The woman at the wheel:))

THE BOOK OF SEXUAL REVELATIONS

(Alexey Vinogradov, the journalist, conducted ten years a marriage heading in the newspaper)

GREEN LOVE

For ten years of work in the newspaper I have read to leaders of a marriage heading much and today I offer the review of reader's letters on erotic rest on the nature.

At once I will tell, that fairy tales that the tipsy Russians suit group, love rows on the nature is vraki and nonsense of some authors inflamed by debauchery. The morals in the most charcoal pjanke at all Russians remain at due height. Well, while they still remember themselves, anything such ugly and will not allow. Especially the ladies, well all elbows and knees from superfluous gentlemen otbrykajutsja. And when and to remember round itself cease, all the same: instinctively creep to monogamous, love relations.

That is wonderful in these frivolous pjankah it is impossible to understand where they and what for creep from zastolno the cloth dispatched on a grass. Usually the first the touched men, well, probably creep away, they wish to cover the sickening condition in bushes. Well, and what for it behind it creeps at this time (' Kohl, you where?) is a science it is inexplicable. Likely, wishes to help prigljanuvshemu to come to the man in itself, and, notice, at this time to it not before sex, to it it is simple potoshnit, and it nearby. Often all occurs simultaneously - and toshnit, and love, and again toshnit.

All Russians walk fairly. If we will assume, that somebody crawled away Andrey in bushes with Svetoj already till the end of lasting many hours pjanki it remains to it is true. It after all then too will spread, and it too becomes toshnit, and the love, simultaneously, will flash.

As I was written in the letter by one worker of law-enforcement genitals - the doctor of a dermatovenereal clinic, 90 % of a summer and autumn gonorrhoea collect the people during cultural rest on the nature. Rubber means of personal safety there even do not recollect and even during reception of the doctor at once cannot recollect - whether there were at it love charcoal fumes with such girl-friend or is simple so eroticheski toshnilo. Even the skilled doctor the venereologist will not manage, excuse, to make ends meet, to track a source of distribution of an infection.

Well, now we will pass to erotic adventures on the nature of persons hardly reached unscrupulous a maturity. This young growth walks much more modestly, than citizens of middle age. Well, of course, at all tipsy guys at this time in a head one and too and in all pockets the prepared condoms are rumpled. Though very rare impudent person will dare to take advantage of the tipsy condition of the girl-friend directly on the nature. Usually it will fairly finish it to the or its house and already there will receive long-awaited happiness if, of course, their parents zazevajutsja and leave on a summer residence.

Without vodka Russians walk in another way. Judging by your descriptions, if on uedennoj to a clearing any pair sunbathes, it already in half an hour starts to twist a head to look after the suitable place for, apparently, impossible in such crowded place. Well, and in general, the man not on the patience simply so to look at cut of its bathing suit long suffices. He starts to hint, in the beginning, a blade where it is not necessary, and then and words, all is more persevering and sillier.

It seemed to me, that recently in Russia has developed, as though it decently to name, indicative sex on the nature. Very many steams terribly gets, when they not so take cover from human eyes, and with pleasure work on public. It is literally on all city lawns it is possible in the spring and it is easy to peep in the summer, how some lovers or even spouses devils than are engaged. Well, them not to frighten away at all if and in five metres to pass. They not that what are carried away and do not see, and simply very much try not to swear at one another before casual passers-by and in all beauty to show all that are able and even to turn the party convenient for the spectator. I think, that this any local version weighted by sex nudizma.

Allow steam of words to tell about the ambassador diskotechnye otbegalki, well, and after a bar same happens. Leave, happened, at night the young citizens excited with music, and there and then climb in the windbreak of liquid bushes, and are then forgotten and howl during the suddenly flashed love literally. By the way, at this time them even from balconies it is useless water to spill, all the same continue, because the human love is much stronger than the cat's.

Alexey VINOGRADOV

THE HIGH BRUNETTE IN THE YELLOW VALENOK

For ten years of work as leader of a marriage heading in the newspaper I have seen everyone, but letters from the grandfather from one rural area have forced me to go to one very thrown village six years ago.

This grandfather regularly sent me announcements and reciprocal letters where desperately urged young city women to arrive for it to the house, with a bath and kitchen gardens, well, and, certainly, for passionate love. These messages have been written just not by a floor-mat so it is rough and naturalisticheski that it was necessary to leave from forty words of its announcement only 5-6, replacing the others more decent. And then its erotic adventures from its bath, often supplied with explanatory photos of the wild maintenance began to come.

In general, the drunk grandfather has met me on a threshold of the house, in one cowards and old yellow valenoks. Under the passport to it was for sixty, and by the form and to health you will not give also fifty. I will not begin to describe its usual log hut, and at once I will pass to a bath. The grandfather obviously was proud of this as named, sau-at-at th where all from its words has been adjusted to love. A wide double bench, living rubber with thorns that on it nobody slid, on walls numerous wooden hand-rail at different levels that was on what to lean if it is necessary to grow fond standing. The grandfather has told, that hand-rail help and at perepitii that the fallen could rise from a floor which also has been upholstered by rubber, but already smooth - from old automobile tyre covers. In a wall there was an aperture under the camera poljaroid, it was possible to click which from apart - sitting on a bench, it was necessary to pull an old bast hanging on a nail only.

Judging by albums with bannymi photos, in this bath were washed with the grandfather about two hundred young women, separate albomchik with local grandmas the grandfather has not shown to me, having told, that they painfully leanness are terrible.

And all these orgies have begun as early as more many years back when still the young grandfather subtracted in magazine about curative properties of a bath, especially it liked an intimate method of treatment. In the beginning it treated only the grandma, and then began to drive in a bath and neigbours. And as has unexpectedly become a widow/widower, so different grandmas and steels to it in banku to run, roofing felts of the widower it was a pity, and roofing felts indeed began to help from illnesses. The grandfather successfully and all for one bath treated sex rheumatism, a migraine, pressure regulated, and if it is necessary to tighten an ulcer then it was necessary to the grandma to it of time five to run.

Well, and then the grandfather began to write actively letters and announcements to a marriage heading in the newspaper and to treat already young women. I saw its photos with the present beauties, sometimes the grandfather even has been embodied in group pictures, for example, five drunk girls and it in one valenok.

I do not know, paternal it this day treated these little girls, but, probably, to them has helped - all looked quite healthy and even swung over the heads last part of the clothes.

At the grandfather in a souvenir chest, it about pride showed, is collected hundreds female rags for memory. I would name it a collection visually illustrating history of perfection of the bottom lingerie: from the old-womanish bullet-proof vests to shorts, in size with a thick glass tumbler.

Especially the grandfather bragged of the videorecorder presented to it at which it had only one amateur cartridge on which its grandson has removed under the grand-dad's request the cow sex (well, simply bull and cows, well, is very sexual). This artful grandfather showed this cow pornography to the most constraining women then they ran with the grandfather in a bath.

I think, that the grandfather has been sincerely assured of medical nature of the actions on women. It had a special magazine in which it described ways of doctoring at this or that illness. So, for example, the recipe against rheumatism: a vodka glass, then strongly to knead a sick foot and then to plant it, excuse, on the grandfather from above. It, once again excuse, should so long ' rulit ' on the doctor simply to fall without forces. Well, naturally, after such gymnastics about rheumatism you will forget for long time. And here more difficult recipe from a stomach ulcer. In the beginning also - the vodka glass, certainly, to both is the grandfather-doctor on a sober head treated of nobody. And then the patient without any clothes dances in a bath under music - on it forces how many will suffice it. The patient who has fallen to a floor rises the careful doctor, and to it, at once after hot medical embraces, forces for continuation of medical dance again come back. In general, to all helped.

Alexey VINOGRADOV

COUNTRY LOVE

For ten years of existence of a marriage heading in the newspaper I have read from love affairs of our readers about thousand innocent and wine adventures on country sites. This seasonal love, apparently, became for a long time business habitual as successfully combines business with pleasure.

Absolutely at summer residents-schoolboys novels on summer residences, as a rule, do not turn out. Them pulls in a city or in an entrance. And here already at young men and girls such novels happen, but they are short, not longer one or two days off. More often the summer residence empty without parents is used, as base for a victorious party when it is accepted to get drunk everything, toshnit in a well and to be engaged in the shortest in the world sex, in sense, on time, two, three - and was chopped off. The youth which has seized upon country freedom, of course, is drunk to such standard when planting in a bed of the whole condoms in packing which are dug out in the autumn together with a potato by the surprised parents seems normal.

As to matrimonial changes summer residences for married men of 30-45 years are an ideal place of a solitude with the attracted mistress. And women find so much novelty in such meetings, that in eager rivalry brag to girlfriends, that at them with it was at a shed, at a well, on cherdachke and even in tomatoes.

Often write, that the most sweet relations are fastened in old, country armchairs and on the rotted through sofas which springs pleasantly scratch the excited lovers.

Successfully, in this sense, lawful spouses spend time also. At them on the nature the second breath literally opens, that essentially slows down spring country plantings. As one charming woman admitted the letter, that at it with the husband in the winter only the TV, and sex exclusively on a summer residence, in the spring, therefore they eternally are late to water to weed. By the way, conceived in cold, April country houses children, are born in January Capricorns, that is more purposeful and prepared for a life. And in general, always it is necessary to remember, that Capricorns are first country children. And then potato children conceived in May, in June - cucumber will go, in July the people pull on a strawberry though it is very much spoilt, and it is a pity to rumple it, but to heart will not order. By August sex on summer residences at young already calms down, but those who about such joys already and to think for a long time become more active has forgotten.

I do not cease to be surprised on your letters in which you brag, that in September even seventy-year grandfathers become again men. And about grandmothers and to speak there is nothing - as if blood with validol plays. Children from such sincere meetings, naturally, is not born, but rare autumn kopka a potato will do without these involuntary memoirs of a youth. Forgive for details, but I in any way do not understand, how these can be engaged, for example, on the potatoes scattered for drying. Well, on the filled bags, still to present it is possible, and here on a floor roll rheumatism on even damp potato people of a pension age can only.

One old woman even gave at date of the old man to all lonely neigbours for a potato bag. It so napomogalsja to all of them, that it is direct without trousers, in a board drunk, has taken away neotlozhka which documentary ascertained rare for such age the sexual hobby which nearly has not become by last for the grandfather dug in a neighbour's potato.

As the doctor-traumatologist familiar to us has written in one letter already to all for a long time, especially sex is dangerous to older persons in hothouses. On the one hand, like and warmly, but a lumbar lumbago at grandfathers turns out there because the old backbone easily allows the man to make an input is more often, but it necessarily gets jammed on an exit. Well, not to me to you it to explain. It is not ridiculous, and is devilishly sick, and still the become puzzled grandmother comes not at once to the admirer to the aid, and some more minutes giggle over the fallen down grandfather while it will not reach, that it not for fun so has jarred on it.

And the jealousy at elderly summer residents is worthy admiration. So, for example, one jealous grandmother for one night has dug out all useful vegetables on a summer residence of the competitor and has set metre bushes of a nettle on their place. And the same jealous grandfather fearlessly rammed on the bicycle ' Zhigulis ' the prospective lover of the old woman, then long fought also it, there can be last in a life marriage shout, was loudly carried on all country sites. Well, indeed the summer residence for Russian is not only second life, but also the second youth.

Alexey VINOGRADOV

SPIDONOSTSY

For ten years of work as leader of a marriage heading in the newspaper I and have not dared to publish any material about AIDS. And the first letter from the guy infected with a HIV-infection has come to me still about ten years ago. I will fairly tell, I then was frightened. Five times has washed up hands with soap and a detergent powder, and then once again a potassium permanganate solution. Well, of course, I knew, that AIDS on a paper is not transferred, but one business the nobility, and another to be afraid. These letters has then come much, the most part from prison, but this the first was the present shock. In it the young guy freely described to me process of the infection and offered, if not bojazno, even to communicate.

I have gone to it on a visit. It was necessary to shake hands, I have there and then recollected all smallest tsarapinkah, and it seemed to me, that AIDS viruses get to me even under nails. I have refused tea, villages on the most remote armchair that during conversation to me its saliva did not reach. It, of course, and more close did not reach, but all the same very much it would be desirable to be in a gas mask.

You excuse my fears, but it was very much for a long time when infected with AIDS all would like to bypass for kilometre. It now they easy live among us, and to all of us healthy, apparently, that we in full safety. Well, you will think, the girl is ill with AIDS so we against it with a condom will go. And if the man is ill, it will walk cautiously. We are for some reason assured, that the patient or the patient will necessarily warn us about danger.

In general, me shook in this in the first meeting with spidonostsem. We long with it stirred, I even have ceased to think of a gas mask and than villages is closer. It remarkably kept, was cheerful and asserted, that to it to spit, but obviously did not spit. Loud laughter and deadly melancholy in eyes. It has shown me a book where he tried to calculate through how many years will die. It has predicted to itself(himself) of 12 years, and has lived only 7. It has shown me the rubber doll from which married after the illness as was afraid of somebody to infect and go to prison casually.

Sometimes he wished to infect specially. To leave in other city where nobody knows it, and to award AIDS of all accessible women, and it is better to find the most fair and innocent, long and beautifully to look after it, and then all the same to infect. He even has undressed one student, but at the last minute has regretted.

This feeling to sweep, it appears, pursues almost all patients: it is insulting, well, why they. In the real life, many of them revenge healthy, but about it nobody wishes to think and understand supposedly infect only casually. I for ten years talked to one ten infected and have received from them hundreds frank letters. They are at war with us. They do not wish to die one.

And we it, healthy, in it help. Well, tell to me, please, in ten years of work in a marriage heading, open this secret: well, why on the announcement to the normal girl came on 1-3 reciprocal letters and if the beauty promised all to make at once and without complexes to it answered 15-30 guys and men. Here, it is interesting, in the latter case, they with what under the account would like to be at this unchained girl? Same, at least, a gonorrhoea and quite possible AIDS.

Well, why they did not wish to do the same most simple movements with normal girls, and preferred, that to them were gave to the first evening? I understand, that is difficult to look after good little girls and women, to them to talk it is necessary also clever to look some days successively. Painfully many now prefer bystrenko to clink glasses with the girl in pair bottles of alcohol, to dismiss drunk sljuni to a shoulder and forward - towards to a venereal disease dispensary.

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

PRINCESSES ON THERMOMETERS

For ten years of work in the newspaper I have read to leaders of a marriage heading much and have seen everyone, and today I wish to tell about love between patients in the Russian hospitals.

The most ridiculous love happens, naturally, in traumatology where lay though also healthy people, but places unduly ushiblennye. This interlacing of the plastered hands and feet and eternally falling crutches do sexual experiences between enamoured patients simply intolerable, and do not promote recover. I read love affair of one student with the broken foot to which its impatient guy every day came. These ridiculous relations between them have stopped only when it has lost balance, has fallen and has broken the second foot, but not to itself, but it.

And here love in therapy, I think, the most romantic. If at the patient not an ulcer the temperature hardly falls down, he already searches for adventures in hospital corridors. I think, that Shakespeare about Romeo and Juliette has written off a plot of the novel in any medieval hospital. How many enamoured patients sit after a supper on dark sofas and armchairs. It, for example, absolutely is still young and usually not married. It is already shabby by the wife who has brought during the lunchtime to it kastrjulki with transfer and apples with which he generously treats now the ardent patient. Sex between them flashes usually at night before an extract, it concedes a part torn for two weeks of a dressing gown and pair of minutes rubs off whitewashing by the place touched by pricks. I, of course, not the doctor it, but the present doctors believe, that such easy koridornye courtings strongly promote recover.

In infectious branch love hobbies are not always possible. Well, it is inconvenient somehow so in a forehead to ask the young woman, that there at it and whether coincides with mine. For ten years to me have sent only one love affair from these places. One lady laid with suspicion on entsefalitnyj vinegar of the tick, and it in the next chamber laid already without any suspicions. And both stings at them were not in usual places, but they have somehow got to talking in a smoking-room, then places of stings began to show each other, and the doctor has casually seen, has thought on bad and has written out them for mode infringement. In general, they from hospital together left and a month later have got married, but to live together did not become, probably, someone from them on the present has been bitten.

In surgical branch of sex in general is not present. Before operation all keep for that place that are going to cut off, and after operation feel, that remains. Yes there too quickly now write out.

In eye branch it is very good to walk. There it is very boring, as serials on the TV usually do not look, but only listen, but love to twist it is a pleasure. All soslepu beautiful itself consider and till sixty years young. One grandfather has very strongly tempted with a thin voice with the dripped eyes the student and when she has begun to see clearly, has started to search favourite, to all young men stuck, but nobody has confessed, and the grandfather has meanly become silent in the meantime at itself in chamber.

At patients in LOR branches hands are always untied. All their illnesses are concentrated around a head which can and not participate in love, and is simple observe. Once the young doctor-probationer has loudly joked in female chamber, that ostensibly it is good to correct tonsils corresponding sex. One patient then ran behind it on all corridor, all asked again. In LOR branch in general all patients very cheerful. Here always it is a lot of youth at which something has not had time to be ill yet serious, and them put in LOR only with pity a little to rummage in young to a nose or in an ear while fresh, to glance. Well, this youth all night long there played tricks, and then wrote to me to a heading that it was possible to them and that has broken off. Relations the most romantic: he for it even eats bitter tablets, the cutlet in a dining room gives, having joined hands, wander on branch and iron each other below tonsils. It in hospitals like a young growth platform. The serious love there does not happen almost.

And here in neurologic branch all patients strictly share on two categories, at which with a back or with a head. Well, with osteochondroses, those peacefully ohajut, keep, for what is ill, and creep on chamber. And large-headed, here those very much to love the correct. Doctors often get it or on nurses hunt. Good branch, I once itself laid, but peacefully ohal.

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

IT NOT SUCH, AS ALL

- It not the such!

- Not such what?

- Completely not such!

- It is better or worse?

- Ridiculous it is, of course, better!

- Better whom?

- Best!

- And for a long time?

- Already whole two days!

- And earlier who was better?

- Earlier there was nobody!

- At once you have found the best?

- He has found me!

- Means, you are better than those whom he knew to you?

- You the silly woman, to me in his life all were frivolous!

- And now?

- All is serious!

- More seriously there is no place, yes?

- You, as will ask, well, of course, for ever!

- Well, what you happy! And at me will be so?

- At you too will be!

- And it will be better, than at you?

- No, not better, the second such is not present!

- It is a pity, that you took the best. And it is possible to look at it?

- Look, but not very much!

- I not very much will look, and when it will be possible to look?

- It now will come!

- I can remain?

- You can!

- And to look at it it is possible?

- Ridiculous, of course, it is possible to look!

- Everywhere, everywhere?

- As it everywhere, only in eyes!

- And growth it is possible to look?

- Growth it is possible!

- And a figure it is possible?

- No, a figure it is impossible!

- And why it is impossible to look the rest?

- It is impossible, and all!

- It he does not want, that it examined?

- It I do not want, that you pjalilas!

- I a little, am possible a little?

- A little it is possible, but look only in the face!

- And at it what eyes?

- At it brown!

- It is light brown or darkly brown?

- Is dark-shameless!

- It is good or bad?

- It is good!

- For it it is good or for you?

- To it it is better!

- And why to it it is better?

- Its women love for it!

- All?

- No, not everything, only I!

- And other do not love it?

- While is not present!

- And why while is not present, and then, means, become?

- Ridiculous, then become!

- And you, and you, and you will begin to suffer?

- I will not notice!

- Not to notice for fun or not to notice at all?

- As it will turn out, but it is better not to notice at all!

- And if suddenly you will notice?

- I will kill!

- It or it?

- In the beginning it!

- And then it?

- Yet I do not know!

- And why you will kill her, not having thought, and over it will reflect?

- Because I love!

- And suddenly it is necessary to kill him also?

- That you grind, I will not kill him, it mine!

- And if there was a stranger would kill?

- Then for certain!

- If suddenly you will want to kill, you can give it to me?

- How to give!

- All the same you will kill?

- I will kill, but I will not give!

- How at cinema?

- Twice more painfully!

- For what you it so?

- It not the such!

- Not such what?

- Completely not such!

- It is better or worse?

- Ridiculous it is, of course, better!

- Better whom?

- Best!

- And for a long time?

- Already whole two days!

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

IT NOT SUCH, AS ALL

- I here, type, have met one.

- Well, and beer was?

- I do not remember, then vodka was.

- Has given or has not given?

- Like would give.

- To you or still who there was.

- Well, that you, are love.

- In sense, zahomutala?

- Well, yes, type, soon again I will go.

- And beer will be?

- Aha, but I without you will go.

- And che you drive, I another's quickly drink.

- Love, you understand, here, already hardly the tie has not dressed.

- Not the fig to itself happens.

- I as have seen it, then have recollected, that at me socks a month the dirty.

- In as, at me too such was - the whole week of a foot of soaps, whole two times. And it at you what of itself?

- Well, type, cultural, almost the teacher.

- I not about that, a breast at it saw?

- Aha, but mutno, whether you joke, I at it in the house have drunk all, it only has not allowed to finish drinking vinegar.

- And feet at it what?

- Well, a pancake, you as will ask, well, of course, washed.

- And, how it?

- Whether in bed that?

- Well, not on kitchen.

- And I only also remember kitchen, while there that was, and then me have dragged?

- Whether cops that, in nature.

- Not, I speak love, itself have incurred.

- About as, on such and to marry it is possible.

- I also speak love.

- Well, and, do not pull, it has dragged you, in general, and then that?

- CHe you will be born, as if itself you do not know, I to it to sing the beginnings, about geese, sparrows and cranes, and, when drunk and kind about birds I sing.

- And she, type, whether listened that?

- In nature listened, and then as will press.

- In sense, to itself will press.

- Well, love, I speak, natural love. In the morning I awake and whispers, that wishes sober to look at me.

- Well, and you?

- Whether that me you know, at me in cowards rocket installation; was earlier.

- Well, and you to it!

- Eh, you, a reptile, Vovka, I on it to marry I want, and you about my future wife a floor-mat ask me.

- Means, the misfire at you was.

- Well, was, all the same the love if second time to it to go would be desirable.

- By vodka it tried to be treated!

- Month two I am treated, all it before eyes costs, but number of apartment I do not remember.

- Precisely love!

- I for the second day as at home itself has found out the dark blue suit began to search, from which we with you last year have spent on drink trousers.

- And I am exact, I remember, that it behind the battery laid, has slipped there on November holidays.

- Well, type, I have dressed him, body stockings have got on, almost without holes and for the sake of it for work have not gone.

- At you, that hack-work any is!

- Well, yes, the space director, the manager zatak, type, the dealer-kiler and pupyr.

- CHe you drive, as if empties with a beaten neck hand over, same I, bratan, we with you on the same factory sometimes go three years.

- Well, I to it, type so has told, that the dealer-shmyler.

- Have believed or has not believed.

- Well has, of course, believed, time poured.

- And at it not 36 apartment?

- I, speak, I do not remember!

- And our house or opposite.

- Well, nearby any stall was, but I have not remembered it, because money was not.

- Well, though street you remember?

- And street I do not remember!

- You, as in a woman's serial: it there you was searched, and you here with me search for it.

- I, that to you and taldonju, love natural as its manicure I will recollect so with macaroni it would be desirable its cutlets.

- Luis you of Albert present, are a serial were such when rich cry the poor I snuffle chew. Very much there similar with you situations showed. I so with the wife in front of the TV cried.

- And you, che, type, whether are married that else?

- Well it is, of course, married, time the alimony I do not cry. Yesterday to it came, all poor became, even on beer any more does not give.

- And at me, you understand, love as at yours Luis and Alberts, even zharche, well, you across know me.

- And suddenly from you at it now children will be, and you will meet them in thirty years and will begin to cry.

- I will not meet!

- Whether with a condom that was?

- Well, I speak, I will not meet!

- Spiralki at them with pruzhinkami happen, I three times by a youth okorjabalsja.

- Yes is not present, it as it, well, washing rocket installation, in general, further my cowards does not fly.

- And you its Viagra of scarecrows!

- Well, together it vcheras drank!

- Yes not about that I, this such dry, in tablets, it is necessary to chew or swallow, and then to look at rocket installation, to watch, that itself has not departed.

- The boor, you, bratan and as they, these teachers, explain it - the vulgar person you, here, has recollected, and it is good, as sounds, on concepts.

- As you me without a floor-mat pripechatal, and in a teeth to give to you it would be desirable.

- Culture, with it where you want you will trample.

- Yes be at us with you the higher formation, we could so to rise!

- At you institute.

- It at you institute, and at me technical school.

- Well, I also say, that it is possible to rise.

- You, Vit'ka, from the second entrance know.

- Znamo, I know.

- At it only six classes of formation, and it to local bratanam was arranged with the killer! He to me told, that for hundred roubles beats on death of any an iron pipe.

- Tverezyj told!

- Aha, tverezyj told, and then with me on a breast has accepted, took a pipe, and to show became.

- That to show.

- One hands, you understand, the jeep has stopped also the beginnings their pipe in asphalt zakillirovat.

- And you me now other thoughts do not distract, I about it think!

- About as you love!

- I you understand, zyoma, I think what to go I to it then in that dark blue suit, if with trousers, smoothfaced, in socks from shop, with gvozdichkoj and the bottle the life would develop differently.

- You to it for what with the vodka have not gone!

- Well, do not interrupt, would go, inside it would pour out and would go.

- If inside still I will believe.

- She would meet me in a crimson dress, in barefoot persons and with salad from fresh tomatoes.

- Winter!

- Well, do not force down me, let will be from marinaded cucumbers.

- Here now I trust.

- I would look it fool in the face that she to heels has blinked and You would tell to it ' my queen '!

- And cho then it for the first time has not told.

- Yes I and for the first time it to it have told, I so speak to all, and here is not simple so would tell, and with sense, it not snowstorm what, it about love would be spoken!

- If about love I trust, then not snowstorm, and Luis Albert!

- It to me in the answer as will tell that waited for me all life!

- And she to you it has for the first time told?

- Well, likely, has told, time on the next pillow spent the night, but here with love would tell, without beer, you understand?

- Without beer I do not understand!

- Well, if to you to give the whole sea of beer, you have got drunk and any more does not want, and during this moment you suddenly think only of love, understand.

- I do not understand, if one whole sea of beer has not drunk, I would invite friends, you the first would come running to me.

- Well, love, you understand, when still sober, and already, as drunk!

- It when shirevom under an elbow kirneshsja, not saws, and you smile.

- Well, let how shirevom, and she to you invites to dance under silent music, and you do not think, how her to undress, and simply dance.

- I understand it, that before time it is not necessary on rozhon to climb, in the beginning will dance, and then she in a dressing gown will change clothes.

- And so, during this moment it is better than anybody for you is not present, even you, bratan, somewhere one without me kolbasishsja.

- In nature love.

- Here and I say, that it not such as all.

- And give now we will drink up and we will go to search for this your love!

- And I, you think, for it did not search, for last month in three apartments entrance doors has broken, but behind it doing not wash, you understand, well, other women by phone about me there knocked on militia.

- And give tomorrow morning we will rise, we will not drink more and together we will go it to search.

- Tomorrow also we will go!

- And now give for it we will drink, well, speak a suitable toast, bratan.

- It not such, as all!

Alexey VINOGRADOV

EXECUTION

Is better I would die, than so!

Vile this business a heat-spot on a nose tip for six hours good-bye with this man chained in a dark blue suit with tender eyes.

I am unworthy it!

In this heat-spot all my destiny, it should not happen, so it is impossible.

All my set of harmonous charm and kolyhajushchihsja ringlets the red, swelled up a little, any warty heat-spot-invader, ready to spoil to me crowns all life.

Whence you, a reptile?

Well, be not silent, confess.

In five millimetres will be in diameter!

That with a cream - such izvestju not to cover.

To press!

Than to press?

Hands to press!

And what will be squeezed out?

Early to press!

To wait.

And what to wait, by the evening to blue will bulk up, it can a diathesis, on a roll?

Yesterday I more ate nothing.

I should light and start up a smoke through a nose that he has choked also tears!

What is nonsense to smoke when it nobody sees!

This man so has looked to me in nose bridge, that at me behind ears murashki folds have gone.

And I read in ladies' magazine, that, at such man's attention, owe knees slabnut.

Say lies!

I were ready to be bent and jump a spring on it that he has learnt at once - what I.

He should not look to me in nose bridge any more!

Is better I would die, than such heat-spot!

It is possible to go on appointment in karnavalnoj to a mask, in such long, almost to a teeth.

And I will be good - one eyes sparkle!

Left - unapproachable!

Right - tempting!

It is necessary to press urgently a heat-spot, for the present not late!

At, painfully!

And tears choke only.

With a floor-mat it is necessary to try.

Choke, a goat!

And it is inside empty, only on eyes swells.

Already six millimetres, but already in radius as if to me on a nose have come.

It that there on the TV to carry offer, in such on street even from prison not to run out!

In such confused jacket to me in the Underground for five minutes a breast will pinch off!

All fools.

It is necessary to press further!

If not fingers, and fists?

So is even more sick.

It will not come on appointment, such never come, as if right after acquaintances hand over them in a museum of female dream.

And this will by all means come, will see me under a heat-spot, and has bustled to mum.

They always run to mums when do not wish to marry.

Once again fists!

Hurrah, once again hurrah!

All has swelled up.

Nose double where a heat-spot it is not so visible because on its place the whole hill vspuhlo a cemetery of my not taken place love.

I will kill myself earlier, than he will see it!

It is necessary to eat, calm down and count the chances.

All the same that.

Devil's roll, again roll, already stale!

I have not had time to throw out this jam.

And from above coffee if is.

Already is not present.

Vovchik has drunk.

Saws, saws, has not dared to stick to me yet.

Here also has drunk all.

There is a tea.

Well, why muzhiks always ask on coffee and never ask on tea.

From coffee at them, speak, costs longer.

But on my muzhiks it does not extend.

Too it is not enough tea, on one tea leaves.

The girlfriend has blown all.

Will come and sits, as if to it one so it is bad.

Sugar is, well, that there at me.

I the nice thirty-year brown-haired woman with a heat-spot on a nose, with one-room apartment, with the TV and the bed pressed through by muzhiks.

In marriage it was necessary still about five years ago, or tonight.

Already it is more and to press there is nothing, because it has grasped all nose and has artfully turned blue.

In vain I pressed you, if can - forgive.

How many you want, sit on mine to a nose, we with you already will not go anywhere.

I will begin to love, heat, grease you, and you will become again small what you were even in the morning but also then I will not go anywhere. To me it is sick together with you.

The pretty!

Well, release me?

You quietly will sit at home, here in a soft armchair, and I will quickly run to it, I will tell, that is glad, and I will return to you.

And you will jump to me on a nose, and again will become with me.

I you, a reptile, now iodine prizhgu.

That I have made!

All yellow also is already scratched.

It not the main thing in a life, no, not the main thing, it is possible to live and without a nose, it is possible even to marry without a nose, it also is difficult, as well as with a nose but then heat-spots will have no place to live.

Release and?

If to measure by a ruler, nine millimetres, and if a square, five millimetres.

To hell a ruler!

Iodine can be washed off water.

Iodine cannot be washed off water.

Iodine in general anything to wash off it is impossible, but it is possible to cover.

Zelenku it is impossible to cover, but it at me is not present.

To cut down it hleborezom as I it saw in children's cinema!

And can pierce, well as I have not guessed earlier, it is necessary to pierce!

Where to pierce, than to pierce, most to pierce!

Yes for the sake of love though a plug, this you will not miss!

The silly woman I!

Without tea tea leaves does not happen, but in boiled water jam is dissolved and it turns out is sweet.

It is sweet only in a mouth and as soon as it is swallowed too becomes not sweet.

It is not sweet all to me.

Eight millimetres if to measure by a square, and seven millimetres, if a ruler.

To hell a square!

On work already nobody sticks to me. For five years who wanted, that has received, and whom I have not wanted, such all was two - a morel from a sales department and a pod from department on communications.

Well, I cannot begin with all same most the second time. If the man has already visited, where it is necessary to it, he marries only under execution.

It is thought!!!

Under execution.

It is necessary to do it in the morning.

The early!

I ahead of an escort, in majorskih epaulets and made narrower kitele and in that confused jacket in which in the Underground it is impossible, and here just right will be.

And then to build all my were in one rank.

How many them.

Ten, twelve, fifteen.

So.

On a piece of paper, by name, all list.

Nineteen, however, twenty two!

And I yet married?!

So skolkim it is necessary, that for certain.

Twenty third can be released, I there.

The others!

In one rank become, on growth, on age, on names.

Become, as want!

Escort!

It is ready!

What there even at such ceremony to shout it is necessary?

And, your last word!

Not all at once, boys!

I appear such beautiful, that till now cannot forget.

All cannot!

Is though one which can, I will shoot down the first!

All can!

And why have forgotten, waited, when here so I will deduce under rifles, in a jacket, where I all on a kind!

To stand on growth!

Short the first poubivaju!

Itself about the mouse, a horse-radish about the mouse, and all the same, the reptile, from me has left!

I speak to all, to be equaled on a breast of the commander!

Yes, second number, dummies in scattering, all praised.

Look before death.

I such plus separate apartment!

All to be silent, if I cry!

To stand on age!

The old I will not touch, as veterans I will forgive!

Well, that to you lysenky with me it was not laid, a gastritis in a fat cover, for five minute to gunpowder remains, and all on the party has spread, yes I with you and have not terminated never so easier neighbours of shout frightened!

Everything, goats, on knees!

To set aside to shoot, itself I will smother!

Be under construction on names and patronymics!

On a nationality to be under construction it is not necessary, at all the same goat breed.

Be, be, misters, we will shoot now you!

I will spare any who my heat-spot on a nose will not notice.

All have not noticed.

I beautiful!

I surprising!

I unique!

All right, I release, live, if can!

I know, can!

Escort, I order, aim in me.

In a heat-spot, means, in heart.

It now there.

Pli!

3 millimetres, though a ruler, though a square.

Once again!

Aim!

Pli!

2 millimetres, he any more will not notice.

Once again pli!

I the most beautiful!

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