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Tori88
TX New Member
Posts: 22
(8/24/01 7:44 pm)
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Re: Parody list
two
You all are a blast!.....I have an extremely weak bladder. Too
much....lol
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antony
girl
TX New
Member
Posts: 96
(8/25/01 12:13
am)
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Re: Parody list
two
“Born in Eastern Thrace”
by Xena Springsteen
Born down in
a sheep herdin’ town
The first kick I took was when Cortese came
around
He killed my brother, name of Ly-ce-us
So I end up as a
pirate with severe blood lust
Born in Eastern Thrace
I was
born in Eastern Thrace
I was born in Eastern Thrace
Born in
Eastern Thrace
Got in a little high seas jam
Caesar put
nails in both my hands
I rode off to the eastern lands
To go
and kill ev-e-ry man
Born in Eastern Thrace
I was born in
Eastern Thrace
I was born in Eastern Thrace
I was born in
Eastern Thrace
Born in Eastern Thrace
Come back home when
Herc converted me
Villagers try to stone me, in walks
Ga-a-bby
Put a stop to my untimely end
Et voila, I got a new
best friend
We fought for justice and we caught some
fish
Subbers screaming for a kiss
Still not sure if they got
their wish
Samurais gather ‘round me in the forest
mist
Since I catch arrows, who thought I’d miss now
Down
in the shadow of Mt. Fuji-San
Took out that dude with all the
makeup on
Still had to die, said the powers that be
Now I’m
nothing but pottery
Born in Eastern Thrace
I was born in
Eastern Thrace
Born in Eastern Thrace
I’m a long gone princess
from Eastern Thrace
Born in Eastern Thrace
Born in Eastern
Thrace
Born in Eastern Thrace
I’m a cremated princess from
Eastern Thrace
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 1290
(8/25/01 9:03 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
ROTF!!!!!!!!!! 
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antony
girl
TX Member
Posts:
130
(8/26/01 1:35 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
"Chakrams Are a Girl's Best Friend" from "Princesses Prefer
Blondes"
by Gabrielle
I used to love my little
stick
Thought whacking awfully thrilling
But now I’ve found
something that’s round
And made for brutal killing
A staff
in the hand may be quite sentimental
But chakrams are a girl’s
best friend
A staff may be grand, but it won’t dent the
metal
Of a warlord’s hat, or gut a carp in two secs
flat
Sais grow weak as bootstraps creak
But at least they
aren’t topped with a beak
But light, dark, or as one
A
chakram’s just plain fun
Chakrams are a girl’s best friend
…Dismembering … Injuries …Talk to me, God of War, tell me
all about ‘em!
I used to just talk till the bad guys were
illin’
But chakrams are a girl’s best friend
There may come a
time when some psycho blonde villain
Breaks one on your back
But by next season you’re back on track
Xe’s your mate
when times are great
But beware when in the Or-i-ent
It’s then
that your princess will get all pen-i-tent
Chakrams are a girl’s
best friend
I’ve heard that the Gauls really dig
catapultin’
But chakrams are a girl’s best friend
And I think
that long swords are completely revoltin’
You call that a knife?
Well, I feel sorry for your wife
Time rolls on and youth is
gone
And you can’t stand to bare your midriff
But saddlebagged
or saggy
You can still toss a
Frisbee
Chakrams…Chakrams…
—I don’t mean shamrocks
But
chakrams—
Are a girl’s best
Best friend
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CJvR
TX Member
Posts: 157
(8/26/01 8:45 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
Great Imagination SoulSis...
Wonderful A-G!
CJvR Edited by: CJvR
at: 8/26/01 7:47:13 am
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ubabe
TX New Member
Posts: 34
(8/26/01 12:16 pm)
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Re: Parody list
two
I just want to say these are wonderful, fun and I love
'em.
ubabe
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sirach1
TX Member
Posts: 290
(8/27/01 12:45 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
Holy Toledo! You guys are
smokin'!!
*************************************
This needs
work, but wanted to post it while I
could:
___________________________________________
Welcome to
the Maury Povitch Show!
Today on Maury: Hero’s who have
“invisible” partners. Stick around!
Maury: Hello everyone.
Today we are going to meet three action heroes who claim to be
accompanied by an “invisible” partner. People have seen these heroes
in the throes of the battle talking to what seems to be themselves,
but in fact, they are talking to their “partners”.
Our first
guest is a Canadian Mountie currently with the Chicago police
department, Benton Frazier. Come on out Ben
Fraser: That’s
Fray-zer, not Fray-zhur, Sir.
Maury: You’re sensitive about
that!
Fraser: No sir, just want to be precise.
Maury:
How long have you been a police officer?
Fraser: Actually I
am a Deputy Liaison Officer at the Canadian Consulate representing
the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
Maury: for how
long….
Fraser: Yes sir, 15 years sir.
Maury: And how
long have you had this invisible partner?
Fraser: For about 7
years sir. Since my father was murdered in 1994 in the NW territory.
Where you see, he was investigating ….
Maury: OK OK, who is
this “partner”.
Fraser: Well, it is my father sir. His murder
was all my fault.
Maury: How interesting!!!
We’ll be right back with our next guest.
Maury: Our next hero
comes to us from the NYPD, Detective Sara Pezzini.
Pez:
Hey.
Maury: Ms. Pezzini, you claim to have an invisible
partner, why can’t we see him?
Pez: I don’t know man. All's I
know is I can see him and that’s good enough for me.
Maury:
And he talks to you?
Pez: Yeah dude. What of it? What the
hell is this all about anyway?
Maury: Nice
bracelet.
Pez: Well you better not piss me off or you’ll be
eatin’ it.
Maury: OK OK, so who is your “friend”.
Pez:
His name is Danny, he was my partner. He got shot in a bust we were
makin’. It was all my fault.
Maury: Stick around and
meet our last guest. Then we’ll get to the bottom of all of
this!
Maury: Welcome back. Our last guest comes to us from
Egypt. She’s been fighting crime there for a very long long time.
She’s known as the Battling Bard. Welcome Gabrielle…
Gab: Uh
hi. Hey there Pez, Fraser.
Pez&Frazer: Hi
Gabby!
Maury: Thanks for traveling so far to be on our
show.
Gab: That’s OK. I was in town for the Xena convention
anyway.
Maury: Xena convention. Are you a Xena
fan?
Gab: Fan? Are you nuts? I am “Gabrielle”, you know, her
sidekick.
Maury: Uh Huh. I suppose she’s the one who taught
you all of your fighting skills.
Gab: As a matter of fact,
yes.
Maury: I suppose you are going to tell me that Xena is
your invisible friend.
Gab: Again, yes.
Maury: I’ll
ask you, why can’t we see your friends?
Gab: Look I don’t
know. But I can. And I can see Danny and Mr. Fraser
too!
(Xena, Danny and Mr. Fraser are standing togther
talking.
--Xena: OK, which one of you farted.
Mr. Fraser:
Sorry, it was me. Too much American food.
Danny: Things are not
always as they seem)
Gab: Xena! Will you pay attention
please!
Pez& Fraser: Hi Xena!
Xena: Hey guys.
Pez, good work with the blade!
Maury: So you can all see the
other “friends”.
Pez: Yeah dude, get over it.
Gab:
Xena has something to say to Pez and Fraser.
Pez and Fraser
stare at the stage where Xena is standing. The audience can’t see or
hear Xena.
Pez: (eyes filling with tears) No way man, how can
that be? I was there, I saw it.
Fraser: (look of shock on his
face) For me as well. I know what happened.
Maury: What is
Xena saying?! What?? What??
Gab: Well, she just told Pez and
Fraser that Danny’s and Mr. Fraser’s deaths were, well, HER fault.
She has come to redeem herself.
Pez: Hey man, I got a better
idea, I can just turn back time, and we can all be
reunited!
Gab: Do it, now!
Gab wakes up next to Xena
under a tree in Greece.
Gab to Xena: I hate it when I fall
asleep with the TV on. It gives me the weirdest
dreams.
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 1329
(8/27/01 4:27 pm)
Reply
|
Re: Parody list
two
siraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaach!!!!!!!!
It was all my
fault!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROTFMAO!!!!!!!!!
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antony
girl
TX Member
Posts:
186
(8/27/01 4:34 pm)
Reply
|
Re: Parody list
two
LOL, sirach!
And can't ya just see Xena hooking up with Fraser as a mountie? Then
we could have Ares Whiplash tying Gabrielly to some railroad
tracks...
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Toa
Pirinihehe
TX
Member
Posts: 262
(8/27/01 5:34
pm)
Reply
|
Re: Parody list
two
Pity I don't know that show, but it sure was
funny...
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
Richard K [a.k.a.torbaykiwi]
http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/another-xena-fanclub
http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/another-xena-rpg
http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/gabsscrolls |
soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 1357
(8/28/01 10:09 pm)
Reply
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Re: Parody list
two
Big deal! Everyone commissioned Sappho poems back then!
EVILXENA to BORIAS
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and I wonder why your dreadlocks look better than mine,
and my skin always breaks out on the Siberian tundra ,
and I
bloat once a month.
But you always look buff, and get
chicks
to do the nasty atop your Palomino, and I get pissed
,
for I am dying of such jealousy, or so it seems to me.
CALLISTO TO XENA
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and I think I’m looking at me,
but that makes sense,
right?
Because the writers wrote me crazy, right?
and I talk
to myself,
and listen to myself,
and write poetry to myself,
or so it seems to me.
Am I listening? Is anyone there?
XENA TO THE LAST
CENTAUR
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and my tongue breaks at the sheer volume of
fertilizer
you leave on our new lawn.
My nose stuffs up,
and I gag,
and I tremble,
and I grow
disgusted,
thinking, “doesn’t he know how to use a shovel?”
or so it seems to me.
GAB TO
VARIA
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and I want to smash your face in,
because I’M Queen,
not you,
and you embarrassed me in front of the tribe.
And I
tremble and am a weeney,
and know if I confront you,
you’ll
take me down again, or so it seems to me.
B**CH.
XENA TO GURKHAN
There's a moment when I look at
you...
upside down.
Your oaf broke my tongue,
but so
what, I still have one good eye,
that gets to see Gab
dance
half-naked in my hallucinations.
And you get NOTHING! NOTHING DO
YOU HEAR ME!?
BUUWWAAHAAAA, or so it seems to me.
BRUNNHILDA TO GAB
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and I stupidly take my life in my hands,
by trying to
win you from THE Xena.
And you say "Are you insane?"
Perhaps.
Then fire races through my skin,
not to mention over everyone
else’s,
and I shimmer,
and combust,
and…are things getting
warm in here?..
or so it seems to me.
BEOWULF TO GAB
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and want to pay the stick monster to eat Xena ,
and I
can’t believe ,
that you want her,
when you can have a hunk
like me.
Okay, so my hand is burnt...
No big deal… or so it
seems to me.
ODIN TO THE
RHEINMAIDENS
There's a moment when I
look at you all...
and wonder if I can do
all three of you
at once.
Then fire races through my skin,
when I see the
rheingold instead.
And I grow excited.
Wait! Hide! Grinhilda’s
coming!, or so it seems to
me.
CANNIBAL TO GAB
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and I realize,
Damn! I’m out of Crisco.
My heart
breaks,
I take down the spit assembly,
and douse the
fire,
and I fidget... thinking...
margarine might work, or so
it seems to me.
ALTI TO XENA
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and put my hands on you…like last night ,
and see what
you see, hear what you hear.
An irritating blonde.
And the
great Alti trembles,
and develops a migraine,
and wonders how
you stand it, or so it seems to
me.
XENA TO KIWI SAMURAI
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and no speech is left in me,
because my tongue is
gone,
because my head is gone,
and I can’t hear or see,
or
smell anything either.
And I feel a lot shorter, or so it seems
to me.
XENA AND GAB TO THE 3 CLONE
NERDS
There's a moment when we look at
you...
and no speech is left in us.
Our tongues break in
amazement,
at the bottom feeders that high civilization has
bred,
and we tremble,
and grow pale,
and run screaming
into the night, or wish we
could.
GAB TO AKEMI
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and I want to run you through with my sais
Many, many
times, many, many ways.
I’m sick of you Asian girls,
Catching Xena’s eye, and other parts.
And what’s this Yodoshi
bull sh*t scam anyway?
Who are kidding?
I think you should
pay for your own mistakes,
or so it seems to me.
KENJI TO GHOST KILLER
There's a moment when I look at
you...
and hope I don’t look like that,
when I get old.
I
tremble. I shudder.
Ice water runs under my skin.
Nobody
understands a word you say,
you need a bath,
you need a real
job.
I'm not sleeping with you anymore.
I think it’s time for
you to get a new boytoy,
or so it seems to me.
XENA TO GAB
Well, now, that’s kinda scary
Gabrielle
Because ya see
There's a moment when I look at you
TOO...
And I wonder just what the hell you’re thinking,
because frankly, I’m a fencesitter,
and I can’t believe
you’re reading this girly poetry to me,
and I tremble,
that
you might jump my bones in the night.
NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THAT,
but being pregnant once (by Callisto no less)
was plenty
enough, or so it seems to me.
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 9/17/01 7:49:32 am
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antony
girl
TX Member
Posts:
264
(8/28/01 10:27 pm)
Reply
|
Re: Parody list
two
OH...MY...GAWD!!!!!!!! SOULLLL! ROTFLMAAAAAAO!
Bwah ha ha ha ha! You are hilarious!!! ...Or so it seems to
me.
--AG, who sincerely hopes the kidnapper is treating you
well, and giving you lots of paper to write more parodies with
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 1365
(8/29/01 12:07 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
Thanks, ag... 
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 1500
(9/6/01 3:24 pm)
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Re: Parody list
two
A Day in the Life (of Gab)
(Here's the hilarious and awful midi
music
www.geocities.com/Sara1000a/day_life.htm
)
I saw these acrobats, oh boy
They told me Higuchi was
all aflame
And though my skills are rather lame
When Xena
wants to laugh
she says, "Show me Gaaaaaaaaaaab!"
She
watched me vaulting thru the air
I didn't notice that the ladder
moved
A crowd of Japas stood and stared
They watched me
dislocate
neck and legs and arms and nose
and fingers, toes
and both elbooooows
Goddam those acrobats oh boy
I should
have known they faked me out but good
I'm sure that Xena paid
them off
To play me for a fool
I'm nothing but her
toooooool
I'd love to geeeettt her goooooood
Woke up, not
moving fast
tryna scratch under my cast
Crawled my way
downstairs, injured my back
and looking up I noticed Xena's
chak
Smashed her sword, chak and gauntlet too
smeared her
leathers with some glue
Witness protection program took me
in
I can sneak back out when Xena dies in
FIN
Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh……..
So long you assholbats oh
boy
I've introduced them to The Cannibals
And though their
bods were rather hard
I'm sure they'll rub on lard
Now they
know what happens when you try to con the Battling Bard
I like
this Veeeeeengeance thiiiiiiiiiing
Edited by: soulsisters
at: 9/7/01 6:32:07 am
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antony
girl
TX Member
Posts:
526
(9/6/01 9:59 pm)
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|
Re: Parody list
two
Vive la Parodie II!
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Tango
TX Member
Posts: 465
(9/7/01 12:45 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
OMG - Soulsisters!!! The Sappho parodies are hysterical!
Brilliant!
Tango
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 1504
(9/7/01 7:32 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
Thanks, Tango!
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Tango
TX Member
Posts: 471
(9/7/01 8:44 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
I hope you don't mind, Soulsisters, I just posted a link to your
post in Shipper Heaven for those who don't come into the general
forum - those poems are just terrific!! 
Tango
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soulsisters
TX Member
Posts: 1507
(9/7/01 9:03 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
What we worry?
Madonna fans should check out AG's parody
over
in Subtext Central under The Casino is Open.
|
Tango
TX Member
Posts: 472
(9/7/01 9:10 am)
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Re: Parody list
two
Knowing Gabrielle's talent for rap, I thought she could take on
Eminem:
I've been so many
places
I've seen so many faces
But nothing could prepare
me
For the double dose of FIN
I've climbed the highest
mountain
Once or twice but who's countin'
It's not like
anybody cares
'Bout lonely seasick Gab!
Tango
| |
Talking
Xena