Hay baby, Can I have your number?      I like to people watch. It is a big pastime for me. I think because my mother is a psychologist and I grew up surrounded by psychologists. I like to watch people in all sorts of settings. One my favorite is at bars. It is often hilarious watching what people will do to try to "hook up". I actually start to feel sorry for the girls who have to put up with the brunt of this. I have watched ten guys come up to the same pair of girls all night only to be turned away. I have seen a guy mercilessly hit on a girl, who happened to be the bartender, who also happened to have a rather large engagement ring on.      The funniest story of these bar interactions came when I was getting some air outside a bar in Berkeley. I was talking to a pair of very attractive young women who I had met a little bit earlier inside. In truth the conversation was more between myself and one of the two girls, I think her name was Jen. Her friend was just hanging out when a guy comes up to Jen's friend and starts to hit on her. A good way to describe this guy is when Chris Farley did the "motivational speaker" skits on Saturday Night Live. I'll call this guy Matt for now. Matt just barged into our conversation, interjecting hear and there about himself. At some point Jen's friend mentioned that she likes to "lay the rhymes" A.K.A. rap. This set Matt off. He apparently was affiliated with a school for people in the recording industry (I refuse to give them free advertising). Matt started going on and on about the recording business. Matt waxed poetically how he could get Jen's friend in the studio to record "her rhymes." There was no doubt in my mind, as well as Jen and her friends mind, that this guy really wanted to just get her number for a hook-up. Matt went on and on for five minutes asking for her number and making all these promises of things he could do for her. Finally, as a joke Jen's friend said her number was 367 5309 (as in the song, please do not call that number). Jen and myself got the joke instantly. We assumed that the Matt would also. After all, who hadn't heard of that song? Well, apparently Matt hadn't. He said really, whipped out his cell phone and asked Jen's friend to repeat it which she did. He put it in his cell phone and tripled checked it. I have no idea how Jen and myself didn't bust out laughing.      Now one of the worst things a girl can do to a guy is give the wrong phone number out. It is rude and guys go away with the impression that she is a #$)(@. Or they think they have the wrong number and keep trying other numbers. Jen's friend did something very noble. She told the Matt it was a joke. By then Jen and myself were laughing at the joke. Epilog     I had seen they guy at the bar a few times before but never after. On one of those nights, the guy told me that I looked familiar. At the time I had vaguely remembered him as someone at a local Starbucks who one night was informing a group of people about the recording industry so I said no. I think I now know why he looked familiar. I swear he is a guy named Matt who I used to work with at the Stock Exchange in San Francisco. That is why I chose to call him Matt here. Guide Books |  FAQs |  Photos for Sale |  Travel Essays |  Links Contact info: