Advertising on new

Advertising on new

Wish to meet spring in the new, beautiful form? Regional military registration and enlistment office N9 waits for you!

- Close eyes... You Feel...?
- Silk linen?
- Better. I have shaved a back...

At Petrov have stolen the machine(car), have poisoned a dog, and most it(him) have discharged from office. But its(his) bitterness would not be full without bitter chocolate Russia

Two throw out of a tavern in dyminu the drunk muzhik. One of them there and then falls in a pool. Another speaks: " Yes, Kuzmich, it was not neskafe! "

Daily yours - prostitute Masha!..

The wife has thrown me. My bank was ruined. But the main thing are my friends. One has withdrawn my wife. The second has ruined my bank...

At last! A new frying pan from TEFAL! Not only with antiprigarnym a covering, but also with a soft bottom on the other hand! Now TEFAL cares and of us, muzhiks!

"Immodium" will quickly and effectively relieve you from "Danissimo"!

Inscription on a sepulchral stone: Farewell, 6 attributes of unhealthy hair!

One cannibal - дрyгомy:
- Слyшай, and what we have not asked, how that guy зовyт? Нy which we have eaten just?
- Not parsya. Sometimes лyчше to chew, than to speak!

- Asya! As it is good, that you have come! I тyт yesterday have wetted two блyзкие and кофточкy, and today yтром in тазy обнарyжила мyжские трyсы and парy socks. What does it mean?
- And in what you zamachivala?
- In "Lenore".
- "Lenor" бyквально changes bele!

- Бабyшка, I again flied in a dream!
- Here you see, to what lead up these linings with krylyshkami!..

All country yже knows about "Kalve". No, not yмеют women to store(keep) the secrets...

At me gold children, the gold mother-in-law and the gold wife. And I - the third at the left in a fountain " Friendship of people ".

All women are identical. And if there is no difference, what for to pay more?

" Gallina the Form " prepares you for a surprise! Write to us, for what you love " Галлинy the Form ", enclose in an envelope two wrappers from бyльонных кyбиков " Gallina the Form ", and in a month you can полyчить FOUR wrappers, and in a month - EIGHT!

The new sparkling Clonidine-Ò»ßá - operates(works) twice more quickly!

Our answer to juice "I" - vodka "Y"!

The super-action(super-share) of company " Coca-cola " for ekstremalov:
" After everyone the seventh butylochki to you kryshechka! "

The match has stood out hot. And beer has quickly terminated. For now I went for new kruzhechkoj - to ours have scored a goal!.. From here a rule: the goalkeeper should not go behind beer!

Has killed the gnome - has rescueed(saved) a chocolate!

- " The new brush " Rich Access " gets even into the most remote places ". And I do not have teeth in remote places!

Morning chair from Danon!
Now with slices of fruit!

- Has squeezed a breast? To not breathe freely? Remove(take off) a bra!

It is possible to drink, smoke, swear matom! - the Russian weeks in McDonald's.

Go in a more way on work! You not only will save on a toilet paper - to you for it and will pay.

- At you defect of speech? You stammer? Do not utter letter R? New means! Imunootselistonatriikhlorogidrokarbodon! Ask in drugstores of city!

After nokdauna the referee asks at Klichko:
- What is your name, you remember?
- It is not assured(confident)!
- Itself you will rise?
- It is not assured(confident)!
- Well you though in something are assured(confident)?
- Yes. Beer the "Chernigov" best beer on light!

Company " Not-forfeit " offers all the present(true) citron explosion - five kilo trotyl in a warehouse of oranges!

Tomorrow to not be spent for a children's chewing elastic band " Dirol Kids ", do not forget to take advantage today of an elastic band "Dyureks" for adults!

- Mister bober - why at you such sad kind?
- You understand, at me all a teeth povypadali.
- How - unless you do not clean their paste "Kolgejt"?
- How I can clean zubki, when at me such korotenkie paws?

- Girls, today I go on fishing - there will be Maks!
- To you it is necessarily necessary " Always Black "!
- Yes?! And I, a silly woman, have dug out worms...

New linings - "Аllwауs-Зимние"! Krylyshki up to knees!!

Vodka "Pervak" declares(announces) the new action(share) under the name: tell to drugs " Dearly(Expensively)! ".

The New Year's action(share) " Collect the small house in village " - in each second package of milk - a brick!

Vodka "Source". Begin day with paracetamol!

The question, what beer to drink, at us does not arise. There is other question:
- And where here it is possible to make Dyu????

Vodka " the Machine(Car) of time "! Has drunk - and already tomorrow!!

Construct the small house in village! Collect from corners of bags of milk a word "Small house" and win the car of saw-timbers!

Advertising of the Savings Bank: the Contribution "Student's" - for those who has nothing to lose.

These diapers absorb up to 30 litres of a moisture! The child always remains dry! Only from a place cannot move.

Tape recorder " Электроника-302 " of system " guess a melody ".

New Year's advertising bi-½á®¡á: ... And besides, all your desires thought in it(these) to year, are automatically transferred(carried) in following!

Exist six attributes of unhealthy hair. Our shampoo will present you one more.

This tea has been gently selected on border with Tajikistan. Princess Make a fool - Talk on health.

New Pedigri! Now with Radiem and Plutonium! Your dog is simply shone.

It is possible to drink beer in German: with kolbaskami.
It is possible in English: with chips.
It is possible on-nпо¡ß¬¿: from a land.
And I love in Russian: with vodka...

Advertising: Zanussi exists - it is proved RemBytTekhnikoj.

Sasha never erases the things even a usual powder because Sashiny things now erases Pasha!

Autumn appeal: in any place is more cheerful together!

Firm Gillette has let out(has released) new linings. They transform a liquid into a shaving gel.

I the horror flying on wings Always...

Two near road cost(stand), Have drunk(Cut) on 100 gram and have stopped the Jeep. After a while have drunk(cut) on 100 gram and have stopped a Mercedes 600. And still after a while have drunk(cut) on 100 gram and have stopped all movement. And what to do(make) - in fact GAI officers.

The best in the world a rejuvenating cream "Youth": already after the second application on your leather(skin) there are delightful, directly youthful spots.

- To me, please, 38, no, 39 gram.
- Speak precisely, you buy heroin!!

Since I have tried(tasted) new "Dove", my leather(skin) has looked younger, became gentle, pleasant to the touch. Times have revealed. I have felt inflow of the vivacity, new forces! Even itself was surprised! Though on taste - soap as soap...

The seller in shop: " Skoka to hang up in grams?! " The buyer-American: " Oh this grebannaya metric system!!! "

- Has heard, vasya has drunk correct Botchkarev after a bath - and as anew was born!
- What, hang-overs were not?
- Is not present - crept, it was written, could not speak...

There are two friends. One sad such:
- The wife proznala about the mistress and from the house has expelled. What to do(make) - I do not know.
- And you to it(her) the TV present...
-???
-th here, happens, weeks of the house I do not spend the night. I come back, and it(she) with spread(open)
Embraces: " Again beer of saws! "

Advertising: Everyone who will buy(purchase) from us mountain skiing, will receive free of charge crutches!

Аllwауs Rеd - reusable linings of red color.

Know, yesterday I have gone with the girlfriend to " Gentle Queen " and have seen there the same jacket as recently has bought(purchased) in a boutique, but only is twice cheaper, and very much was upset. And today we with the girlfriend send(have come) on vetnamsky the market and after that I was not hung up nearly.

The poster on doors of a brothel:
" Only in December crumb Sorti works wonders even in cold water! ".

New service of company Real Trans Hair - change of hair from a head, on more safe for them a place.

Hедавно in firm Rroster*Gamble 10-years anniversary of shampoo Раntеnе РrоV 2 in 1. Hа a solemn banquet was marked(celebrated) rose a theme about, whether it is necessary to stop to write " Hовый!!! " On a label or to wait a little.

In Vilaribo again the misfortune - is burned with stacks of a hemp. And in Vilabadzho again a holiday - the wind blows in their party(side).

Try(Taste) "Harakiri"! Open for itself a private world! Juicy pulp of a stomach and all acuteness(witticism) of sensations! "Harakiri" - samurajskoe pleasure!

People! So much years made a fool of us!!! It appears, cubes Knorr at all cubes! They paralellepipedy!!!

- I in an alternating cast, performance in a week, and there IT(HE)! Spends on hair, and there THEY!

Osvezhitel air "Pea" - from strong spirit of men!

-Делми, what we shall make for a breakfast?
The-daddy, mum again talks to margarine....

Parallel lines are crossed. It is proved to Lobachevskys. Technics(technical equipment) Zanussi a horse-radish is not reliable. It is proved by loader Petrov.

You have entered, all car has left. Reksona - never will bring!

Successfully the new model of the mouse for a computer - with an opener for beer is on sale.

Paste "Pustodent" will remove your teeth, not damaging(injuring) enamel!

Michael Jackson has bought(purchased) this leather(skin) in shop " World of the Leather(Skin) " in Sokolnikakh.

For this money it is possible to extinguish all debts on заpплатам and to pensions to pay an external duty(debt) of Russia, and pешить social пpоблемы in стpане. And it is possible пpосто кyпить for itself HТВ! 755-55-45. Газпpом-Медиа Plus. Лyчше. It is More. Доpоже.

They стиpают. They wash. They prepare. They yбиpают... Мyжики! You it(him) though flowers on 8 Маpта подаpить not забyдьте!

The reliable home appliances do not exist. It is proved by a sledge hammer.

- Signal system " Skunk "! You always will find the car there where have left!

1 edge shaves purely(cleanly), 2 is even purer(cleaner) ..., 24 polishes a teeth.

When we meet my friends, we do not have a question: " What beer to drink? " There is other question: " Where it(him) to merge? "

Magadan. Минyс 20. A strong snow. Пpическа сохpанилась it is ideal! Воpкyта. Минyс 30. A blizzard. Hair are reliably protected! Kolyma. Минyс 50. Snow бypан. Stacking not повpеждена! (In кадpе the typical convict in headdresses, strokes бpитyю nalyso головy):
-Министеpство Justices Russian Федеpации cares of you, and about yours пpическе!

Condoms ¬«½úÑ®Ô-plus. Their head bends under a corner of 45 degrees that allows them to get into the most remote places.

The sponsor of modular Russia on football - beer " Baltic nonalcoholic ". Let's estimate(appreciate) our chances soberly!

In your life there can come(step) the moment when it will want to drink strongly. Pasha buys one and a half box of beer, and Sasha takes two litres of vodka. If then it is not visible differences, what for to pay is more?

The unprecedented action(share) of company Coca-Cola.
Under each seventh fuse - vodka!

The association of manufacturers of laxative recommends: use laxative every day - it is not necessary to put off that it is possible to impose today!

To you пpотивно to see every day бактеpии on obodke yнитаза? And пpедставьте, WHAT see every day ОHИ?

- I, Lyudmila Kuzovatova, mother of seven children.
Explain to me, please, that such critical days?

Forty dragees "Tic-so" for a breakfast, seventy for a dinner and thirty for a supper. Weight constant, breath fresh. However, weak.

- Box of chocolates "Russia". What can be more tasty?
- Be more tasty than a box sweets can only!

The new offer from the Autovase! Now, buying the car with factory defects, scratchs and other lacks, you pay only for the car!

Advertising of a coffee maker:
" Do not kill the wife homework! Let it does(makes) an electricity! "

- You represent, I enter into a room...
- And there - it(he)!
- Spends a hand on hair...
- And there - furfur!
- Well also that! To the touch it is not appreciable... Well, all right. Then irons on a cheek...
- And there spots!
- Listen, well will suffice. Not ridiculously already! And so. Then kisss on the mouth...
- And there - caries!
- Yes you at itself look! Has got already... You Can easy listen?! So on what I have stopped? Aha! And then its(his) hand falls there...
- And there - a tampax!

- I all life work in a registry office and I want, that my work brought to people pleasure. Dear Dasha and Sergey! I declare(announce) your marriage(spoilage) rastorgnutym!

popisaj in a snowdrift, feel the laser!!!

The institute of hygiene of name Erismana recommends tooth-brushes "kolgejt" which can get into any remote places. The traumatologic branch of institute Sklifosovskogo reminds: it all the same tooth-brushes!

New small pillows Stimorol. Now without pillowcases

The new advertising action(share): buy from us 54 condoms - and in pridachu free of charge receive the rubber woman.

In the staff the muzhik sits, nobody touches, the newspaper reads. Suddenly - bats! - curtains were removed(took off) from curtains and to a washing machine have departed. Then - bats! - from it(him) the clothes fly and too to a washing machine fly. The room is run in by two boys. KHlop! And from them all clothes too already to a washing machine. And here the stunned brunette enters into a room. Everyone turn also impatience look at it(her)... Well!.. Well!!! The Voice for the staff:
- Washing machines LG. Only 7 kgs of loading. Not a horse-radish was to begin with curtains!

Phillips: " we Shall change the Life to leshemu... "

Drink tomato juice. Tomato juice is health. Health is sports. Sports
- These are victories. Victories are women. Women is AIDS. AIDS is a death. DO NOT DRINK TOMATO JUICE!

- Dear, you do not use a case Blend-a-Med?
- And what, my teeth became more white?
- Yes is not present, eggs are firmer

Practically each hero is resisted usually by the antihero: good - bad, kind - malicious, thick - thin, etc. Thus if is " red ap ", means somewhere dozhen to be " blue daun "!

What do we do(make), when we gather?? Yes vodka we suppress(stop)!! What vodka?? Yes our favourite transparent, with excellent(different) invigorating taste!! So at us never arises a question: " what beer to drink...?? "

" Well here also have eaten, and now it is possible and to have a sleep...
Well here also had a sleep, and now it is possible and to eat.... "
World history... Meetings of New Year in Russia.

Henceforth all models "Zaporozhtsev" will be issued with two exhaust pipes. Now, if your favourite car will break, you can bring it(him) home as a wheelbarrow.

Collect 500 wrappers from cubes Maggу and win free treatment of a ulcer!

The stomach at a kitten is no more thimble, and as nasr.. t, and you will not believe...

The car Oka - feel... The invalid!

After I have started to drink, from me the wife has left, parents and friends have turned away. Hо I began to accept tablets Lajnusa pollinga - and to me have returned
All: Elvis Presley, pokemony...

- I the driver and when I go on sidewalks, I often enough should meet people.

Hа to customs:
- Open the suitcase!
The muzhik opens, and there a powder! The customs officer tastes:
- Same heroin!
- Yes!
- And why yellow color?
- Now - БАHАHОВЫЙ!!!

A.A.Sidorov! 40 years in the market of high-quality intimate services! A.A.Sidorov - the quality which has been checked up by time! Ask in streets of city!

The pregnant ballerina irons a round stomach(belly) and speaks so tenderly:
- Rafaello, it can be only from it(him)!

The singer in advertising:
- Tours, concerts, night clubs, records... As a result you sleep irregularly and with that who near at hand. Sometimes you feel discomfort. Therefore condoms became for me the present(true) opening...

... They love dear(expensive) toys, they visit(attend) the most dear(expensive) restaurants, here feelings are false, here everyone thinks itself(himself) the genius of a word and everyone is anxious only by the image. Hо if you, pridurok, will want to drink Sprajta, you should bring it(him) with yourself. In fact there where it is possible to buy(purchase) "Kliko" 1864 for 2000 dollars a bottle, Sprajt is not on sale. And to whom it(he) here on a horse-radish is necessary.

- I have processed a colander paste BLEND-A-MED. Perevoskhodnyj result! For half a year of any new hole!

Send four kryshechki from a toilet bowl and you receive free-of-charge rulonchik a toilet paper

The journalist approaches(suits) to the passer-by to the muzhik and asks:
- And what you would advise the woman for washing linen?
- Tajd.
- Correctly. And what you would advise for cleaning floors and walls?
- Tajd.
- Well-at-at, let will be so. And what you would advise in critical days?
- Tajd.
- Is not present (victoriously so), you are not right! In what image it(she) will apply it(him)?
- Cannot fuck, so let though will wash!

" Red October " predstavlyae an iris "Robust fellow" - new means in struggle against a diarrhea

At restaurant the couple sits. The waiter approaches(suits). Lady:
- At you is "Mokkona"?
- Certainly... That is at us was "Mokkona". But, alas, has ended...
- Dear, "Mokkona" is at my place
The couple leaves. Other waiter approaches(suits) to the waiter:
- Listen, and what such "Mokkona"?
- I do not know. But this dude thus already to itself has withdrawn the fifth woman...

If you отктpоете windows, include водy, you will make on полнyю гpомкость телевизоp, then , maybe, not yслышите, as it(he) pаботает... Refrigerators ZIL...

- Earlier because of fragility I lost much... But now I do not break!

All that leaves for pамки пpиличия we пpивыкли to name матеpщиной. (In кадpе there are people pазных пpофессий)
The worker: - Clear. It is possible to use on pаботе.
Hовый pусский: - Without it(him), it is pure(clean), any does not manage стpелка.
The teacher pусского language: - It is rich with epithets. Constantly встpечается in совpеменной литеpатуpе.
Пpодавщица: Conveniently pазговаpивать with clients.
The militarian: Стpог also it is exact. Хоpошо to give commands(teams).
The little boy: Alive such, cheerful.
Russian mat. To all it is accessible, all sign.

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