The woman at the wheel:))

THE BOOK OF SEXUAL REVELATIONS

(Alexey Vinogradov, the journalist, conducted ten years a marriage heading in the newspaper)

THAN DIFFERS TO "FEEL" FROM TO "TOUCH"

*... In my opinion, feel chickens, and touch - girls. In it all difference (the woman, 40 years).

*... To feel - I think, that it is gentle also at night, in darkness, and to touch - in the afternoon, at all fair people, is rough (the woman, 43 years).

*... I consider what to feel and touch one and too, only looking as it occurs. If to the person it is pleasant - he speaks "feel", and if it is not pleasant - that speak "touch" (the woman, 47 years.

*... A word to "feel" is means to feel something inanimate, for example a thing, a material. A word to "touch" - to touch someone animated (the woman, 46 years).

*... Feel something thin and graceful, and touch - something thick and elastic (the woman, 40 years).

*... To touch is when to the girl unpleasantly, and to feel - when to her it would be desirable. Really not clearly (the girl, 18 years).

*... The doctor feels, and the impudent person (the woman, 42 years) touches.

*... Looking who will feel and touch (the woman, 45 years).

*... Feel a thing, and the drunk muzhik touches the woman (the woman, 25 years).

*... To feel it it is pleasant, and to touch it it is sick (the girl, 14 years).

*... Feel feelers, and touch paws (the girl, 17 years).

*... To feel - sedately, consistently to feel, and to touch - to suffice on the move, rough movements (the woman, 30 years).

*... To touch - indeed to touch. Well present: approaches to you drunk obrazina in a disco and for back as..., here it, probably, also is to touch. And feel, probably, so silently, slightly tenderly, even can be and from the permission (the girl, 25 years).

*... To feel, from a word "shchepot". Tips of fingers in a small group that is to undertake something shchepotju, tips of fingers. And to touch - from a word "paw", that is a palm. To put to something all palm, a hand (the woman, 40 years).

*... Touch roughly, and feel stealthily, with some share of shyness (the woman, 40 years).

*... At shchupanii, playful hands slide in accessible places, and at lapanii - on intimate (the woman, 40 years).

*... Feel to define that this and what it, for example, a part of a man's or female body. Touch that is already defined: it is known, where is. Or to check up: whether all there is perfectly in order. And generally, what difference? That and another is pleasant (the girl, 19 years).

*... Now are not able to touch. Here touched earlier, already spirit grasped. To feel was considered indecent, humiliating supposedly he neglects the woman, therefore only slightly it gropes. Was more fair lapnut for the grown fond place: to seize it and a little bit to squeeze, that the woman could feel force of a hand (the woman, 62 years).

*... To feel is to touch something, wishing to understand that it and to touch - roughly to feel (the girl, 22 years).

*... To feel it is possible only under a skirt, and to touch it is possible above a skirt (the girl, 17 years).

*... Concepts to feel and touch concern only men. Touch more rough, and feel - legible (the woman, 45 years).

*... To feel - when it is not assured, and to touch - when have already resolved (the man, 20 years).

*... Feel for a breast, and touch for the priest (the guy, 19 years).

*... From my point of view to touch is a rough form of contact to someone at which you do not receive emotional satisfaction. Concept to "feel" is a desire to feel external forms. And the further course of events can depend on results of palpation (the man, 36 years).

*... Differs the area felt and lapaemogo (the guy, 17 years).

*... I consider so what to feel is when something touch. And to touch is when carelessly feel, that is inaccurately touch (the guy, 20 years).

*... To feel the dress on the woman is possible, and to touch - only the woman (the man, 60 years).

*... All depends on pressing a palm: if it hardly concerns a female body is shchupane and when it strongly presses close to the woman is lapane. The last is much more pleasant, because the man starts to hope, that now to it will break off. From it it is even more touched, and forgets about shchupane (the man, 24 years).

*... Than the woman is more younger - especially it touch, and the it is more senior - the more it feel to solve - whether it is necessary to you (the man, 32 years).

*... The girl can and be felt and touched, and another's only to touch, differently it will be pulled out and will escape (the man, 18 years).

*... If the girl whom you have touched, cut to you on a muzzle or was abused by a floor-mat you touched it. And if it zamurlykaet then - you have felt it. It is very easily defined (the guy, 21 year).

*... To tell the truth, I do not know: than differs to feel from to touch. I simply iron them (the man, 28 years).

*... To answer your question, I have glanced in the ancient dictionary. There to "feel" is to search and rummage, and to "touch" is to search, rummage and feel. Means to "touch" is more diligent "shchupanie" at which you try to rummage around everywhere and all to find (the man, 39 years).

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

SOVIET SKAZOCHKI

(About that, children heard by Russians in the far childhood from the parents) whence undertake.

These are endurances of their questionnaires where already adult people recollected avaricious "the children's truth".

1. Us bought in shop:

*... Mum has told to me, that they with the daddy went shopping and suddenly in one they have seen on a show-window pretty, the little girl. It so was pleasant to them, that parents have wanted it to buy. So I was born...

*... Me have bought in shop as I was the most beautiful...

*... Have found in shop "Children's world" in department of soft toys...

*... Mum always answered, that does not remember, what prices for small children then were. Probably, small because in our family was five children...

2. Us found on a kitchen garden:

*... I, as well as many other things, have been simply found among heads of cabbage...

*... Me have found on a potato the dirty boy. I to the very first class tried to find in a cellar in a potato to myself the little sister...

*... In a kitchen garden have found any special sunflower seed. Mum has eaten it and has grown up me...

3. Us selected in wood and on a bog:

*... My parents have gone to wood behind mushrooms and have lost the way. Left on a clearing and have seen a box, and in that box the chest baby laid. Eyes big, cheeks chubby. Such baby has very much liked mum and the daddy, and took they it home...

*... When went behind a cranberry the daddy has found me under a marsh hummock. I was in size with big kljukovku...

*... Under New year the daddy has followed a fur-tree and has seen me in wood - under a tree. It together with a fur-tree has brought me home...

*... The grandma-midwife has picked up in canes on lake and has given to wear to my parents. I have liked them, and they have left me for ever...

4. We were brought by wild birds:

*... Mother to me told, that I was brought by a stork though the arrival of a stork was promoted by the father...

*... Me have selected at a raven which steal children in tropical countries...

*... I hatched from sparrow jaichka, and sister - from snegirinogo jaichka. Therefore at us on a body different features grow: at sister one, and at me others...

5. Us did of an improvised material:

*... In a family us was four. Well, and where it is a lot of children, there always noise and bedlam. We play about, we rustle, we fight. And the father often in hearts liked to repeat: "Here vytesal I you on the head". I knew and that children are brought in beaks by storks, and in cabbage find, and in wood under a fur-tree. But here personally me the daddy vytesal from a log, as Buratino...

*... Us with sister, and we twins, have pulled out from a well when went behind water. At first sister, and then and me. Have turned in a sheepskin coat and have brought home...

*... Parents have made me of the special test...

*... When parents have moved on new apartment and began to sweep a floor have found a small larva. Have put it in a glass with water and often changed water. So I also have grown up...

6. Us have borrowed in hospital:

*... The daddy with my mum behaved very well, therefore it have presented in hospital the girl and the boy...

*... To me said, that mum with the daddy have very gently and strongly thought, that the girl is necessary to them, and I have appeared in a mum's tummy. Small-small. And then a tummy cut and have got me. I looked at a mum's scar from an appendicitis and trusted...

*... Mum told, that me took from a mum's tummy but as I there have got, mum and itself did not know...

*... The daddy said, that children appear from kisses, and mum said, that they with the daddy have a little played and have followed me in hospital. To the very first or second class I was afraid to play with boys that it was not necessary to go to hospital for the child...

7. Us tore up for the truth, as sidorovyh goats:

*... I have reached before from broshjurki "Hygiene of marriage". I was 9 years old...

*... Till six years I lived in a family hostel, therefore all saw itself and did not set silly questions. At five years' age I have asked for parents the little sister and have prompted, that it is necessary for it to do. The daddy and mum have not obeyed me and have torn out me a belt. So I and dews one child in a family...

*... I spied upon elder sister when to it its guy came. I will hide behind a curtain and I look. But in four years I not from this have understood all and have asked mum. For it me have cut, and to sister have given a clip...

*... I trusted about cabbage to the third class, and then on peremenke to me all my schoolmates have told. I have come home and have decided to argue with mum on this question. Conversation was short, and here poroli me long. In the beginning mum, and then from work the daddy has come also.... When he me porol, I shouted, that let it will be in a their way. Let I was born in cabbage. Then the father has laughed loudly and has thrown a belt...

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

OF WHAT WOMEN WHEN MAKE LOVE THINK

According to results of the questioning spent by Russian independent statistical agency, it was possible to establish, that 24 percent from among the interrogated Russians constantly sing, when are engaged in the severe Russian love, and 67 more percent of women - sing thus off and on, and, 4 percent - sing aloud. And to illustrate this statistics, the most typical endurances from these questionnaires are more low resulted:

... When I have sex, in a head at me the line of any song, often, absolutely foolish and improper to the moment usually turns...

... If it is strongly drunk, I sing hymns...

*12 percent of Russian women cry and laugh at employment by love or think about something good:

... I am given to this feeling completely, sometimes to crying, sometimes I laugh. It even forces down the partner...

... Usually of what I do not think, and late to think - time has agreed...

... I think about pleasant as it is impossible to think at this time, for example, that at you now on a summer residence koloradsky a bug hrjapaet a potato...

*73 percent from among the interrogated women think at this time of the partner:

... Why he names me Svetoj Iroj, it will be necessary to it to make scandal, but then, now I will not force down it from a rhythm...

... As he ridiculously tries...

... With the favourite I think - why so a little, with unloved - more likely it would terminate and was cleaned to itself home...

... Again not that...

... What at it small...

... Well I also have got drunk today...

... How his name is?...

... What it the lovely, strong and excellent lover. How to impress it favourably - loudly to shout, or how waters in a mouth to type? It I will do by turns...

... eh, I will fly...

... I will not release it...

... Likely, in marriage will call, time the fifth time of the darling named...

... Not that speed...

... A pancake, seem, hulks has begun to flow...

*48 percent of women even during love think, than then to feed the man:

... When I make love, always I think, than I then will feed such zverjugu. It is good! From such with simple soup you will not pay off...

... It would be necessary to expose forcemeat to be defrozen...

*14 percent of women at sex abuse the men:

... My spouse is similar to the commando. Its love is similar to a short free-fall jump, and then it jumps out from me with the rubber parachute and a corpse falls nearby supposedly have killed him already and more to it do not stick...

... I close eyes not to see the husband, and I think, that I with the lover. Once has tried on the contrary: thought of the husband when was with the lover. So it then me it is sympathising has asked: "That, at you someone has died?"...

*А the text addition to the questionnaire of the 60-year-old woman which, making love, all life thought only of one was the most amusing: "If only war was not"... It has helped to grow up to it of four children from three husbands...

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

OF WHAT MEN WHEN MAKE LOVE THINK

According to results of the questioning spent by Russian independent statistical agency, it was possible to establish, that 92 percent of the Russian men, making love, think only of that, as though as it is possible to hold longer in pressure the man's advantage. And to illustrate this statistics, the most typical endurances from these questionnaires are more low resulted:

... When I make love to the wife, and I would like to prolong pleasure I think: about the melancholy work or about apartment repair what to paint or beat. Here so at me 15 minutes of pure sex turn out. And with the young girl I, unfortunately, finish faster (5-10 minutes), therefore it is necessary to recollect more opposite things at this time. Once, for example, I kept myself from orgazma that represented as I kiss the neighbour's old woman. On it I managed to put 30 minute record...

... I think of the stranger, and to other men I advise so to arrive. It is easier not to finish longer...

*4 percent of men think at this time of that woman from whom lay in bed:

... When I make love, I try to look at this woman and to think of that, as though it has more to deliver pleasures as still it to turn, or to increase speed...

... Will bite off - will not bite off...

... I think, well and the horse has got to me...

*83 percent of men this minute think of other woman, instead of with that, with which they now:

... When I make love, constantly I compare the woman to the former mistresses: in the beginning outwardly, and then and inside...

... I recollect the adventures that all it to alter and with this girl-friend...

... I mentally consider, how many girls were better than this...

*Лишь 1 percent of men, making love, think of quality of performed work:

... What at me big...

... When I have sex, I think: who from today's my little girls would need to be reduced for the sake of this...

... Whether well I do this business, I think of it even on those women with whom I know, that it in first and last time...

... I of what do not think at this time, I the officer...

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

THE DICTIONARY OF LOVE RELATIONS

Once the collective letter has come to edition from students of one of local educational institutions, it was more exact not the letter, and the whole writing-book with the manuscript of the dictionary of love relations. In this fragment we offers the version of students as well as how it is possible to make love, and in brackets comments are placed:

On-bozheski (with a condom), fraternally (blue love), it is superficial (it was pulled out), on returning (from army or prison), whenever possible (love to a floor of impotent men), on voroni (in inconvenient position or a place), it is temporary (love with girls from leisure), everywhere (love maloletok), in an any way (under the directory for a newly-married couple), in a Georgian way (is sick and without comments), on-damski (as she wants), in a rural way (as it will turn out), long (more than five minutes), in another way (instead of sex has gone for work), on friendly (well costs to you), successively (has drunk, has had a snack, has persuaded), on-zhabi (when not ohajut, and croak), on-zamorski (sex on business trip), on-matrosski (has told lies more than has caressed), on-bear (with traumas), on-monasheski (mentally), on-bird's (very quickly), on-fish (being silent), in a beastly way (without a condom), like a dog (porugalis-polajalis, But have all the same reconciled and have agreed) in a Soviet way (constantly promising to marry), on-soldatski (in a dream), in a neighbour's way (cautiously and ogljadkoj), on-veal (it for the first time), in a duck way (it for the first time), in French (love in a raspberry), on-shvedski (love in a gooseberry), on-human (all other ways).

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

HOW TO DISTINGUISH CHANGE OF THE HUSBAND

Or that women speak about it

1. It is possible to sniff at the man:

... At the incorrect spouse of a hand and a neck smell as another's spirits, a cream, a deodorant or other cosmetics...

... My husband is given out by shirts. It of high growth, and it prokljatushchie women like to rub muzzles about its breast...

... In moustaches at the husband remains not only morning fried eggs, but also an evening smell of another's lipstick...

2. It can be searched:

... Under the pretext of sudden washing it is necessary to examine pockets somewhere the progadding spouse...

3. And even to drown in a bath:

... I type a full bathroom of water and I lower there man's creation (man). If its sex on the letter "I" floats, means, it from work and if sink it is change...

... On the husband has decided to check up this ancient grandmother's method when in a trough it is necessary to heat intimate man's advantage. I wetted the husband before we made love, and after that. Well, and so, it that sinks, emerges, sinks, emerges. I and have not understood...

4. Well to look, in what he puts on:

... If my husband looks at a collar of the shirt - dirty it or not, means, it to any woman was soaped...

... When it somewhere gathers, I look - what he pants will put on...

... I especially to a trace for the husband when it for some reason will unexpectedly wash up a head...

5. Or to force it to execute matrimonial duties:

... I learn at once, whether my spouse is true to me or not. If it comes home late I to it suggest to have supper, and then I force to be engaged with me love. I start it to caress and embrace, and on its reaction, easily I define - whether there was it with other woman or remained sexually hungry...

... I was engaged with it in love after its each long absence, and only a year later have learnt about its changes and the mistress. It coped with both of us...

6. Some wives try to set the spouse on the best girlfriend:

... I have asked to check up the girlfriend fidelity of my husband, and she what for with it has really overslept...

7. But it is better to rely on intuition:

... He in another way looks, speaks, in another way makes love...

... It starts to be justified hotly about the delays in the evenings...

8. And however, than a goat do not feed:

... From the first husband I have left because of changes, from the second - because of changes, and now I live with the third which to me too changes, but I already suffer. Is better I would suffer changes with the first husband - the muzhik was gold. The third husband is much worse...

... I help the husband to hide from me suspicious proofs. Very amusing employment. Sometimes I manage to look the full little fool and then the husband becomes such attentive, such gentle and passionate, that I am afraid: suddenly it will leave from the mistress and becomes again rough and irritable under the relation to me...

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

THE BASIC INSTINCT

Or as it is often necessary to change man's socks

*... Socks need to be changed every day ' that did not smell ' and if reluctance them every day to change and erase ' that it is necessary to go in general without socks (the girl ' 15 years).

*... Man's socks need to be changed daily ' because the smell of sweat does not raise girls (the girl ' 17 years).

*... I already some times had to refuse to the man in intimate affinity because of not stiranyh socks and dirty feet. At me any desire to have sex with the smelly gentleman (the girl, 20 years) vanishes.

*... If the man - a goat ' that it is necessary to change socks as it is possible is more often (the woman ' 24 years).

*... I resulted once the extraneous man in the house ' when my husband worked in a night shift. And then all night long dispersed on apartment the remained man's smells: here as spirit and tobacco already like also did not smell ' and of goat socks stank ' it seemed ' even a week after that appointments. It is good, that else my husband has not got wind (the woman ' 25 years).

*... I think, that man's socks need to be changed every day during the summer period and in day - during the winter period (the girl ' 18 years).

*... I live in a female hostel and when to my girlfriend its guy I escape comes to oversleep to spend the night to neighbours. Not with shame - neigbours too have sex. I escape from its socks. Quite something! it ' likely ' changes them once a year (the girl ' 20 years).

*... It is necessary to change, who with it argues ' as it is possible is more often. Not less often than once a week (the woman, 54 years).

*... The smell man's not stiranyh socks is as a fatherland smoke. Where from it you will get to?! (The woman ' 37 years).

*... Intelligent men change socks almost every day, and workers - 1-2 times a week. Judging by my relatives, peasants change socks of times in a month (the woman ' 31 year).

*... On my erotic supervision ' I have noticed interesting law: the the man more low growth, the it changes socks is more often and watches itself, and high men consider ' as so will descend. I can ' on the high I slander, at me them was not too much ' and about small men is assured: they often change socks and is much tidier (the woman ' than 30 years).

*... I consider, that socks should be changed every day. I change them in day as I dress them only for work and from work, and on work I go to others - workers whom too I change ' but is much more rare (the man ' than 35 years).

*... If the normal and healthy man ' I consider, that socks to change it is possible once a week ' except politicians and actors (the man ' 55 years).

*... I change socks from banki to banki (the man ' 59 years).

*... I change socks if they start to stick to a foot, and by a smell to be guided is useless. The smell does not stink, and the decent woman will sustain a smell of any man's socks if only in them there was a man decent. And as to dishonourable women they catch a smell of your socks while you you you will not make it expensively a gift (the man, 47 years).

*... In the beginning it is necessary to learn ' as often we wash feet? (The man ' 25 years).

*... And man's socks, as well as female shorts ' need to be changed every day. I so think (the woman ' 38 years).

*... Has thought up a unique way osvezhenija socks. I throw very dirty sock under a case and let it there lays weeks two ' the stench then it even can be worn day three will not disappear yet. But after that double "ponoshenija" it is necessary to erase necessarily ' differently there will be any not removed even washing a smell (the man ' 25 years).

*... I always learn on socks of the good person if socks dirty are a working person who has no time to be engaged in such trifles and if at it pure socks - that it the idler, only and thinking with whom to it to oversleep (the woman, 51 year).

*... To the girl it is possible to go only in fresh socks that she did not screw up the face (the guy ' 22 years).

*... Muzhiks! As it is possible change socks is more often - your future depends on them (the guy ' 20 years).

*... It does not depend on time socks of socks ' and from a smell of a concrete sock. If the smell of socks is audible from distance (between a nose and a sock) to 20 centimetres, socks pure. If the smell is felt from distance of 20-50 sm - it is possible to carry socks still couple of days. If smell from metre such socks can be dressed just once. Badly ' when socks smell from distance of more than two-three metres - it is necessary to erase immediately (the man ' 35 years).

*... Dirty man's socks for any woman is a basic instinct. If they are opposite to it, it not its man. And if to it all the same as they stink - it is enamoured (the woman, 33 years).

We have counted up on 911 notes and questionnaires ' that the majority of men from 18 till 28 years is changed by socks once in three days ' from 29 till 48 years - change every day or in day ' men are more senior 49 years change socks of times in a week or time in two weeks.

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

FEMALE ESSENCE

Was afraid, that will not come.

Was afraid, that will come.

Was afraid, that will stick.

Was afraid, that will not stick.

And it has come and has stuck.

And she was afraid of nothing.

Alexey VINOGRADOV.

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