The woman at the wheel:))

THE BOOK OF SEXUAL REVELATIONS

(Alexey Vinogradov, the journalist, conducted ten years a marriage heading in the newspaper)

*... I wish to remind our generation as we boys seriously thought, that women of Muslim "nationality" are physically arranged in another way. "To sleep to lay down with the southerner it is necessary, - spoke and argued, - not along the woman, and across" (the man, 58 years).

*... My native grandfather once on 66 year of a life zagljadelsja on the neighbour's old woman. And my native grandmother has struck it for it on a head a ski and has gone to it into such scene of jealousy. She so shouted and called the grandfather, that members of all our family (mum, the daddy, I and the brother) have learnt, that the grandfather since a youth so strongly changed to the grandmother, that its numerous illegitimate children are scattered on all city. That to it on funeral 500 city old women of easy behaviour will come, and she to it on funeral will not come. And the grandfather in the answer has told about the grandma, that it in 1963 a poker has broken their first TV, having been jealous the grandfather to singer Zykinoj (the guy, 20 years).

*... With what men come on the first appointment to the woman. We will begin with not clearest - it has come with colours. They are the most dangerous gentlemen as the woman is capable to thaw even from a liquid bouquet of carnations, and from a three of the stood roses it in the first day is capable to commit follies with unfamiliar buketonositelem.

So has developed on private Russian ethics, in our country flowers give only on holidays, and easier to present to the woman some plants is means, literally to be explained to it in warm attachment. And if the unfamiliar man comes on appointment to colours is the suspicious man babbling, so-called, odnopodushechnik ordinary. It lives everywhere. Eats female hearts. Then they also hunt together, trying to trade in another's area. odnopodushechnik it is easily defined on a smell - stinks expensive losonami. It is hardy. Dust, rat poison and female tenderness on it do not operate.

Men with chocolates are not less dangerous. It on 2-5 appointment it is possible to understand the man-shokoladkonositelja - at it the first stage of your training has begun. Time accustoms you to take food from hands - means, already wishes to stroke, but still is afraid. In this case safely substitute the back.

*... About twenty years ago I had one romantic adventure. I have drunk that day for bravery a bottle of vodka and have gone to the next village to call the beloved to marry me. On strange coincidence of circumstances I have met on road of one buddy. We drank four days on its birthday, and somehow from me its cousin has become pregnant, and I had to marry it (the man ' 51 year).

*... At me at the certificate has burst prezik (prezervator). How to be: to tell to it, what it has flown? I have meanwhile kept silent, and suddenly she has felt, but has concealed unintentional pleasure and hope on in marriage with me? (The guy, 19 years).

*... What for girls wish to marry us? At me a wind in a head and at it, and it is necessary to raise children, instead of ears to wave. Where to live and than to feed children even if on beer does not suffice (the guy, 21 year).

*... Once we were pinned to one guy who has come to us to a room to one little girl. In a hostel at us was at once five put births on one floor. It has got drunk and cut down on a bed of the little girl. And in the morning all of us have decided it to play. Directly in shirts have four together pulled hard on its bed and have told to it, that he all night long was engaged with us in group sex, and we have forgotten to be protected. And all of us should throw institute and to give birth. It sat all green-crimson for horror, and we as geishas persuaded him to marry at least one of us. It has then asked for a toilet and has escaped. More we it did not see. On signs is a cadet of the second year, shchuplenky such, cowards in a speck, a muzzle too (girls, 19,19,19 and 20 years).

*... My married girlfriend half a year by force fed the muzhik with one Viagra, all salary on it has squandered. And it, a reptile, on the quiet fed a medicine to their castrated cat. That for some reason ate, he in general eats everything, that on the Wiskas similar. So as a result, the cat cannot live without Viagra - as the fool shouts and asks still. And the husband with the girlfriend and does not sleep. Then the girlfriend began to mix this "Viagra" with soup, compote and even in vodka, but her husband was still raised only on meal. After that it with the husband went to the special doctor where they to it all have told about Viagra. The doctor has not died nearly from laughter so has cheered up that is direct on the recipe to both has registered there is a Wiskas with a valerian (the woman, 30 years).

*... I will tell "love story" of my children.... Has somehow come from a summer residence home. My children and two more play "house" or "family". Have dressed up our cat in doll panties, and neighbour's children have got on a short skirt on the cat. It is difficult to me to describe without roughness, that they did with animals to force one cat to enter sexual cat's communication with other cat. I to dissuade began absolutely seriously them from this invention, delicately explaining, that "cat-wife" does not like "cat-husband". Children have rested on the, and continued to put one cat on another. Eventually, I have not sustained and I say to them, that it is two cats, instead of a cat with a cat. Well, here the most younger neighbour's girl has looked at me as on the backward and uneducated woman, and has authoritatively told: "We know, that it is two cats, but they - cats-gay persons. We will force them to get married among themselves and then us will show on the TV in transfer" And to you is weak? " . And after that children's explanation definitively all has got me, and I have dispersed children on houses (the woman, 32 years).

*... We with little girls have decided to be pinned over the announcement of any gay person.

Have written it the letter and have appointed in it appointment at a cinema "Contemporary". And have changed clothes of one little girl the boy and have sent it on appointment to the gay person. We too would like to look on hohmu. We began to go behind them imperceptibly.

The gay person in what was not cut. It liked our "boy". They have joined hands and have gone along the street. Has come to an end that our "boy" has not sustained and began to be rude to the gay person who in something has begun to doubt and has started to call "boy" in a public toilet. We thought, that our girlfriend - "boy" zaboitsja to go to a man's toilet. But it has gone and already there has not sustained. It seemed to it, that muzhiks very ridiculously do it, and it has escaped (the student, 21 year).

*... In a hostel the erotic dream has dreamt our girl-friend and the neigbour in a room. It so it roughly empathized, that all of us have woken up, have included soft light and were curious witnesses of its actions in a dream. In the morning we have snatched on it with inquiries. She at us the meek creature, the modest woman also adheres to sights "before wedding it is impossible". And here that we have heard from it. The beautiful and self-assured man what it hates has dreamt it. This man in a dream began to stick to it, it beat off, but it force has seized its virginity. We have not managed to constrain laughter and have told to the touchy person, that it did in a dream. In the beginning it loudly groaned, whispered: " No, yes, yes, yes, no, yes, yes, still, still, yes, still ". Thus it tormented the pillow in embraces, passionately it kissed and ironed, named a pillow lovely names. Movements of a body of our girlfriend were flexible and similar to something bolshee, and still feet it touched in a dream so was able, that we have begun to doubt in its innocence (girls, 19 and 20 years).

*... Once we with the girlfriend liked the guy. We searched for every possible ways that with it to get acquainted, and at last it was possible to us. We have started to visit it. Ourselves, instead of it. Our acquaintance began very primitively: we wrote it questions, and he in writing answered them. One point of a note included such question: "Who is pleasant to you on the person, and who - on character?" And we have received such answer, not so me pleased. He has written, that I like it on character, and the girlfriend (reptile) - on the person. And still he has chosen it as "an adoration subject". And so it would be desirable, that our strong half of mankind paid attention not only on cute "fintifljushek", but also to usual little girls, such, as I (the girl, 15 years).

*... To my announcement has responded eleven men, but especially I liked the letter from prison. I in the address did not hear such tender words from the husband for 15 years of a matrimony. I have written to it, simply it would be desirable to receive from it one more letter. He has written me the answer to 6 pages. Heart was stirred up from these lines, has gone to it on appointment. Truths and nepravdami has achieved appointment to it. But as has seen - poured out urka. And letters for it were written by other prisoner. Who is more competent and with imagination the friend at friends composes in letter prison for others or they peredirajut texts of letters. I urke have given the the pies and cutlets, it has scared me, that has fallen in love and all the same in two years will arrive to me gets acquainted. All in tears from such deceit I has come back home (the woman, 34 years).

*... Personally the chief on work did not stick to me, but I have unexpectedly seen the such. To my chief about 30 years ' high ' beautiful ' as name ' the abrupt muzhik in a tie. I have found it behind the unseemly: it has bent our cleaner whom for 40 years ' and "had" it directly about a mop and a bucket at the table. It - strashennaja the woman ' on it muzhiks do not look at all ' and it, in my opinion, a handsome man. I fly in the evening in its office: a mute scene ' as in "Auditor". I have stood at a threshold, the cleaner is bent at a table, and my chief by inertia moves, and at the eye have got out of orbits from unexpectedness. So some seconds also looked against each other. I have gasped and have escaped (the woman ' age is not specified).

*... My girlfriend such amorous as if over it the mad love affair at which instead of onions and arrows - in hands Kalashnikov's automatic machine from which it constantly perforates its gentle maiden heart eternally flies. Once she has managed to fall in love at once in four guys from our course (the girl, 22 years).

*... When I was 16 years old, and my future husband for a year has more, we had sex at his place. He has learnt from friends that it is necessary to make love at red light and then you will not become pregnant. It has included a red lantern, and I have flown from the first. Together we have lived six years, then it spilsja and was washed off (the woman, 38 years).

*... The maniac in the street has approached to us (it old and bald) and has called us well to spend with it time. We have distinguished in it the maniac and have started to call it and to shout at it. He was frightened and has run from us, and we have caught up and napinali to it (in general, we behind kicked). The muzhik has taken offence and allow to howl on us and to call. Then nearby there passed guys, and we have told it about the maniac. Guys began to jump and kick the muzhik in ears. We have regretted the muzhik and began to protect it from these boys. And they have left. I have given to the muzhik the scarf. We have shaken off to it behind a shirt, and wished to finish it to the house, but it zabojalsja us and has quickly left. Here such we had an adventure (girls, 14 and 15 years).

*... My husband has left from me to devjatnadtsatiletnej to the little girl. I have decided to present to it on birthday sovochek for a children's sandbox: let together pies do (the woman, 49 years) in the summer.

*... There is I once along the street. I am am caught up with the young man with obvious intention to get acquainted. But he is confused. Then approaches on the other hand and asks: "do not want a cake cheese?" I was stunned by such unexpected offer. Me still never "glued" on a cake cheese. I have, of course, refused a curd cake, and with the young man have spent unforgettable evening (the girl, 26 years).

*... Four hours went on a city - searched love. Here such love affair (the girl, 16 years).

*... It is not necessary to stir to dialogue of boys and girls at any age. Let are on friendly terms, as want. I long forbade the son, yet have not found it behind sex with our big dog. To it of 16 years, here they also rage at this age: there was no little girl so the dog has turned up. To me has still carried, that I about it almost have learnt at once (the woman, 39 years).

*... When all of us leave from the house in school and institute, our 68-year-old granny looks on a video recorder a rigid porno, and then tells about it on a shop to other old women. Sit, listen, ears on asphalt have stretched, and in it already boom-boom (the girl, 19 years).

*... Four orgazma successively... And I have understood, I will be, and it, a pancake, has appeared already married - two children and a summer residence with the mother-in-law (the woman, 30 years).

*... In your newspaper so many marriage announcements from serious men, that even seem to me, that if for the night to put newspaper number under a pillow it is possible in the morning will wake up the pregnant woman (the girl, 23 years).

*... All say, that already there is no romantic love. And at our entrance there lives the beautiful woman at whom under a door flowers every morning lay. It, should be, it does not love - always leaves and one comes from work. To me who though time has brought flowers, and behind it always would go and loved. My guy has presented in the spring before last to me a chocolate, but almost all and has eaten (the girl, 19 years).

*... I have despaired to find to myself of new Russian. All have already snatched away. And can look new Russian on prisons? Leaves - will be mine.

*... Cadets of military institute of communication such misers. Estimate: on the second appointment all the evening long drove me on stalls - searched cheap preziki (the girl, 18 years).

*... In our village four girls and only one boy of our years. We thought-thought, but have thought up nothing (girls, 12 and 14 years).

*... I love dogs, at least: clearly and pleasantly (the woman, 30 years).

*... My grandmother lives at us in the winter, and for the summer leaves to live to itself in village. In that village almost nobody lives. Except the grandmother there there live 10 more old women and one lonely grandfather whom starushentsii could not ozhenit in any way. But it willingly visits grandmothers - they to it bring to drink. My grandmother tells, that him invite for the sake of a man's smell that has smoked in a log hut and that all has become permeated with the smell of man's spirit (the girl, 21 year).

*... To me there has on a visit arrived the man from a city. We have got acquainted through the newspaper and have agreed in the letter on a meeting in my territory. All is good, but we suited with it visitors, and it has liked young ' to the dissolved neigbour with two children. It behind a table has stuck: sell the muzhik, and sell! Has got drunk, shouts: "I Give 3000 roubles!" It has flattered my visitor. And it has run away to it to spend the night. So there also has registered at it (the woman ' 45 years)

*... At it on a back place a tattoo "two mice on buttocks run". He was imprisoned, and I would like to learn - this tattoo specifies in what crime? It is a gang or, in general, racket. I should know what it of adventures on the bum ponahodil (the woman, 57 years).

*... I wish you to warn against blind belief to different television advertising. As an example of it the sketch from a life of my sister with her husband can serve. It has thrown (on that there were reasons) in the husband a frying pan with antiprigarnym a covering. I will not tell, that has got, and so - casually on a back and about a wall. But if earlier in this frying pan all simply burnt slightly, after that throw in it all food a flame burns (the girl, 27 years).

*... I remember such case when to me one acquaintance has told: if long to make love, as a result there will be a boy. If quickly - that the girl. But the most interesting, that in it surprised me most of all, it when he will see the girl with the son - it there and then has a thought, that she likes to make love (the girl ' 19 years).

*... In village I long observed of a cock and, at last, have understood, than it does it (the girl, 16 years).

*... My cousin walked with the cadet of military institute and has become pregnant from it. And he does not trust it and says, that the child not from it because at it eggs are burnt by radiation and never will be children.

*... And still there was a case in village. Has decided to bake pies. Hands on an elbow in the test. The lover suddenly runs in, not having had time to greet, leans me to an oven - and the skirt hem appears on my head. Through pair minutes me straighten, kiss and disappear. That I have baked then, I do not remember (the woman, 42 years).

*... I will write you love affair of my big brother. It has bought at one muzhik a foreign car cheap, in it and the motor was not. It did not go at all. Wished to repair - it has not turned out. My brother in this thrown car began to break little girls. Will invite to drive, and itself says to the little girl that has forgotten keys, a reluctance to come back, give we will simply sit in "Mercedes". Sit there while it will not give to it, and any room for meetings it is not necessary (the girl, 20 years).

*... We in settlement have one nachalnichek which it is direct in an office fucks the employee. It closes a door on a latch and says to the secretary, that they discuss working affairs. From an office loud radio, but also groans of "discussion of working problems" too is heard are audible. This nachalnichek sometimes drives also other woman, not from our organisation, but that does not shout. It is visible, is afraid, that will tell to her husband. In general, there live people! (The woman, 30 years).

*... I met one man with whom we have got acquainted under the announcement. Time to us has come to get acquainted more close, and I have invited him to myself. In the beginning all was as usually. We had supper and danced under slow music, but then, it has gradually touched cognac and was cut down. I have decided to lay to it on a sofa. Began to move from an armchair, and at it from a pocket condoms fell down. I do not know, that he wished to do with me (probably to kill me by means of sex), but them it had 18 pieces. In the morning it was overslept and has left. More I it did not see (the woman, 32 years).

*... I do not know, whether it is possible to name this adventure love, but till now it is a shame to me with it. Somehow we with girlfriends walked and have argued, that I cannot approach to the first guy and ask, what length at it (know that). Well, I have approached and have asked. To our general surprise, he not only was not confused, but also has informed us the sizes (the girl, the age is not specified).

*... My love affair. Once I went for a drive on a raft with the guy whom I love, but he does not love me. While we floated, our raft has not turned over nearly ' and here then he to me has told: "If you start to sink, I will rescue you!" And we have floated further. And here our raft has touched about a stone, and we have crashed down in water. I have started to sink. It has strong pressed me to itself(himself) and has told: "You my best girlfriend!" We have reached coast. And I felt rescued (the girl ' 12 years).

*... I was 12 years old, and my sister played with me in such game. It blindfolded me and promised a chocolate if I lay silently and not to spy. We then lived six together in two-room apartment: mum ' the daddy ' the grandmother ' I ' sister and her husband. But I all the same spied upon a newly-married couple, and it very much was useful to me, when I have grown and have married (the woman ' 45 years).

*... I love men ' self-assured and with a normal floor space. From a hostel to take the man it is not necessary: he has grown among a dirt and cockroaches. What from such it is possible to wait? I on a visit ' even ' had in the winter a man from a hostel. After it I have caught in a room of a cockroach. Precisely I know: it on clothes has brought it. There is no place (the woman ' 49 years) more.

*... I wish to dissuade other women to go to men from village. All of them visitors of brides force doit a cow. Check on the validity of the mistress. Who doit is not able - those expel. And at them it is a lot of cows. The muzhik happened one, and cows 2-3 (the woman, 54 years).

*... I have got tired of loneliness and happiness searches ' have decided to get acquainted with the married man for meetings to weaken muscles and to learn new from a life (the girl ' 19 years).

*... Somehow the patient has been delivered to reception ' the man of average years to me. He should be examined. I have suggested it to undress to cowards. The man was "vypimshi". I very much was surprised: something black stuck out at it between feet. I have asked: "That it at you?" He was confused, but has answered with medical language: "Penis". Also has told history. There is ' he is an impotent man and satisfied women with a rubber self-made subject which has been adhered by bandage to its belt. After its leaving we with the colleague could take breath and be derided (the woman ' 48 years).

*... I love it, but he does not guess it. It is married and is imprisoned (the girl ' 22 years).

*... My neighbours-pensioners (to it of years under fifty five or more) saw round any elixir of a youth and began to have sex every day almost. Only I will come from institute so hour per three days they begin. And the secret has opened casually. To them, it appears, has arrived to stay for a while the grandson and twisted at this time "video player". Understand, what maintenance of a film it looked through to the full extent (the girl ' 22 years).

*... I in December had a lover, he was 50 years old. I thought, that he will die on me. And I have not died nearly (the girl, 22 years).

*... It seems to me, that the Arabian man takes to itself as wife so much women, how many can support. And the Russian man gets so much women, skolkih can satisfy sexually (the woman, 31 year).

*... Business was in sanatorium. On dances I have picked up the quite good muzhik. We danced, closely having nestled to each other, and I have felt, that it wanted to it to take a walk. Well, you have guessed. Well, and I have guessed, and itself have decided to joke of the gentleman and loudly I speak: "Clean, please, from a pocket a room key. You to me have scratched all hip". He has changed countenance, and with fear "key" at once was cleaned. This evening we still for a long time talked and walked, I seriously thought of its "key", but it both has lost it after my joke, and has not found (the woman, 39 years).

*... In some villages has remained ancient povere, that if before dojkoj to kiss a cow on nostrils it will give all milk. My grandmother long persuaded so to make me, once I have agreed, and it was pleasant to me. It is sticky a little but when rural boys you kiss, from them sljunej it is even more (the girl, 18 years).

*... On the market I go only in a short skirt, I buy only from sellers-men,

To me always strongly concede in the price. So, the more long a foot, the more shortly the price!

(The girl, 22 years).

*... If liked you the unfamiliar man ahead of time zasobiraetsja home,

That remove from itself an unimportant part of a toilet or change clothes in the house. It will detain

The gentleman still a minimum on an hour. But do not hold it at itself more than three hours, try

eroticheski to encourage the man in a hall - not so dexterously having evaded from the first

Kiss. It to force it to come once again.

*... I - the thick, forty-year optimist with two children in municipal apartment,

Also there is no still such trap which would keep the man near me. Though a trap

- It is good thought. Well to put one on kitchen, and two more traps in a corridor (the woman, 41 year).

*... In forty five years it is not simple. I have found to myself of the suitable sexual partner.

Thought, will be the partner, and it has appeared the spy. The address and phone has told lies, a surname

Has thought up, it was confused - was called as Andrey and Sergey, three days of love - and was gone or

Has died, and I the woman hot... The request at me to you such: I wish to meet the young

(It is possible married) the guy that without a sclerosis and the name remembered (the woman, 45 years).

*... Be afraid of men who on the first appointment start to read verses, to tell

About kind mum and fishing. Much rodnee what will tell to you about the

Sores, will complain of troubles on the work, will complain about dearness

Lives. And so on will attentively listen from you. Such take, not deliberating

- Our muzhik. This is capable to live in the most adverse conditions, and if it

It is good to feed - can leave posterity.

*... I ask to print my reference to two strangers: "Muzhiks, which on December, 1st

Ran for me at 11 o'clock in the evening from park to the underground. You do not worry, what not

Have caught up. I all the same had critical days "(the girl, 22 years).

*... We have got acquainted with it under the announcement. It has come on a visit, such strange, and

He as CHapaev, has charged in a machine gun last tape says to me, that. To what has told

- I do not know. The whole evening it ground the superfluous much. We with it have sat hour four, at

Us with it was nothing, and it has gone home. It is visible, it "CHapaev" the machine gun has forgotten houses

(The woman, 53 years).

*... As conscience allows some to print such announcements as has written in one

Newspaper number the 24-year-old guy who writes in the announcement, that the good

pipisku it is necessary to prepare for a month for New year. Prompt it the recipe from me,

As it to prepare for a holiday: small to cut, water with kerosene and to throw out

(The girl, 23 years).

*... One little girl has given on dances to the guy on the person and has broken to itself a finger. Children then

Said, that little girls should not beat a fist - at them fingers weak and break.

Little girls should beat guys on the person a slap in the face. But all to beat it is impossible, because

Can take offence and break feet (the girl, 18 years).

*... Once in the winter in a thirty-degree frost my aunt took out dust and has found

Behind tanks absolutely drunk, but decently dressed man. It has hardly dragged

It to itself on the second floor... Also has lived together with it 26 years in full happiness.

It has appeared the captain of the vessel going on abroad (the niece, 24 years).

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