm
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Runt
TX Member
Posts: 173
(7/23/01 8:07 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
I didn't have fun with Madonna personally (sighs=
), but
oh my, she's quite buff and well worth the price of admisson! We did =
go
out later to some all-night club called "Shampoo" - I think
that's French for "butt-grope" as mine was under attack by =
the
locals....
Well then, per the special request of SS, whom I cannot refuse (as she
has put so many smiles on my face with her humor), here's the repost =
of
my FIN parody: FIN, RESTAURANT STYLE
Runt and gang pull up in front of the Pig 'N Ale, home of fine beer a=
nd
swine, for the restaurant's final night of business.
Ignoring people retching in the bushes outside, Runt pulls open the h=
eavy
wooden door and is immediately greeted by the tip of Xena's sword.
Xena: "You looking for trouble or food?"
Runt: "Urg- uh, food, please."
Xena:"Subtext or non-subtext?"
Enitre gang: "Subtext!"
Xena: "Don't know why we ask, no one ever wants to sit in that o=
ther
section."
The gang is seated at a heavy wooden table. Gabrielle bounces over and
stands next to Xena.
Runt (looks around room): "What happened to the awesome weapons
collection?"
Xena: "Auctioned it all off last week."
Gabs: "Basically, if it wasn't nailed down, it's gone. Now, what
will you all be drinking?"
Runt: "Whaddaya got?"
Gabs: "Weak ale in leaking mugs, and water. Actually, we sold the
cups," She rolls her eyes "so I'm having to bring all the w=
ater
in my mouth."
Entire table: "We'll take WATER!"
Gabs: "Everyone wants water! I've been so busy tonight!" She
runs off, the entire table staring after her.
Xena (slaps Runt in the head with a leather-bound menu): "Should=
n't
you be staring at this?"
Runt: "Oh, I'll take the usual- Pork of Vengeance. "
Xena: "All out. Special menu tonight only."
Runt: "What's this? Jappafornia roll? SushiYodushi? Chicken Lao =
Ma?
What's up?"
Xena: "New chef for tonight only- Ahkickme."
Runt: "Why change it now?"
Xena: "So you'll never forget your last meal here, Mr. T. has ma=
de
sure that your dinner will be undercooked, improperly handled, and su=
re
to leave a bad taste in your mouth!"
Gabs comes back, cheeks puffed out.
Gabs: "Hmph!" She gestures towards the door.
Xena: "What?"
Gabs (swallows- the table moans in disappointment): "Xena, at the
door- it's HIM."
Runt: "Who?"
Xena: "The ROAST KILLER. Ok, I'll handle this." She storms =
over
to the door.
Roast Killer: "Xena, you are responsible for the death of 40,000
pigs for this restaurant, and I- gack!"
Man slides to floor. Xena re-sheaths her sword.
Xena: "Make that 40,000 and ONE."
Loud explosion heard from the kitchen. Gabrielle rolls her eyes.
Gabs: "Xena, I told you she can't be trusted in that
kitchen..."
Xena: "C'mon, she's sorta cute..."
Gabs: "Xena, for crying out loud, she's back there talking to her
dead grandfather!"
Another explosion rocks the restaurant. Everyone runs for the door.
A final explosion and.....fish guts rain down everywhere.
Xena (ducks, shakes head): "Great. Fish guts. Again." She l=
ooks
sideways at Gabrielle.
Gabs: "Guess grandpa can't cook after all."
Xena: "Well, what do we do now?"
Gabs: " I say we go West. I hear they could use a girl with a fr=
ying
pan out there."
Xena places arm around Gabs and they stroll off together.
Xena: "Gabrielle?"
Gabs: "Hm?"
Xena: "What's in that little pot you're carrying?"
Gabs: "Oh that? It's our tips, silly- how else do you think we'll
start a business!"
FIN
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 171
(7/23/01 8:14 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Sup=
erior
indeed!!!
I read that when you first posted it and nearly died laughing. Sushi =
will
never be the sa-a-a-ame!
Thank for sharing it again.
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|
soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 711
(7/23/01 8:15 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Ahhh, Runt -- that is the best!
Wiping tears away, yet again....
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 718
(7/24/01 9:18 am)
|
Re: Parody list
Wine,
Actually, I COULD use a personal banker. heh...heh...
My stock portfolio is deeper than tuna terds.
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 7/24/01 9:19:55 am
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Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 260
(7/24/01 4:16 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Um soul, I have been known to make house calls..=
.plus
I can grill a wicked tuna filet. Of course, I'll bring a wineskin fil=
led
with your favorite Chardonnay. All this and more when you open a free
checking account!
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Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 261
(7/24/01 4:38 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
You guys are going to have to support me when I =
lose
my job and they put me in an asylum for laughing like an idiot at my
computer screen which SHOULD be displaying alot of boring financial s=
tuff
and memos from equally boring people! But until then, thanks for the
stress relief and all the belly laughs. <=
o:p>
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 736
(7/24/01 5:09 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Geez, Wine. And I'm old enough to
remember when banks gave you a
toaster for signing up. And THAT
was when they had a little item
called a passbook. hahaha!
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 737
(7/24/01 5:14 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Can everybody do the voice?
ROD STAPERLING PRESENTS
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick…..
“You move through this portal in the vehicle of imagination. Be=
yond
it is another dimension -- a dimension of leather, a dimension of
subtext, a dimension of fry pans and hot tubs.You’re moving int=
o a
land of both abs and biceps, of atomic fusion and pre-tech
transcontinental travel. You’ve just crossed over into… T=
he
Xenite Zone!”
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick…..
Witness Xena of Amphipolis. Take it ALL in. She is 33 years old. Or
perhaps 58. We don’t know. A pre-Mycenaen war criminal some
conjecture. A warrior in fact. A charter member in the sorority of
eye-candy.
You’re now looking at the hapless Gabrielle of Potadaiea. 30 ye=
ars
old. Or perhaps 55. It’s difficult to explain. Her hopes=
and
dreams with Xena will be crushed forever, this fateful Jappa evening.=
Because Xena has a singular talent. She is able to synchronize Japane=
se
ritual, Judeo-Christian dogma and Greek pantheology into a unique yet
pointless world view, thereby enabling her to sacrifice all for nothi=
ng.
Join us. Watch as Xena of Amphipolis, in a failure-laden, grasping yet
ridiculous quest for redemption, will lose her soulmate in a cheap and
tawdry teahouse just this side of hell.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick…..
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 7/31/01 9:56:10 pm
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Wineskin
TX Member
Posts: 262
(7/24/01 9:07 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Soul, you're really in the Zone, LOL. How about =
giving
The Alfred Hitchpot Hour a try?
Good eeeevening....
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 172
(7/24/01 9:16 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Spooooky...
Surely nothing like tha could really happen!
"sacrifice all for nothing" and Difficult to Explain,
where does the suspense end??!!! aaahhhh!
nu nu nu nu, nu nu nu nu.....<=
/span>
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bekkyo
TX New Member
Posts: 79
(7/24/01 9:36 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
hahaha....another good one soul.
We don't want another hero,
We don't need Laura or Pez,
All we want is Xena to have a head. =
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 186
(7/25/01 9:17 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny walk into the Samu=
rai
camp and see Xena strung up.
Cartman: Whoa dude, they killed Xena, those bastards!
Kyle: Bummer dude. Where's her head anyway?
Stan: We'd better find Gabrielle and tell her.
Cartman: I'll stay here and guard her body.
Kyle: No way man, you'll just make chili out of her!
Kenny: Mwrr mwr mmwwer.
Cartman: Dude, here comes that maniac frekazoid with a huge knife!
All: AAHH! Run!!!
Arriving at the Tea House
Stan: Hey maybe we can hide in there!
Kyle: Yeah man, we can hide in there.
Cartman: I hope they have some cheesy puffs.
Enter tea house.
Kyle: Uh, hi we're from southpark and we're looking for uh, ...
Cartman, naked in the hot tub: Whoa dudes, check it out! splash splas=
h.
Stan: Cartman get your fat ass out of there.
Cartman: Look bubbles!!!
Kyle: Come on man, get serious.
Stan: We just cam from a camp down the mountain. We're looking for
Gabrielle.
Kyle: Yeah man, somebody just axed Xena, and well, we thought she'd w=
ant
to know.
Yodoshi roars in to the tea house: Respect my authoritah!
Akemi takes a swipe at him with the katana, but misses and cuts Kenny=
in
half.
Cart, Kyle, Stan: OHMYGOD!! She killed Kenny!
Cartman: You hippie b**ch! Now I'm gonna make you eat your parents!
Kyle: He'll do it dude!
Knock Knock
Stan: Hey, it's Gabrielle.
Kyle: Gabrielle, you gotta come with us. We found Xena! Well, sort of=
.
Gabrielle: what are you tater-tots talking about? Where is she? You'd
better not be lying!
Stan: no dude, we're totally telling the truth! Come on!
Arriving at the camp.
Stan: There man, see! We weren't lying.
Cartman: Whoa man (watching Gab puke), what did she have for dinner. =
That
reeks worse that a fat lady's a** in July.
Gabrielle: Give me her head!!
Cartman: I wish she'd give ME some hea...
Kyle: Shut up Cartman.
Stan: Here it is! Here's her head dude.
Stan: OK, now we have to put her head back on, kinda like that. Where=
's
the duct tape?
Kyle: Here dude.
Stan: All fixed dude.
Xena and Gab: How can we ever thank you guys?
Kyle: Oh it's OK dudes. We just like doing good deeds for people.
Back at the Tea House
Akemi: Kenny! You've redeemed us all!
Edited by: sirach1
at: 7/31/01 6:39:25 pm
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Runt
TX Member
Posts: 187
(7/25/01 9:31 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Sirach! OMG! I am laughing so hard MY head almos=
t came
off..... "What did she eat" (when Gabs was puking- tooooo
funny!)
Maybe Yodoshi should have recruited Kyle's mom, since she's such a
B****H! (I love when Cartman does his song about her!)
Hey, has Cartman tried Gab's famous chicken POT pie? ![3D";)"](3D"PaodyList_files/image013.gif")
Barfbag On!
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 190
(7/25/01 9:40 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
BarfBag On! I love it!
HaHa POT pie!! I think we could really "have a time" doing a
full length crossover with these dudes! Only it would be "shorter
and cut".
SOULSISTERS!! Your post is over 2000 hits! COOL!!
Edited by: sirach1
at: 7/26/01 6:47:06 am
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 780
(7/26/01 6:56 am)
|
Re: Parody list
Congratulations to us all!
(At least 1,000 of those hits is me
tweaking my musings...hahaha!)
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 196
(7/26/01 6:47 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Face Face Face (t=
o the
tune of George Michael's Faith)
------------------------------------------
Well I guess it would be wise
If you would find my body
And not only my body
But find my head too.
Cause I've got to think twice
Before I give my life away
For throwing flames astray
Because I did not mean to.
Oh, so I need some time off from that redemption
Time to pick my head up off the floor.
Oh when that ax comes down without exemption
It takes a strong girl Gabby, I was born for something more.
Because I've got to have a face
I've got to have a face
Because I've got to have a face face face
I've got to have a face face face
Gabby, I know they’re asking me to stay
Stay please please please don't go we pray.
They say Ive got to pay my dues.
May-be they mean every word they say
Can't help but think of Yodoshi
And another who tied me down to ven-ge-ance rules.
Before this fountain be-comes frozen
Before you throw my ashes on the floor
Oh Gabby, I reconsider my foolish notion
Well I need for you to hold me but not in a POT!
Yes, I've got to have a face
I've got to have a face
I've got to have a face a face a face
I've got to have a face face face
Edited by: sirach1
at: 7/27/01 6:00:13 pm
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 806
(7/27/01 6:42 am)
|
Re: Parody list
Superior, sirach!!
The POT be with you!
soul
|
|
&nbs=
p;
|
Author
|
Comment <=
/span>
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 818
(7/27/01 1:22 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
sirach, I just read your Adams Appley again
and spit Coke all over my desk.
You may be proud......
soul
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Daring
Dragoon2
TX Member
Posts: 821
(7/27/01 6:21 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
OMG!These are too funny!
ROTFLM@$$O!!!!
DD2 ~VIVE LA RESISTANCE!~
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 206
(7/27/01 6:25 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
DD- Great to see you laughing!! ![3D":D"](3D"PaodyList_files/image015.gif")
These are so fun and healing.It's been great therapy for me. Do one o=
f your
own!
And it's all thanks to SSis. <=
/span>
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Daring
Dragoon2
TX Member
Posts: 823
(7/27/01 6:30 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
I would but umm I'm not really good at stuff like
this!I just enjoy reading them!
It's good to be laughing!
DD2 ~VIVE LA RESISTANCE!~
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bekkyo
TX New Member
Posts: 84
(7/29/01 12:23 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Bump this back to the first page where it belong=
s.
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 857
(7/29/01 2:09 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
sirach!!!!!!
You're up in lights!!!!!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaayy!
Congratulations!
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 228
(7/29/01 6:31 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Way Hay!! (That's how Kipper says WooHoo!)
My 15 minutes of fame... can't think of a better place to have them.<=
br>
That is my most-favorite quote from the whole series. I've thought of=
it
almost evey day since I first heard it. It gives me a lot of hope.
SSis - I thought of you today, they had a special "behind the
blow" on Weird Al on MTV. You could do it too!
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skippi13
TX Member
Posts: 512
(7/29/01 6:37 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
OMG...these are too funny...oh geez stomach
hurts...laughing too hard....To all who posted here you all are
talented!!!!! Thank you so much for the laughs!!!!!!!! skip
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 864
(7/29/01 6:40 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
sirach,
Weird Al is one of my Olympian Gods.
|
|
sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 229
(7/29/01 6:51 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Thanks Skip!! I'm sure there's more come.
Sis- You should copyright some of your stuff, and send it to Weird Al=
. Ya
never know...
Do you play an accordian BTW? =
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 865
(7/29/01 7:20 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
sirach, alas only guitar and piano. I know, I
know...they're not cool like the accordian....sigh...where did my par=
ents
go wrong? And I even LIVED in Cleveland
for a while.
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|
sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 235
(7/30/01 11:34 am)
|
Re: Parody list
Sequel too (to Pa=
tsy
Cline's She's got you)
I’ve got your pictures
And your figurines
Some with autographs
Made out just to me
The only thing missing
The only thing due
A motion picture
And a sequel too
I’ve got the soundtracks
And a hat to wear
The autographed plaques
The daily calendar
The only thing missing
The only thing due
A motion picture
And a sequel too
I’ve got your memorabilia
Or has it got me
I just want a show
A new show
A full-length mo-vie-e-e
I’ve got your chakram
And a doll with hair
Trading cards and game
The mugs and glassware
The only thing missing
The only thing due
A motion picture
And a sequel too
I’ve got the autographed comics, the books, the videos, the CD
ROMS, the T-shirt, the magazines, the bookmarks, the watches, the clo=
cks,
the stand-ups, the wallets, the toys, the scripts, the keyrings, the
posters, the pins, the refrigerator magnets, the medallions, the butt=
ons,
the statues, the busts (aaahh the busts...)
The only thing missing
The only thing due
A motion picture
And a sequel too
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 877
(7/30/01 11:37 am)
|
Re: Parody list
sirach,
The only thing YOU GOT is:
YOU GOT IT BAD!!! LOL
Excellent! As usual!
ss
|
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bekkyo
TX New Member
Posts: 88
(7/30/01 7:27 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Another good one, sirach! That "song" =
hits
home. LOL
|
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 247
(7/30/01 8:24 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Yeah, it's a parody of ME (or maybe even US?)
We just gotta love ourselves don't we?!
|
|
soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 917
(7/31/01 9:38 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
Welcome depressed refugees!!
We, the insane of the PARODY LIST
offer instant refreshment here!
Please help us to keep it going
as the FINALE RECOVERY PROJECT
is still underway! ![3D":smokin"](3D"PaodyList_files/image016.gif")
sirach!! update your list, hon!
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Aileen
Warrior Princess
TX Member
Posts: 130
(7/31/01 10:12 pm)
|
Re: Parody list
You guys come up with the wackiest, funniest thi=
ngs!!
"Ahkickme" :-)
"Respect my authoritah." I haven't seen South Park
in a long while but that was one of the funniest and to picture that
coming out of Yodoshi's mouth, so good! <=
o:p>
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 257
(8/1/01 6:59 am)
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| | |
![3D"Gold](3D"PaodyList_files/image001.gif")
![](3D"PaodyList_files/image002.gif")
![](3D"PaodyList_files/image003.gif")
![](3D"PaodyList_files/image008.gif")
![](3D"PaodyList_files/image009.gif")
![3D":b"](3D"PaodyList_files/image012.gif")
Now
you got me doin' it too!![www.xenarealm.= com/images/x_dp01.jpg](3D"http://www.xenarealm.com/images/x_dp01.jpg"){kind=link}