The woman at the wheel:))

THE BOOK OF SEXUAL REVELATIONS

(Alexey Vinogradov, the journalist, conducted ten years a marriage heading in the newspaper)

*... To be fair a little, it is necessary to combine.

*... How, it is asked, to distinguish the decent man from the scoundrel, when at them at all on mind one and too?

*... To have sex with the guy-virgin boringly and it is uninteresting. As if to the beggar alms you submit or to the foreigner road you show.

*... The man in marriage tries less.

*... In the letter I have listed it all secondary sexual signs: the car, apartment,

Decent, financially secure.

*... In our village of AIDS never will be, I have left, and there is nobody more.

*... The kiss at full not resistance of the parties is called zasosom.

*... We have decided to make love as in a film of "9,5 weeks". I have undressed, and it has spread me with a strawberry and began to pinch pulp from my naked body. All was is blissful good. In the evening it has taken a diarrhoeia from dirty berries.

*... I have compared the American grant on sex for a newly-married couple to the Soviet agricultural management on cultivation of rabbits. Same, but at rabbits less than love poses - at them pads not to bend.

*... Popular wisdom: to find the decent woman very simply, but to get rid of it hardly.

*... The bride on wedding was more terrible than snack.

*... A national sign: if has come in the first to o'clock in the morning home drunk with the mistress, and the wife and the mother-in-law pretend, that has occurred nothing, means, the meal is poisoned, the axe is ground - to sleep it is impossible, and that will cut.

*... I in group sex for another's back did not hide.

*... I live for a long time behind line of harm.

*... In each man there lives the own prince on a white game, but it such small, that easily would be located in ordinary match to a box.

*... And like have a little drunk, and in group sex were engaged.

*... To have sex with the coeval as it is opposite how to descend to the gynecologist. Show them that, show them it. Any romanticism - one curiosity (the student, 19 years).

*... The man always the decent: from the decent blockhead to decent cattle.

*... I do not understand sex yet, well boys at me were also men were. Only six. But in sex they new have not learnt me to anything. That I accepted at an entrance my first boy when we were in the ninth class, and all. Anything new. Boringly. Can already leave in marriage (the girl, 19 years).

*... Home life shares for two periods: before she the first time named the husband a goat and after that.

*... In 25 years to marry the prince already late and for whom has got still early.

*... All night long dreamt, that I on Saturday till a dinner will sleep with Phillip Kirkorov. Has come true, dug a potato and had time to clean to a rain (the woman, 42 years).

*... My former husband-sadist has casually learnt, that when it works in the second change, I lead to us home the lover and I have sex everywhere, even sitting on a wide window sill. It, an infection, has hammered into this window sill long carnations an edge upwards. I on it villages (the woman, 31 year).

*. I often observed in a life, that the bull likes not all cows, but it covers all cows without analysis (selchanka, 54 years).

*... In woman's happiness that the main thing - that misfortunes were not. There was at me a novel with one decent man. Somehow time after good sex I was buried by the person in its hairy breast and have noticed there voshku. To me, the silly woman to keep silent, and I to catch have rushed (the woman, 32 years).

*... I have opened eyes and have casually noticed, that this cadet is engaged with me in sex, not removing trousers. Here a reptile, I have thought (the girl, 23 years).

*... I have blinked and have understood: farewell, a youth! (The girl, 16 years).

*... How to check up, whether it is put on on the guy prezik? It occurs so quickly and in darkness ' or blindly (the girl, the age is not specified).

*... I have got acquainted with the guy, but we have soon left, because I wanted much (the girl, 14 years).

*... To search for the future husband in discos as it is difficult, as on the big and skipping fleas muzzles to dress.

*... A love story: called, waited, has not come, has drunk, has had a snack, has pulled out, has laid down, has fallen asleep, has overslept, has jumped, has drunk up, has called, has insulted, have sent, has gone.

*... The woman has approached to me on appointment with deep traces of former beauty.

*... The dog in Russia - is more ' than a dog!

*... Beautiful men differ from ugly only muzzles.

*... In group sex the main thing not to forget, that you the boy.

*... In sex I always hope for the best, but a condom I do not leave.

*... In the country of fur-trees each little girl dreams... Under a palm tree.

*... In each fatty sits small Djujmovochka, and let to itself sits.

*... Military cadets call all fair girls "mermaids" because with them it is impossible to have sex because of an inconvenient tail.

*... I recollect, that to me was then fifteen, and to it sixteen years when we began to put on a condom that at it has had time to grow.

*... You with whom yesterday prezervatirovali?

*... Yes, I dream of the prince on a white game, but also one horse without the prince is not necessary to me.

*... Long New Year's holidays are given the Russian person that it could spend on drink and proest everything, that has saved up for the whole year.

*... Till 30 years the woman is driven away from itself all goats, and after thirty tries to beckon the remained.

*... For 20 days of rest in Sochi to me 34 times were good.

*... Who had not sex with the woman in a cabin of a moving tractor, that never will understand, that such the vibrator. This Russian invention which at us was stolen by Japanese.

*... Laid down with Svetoj, has woken up with Tanej. Means, it was not slept.

*... All age are obedient to love, the is more senior, the is more obedient.

*... Claude Van has dreamt me I Will give, and I thought, that I already old for such dreams.

*... The man always the decent: from the decent blockhead to decent cattle.

*... With AIDS it is necessary to struggle together, instead of three together.

*... On wedding the general fight has flashed, but someone has loudly cried, that the groom on weddings do not beat. As it was found out later, the groom shouted.

*... To spite of itself remained decent.

*... I do not love virgins who even in bed with the beloved lay down with gas ballonchikom.

*... Has not come, has not seen, has not won, at all has not called.

*... The bride was on the twentieth month of pregnancy.

*... He has drunk the second glass of vodka and has at one stroke erased a side between a city and village, having got from the rubber boots a pack of shabby condoms.

*... It has died for half an hour to orgazma.

*... The autumn is a spring for idiots.

*... To distinguish the girl from "nedevushki" it is possible only once.

*... Drank for love, it is visible much, in the morning she has not learnt me.

*... On the TV have shown such love, that I then a floor of night was scratched.

*... At the present woman two problems: how to find the husband or how to leave from the husband.

*... Hurrah ' I have changed to the husband! Now at us a drawn game - 1:1.

*... Than more long feet at the woman, than are more often torn its stockings.

*... Read, that on a horoscope goats (Capricorns) the most decent, here and trust after that.

*... That in love the most important thing: that wolves are full also sheep married.

*... This phrase was brought from a children's garden by the five years' little son of our reader: "the love is a friendship of two pipisok".

*... I before wedding never saw pipiski the husband, and in vain, whether I still would think it is necessary to me to marry this fishing hook.

*... I do not trust in love from the first cup of coffee.

*... I with it had sex the whole year with sense, that is without a condom. But it could not have the child.

*... Decent men love dishonourable women, and decent women love dishonourable men. And it is in another way uninteresting.

*... The decent man never will offend the fair woman by the attention, and will find for this purpose more suitable.

*... Has come to one woman. It and on beer has not given in the morning to me.

*... I from army home have come. I look, one me has not waited, the second has not waited, and to third I and itself has not gone.

*... Has come, as decent, and has left, as all.

*... To spend on drink it is impossible, to fasten. To spend on drink, it is impossible to fasten.

*... With lovely and paradise in a tent: have frozen, have caught a cold, were ill, have died - and in paradise.

*... From the point of view of the girl: there are such men who would like to give all and at once. And is such, that it would be desirable all zazhilit.

*... I began to communicate with men and have noticed, that people in general now any closed, on myself concentrated, malicious and dissatisfied. As though live last week.

*... The Tambov wolf to you the lover!

*... The mother-in-law has got specially trained cat who found in apartment even the sealed bottle of vodka.

*... Thick women can be loved only on a desert island where there is no other food.

*... At us in village if the guy spends night with the girl it it is normal, and if second time comes is a love.

*... I do not love guys who name a female breast siskami.

*... I do not trust these romanticists, they even light candles that they were easier for extinguishing (the girl, 29 years).

*... Has got acquainted under the announcement with the sponsor. In the beginning all was good. It has shown me hundred dollars and remained to spend the night. Has given dollars in the morning, but they have been made on the copier. And I all night long for such money squealed! (The woman, the age is not specified).

*... To distinguish the decent man from it is dishonourably possible on eggs. Decent men wash them, and dishonourable - scratch (the woman, 38 years).

*... zastukala the younger ten years' brother with its schoolmate. They on a stop watch for a while dressed and removed condoms on kitchen skalku (the girl, 25 years).

*... Sometimes so it will want in marriage, that it seems - for the yard keeper would leave.

*... I am am revolted with announcements from suckers ' searching well-founded women of advanced age. Yes be at me money, I to myself would buy such experienced dog, but it is better a fur coat (the woman ' than 30 years).

*... I have overslept somehow by nonsense with one "new Russian". In its apartment of that only was not. And has finished me its toilet: first time in a life saw a toilet bowl with the muffler (the woman, 35 years).

*... It has sent me in the letter a photo of the beautiful brother, and on appointment has come itself (the girl, 16 years).

*... My husband long disagreed on the child. I took thin igolochku and is direct through packing have pierced some condoms. Now at us wonderful boy Serezha (the woman, 29 years).

*... What the most difficult when you have sex in a hammock? Correctly, the most difficult, it to undress.

*... My adventure was for a long time. I also do not remember, that there was, and that was not (the woman, 61 year).

*... At us in village very anxious bull goes the main thing in herd. All right it would stick to cows, and it and to milkmaids already does not give to pass. And women on village muzhiks now not izbalovanny, and in all our village only this bull does not drink vodka. I do not know, how it on scientific will be called, but to me, apparently, that this bull of the will achieve (the woman, 44 years).

*... I work for a long time in a commercial stall and I observe, how men buy condoms. If buys a pack of condoms and a chocolate - goes to the mistress if a pack of condoms and a cigarette - goes to the wife if buys only condoms - does not go anywhere, simply hopes for the best (the woman, 34 years).

*... Wrote from army to four little girls, but any me has not waited (the guy, 21 year).

*... My guy wished to oversleep with me. It liked me not so, and other guy at me was not. I have decided to prevent to oversleep to it with me and have splashed to it hot coffee on one place, but it it not so stirs (the girl, 18 years).

*... Men are not able to look after, and all time call in bed. I cannot then: it is necessary to learn all about each other and to say words of treasured love (the woman ' 63 years).

*... On my personal observations, blondes in bed gently sigh, brunettes groan, and brown-haired women are silent as fish and only stare on the fisherman of an eye (the man, 29 years).

*... I have got acquainted through the newspaper with the girl-kranovshchitsej. It it is exact from the crane has fallen. Steams of words how already about a marriage has started conversation (the man ' 34 years) had not time to tell.

*... I already was on six appointments, but to anybody yet was not gave (the guy, 15 years).

*... Has learnt, that my best friend sometimes sleeps with my wife. We with it took two "banks" for man's conversation and have agreed, that it to me allows the power of attorney to go for a drive on its "Zhigulis", and I do not prevent to walk to it with my wife (the man, 41 year).

*... Always was the fair wife, without any adventures. And after divorce the former husband has offered me good material support if I become its mistress. I have thought and have agreed: as the man it very much even is quite good. But has soon understood, that it is all not for me. Has refused a role soderzhanki (the woman, 34 years).

*... Loonies has divorced everywhere. At our entrance there lives the such. It goes for women, lifts up skirts and lets out a birdie. It too showed a birdie to me. Who lets out such loonies from hospital? After all it, heard, cats eats and sleeps with the rubber woman from shop. He even has divorced once from it. Has become angry about it and has exposed the rubber woman in an entrance, has taken away only an hour later (the girl, 19 years).

*... As the doctor-traumatologist, I do not recommend to men to be engaged in oral sex with women with poorly counterbalanced mentality. Whether a little that happens. As happens. I not the surgeon, but see at once, that else it is possible to sew, and that it is already possible to throw out (the man, 40 years).

*... As the doctor the traumatologist, I do not find anything ridiculous in blue analnom sex. Vaseline, of course, helps to facilitate sufferings of the victim, but microtraumas at such love are inevitable, and they, excuse for medical naturalism, arise in strongly dirtied department of a human body - and when the infection gets on the injured places, there can be heavy inflammatory diseases. After all there, forgive for frankness, with iodine or zelenkoj it is simple so you will not climb.

*... Stockings "Levant" have not sustained my meeting with the thirty-year man which most of all appreciated a soul in the woman.

*... It even from Sochi has returned the virgin.

*... I recollect, that to me was then fifteen, and to it sixteen years when we began to put on a condom that at it have had time to grow (the woman, 29 years).

*... As I can describe the love affair: there it was dark, and I have made out nothing (the girl, 18 years).

*... I have casually peeped, how my former guy secretly spat in the used condom then to brag to me of great volume spermatozoidov. To it of only 19 years, and it already operates as the rascal.

*... Looked with little girls a pornographic film and discussed all episodes. Basically, anything new. Only they shout more loudly us (the girl, 19 years).

*... I loved one guy, and it as the reptile, has touched me (the girl, 14 years).

*... The sponsor, I and so well I go to school (the girl, 12 years) is not necessary to me.

*... Romantic evenings at me yet was not ' here therefore I wish to get acquainted with the young man who has money (the girl ' 18 years).

*... You know, than romantic evening comes to an end at candles: already at daybreak two not slept little bodies at last merge in short, convulsive sexual intercourse (the girl, 20 years).

*... zasosy now put only in deaf villages.

*... To cross a cat to a rabbit, it is easy. Two pairs thick mittens and there is some patience. At you it will turn out. At us it has turned out, and that you will not make with boredom (the student, 23 and 23 years).

*... On wedding at bad restaurant the groom ate nothing, it is visible wished to live.

... I the machinist of a diesel locomotive and have noticed for a long time, that on rails a lot of dust from toilets of carriages rolls. That is interesting, the go from Vologda on the North further, the it is less on cross ties comes across the used female linings. It and is clear, on the North not everyone will go.

*... Every summer to us in village there come city little girls and bring a gonorrhoea, and we are treated for it all the winter long (the guy, 26 years).

*... I earned additionally the electrician in a madhouse and saw, how loonies by turns approached to the screen of the TV and forced popular TV presenters to be engaged with them oral sex.

*... To be on friendly terms with girls I be not able. They put on and behave as adults, and kiss, as maljavki (the guy, 15 years).

*... Three teenagers have borrowed for a while at one djadki the rubber woman whom have three together grown fond all heat of not dissipated love. Unfortunately, one of teenagers was ill with a gonorrhoea. It has infected with illness the rubber partner, and it has unscrupulously infected all the others.

*... I do not love women who words do not declare the orgazmah.

*... The pancake, would be desirable to be with the girl cultural, and hands suffice it for titki (the guy, 20 years).

*... We have already laid down, but it has not sustained and has asked to show me to it my passport. I have switched on light, descended behind it to buffet. It has seized crusts, prolistala to 9th page about the marital status, has seen a blank page and has presented to me night of passionate love. It is a pity, that only one. I have palmed off on it the passport of my brother.

*... I work as the mechanic at female factory. The whole change you rub in female collective, and the happiness is not present - one erektsija.

*... To me on appointment the woman with a head of a crocodile and soul of an angel has come. Eyes blue, a teeth yellow, lips dark blue. I have drunk two glasses of vodka. Slept nearby. Here so they breed (the man, 37 years).

*... I have learnt recently, that my seventy-year grandfather still has sex with my grandmother. Sex, however, it you will not name, but fuss was heard the loud: as if the Winnie-the-Pooh persuades Pjatachka behind a ball to descend. Not clearly, what for the condom was necessary to them? Perhaps in a teeth to hold, that sets of false teeth not brjakali? (The man, 32 years).

*... Two years ago I have by mistake given to the mother-in-law not that videocassette. Instead of a comedy film has allowed to it to look our cartridge on which we with the wife have sex. Next day the mother-in-law has returned us the cartridge with words: "it is strange, that after all it at you is not present till now children" (the man, 29 years).

*... When you have sex with the student of teacher's college as if the live teacher you torment (the guy, 22 years).

*... How to persuade the girl truly to wait for you from army? Very simply. My friend, for example, leaving in soldiers, promised to burn its apartment in case of change and to interrupt from the automatic machine all her family. She wrote it letters to army every day (the guy, 20 years).

*... Present men became the present impotent men. You will go it on a meeting, you will agree on love affinity, and at them oblom for oblomom. And all say, that to this case they had all with this business in an order, and here that I not so have moved, not that word have told, the dog in the street has unexpectedly begun a bark (the woman, 50 years).

*... I do not have complexes, but I consider, that at romantic love between the man and the woman there is only one pose - face to face. And any another because it cannot come off her eyes and it for it is more important, than to see growing white in darkness to the priest (the girl, 20 years).

*... One little girl would not stay all the evening long at me in a lap and has not stayed my man's device. Than we it only not ottirali, spirit tried, mustard, an acetic essence and even gasoline, all the same, as a rag dangled, white as the small dead man not that about love, in a toilet there is nobody was to descend. But compresses with hot water we it by the morning all the same otmochili (the guy, 28 years).

*... Never I will forget the first love thanks to which I in 16 years have learnt where there is a kozhno-venereologic clinic (the guy, 18 years).

*... On own wedding I did not participate. It was cut down. Also I do not remember, as as (the guy, 22 years).

*... When in announcements write "with serious intentions" is means for marriage?, or serious intentions is a sex, without a smile ' somehow especially seriously having compressed a teeth and, naming the partner in a surname, and at orgazme it is necessary to thank: "Thanks ' that you have made it with serious intentions" (the man ' 31 year).

*... All night long searched on the thrown village though for one condom. Trust, have found. But local residents heard about them. One guy, probably, even saw just once, but at it too it was not. Melancholy. Such girl has broken off! (The guy, 20 years).

*... Has come with the big bouquet of roses and was silent all the evening long. And I then one have cried all night long. Yes unless it is a dog, simply big dog (the woman, 30 years).

*... Again neighbours all night long drank for love, and they were separated by militia.

*... I had a strange lover who after every night our love asked from me for memory my shorts. I have then learnt its secret: it erased these beautiful shorts and gave to the wife for holidays. After that I began to lay down with it in bed in pantalonchikah, and he has ceased to ask them from me (the woman, 32 years).

*... When at a physical culture lesson through a sports goat guys jump, the teacher of physical culture does not look at them at all. And when girls jump, it costs at a shell and everyone insures under popku. At me this place pleases an eye, and it insures me with pleasure. My guy was jealous me once: "And whose the dark blue hand remained with you on a bum?" (The girl, the age is not specified).

*... This oral sex was considered presently as dirty debauchery. Certainly, about it knew, and some even applied. Today such sex became norm. It speaks weakness of women: earlier they had enough forces to entice and keep the man natural sexual relations, and now, excuse for exact comparison, women have seized the man literally teeth (the woman, 62 years).

*... I have understood, that to me not to realise the house all my sexual imaginations because I live in deaf village. Local little girls cannot understand, that it is necessary to me. Sex with two women in village will not turn out: they poubivajut each other. Is at us and one gay person, but he hides from all. I only have had time to try in village sex of two men with one woman who was more senior us for thirty years. But it was strongly drunk, and recently has died of an old age (the guy, the age is not specified).

*... In our settlement there is one woman who treats a man's impotence fresh cow flat cakes. Will cover man's bodies with fresh dung, and forces to dry before crust occurrence. To my friend has helped from the first, but the second month stinks from it. Erektsija at the muzhik has appeared, but its women to themselves do not suppose, very much as a cow smells (the man, 39 years).

*... In love plots I do not trust, but I know one privorot. Operates on husbands who look on the left. It is necessary for Eugene sostrich a bunch of hair from the intimate place, small to crush (almost in a dust) and to mix to the husband with tea. As soon as he will drink, at it on anybody, except the wife, will not rise. Operates about one year. Checked (the woman, 34 years).

*... My former guy so forced me to marry it. It, whether see, has made at itself on a back place a tattoo - has written my name and a declaration of love. And now, convinced, it has no place to disappear. I did not trust it, but it has lowered from itself(himself) trousers and has shown. On the priest was not only my name, but also a surname. But I for it in marriage have not gone. There have passed many years, and I without tears cannot recollect the surname on another's the priest.

*... I have got acquainted with the wild virgin. It has gone to me on appointment and still houses were put on by a condom. We met for the first time, and I have suggested it to take a walk on a city. There was a frost in 20 degrees. It suffered as the fool, and then as the fool admitted to me, that it should remove prezik. Have come into an entrance. It has gone above, I began to watch below. Has passed minutes 20. I have got tired to wait and one have left on a tram stop. That was further, I do not know (the girl, 18 years).

*... I have lived with the first husband only one year. And at divorce it has exposed to me the account on everything, for what he pays. For four chocolates, for two bunches of flowers, for the ticket for a concert, for slippers on "8 Martha" - all our joint life he wrote down the expenses on me. I in the beginning otrevelas, and have then made the full list, how many time I with it slept, and have exposed to it the account on 100 roubles for every night love. It I defrayed all expenses on and, in general, it still should me remained (the woman, 29 years).

*... We with the friend have fallen in love with one little girl, but did not begin to spoil our friendship and have decided to play the girl in cards. Who will win, that and with it will walk. Began to play, in the beginning he has lost me 9 girls, and has then recouped and has won against me 14 girls. But one already is, well which we and divided. Still it is necessary to find to me for it the others 13 girls, instead of me the friend for a debt "on the counter" will put that (the guy, 17 years).

*... I have guessed recently, why girls to be afraid to go on the lift with unfamiliar men. Because in our lifts it is possible to get stuck hour on three. And to go to the girl to a toilet at the unfamiliar man in a small chink of the lift not too conveniently. Here I, for example, in such situation have delicately turned away, but other guy on we would wash a place would look in all eyes (the guy, 17 years).

*... My girlfriend has told to me love affair. The adventure at me is not present. The girlfriend went for the summer to the grandmother and with boredom learnt local children minetu. She was afraid to become pregnant and walked only so. In village hearings have gone, and the grandmother ordered to go to it home. The girlfriend says, that to the bus four guys and they have come to see off her, guys, were tore apart because of it directly on road. Here so in a fantastic way she has had a rest (the student, 20 years).

*... I wish to tell, how married women in 60-years changed to the husbands: necessarily blindly and with conscience torments. You run from forbidden appointment - feet you do not feel for fear. At home you will be hammered in a bathroom and every minute appointments hundred times you will recollect and you will mentally go through. To the husband, happened, all just once you will change with the lover, and in a bathroom you will change one thousand times. And now, as walk: trah-bah, a skirt has corrected and there and then about all has forgotten (the woman, the age is not specified).

*... Under your newspaper we with the girlfriend have found the beautiful guy and began to divide it - such it was good, but half-and-half it has not turned out. All guy has got to my girlfriend (girls, 16 and 16 years).

*... My mum suits for me and my friends a New Year's table, and itself leaves to celebrate to the girlfriend. And except fur-tree toys she wishes to hang up some condoms on a fur-tree. Modern mum and asks in advance me: how many it is necessary to hang up on fifteen persons? I named figure 100. She in the answer has demanded, that I on a visit did not have addicts (the student, 20 years).

*... I have casually peeped, how my brother - to it 14 - studied to kiss on my old plush dog. It passionately clasped it hands, felt it under paws and, kissing, strongly lowed. I have fallen from laughter to a floor, the brother was frightened, and has thrown in me a dog. I to it have told, that it over this dog oriental combat sports passed two years ago, beat her both hands, and feet, and now "mychitelno" it kisses. It on me became hysterical week, and has then asked to learn to kiss it. I have flatly refused, because at us so one student learnt the 17-year-old brother. So have studied up, that... (The girl, 22 years).

*... For years of love practice cadets of military institute have established what to prevail upon the girl to a bed it is possible for different time. On the average, the student of a technical college agrees in 30 days, the student of teacher's college - 7, the student of medical school - 15, from other schools - 3-4 days, the working little girl - 10, the serving girl - 60, kabachnaja the girl-friend - 1-2 days, diskotechnaja the little girl - 1 (guys, 19, 20, 20 and 20 years).

*... My wife has spoilt a dog. It has learnt it to watch TV, and now it barks, when show transfer about animals or erotic films for adults. To appease it it is impossible, if you switch off a video player, it all the same barks, that you have again included to it favourite pornushku (the man, 40 years).

*... My husband persuaded me many years to present to it on its birthday my official permission to spend night with any woman. So it is simple, for interest. This year I have resolved. It has advertised in the newspaper and began to go on appointments to women - to choose to itself a gift. But he so long chose, that I have become angry and have asked for myself the same gift (the woman, 34 years).

*... In my opinion ' all today so have gone in cycles on "videopornuhe" ' that drag these knowledge of bed. I do not consider myself cynical but when at me the next lover is got, I try to understand, on what pornocartridge today I will have a sex. If it is a lot of sljunej - German manufacture. If with enslavement elements - "made in JUSA" (the woman ' 34 years).

*... Already, being married, I have fallen in love to madness. In a city there was a film with Raphael's participation. My God, as I have fallen in love! I have seen all sessions, thought of it day and night, have lost appetite and have grown thin for 4 kg. The husband has, of course, tried to understand me correctly and has carried all it to time hobby (woman-pensioner).

*... Not each maiden love will pass test by a smell kursantskih socks and portjanok. I from a family of military men, knew, on what I go, when invited the cadet to myself. But fleas, excuse, I was not ready to it. My father from lieutenants to the colonel has served and never fleas home carried (the girl, 21 year).

*... Homosexuals occur from wrong germination pipiski. Has crookedly gone - it avoids women (the woman, 56 years).

*... It is easier to woman to distinguish the bad muzhik from the good in the winter. Here when on a frost the decent muzhik tone asks to itself home freezes, and freezes slightly bad - to you arises.

*... To me the little girl has presented to army the shorts in blood that I remembered how has deprived of its virginity. But, has served year, I have learnt from the letter of the friend, that she has presented same "gifts" to two more boys from our village. These virgins now and for nothing it is not necessary to me (the guy, 21 year).

*... Once I have got acquainted with the strange little girl - the student of teacher's college. During employment by sex ' she started to read by heart lermontovskoe "Borodino" - loudly and with expression, and finished only on final lines of this poem (the guy ' 27 years).

*... I with one little girl have decided to set up a record on kisses. We kissed hours six zasosnymi kisses. It has counted 184 kisses, I have counted 181 (the guy ' 17 years).

*... Somehow very much early in the morning I hear behind a wall a tender voice of our neigbour: "well rise, please, well small". I have thought: where it in such wound the child lifts, and has told about it to the wife. And my sleepy spouse as brjaknet: "yes there are at them no children, and never will be. Whether you hear that, again at it does not rise, and small" (the man, 33 years).

*... Under the announcement has met the girl. She has suggested to talk in a bar. I have ordered under its request of any miscellaneous on many roubles. Have sat down for a little table. It has taken a bite of all entertainments and speaks: "Understand, you do not approach me on growth, on a hair colour. I search for the guy by name of Stanislav or Jury". I with surprise looked at the girl to whom I was not necessary from the very beginning our meeting, but it has all the same elicited at me a food for the sum of my day earnings. I took everything, that was on a table, dry, viscous both liquid, and all has thrown out it to it on knees (the guy, 26 years).

*... The little girl I was such silly woman, that before the wedding trained to have sex on the big ivy bear. I was the virgin, and under the book passed with this bear different erotic poses. It touched my breast the big woollen paws. I as a goat jumped on it, gently nestled with a side, it was arranged on me in an armchair and on a table. As strong I embraced its young feet. And when has married, on me from above as the live bear has pulled hard the lawful husband and so monotonously flopped on me seven years of our matrimonial life therefore I have divorced from it (the woman, 30 years).

*... I remember, after final evening all children were so drank too much, that began to measure at whom more long. It has appeared, that the smallest - at honours pupils (the guy, 27 years)

*... I have thought up wonderful game. All is simple: you go along the street and you look at girls and women, estimating to which you from them would give all salary for one night of love. Usually on hundred counter women at week-day comes across no more than 3-4 worthy women for which and the salary to give it is not a pity, if superfluous was. On Sunday from hundred counter ladies and to ten to choose it is possible. And in the spring in general every third the eye pleases. And we live. In the evening the neighbour home comes and from a threshold shouts to me: "I today on road from work of three brunettes, and one blonde eyes trahnul. And at you today how many? Give after bank on a breast we will accept, that erektsija has settled!

*... Ten years had sex three together. I, the wife and the mother-in-law in the next room. Silently, on the guerrilla. Likely, also have divorced because of it (the man, 34 years).

*... To me for sixty years, and I search for the woman is not more younger 55 years that slept silently, and did not turn. But me there are one anxious grandmas. To them only speak about love and kiss. It is hard to kiss the elderly woman if at you the set of false teeth presses in a mouth, and trousers already presses nothing (the man, 63 years).

*... For some reason in the newspaper have not printed my announcement, that I offer sex three together - I, the woman and a dog. It contradicts their belief or they were frightened for a dog?.

I read in the newspaper, that such sex is useful in sense of the prirodnosti. After all the dog for a long time the friend to the person, and after all it can be and is even closer (the guy, 24 years).

*... I have got acquainted under the announcement with the wonderful woman and when we make love, it so lovely bends each time on one finger if at it at this time happens orgazm. She so loves me, that it does not have not enough fingers on hands (the man, 32 years).

*... What for the lesbian the main thing? That a teeth did not stir (the man, 30 years).

*... To me in village there was here what love affair. With me the girl was engaged in oral sex in the river. I stood on a belt in water, and it did all under water, as a piranha (the guy, 19 years).

*... You sometime tried trousers to put on through a head? And I tried: hardly we with it have undressed, as her husband - small has come, shchuplenky, disheveled, on the husband is not similar, in me tapkoj has rushed, and the fingers bent, that at it all under the control. I have run in the street, thought, it to me on wheels has pierced tyre covers, but, thank God, all has managed (the man, 38 years).

*... I work as the sanitary technician, and to me often offer women not money, and it is more. For my work they give in a female way. It is necessary to take for work not only linings on cranes, but also for itself linings (preziki) (the man, 30 years).

*... On appointment under the announcement the high girl with a long concave back and small popkoj, from what eternally jam in night pots has come.

*... We have got acquainted in a recreation centre with guys, have come to them home ' drank beer from banok and wine. They "were cut down" completely. We bothered them, but they slept. Then we have taken off from them trousers and cowards ' "sfotkali" poljaroidom: the front view with the person and the rear view without the person. Have left, having pasted photos at an entrance. In a fantastic way children have turned out! (Girls ' 18 and 19 years).

*... I was persuaded excellently to affinity by one married man. He said, that at it with the wife sex happens once a year ' no more. And this year at them already was, but to it has not sufficed (the woman ' 29 years).

*... He has written, that it does not have "left" thoughts, and we have met. We spoke on neutral themes, and suddenly it had a "left" thought me to kiss. I did not object to one kiss, but it should kiss often. And we have established with it norm: one kiss at an o'clock. But it did not have a will to suffer, and it not wanted to me to become because of it the dishonest woman, and we have left (the girl, 16 years).

*... One guy in village long did not pay to me attention, but I have decided to get acquainted with it all the same. Has somehow seen it on the bank of one, has quickly climbed in small river and began to shout, that already to tone. It has rescued me, and I have thanked at its passionate night of love. And it has infected me with a gonorrhoea. Is better I would sink (the girl, 24 years).

*... Very romantic lover has got to me under the announcement: ate nothing, nothing saws to what on me did not stick, verses, the asshole (the woman, 32 years) all night long read.

*... I have much changed the mind about love and have solved: in marriage I will not go, the death, than torture chambers (the girl is better, than 13 years).

*... To me of 25 years, but already in the mornings I peer at the two first wrinkles at eyes. I would like to meet not that guy who will come today to me on a visit, but these two microscopic wrinkles deduce me from themselves and force to agree with with what I do not agree. It sits in an armchair opposite to me - not such beautiful, not such strong, not such clever. We have already drunk, and I any more so am am irritated with its boastful grimaces, omniscience, vseponimajstvo and vseudavajstvo. He already so has got to talking, that I already believe, that will not pass also year as he will bathe in dollars, and every day to buy new "Mercedes" (the girl, 25 years.).

*... As the doctor-traumatologist I wish to warn, that love traumas can arise and on mutual to the consent of sexual partners. If she also shouts at this time "more and more", it does not mean at all, that under it "still" it has an empty seat.

*... I have joked of the old grandfather and have included to it on a video player not vojnushku, and pornushku. And I come from work in the evening and I ask: "Well, the grandfather, anything telki?". He has answered me approximately so: "At us in the fortieth year was more abruptly. One maid on a mow has given to six muzhiks and has gone doit on a farm of cows. And in your cinema two cachectic girls could not cope with one muzhik, at them languages sideways for weariness were tumbled down" (grand daughters, 31 year).

*... So has strongly fallen in love with the girl from intimate services, that she even for money did not wish to sleep with me (the guy, 19 years).

*... Men often try to lift the woman and on hands to carry it on a bed. As the doctor-traumatologist, I do not advise: muzhiks so it is frequent them thus drop. And then me ask to write down in the case record, that itself has fallen in the street, but I that on character of a trauma see, that about a floor the poor thing brjaknuli or a head about the closed door have put.

*... Some little girls have made of our class for us for final evening an original gift; they have acted in film in a group picture in one plavochkah - without bjustikov, with a naked breast. We were stunned, but was then found out, that have sent a photo not to all boys, and some. Probably, that we knew, that we lose with leaving school (guys, 17 and 17 years).

*... And you know, what gift was made to us for February, 23rd by our familiar girls? After a celebratory table on which all of them have prepared, they have dipped light and under silent music have shown us a beautiful striptease and even have allowed to slap to everyone them in a soft place. It is more they than anything to us have not resolved (students of teacher's college ' 20 and 21 year).

*... My girl was very drunk, and I began to be accustomed it to kiss, that it on me not blevanula. And she has smiled and she has told, that in a full order, has gently nestled on me, and here it and has pulled out on me: the roast, three salads, the champagne bottle, hundred cognacs, a cake, two frozen - itself ordered (the guy, 22 years).

*... Played cards on an undressing. One man has removed from itself last detail and has again lost, and then it has taken out the artificial teeth from a mouth, and nobody knew, that they at it plug-in. To one woman it became bad with heart (the guy, 27 years).

*... My former mother-in-law had a strange habit: to climb on my pockets and to search for money. I time took and have imposed a full pocket of beaten glass and have forgotten about it. The wife then asks me: you have lost nothing? I answer it, that anything. She speaks: will say lies! At you half-litre in a working uniform laid. I have stopped to erase, the bottle has broken, and glass has broken a washing machine. Well, and the mother-in-law of lines has saved! (The man, 44 years).

*... On the first appointment in 15 years I took with myself ten condoms. And all of them were useful: we filled with their water and threw from a loggia in passers-by (the guy, 21 year).

*... As the doctor the traumatologist, I consider as the most widespread erotic trauma - wedding. One woman do not concern so badly as own bride or, more correctly to tell, the young wife. In a usual situation the man is more patient to the consent to the partner. Grooms in the first wedding night as from a chain break. Will get drunk to a barbed wire in eyes and hasty force the unique love on light. Girls and to sigh are not in time, as all inside, excuse for the truth, it is torn apart to a bone. And then them at night bring in travmpunty, unsteady from blood loss and also assert, that, likely, it from meal bad so zatoshnilo.

*... My husband was drank up "to cockroaches": catches them on kitchen, names tender names and talks to them. But the mental hospital does not take away it. It is said that "silent" now to put there is no place, now at many cockroaches in a head. And that my husband any more only with them talks, but also eats some with "raw materials", excites nobody. Here supposedly if it ate human flesh, then would take away. To you, can, and is ridiculous read these lines, but cockroaches in kitchen remains a little (the woman, 54 years).

*... The girlfriend washing told, that somehow time it went to acquaintances in settlement. They have gone there on a disco. To it the guy there was pasted. High, beautiful, all at it. It has gone it to see off, and on road was found out, that it was pleasant to it not, and its false teeth. As he thought, from gold. It is good, that the help has appeared in time in time (the girl, 30 years).

*... One guy has invited me to itself, and at all of us was wet, as on "Titanic" (the girl, 16 years).

*... All life loved one rascals and it was happy. That basically to us, women, it is necessary, that so have deceived, that was trusted. And to love the decent muzhik boringly and it is uninteresting, as if plates to beat about a drunk muzzle where accuracy is not important, and that will take offence (the woman, 56 years).

*... In the book of records it is possible to bring the Soviet Komsomol buildings: there have left hundred thousand young guys and girls. And what they there after work did, when on one thousand versts round any condom? In Siberia now to the people not to force the way.

*... I with such guy in investigation would not go, he to a front line would rape me.

*... Described on a paper the love affair the whole week, and did its minutes five.

*... I know now, that such the man-one-woman man. One night loves and any more does not want - will run.

*... I wished to divorce from it, but each time at it was against me a new condom.

*... In city sex firms blondes have suspiciously fallen in price.

*... The life to the person is allowed only once and to live it it is necessary so that was what to divide at divorce.

*... As one blue poet has told: "The less woman we love, the we like the man" is easier.

*... Has skilfully spitted out, at once it is visible, that long trained.

*... One-women is the grown old man-one-woman man.

*... I know other correct answer of an old riddle "Without windows and doors - the room of people" is full. Same the used condom.

*... I appoint appointment to the unfamiliar guy. It approaches to me, holding in a hand the identification newspaper. Without zdraste suggests me to oversleep with it. I to it a slap in the face, and it indifferently repeat the dirty offer. From me - the second slap in the face. And suddenly he to me admits, that it was check: decent I the girl or not. I for it vlepljaju to it the third, strongest slap in the face. On what it leaves with words: "you for me too decent girl!" (The girl, 23 years).

*... The love in a haystack is unforgettable - from it are then scratched week.

*... Whether and the truth it, what man's pipiski it is possible to learn the size under the form of an ear from the guy? Heard, that when an ear round, it big. And when an ear square, rough or with sharp edges - all on the contrary, small. There should be any way to learn about it in advance. Little girls all admit, that at local children all small and all does not suffice the sizes. I too so consider (the girl, the age is not specified).

*... Five years ago, when I was 13 years old, I had such love affair. My coeval Valera began to be on friendly terms with me. Then our relations have come too far: he has kissed me some times, and has touched with a finger (little finger) my breast. The coolest that he has told: "Forgive, Lena, but I all rest will make with you then. Here I will grow big, to a camp bad and I will make. And I will love now you so - the right thoughts". It is a pity, that when we have grown, it became bad with other girl whom married (the girl, 18 years).

*... After conversation with the father our son has restored normal sexual orientation, and any more is not interested in men, and not than to it now to be interested, therefore the father has beaten off to it the most interesting place (the woman, 34 years).

*... At my friend in a family interesting entertainment. He names every morning the wife other name and all the day so her calls. The spouse has already got used and responds on all names (the man, 34 years).

*... In bed it was possible to me of everyone pereprobyvat. And here has come to one woman for the night, and in the morning its dog to me violently has licked eggs. And try refuse - a Rottweiler. Sensation - so-so. Was frightened, but it was not described (the man, 37 years).

*... Has found at my ten years' brother in a jacket the whole condom and began to ask. Promised not to speak to the father if it to me all tells. And he admitted, that it likes the schoolmate, and prezik is necessary for imposing appearance (well ' in a their way ' that is more adult to look). They ' accidentally ' drop it from a pocket that all saw them krutost. I was not ashamed to ask, whether they dress them or not. On what my brother has burst into tears and has escaped. Probably, try, time so has taken offence (the girl ' 19 years).

*... Most my favourite adventure was to float with little girls on depth of the river. You will entice it far away from coast - you will pull off from it shorts. To it it is necessary either to sink, or not to pay attention on my impudent poglazhivanija (the guy, 20 years).

*... We looked on videku new babevik where within 240 minutes of three women had sex with four men. In the first half an hour we with the wife tried to imitate a video film, but quickly all have tried, have got tired and began to look simply at this pornoslaughter-house. It seemed to us, that all these seven men and women have simply broken loose, and after a film them again will chain, differently they will rape around all live (the man, 22 years).

*... I will get drunk and will hang up on a chandelier condoms.

*... I wish to share with all about the love affair. Happens so, that mine "the fighting tool", before smoothly serving to me, began to give misfires.

My girl-friend foolishly has suggested to use national medicine where it was said, that for potentiality increase in 18 times it is necessary to whip a young nettle the bottom part of a trunk - around a waist. There and then all also has come true. About two hours I suffered krapivnye burns. Next morning my girl-friend on me has snatched. I do not know about potentiality increase, and painful sensations have raised time in 100. A back intolerably burnt down, and the skin has been covered by crimson stains, as at zubroida. After that we have left forever (the guy, 24 years).

*... Has reached at me business, and only I have got from trousers "Snickers".

*... In Russia Boldinsky autumn - all on summer residences boldejut.

*... We with the wife have lived 37 years, and I did not have love affairs so I have nothing to describe the feats: they are not present. (The Man, 61 year). From the leader of a marriage heading: why is not present? That you have written, is the present feat.

*... At us on a class lists of local sponsors with instructions of their phones go among little girls. But the father said to me, that it is lists of souteneurs from city public brothels.

*... Kirillov's our city has also a bad glory. In the summer foreign tourists from steam-ships offer for the Russian girl on 20 dollars. It is the big temptation. At us here even currency grandmas are (the guy ' 29 years).

*... My friend to me has told, that it is possible to check up: the little girl kissed guys or not? It is necessary shchipnut it for a shoulder. netselovannaja will shout "oh", and tselovannaja - "ah" (the guy, 14 years).

*... I write to advertise, and love affair at me still is not present. All in work. Here three years I am engaged in private carrying and has noticed ' that girls whom you carry late at night after taverns, imperceptibly change linings "Kefri" on a back seat. Perhaps for what prepare? And old linings throw under a seat. Here write ' let they do not throw, and take them with itself (the man ' 35 years).

*... I have tested the first sexual inclination in 15 years on reception at the traumatologist. He examined my broken foot, and crisis was above a knee (the woman, 36 years).

*... What is the love with "the left thoughts"? It when would be desirable and suffer or when be on friendly terms? (The guy ' 17 years).

*... You should write about ways of competent sex is more often. Here my wife all life does not see in sex orgazma - does not finish, and nobody can help it: neither I, nor the doctor, its first husband and someone there to all of us (the man, 38 years).

*... If you yet did not try to make love in a bath be followed my council - do not try... I have soaped the girl shampoo, and it has turned to the seductive mermaid. It was necessary to tumble down it in a bath, but at this time I have slipped on its soap body, and have hit a forward teeth about bath edge. Erektsii as did not happen, and the forward tooth at me has broken (the student, 23 years).

*... At an entrance I had sex with one little girl on a window sill of the seventh floor and, during the most pleasant moment, it has slipped out hands and has fallen. Well though not on street (the guy, 26 years).

*... One my acquaintance absolutely has gone crazy and has offered me sex three together - I ' it and its dog. I have exposed it for a door. He also has not understood ' on what I have taken offence. And it can has thought ' that I simply with a Rottweiler do not want ' and I sleep with dogs of other breed? (The woman ' 34 years).

*... With any of our officers of military institute I agree to go to investigation to return to one (the cadet, 20 years).

*... Time was co-ordinated to me behind a cranberry one man somehow. Eight kilometres to me, what he the good, strong, clever and decent man and kanjuchil at me successively told intimate affinity. On the eighth kilometre so has got, that I as a heron was gave to it directly on a marsh hummock. And in these five minutes it so has exhausted, that all way back I bore it on myself, as sanitarka the wounded man in war literally. I constantly would like it to shoot down or put on an empty plastic bucket a head and to drown in a bog. We almost have not typed a cranberry (the woman, 36 years).

*... Not to be ill with AIDS, it is necessary to eat more than a crude beet (the guy, 16 years).

*... To our settlement there has arrived the sponsor ' to it of years twenty. This guy got acquainted with our little girls and suggested to be tried for a role of the main heroine of a new film which it is going to remove together with the Italian film studio "Dee-di-express train-tejshel". But it said lies all. Its cousin to us has told, that it from a city has arrived on a visit. Now I will never trust sponsors, and one little girl to it "Dee-di" has believed that ' and it to it... Well, in general ' it "sponsored" at its night (the girl ' 18 years).

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