Too Lazy to Work

Somewhere between my goal to say “Shut up, Ebert!” without smiling and the leaves turning gold, I became very demotivated. I think it might have been Journalism and not getting into the play.

Yes, I know. A lot of people didn’t get in. But playing Cassandra would have been a dream come true, she’s my favorite Greek character of all time. While I accepted I probably wouldn’t get the part, I thought I might at least get a little role as a chorus member. Alas, nothing. I shrugged it off and decided it didn’t really bother me.. But I guess it did.

I’m happy that Andy and Laura got in.. And that Bridget gets to do the lights.. Which will be fun for her.. But I just.. I don’t know. I feel disconnected from the drama department at the moment.

At least I have my digital camera. And school, for the most part, is okay; chemistry and math are really fun... and the scene I’m doing with my neighbor in drama should be interesting.

Maybe what’s also getting to me is that, shit, this is my second to last year in high school. I have to figure out my future. I should get my licence, a job, and forget about silly school plays and newspapers controlled by the administration.

But at the same time, no. This is my last chance to not worry about “real world” problems like money. My last year to just hang out with Max, Diana, Bridget...

Hmm, well.. I can’t be depressed for very long, I just don’t have that skill. Moose!

Lame posting

We were outside of the church on the green grass, painting signs for the Youth Mass next Sunday. I was the only one there older than 14, and was answering questions about high school.

“Are there Bloods and Crypts at your school?” a young boy asked.

I looked up from my painting without smiling. “Oh yes; it’s absolutely horrible. Why, between them and the Mexican gangs, you can hardly walk to math class without getting stabbed.”

“Is it true that everyone at Milwaukie High School is pregnant?”

“Yes, even some of the boys. That’s why you shouldn’t go there.”

“Oh..”

I laughed and went up to wash the red paint off of my hands. After the third washing, and about five servings of soap, I sadly realized it wasn’t going to come off easily; I guess it was oil-based.

So, once back home, I used some denatured alcohol, no luck. Some paint thinner.. Made my hands burn.. But what finally got it off was a mix of my hand exfoiliator and some vanilla lotion.

My 17th Birthday!

Sickness

I was sick today, so besides watching Mister Roger’s Neighborhood, drinking tea, sleeping, and reading I really didn’t do much.

My dad used to say that a lot of the time you get sick because you “need” to get sick. You’re too stressed or something, and just need a day of rest. I think this is partially true; I’ve just been feeling really unmotivated and somewhat overwhelmed by school, as well as really apprehensive about the Trojan Women auditions.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if I just didn’t try out, but I know that if I don’t I’ll hate myself afterwards... so I guess I just want to get them over with! And tomorrow afternoon they will be done.

At least I still have my birthday to look forward too, it’ll be fun to spend the day with Max. And the Monday after it will be cool because Diana, Bridget, and I will finally be able to hang out...

*sniff*

On Saturday Andy, Max, and I went out to the “Shrewsbury Renaissance Faire” way out in Kings Valley, which turned out to be a 2.5 hour drive!! We all went a little crazy from being in the car for so long and I decided this must be the stupidest idea for an outing I’d ever had...

When we arrived (luckily we still remembered how to walk), we found a large crowd of folks all dressed up in, what I would call, “ye olde wear.” I felt a little out of place with my jeans and sweat shirt, but we continued on past the gate.

The faire was actually pretty cool! There was sword fighting, people walking around telling stories, singing people, jousting with cute horses, and the occasional Monty Python’s Holy Grail line being shouted from the crowd. I ate a “banger with sauerkraut” which was pretty gross, but I was really hungry so it didn’t matter.

Max went on for the rest of the day about how great his meal had been..

Then Andy bought a sword, and we all climbed into the car for the ride home.

The next day I was feeling sick, and discovered that one of my wisdom teeth was beginning to come out, ouch.


Today I was totally bummed when Diana said she couldn’t make it to my birthday thing with Bridget. We rescheduled for Monday afternoon, assuming Bridget doesn’t have to work then.. But it just isn’t the same and I’m not sure if I really want to do it then anyway. So much for a fun birthday..

Well, Max said he’d hang out with me so that’s cool. I don’t even want to think about what it’ll be like when he gets a job too... sad days. I can’t get a job this year because of drama, and next year if I direct... well, maybe I won’t. But I do need money..

Stupid jobs.

Now I have to figure out what stupid news story that "doesn't offend the administration" I can write for the stupid school paper.

Blah!! I think I need to make some cookies..

And he was overcome with sadness. His flower had told him that she was the only one of her kind in all the universe. And here were five thousand of them, all alike, in one single garden!

"She would be very much annoyed," he said to himself, "if she should see that . . . She would cough most dreadfully, and she would pretend that she was dying, to avoid being laughed at. And I should be obliged to pretend that I was nursing her back to life--for if I did not do that, to humble myself also, she would really allow herself to die. . ."

Then he went on with his reflections: "I thought that I was rich, with a flower that was unique in all the world; and all I had was a common rose. A common rose, and three volcanoes that come up to my knees--and one of them perhaps extinct forever . . . That doesn't make me a very great prince . . ."

And he lay down in the grass and cried.


The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery

Going to School

I’m sitting in the empty Journalism room. Bridget left to get ready to sing at our “Hero’s” assembly in 34 minutes. The back of my head feels all warm and funny.

My brother said it was fine that he was walking this morning while I got a ride with Bridget, and started up the hill before I could protest any further. However, when Bridget’s car pulled up in the driveway he was in the backseat, “because Bridget told me to get in.”

So I sat next to him, Matt was on the other side; Kenny and Bridget were in the front and I waved to my neighbor Amy as we drove off.

I had decided to wear my red tank top and thin, gray pants that morning, and now regretted it as I was practically freezing in the car, which had all the windows rolled down. My brother offered his jacket, or at least half of it, and began pulling his arm out of the sleeve.

It was here the car crashed into us.

A split second lunge forward, and then smashing onto the back of the car seat. We all realized what had happened, and Bridget calmly pulled off to the side of the road and got out of the car.

Kenny, Jason, Matt, and I all looked back at the white car, then forward again.

“Are you guys okay?” we all asked in turn. Yes, except for some next, back, and head pain.

“Don’t look back,” my brother said, “it’s Erin Cleveland.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!!”

They talked briefly, and then Bridget got back in a we drove to the editor’s meeting, where Haker scolded us for being late. I’m just glad she didn’t deliver her “You have to make Journalism a priority” speech.

Max and Sara go on a Picnic

Today was a wonderful way to say goodbye to summer.
Max rocks my socks.