Jokes

Jokes the continuous text

Send the Winnie-the-Pooh with Pyatachkom on a visit to the Rabbit. nazhralis honey with
zgushchenkoj without bread also have gathered on houses. The Winnie-the-Pooh has got stuck in
To the rabbit hole, in any way cannot get out. Here the Rabbit speaks Pyatachku:
- Pyatachok, you go outside and drag Down, and I shall push him from here.
That drags Pyatachok the Winnie-the-Pooh, and suddenly, having googled asks
Pyatachka:
- Pyatachok, you have a gun?
- There are houses - answers pyatachok.
Winnie орет:-Drag more quickly, he/she is any wrong Rabbit!!!

" On rzelulattam ilsseovadny odongo anligjsokgo unviertiseta, not ieemt zanchneiya, in cooks pryaokde rsapozholeny bkuvy in solve. Galvone, chotby preavya and psloendyaya bkvuy blyi on msete. Osatlyne bkuvy mgout seldovta in ploonm bsepordyake, all tkest chtaitseya without pobrelm. Pichrionj egoto yalvyatesya that we not chiatem kdauzhyu bkuvu on otdlenotsi, and all solvo tslikeom "

The visitor. Hello, the doctor. At me a problem.
The doctor (writes something to case records). Sit down, the smart guy. Tell.
The visitor. At me... pogasshy a sight. The right shoulder also twitches.
The doctor (continuing to write). Valeryanka and two tablets pofigina for the night - and as a hand, as a hand.
The visitor. At the nights to me dreams, that I build underground pyramids in Tuscany. I am am disturbed terribly with safety of frescos and behaviour svyazuyushchego
Solution in contact to subsoil waters.
The doctor (lifts eyes). That you speak. And than reinforce the base? Very much I recommend braided on four kalenye rods, centuries, whether know, obkatannyj reception.
The visitor. The doctor, something goes not so. On a determinant phones of people which did not call to me, all words on signboards and posters to which the sight - single-root clings. My hamster does not talk to me the fourth day, it(he) motionlessly sits in a corner of a cell(cage) and looks at me a sight balroga, tselyashchegosya in Gendalfa a tip of a scourge.
The doctor. What, however, widely-read zverek! You did not try to give it(him) Russian classics?
The visitor. The doctor, I feel and I understand women.
The doctor (dropping glasses(spots) on a table, in a low voice). op-паньки...

It is not enough to be on the ball, it is necessary to manage still there not obosratsya.

Know why at begimota round legs?
What is better to jump on kuvshinkam;)

To you пpотивно to see every day бактеpии on obodke yнитаза? And пpедставьте, WHAT see every day ОHИ?

Condoms ¬«½úÑ®Ô-plus. Their head bends under a corner of 45 degrees that allows them to get into the most remote places.

Magadan. Минyс 20. A strong snow. Пpическа сохpанилась it is ideal! Воpкyта. Минyс 30. A blizzard. Hair are reliably protected! Kolyma. Минyс 50. Snow бypан. Stacking not повpеждена! (In кадpе the typical convict in headdresses, strokes бpитyю nalyso головy):
-Министеpство Justices Russian Федеpации cares of you, and about yours пpическе!

The reliable home appliances do not exist. It is proved by a sledge hammer.

Osvezhitel air "Pea" - from strong spirit of men!

- I in an alternating cast, performance in a week, and there IT(HE)! Spends on hair, and there THEY!

Try(Taste) "Harakiri"! Open for itself a private world! Juicy pulp of a stomach and all acuteness(witticism) of sensations! "Harakiri" - samurajskoe pleasure!

In Vilaribo again the misfortune - is burned with stacks of a hemp. And in Vilabadzho again a holiday - the wind blows in their party(side).

Аllwауs Rеd - reusable linings of red color.

Advertising: Everyone who will buy(purchase) from us mountain skiing, will receive free of charge crutches!

Firm Gillette has let out(has released) new linings. They transform a liquid into a shaving gel.

These diapers absorb up to 30 litres of a moisture! The child always remains dry! Only from a place cannot move.

Vodka "Pervak" declares(announces) the new action(share) under the name: tell to drugs " Dearly(Expensively)! ".

New linings - "Аllwауs-Зимние"! Krylyshki up to knees!!

- Mister bober - why at you such sad kind?
- You understand, at me all a teeth povypadali.
- How - unless you do not clean their paste "Kolgejt"?
- How I can clean zubki, when at me such korotenkie paws?

Company " Not-forfeit " offers all the present(true) citron explosion - five kilo trotyl in a warehouse of oranges!

Go in a more way on work! You not only will save on a toilet paper - to you for it and will pay.

It is possible to drink, smoke, swear matom! - the Russian weeks in McDonald's.

Has killed the gnome - has rescueed(saved) a chocolate!

The match has stood out hot. And beer has quickly terminated. For now I went for new kruzhechkoj - to ours have scored a goal!.. From here a rule: the goalkeeper should not go behind beer!

All women are identical. And if there is no difference, what for to pay more?

All country yже knows about "Kalve". No, not yмеют women to store(keep) the secrets...

- Girls, today I go on fishing - there will be Maks!
- To you it is necessarily necessary " Always Black "!
- Yes?! And I, a silly woman, have dug out worms...

Hаши yченые pазpаботали маpcоход, котоpый отбиpает пpобы гpyнта y амеpиканcкого.

The son prshel to the father also speaks:
- The daddy and who is who in family?
- Well I the president, mum-authority, the grandmother-úá¿, and you..... Well you .... People!
In an hour the son calls to the father for work:
- Mr. prezedent, to authority has come new prizedent, the GAI sleeps, and people worries!

You will buy(purchase) import to the sanitary technician - is not present snosu. You will buy(purchase) ours - is not present to washout.

When the man speaks about the big and light love, it(he) means high pyshnoteluyu the blonde.

Presently sexual revolutions and reforms the saying " Before wedding will begin to live " gets any other sense...

- A the truth, what dogs of the chow-chow eat meat-meat?
- The truth-truth!

Anya and Olya always dreamed to get in Tretyakovskuyu galreyu, but them carried
Only in a sauna.

- And what is your name?
- Rose
- And where you work?
- In bank
- As it is romantic - a rose in bank

The diploma in higher education - a crust which testifies that you had a chance something to learn!

Last words of the physicist-nuclear: " Critical weight - not critical days, business reperable... "

In the USA have condemned the teenager for 2 years for mockery at animals.
It(He) has bought(purchased) a pile of a multi-coloured paper, has planted(put) on it(her) of a chameleon and became
To pull out on a leaf(sheet). The chameleon has had time to change color of 19 times, after
That has become green and has died

You will not help(assist) me?
- And in what a problem?
- At me the text here in format ekselya, and it is necessary - in a format of the Word... How it to make?
- Format different, speak? Then write - fоrmаt, a blank... At you the Word where? On TSe? And
Write - she, a colon and enter press!
- And will help(assist)?
- The strongest means...

The NAME: the Woman
SYMBOL: Fm
The PATHBREAKER: Adam
NUCLEAR WEIGHT: 60 kg; also there are isotopes from 40 up to 250kg.
PREVALENCE: it is very widespread.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES.
Thaws at the certain influence.
Spontaneously begins to boil and without the external reasons it is cooled.
Factor of expansion: increases in the course of time.
mnetsya at squeezing in the certain places.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES.
Very well cooperates with Au, Ag, Pt and other precious metals.
Absorbs expensive substances in lots(plenties).
Can unexpectedly blow up.
It is quickly sated(saturated) with ethyl spirit.
Activity varies depending on time of day.
APPLICATION.
It is widely applied in the decorative purposes, especially in sports cars.
Is very effective cleaning and a washing-up liquid.
Helps(Assists) to relax and remove(relax and take off) stress.
QUALITATIVE REACTION.
Gets green painting if a number(line) is other sample of higher quality.
SAFETY MEASURES.
At hit to not skilled hands represents serious danger.
It is forbidden to have more than one sample. However it is possible to have and a lot of samples, but to hold them follows separately from each other, thus that they did not cooperate among themselves.

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