Glossary of Relationship Terms

Marriage, Love Relationships

& Polykoity

By

Norman Elliott Anderson

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Table of Contents
Introduction
- A -	- H -	O	U
- B -	- I -	- P -	- V -
- C -	J	Q	W
- D -	K	- R -	X
- E -	- L -	- S-Si -	Y
F	- M -	- Sk-Sz -	Z
- G -	- N -	- T -	©
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Gaelic terms:

See leannan, leannan sidhe, old wife (sheana bhan).

gaga:

See go gaga over.

gage d'amour:

"Pledge of love": a present to a beloved, typically jewelry.

Comment: "Gage" is masculine, so "un gage d'amour" ("a pledge of love").

Compare and contrast "gage d'amitié" ("token of friendship").

See also amour, anniversary, love coupon, love token, token of affection, Valentine.

x French terms.

gai saber (Occitan term):

See joyous craft.

galapropism:

Calling a woman, especially a woman one has just bedded, by the wrong name.

Comment: A made-up portmanteau word: girl or "gal" + malapropism. Conceivably the sense of the word could be broadened by understanding it to be composed of either girl or guy + malaproprism, with this resulting definition: Calling a person one has just bedded by the wrong name.

Source: The Pseudodictionary, hence a proposed neologism. I don't find there a comparable suggestion for calling a guy by the wrong name.

See also ghosts of relationships past, re-naming, term of endearment.

Galatea effect:

See Pygmalion effect.

gallant:

1. A fashionable person.

2. A gentleman, especially one who enjoys the fine pleasures of life; a dandy.

3. A ladies' man.

4. A male lover; a woman's paramour.

5. A male visitor of prostitutes; a john.

For lexical example, see under "run astray."

See also agapet, cavaliere servante, cicisbeo, cornutor, crumpet man, femme galante, gay deceiver, gay spark, gentleman caller, gentleman friend, jock, ladies' man, leman, lover, masher, other man, paramour, partner, rover, sex partner, stud, Sunday husband, vert galant, womanizer.

gamacal:

See gamical.

gametophobia:

See gamophobia.

gameô (Greek):

See "neither marry, nor are given in marriage."

game of love:

Sexual pursuit and dalliance being spoken of in the imagery of sport.

See also greatest game, joc d'amor, love.

A Postcard Illustrating Love as a Game

<Picture of postcard not yet posted..>

Linen romantic "post card," in landscape format and cartoon style, showing a woman being held by a man on a bench in the light of a crescent moon; with caption: "Love is the | only game | played on a | bench - | and never | called on account | of darkness" (Chicago: Curt Teich, [1955]). Coded on the front 5C-H5 and thus to be dated 1955. ("C" stands for the 1950s, "5" for the particular year, per VintagePostcards.org.) Also numbered on the front C-837. "Genuine Curteich-Chicago 'C. T. Art-Colortone' post card." From the author's collection, scanned <on such and such a date>.

games:

See adult game, bishōjo game, dating sim, doused lights, footsy, freebie list, "He loves me, he loves me not," hootchy-cootchy game, Jack and Jill party, key game, measuring contest, musical dogging, musical laps, neoromance, otome game, scuttle, stranger sex, toe party.

-gamia:

See -gamy.

gamical, or gamacal:

1. Of or pertaining to a marriage; marital (q.v.).

2. Of or pertaining to a husband's headship.

See also androcracy, conjugal, connubial, "head of the wife," husband, hymeneal, manus, marriage, matrimonial, nuptial, patriarchal, spousal.

gamizô (Greek):

See "neither marry, nor are given in marriage."

gamomania:

A compulsive urge to make proposals of marriage even when they're ridiculous.

See also declaration, offer of marriage, proposal.

gamophobia:

A powerful aversion to becoming married.

Alternative spelling: gametophobia. However, I would take that as an aversion to gametes.

See also commitmentphobia, erotophobia, misogamy, -phobia.

-gamy; adjective, -gamous or -gamic; practitioner, -gamist:

The part of a word formation that means marriage (q.v.), sexual union, or the joining of gametes. Thus, among typical meanings:

1. Marriage of the type specified by the rest of the word formation.

2. The means of fertilization indicated by the rest of the word formation.

Comments: This combining form is derived from the Greek word, gamos. Sometimes "-gamia" is used instead of "-gamy."

Note well: Some of the gamical terms herein ending in "-gamy" have also one or more botanical meanings.

See also adelphogamy, agamy, alphamegamia, -amory, anilogamy, anilojuvenogamy, anisonogamia, bigamy, cagamosis, cenogamy, deuterogamy, digamy, duogamy, endogamy, epigamy, exogamy, dysonogamia, gerontogamy, heterogamosis, heterogamy, hierogamy, homogamy, hypergamy, hypogamy, idiogamy, isonogamia, klepsigamy, koitogamy, matrogamy, misogamy, monogamy, myriadigamy, nomogamosis, nonogamy, oligamy, omnigamy, opsigamy, pangamy, pantagamy, polygamy, polygyny, quadrigamist, sexogamy, synergamy, telegamy, theogamy, thugatrogamy, trigamy, triogamy, xenogamy.

x Greek terms.

gander:

See "goose and gander" theory, "What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."

gang bang:

Two or more people engaging in sexual intercourse with an individual in the course of a single session.

Comment: The term is often used as a synonym for group sex, but when a distinction is in order, as between a gang bang and a Mongolian Cluster, the gang bang would be sequential and the Mongolian cluster simultaneous.

See also bunga bunga, group sex.

gang rape:

1. An act committed by two or more persons of forcing sexual activity upon a nonconsenting person or of coercing a nonconsenting person to engage in sexual activity.

2. Coerced genital or anal contact with two or more persons, especially where there is oral, vaginal, or anal penetration.

3. The perpetration of non-defensive violence by two or more individuals against another person in a way that involves genital or anal contact.

Contrast group sex (q.v.). See also bunga bunga, fraternity rape, party rape, rape.

garage time:

A post-breakup period for a guy, when he needs to do manly activities and not be involved in the dating scene or another love relationship; the period after a breakup when a guy needs to be single and just himself for a while.

See also breakup, in limbo, love withdrawal, post break-up funk, relationship obit.

gay, as in "a gay":

A homosexual. The term is often used to refer specifically to male homosexuals, as in "gays and lesbians."

Comment: Although use of the term in the plural is common, its use in the singular is far less so.

See also gay (adjective), GBFF, homosexual, sexual minority.

gay, as in "gay community":

1. Erotically oriented primarily to one or more members of the same sex as oneself. The term is often used to refer specifically to males, as in "gay and lesbian."

2. Pertaining to sexual relations between members of the same sex, particularly males when distinguished from lesbians, as in the phrase "gay and lesbian."

See also come out, donas amizu, double mono, ex-ex-gay, ex-gay, fauxmosexual, gay (noun), gay bar, gaydar, gay lifestyle, gay male, gay marriage, GUG, homosexual, lesbian, lgbt, mixed-orientation marriage, monosexual, queer.

gay-A:

A homo-asexual (q.v.).

See also asexual, homosexual.

gay bar:

A commercial establishment with a counter at which beverages, especially alcoholic beverages, and, in some cases, food are served that caters to or is at least frequented by people with a sexual orientation to members of the same sex. Some such establishments cater to gay men, some to lesbians, some to both; and they often serve as pick-up joints.

Comment: Also called a gay club, a gay pub, or a queer bar. One that caters to women is sometimes called a dyke bar, a lesbian bar, or a lesbian pub. One that caters to men is sometimes called a boy bar. "Pub" is the British equivalent of the American word "bar."

See also attraction venue, dating plan, gay, internat, meat market, pick-up joint.

x bar. 

x boy bar.

x dyke bar.

x gay club.

x gay pub.

x lesbian bar.

x lesbian pub.

x queer bar.

gay club:

See gay bar.

gay curious, or gay-curious:

Characterized by the exploration or the wish to explore one's own internal responses to homosexuality; characterized by the attempt to determine the extent of one's own attraction to members of the same sex.

See also bicurious, -curious, homosexual, lgbt.

gaydar:

1. The ability to distinguish homosexuals from heterosexuals, especially in non-sexual settings; the partly intuitive, partly cultivated ability to spot gays, lesbians., and bisexuals.

2. The specially attuned ability some gays have to spot other gays.

Comment: A portmanteau word: gay + radar.

See also bibe, bisexual, gay, lesbian, limbic resonance, playdar.

x -dar.

x radar.

gay deceiver:

1. A seducer; a person who employs lies, fakery, or other tricks in order to persuade someone to yield sexually, especially a man who entices a woman into a dalliance with sweet words and promises only to break the promises casually and move on to other women.

2. A woman's fake breast or breast enhancement.

See also agapet, cad, Casanova, crumpet man, Don Juan, false lover, fribbler, gallant, gay spark, Lothario, lovertine, macadam, macadamo, operator, philanderer, pick up artist, rake, roué, seducer, seductress, serial philandering, shark, Valentino, womanizer, woo for cake and pudding.

gay dog:

1. A licentious or self-indulgent person, generally said of a man.

2. A canine that prefers to mate with members of its own sex.

See also licentious.

gay-friendly:

1. Supportive of persons with a same-sex sexual orientation without being one.

2. Tolerant or supportive of persons with a same-sex sexual orientation.

3. Being friends with somebody one knows to have a same-sex sexual orientation without trying to turn that person away from said orientation.

4. Being neither hostile to homosexuality nor inclined to cast it in a bad light.

See also fag hag, -friendly, GBFF, lgbt-friendly, polyfriendly, straight ally.

gay lifestyle:

1. Whatever lifestyle a person who identifies as gay happens to lead, which may have no distinctive difference from that of anyone else except, perhaps, for the homosexual component.

2. Participation in a gay marriage or domestic partnership.

3. A highly charged term used largely by opponents of homosexuality to indicate a way of life, mostly on the part of what some believe to be a high proportion of gay males, characterized by numerous sexual partners of the same sex and the search for ever more, especially as compounded by one or more of the following:

• sexual behavior that risks exposure to diseases like hepatitis and AIDS;
• frequent association with elements of the gay subculture, such as gay bars and bath houses; and,
• encroachment (note the pejorativeness) upon the public of pro-homosexuality attitudes, for instance, through gay pride parades, or just being "out" as actively gay.

Some might add:

• enticement of minors to engage in homosexual practices.

4. A collective or overlapping combination of any of the above.

For a cautionary comment, see under "lifestyle."

See also alternative lifestyle, bisexuality, circuit party, domestic partnership, gay, gay marriage, homosexuality, homosexual marriage, lesbianism, lifestyle, lovestyle, pederast, promiscuity, same-sex marriage, slutstyle, slutstyle, step out.

gay male, or gay man:

1. A person of the male sex whose primary sexual preference is for one or more other persons of the same sex.

2. A person of the male sex who pleasurably engages in sexual activity principally with one or more other persons of the same sex.

Comment: Sometimes "gay" is used to mean "gay male," as in the phrase, "gay and lesbian."

See also active-passive split, arsenokoitês, bitch, catamite, chicken party, cinaedus, gay, gugusse, gunsel, homosexual, huzbear, ingle, lesbian, malakos, male couple, man-boy love, pathic, pederast, pornos, sodomite.

x gay man.

gay man:

See gay male.

gay marriage:

1. An ongoing commitment of persons of the same sex to each other to be bonded sexually and to be loyal one to the other. Typically the social patterns for heterosexual marriage are followed as much as possible, such that the marriage is solemnized in a public ceremony (even if the marriage is not recognized by law), a domicile is shared, property is pooled, and monogamy is the expectation. Furthermore, additional arrangements are often made for matters that the law has taken care of for heterosexual but not gay marriages, such as next-of-kin status and the disposition of property in the event of separation or death.

2. An ongoing commitment of human males to each other to be bonded sexually and to be loyal one to the other.

Comment: Regarding marriage between people of the same sex as a constitutional right in Massachusetts, see the decision of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health (November 18, 2003).

See also Boston marriage, civil marriage, civil union, counterfeit bride, counterfeit bridegroom, daddy/boy relationship, domestic partnership, equal marriage, female marriage, gay, gay lifestyle, homosexual marriage, illegitmate spouse, male marriage, marriage, same-sex marriage, she-troth.

gay ministry:

One or more religious programs designed for people with a same-sex sexual orientation. Typically such programs include welcome and acceptance, group meetings, exploration of the relation of same-sex sexual orientation to faith and to the mission of the congregation, discussion of personal issues arising from same-sex sexual orientation, access to gay-friendly counseling, spiritual and emotional support, and social activities.

Comment: Also called "ministry to gays and lesbians."

Sometimes the focus is on those who are in "covenanted relationships."

Contrast ex-gay ministry (q.v.) and transformational ministry (q.v.).

x ministry.

x ministry to gays and lesbians.

gay pub:

See gay bar.

gay relationship:

A love relationship (q.v.) between individuals of the same sex, often more specifically, between males.

See also homosexual relationship, lesbian relationship, relationship.

gay spark:

1. A woman of vitality noted for beauty, elegance, or wit.

2. A man with many mistresses; a womanizer.

3. Capitalized, an appellation for Henry IV of France (1589-1610), who had, it is said, 56 mistresses.

Comment: Often translates the French, vert galant, that is, "vigorous ladies' man." Regarding the vert (often translated "green"), note the English proverb, "All is gay that is green."

The term "gay spark" is sometimes appropriated, by way of word play, to apply to gays; but as yet I have discerned no fixed meaning, unless it is along the lines of "a lively homosexuality," here the word "spark" rather than the word "gay" representing the liveliness.

See also agapet, crumpet man, gallant, gay deceiver, general lover, homosexuality, jock, ladies' man, Lady Jane, masher, rover, spark, stud, vert galant, womanizer.

GBFF:

Gay best friend forever.

Comment: Often used by a heterosexual person of a homosexual friend of a different sex.

See also beard, bff, fag hag, friend, gay, gay-friendly.

geek auction:

See charity slave auction.

geek-flirt:

1. To show sexual or romantic interest in a person by sharing with that person nifty facts; to employ braininess as a possible entrée into a sexual relationship.

2. To express sexual or romantic interest in a person by directly and rationally expressing that interest.

See also cyberflirt, flirt, geek love.

geek love:

1. Romantic feelings between intellectuals whom some others consider socially inept, or such feelings on the part of one of them.

2. Carnival romance that entails oddities or bizarreness on display to others.

See also geek-flirt, love, romance.

gelos (Occitan):

"Jealous one."

See also jealous.

x Occitan terms.

Quotations from Meg Bogin, the first from her translation of the Countess of Dia (born circa 1140), Illustrating "Gelos"
[In the original Occitan (or Provençal)]: E vos, gelos mal parkan, no.s cuges que m'an tarzan, que iois e iovenz no.m plaia, per tal que dols vos deschaia.
[In Bogin's translation]: And you, gossiping gelos, don't think I'm going to hang around, or that joy and youth don't please me: beware, or grief will bring you low.
[Bogin's footnote explaining the term]: Gelos is almost always used in Provençal to designate the jealous husband, an indispensable third party to any properly conducted courtly liaison.
From: The Women Troubadours, [by] Meg [i.e. Magda] Bogin (New York: W. W. Norton, 1980): p. 90, text, and 91, translation and footnote. Originally published: New York: Paddington Press, c1976.

gemütlich intimacy (first word, German):

"Comfortable intimacy": coziness with another, especially as observed and suggestive of an easy compatibility, a well-established friendship, shared suffering, or yet greater intimacy in private.

See also intimacy.

x German terms.

Quotation from John Updike Illustrating "Gemütlich Intimacy"
He [Piet] left her [Georgene] with no doubt that he would not come again soon, blaming [his wife] Angela's suspiciously gemütlich intimacy with [her husband] Freddy, Freddy's threatening manner lately, Piet's strained relations with [his business partner] Gallagher and increased work load, Georgene's own well-being -- surely the essence of an affair was mutual independence, and Georgene had sinned, endangering herself, by becoming dependent.
From the novel: Couples, [by] John Updike (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1968; "A Borzoi Book"): p. 266.

gender:

1. Both one of the categories and an element of grammatical inflection in some languages, in many Indo-European languages there typically being three categories called a gender: masculine, feminine, and neuter. Gender in this sense is sometimes called grammatical gender, especially when differentiation from natural gender is needed.¹ Where forced beyond easy associations with natural gender, it is sometimes called imaginary gender.²

2. The sex indicated per the aspect of language and of language usage that identifies a sex when sex is irrelevant -- for instance, the choice of "stewardess" instead of "flight attendant" -- or that designates, as a figure of speech, a sex for something that is unsexed (even if considered relevant), as when the pronoun "she" is used for a ship.

3. A sex -- ordinarily, with regard to human beings, either male or female, there being some gradation between them once called hermaphrodite and now intersex and there also being some full or partial negation, as in the case of eunuchs -- according to socially or medically determined biological criteria having to do with, in general if not always individual and universal terms, the propagation of the species. Gender in this sense is sometimes called natural gender or sex-gender, especially when differentiation from grammatical gender is needed.¹

4. A set of traits, quite apart from matters of actual reproduction, typically associated by a given culture with one sex or another or that are used in designating a variety of sexes without necessary reference to the propagation of the species.

Comment: It used to be that the use of the word "gender" to mean "sex" was sometimes discouraged, even though that usage had been long established. In recent decades, with gender politics, gender studies, and the like, not only has that restriction fallen away, but the word "gender" has almost supplanted the word "sex," in the singular, in reference to any of the sexes.

References
1 See, for example: "Grammatical Gender," signed Benjamin Ide Wheeler, The Classical Review; v. 3, no. 9 (1899): p. 390-392. "The Origin of Grammatical Gender," by B. I. Wheeler, in: Proceedings of the Thirty-First Annual Session of the American Philological Association, Held in New York City, July 1899, as published in: Transactions and Proceedings of the American Philological Association, 1899. Volume XXX (Boston, Mass.: Publised for the Association by Ginn, [1900?]): pp. xix-xxiii of said proceedings.
2 See, for example, "On Personification," Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine; no. 297 = v. 47 (June 1840): pp. 798-815, specifically p. 800.

See also discrimination on the basis of sex, sex, transgender.

Quotation from Shackerley Marmion (1603-1639) Illustrating "Gender"
Phil. [i.e. Philautus] Here's a woman! The soul of Hercules has got into her. She has a spirit, is more masculine Than the first gender: how her speech has filled me With love and wonder! sweet lady, proceed.
From the play by Shackerley Marmion, Holland's Leaguer (1631): Act 3, scene 4, lines 132-136, as printed in: The Dramatic Works of Shackerley Marmion, with prefatory memoir, introductions, and notes (Ediburgh: William Paterson; London: H. Sotheran, 1875; in set: Dramatists of the Restoration): p. 61.

Quotation from Fanny Burney (1752-1840) Illustrating "Gender"
[Mr. Scope] "... Young persons, especially of the female gender, being naturally given to laughter, at very small provocatives ..."
From the novel: The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties, by the author of Evelina; Cecelia; and Camilla [i.e. Fanny Burney]. Vol. III (London: Longman, Hurst, Rees, Orme, and Brown, 1814): book 5, chapter 44, p. 85.

Quotation from Peter Bullions Illustrating "Gender"
Some have objected to the designation of three genders; they think that as there are but two sexes, it would be more philosophical and accurate, to say there are only two genders, and to regard all words not belonging to these, as without gender. A little reflection, I think, will show that this objection has no just foundation, either in philosophy or in fact, and that the change it proposes would be no improvement. It has probably arisen from confounding the word gender, which properly signifies a kind, class, or species, (Lat. genus, French genre.) with the word sex, and considering them as synonymous. This, however, is not the case; these words do not mean precisely the same thing, and they cannot be properly applied in the same way. We never say, "the | masculine sex, the feminine sex;" nor "the male gender, the female gender." In strict propriety of speech, the word sex can be predicated only of animated being; the word gender, only of the term by which that being is expressed.
From: The Principles of English Grammar ..., by Peter Bullions (A new ed., revised and corrected. New-York: Robinson, Pratt, Woodford, 1843, c1842): Appendix iii.2, pp. 195-196.  Includes "Preface to the fifth edition," dated Sept. 23, 1842.

Quotation from William Cothren Illustrating "Gender"
He [Rev. Henry P. Strong] appeared to be much more interested in having the best animals of the male gender, of all the domestic kinds, than in | advancing the interests of his "Master in the vineyard of the Lord.
From: History of Ancient Woodbury, Connecticut, from the First Indian Deed in 1659 to 1854 ..., by William Cothren (Waterbury, Conn.: Bronson Brothers, 1854): chapter 16, pp. 304-305.

Quotation from Charles Dickens Illustrating "Gender"
... like a breath along the surface of the gaunt pier-glass behind her, on the frame of which, a hospital procession of negro cupids, several headless and all cripples, were offering black baskets of Dead Sea fruit to black divinities of the feminine gender ...
From the novel: A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens; with introduction and notes by Andrew Lang; in one volume, with the original illustrations (London: Chapman and Hall; New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, [1898]; in set: Gadshill edition [of] The Works of Charles Dickens; v. 21): chapter 4, p. 22. Originally published by Chapman and Hall, 1859.

Quotation from a Nathan C. Brooks (1809-1898) Translation of Charles François L'Homond (1727-1794) Illustrating "Gender"
Gender, in a natual sense, is the distinction of sex, or the difference between male and female. Gender, in a grammatical sense, is the designation of nouns according to their signification or termination.
From: Epitome Historiae Sacrae, auctore L'Homond (Editio nova / quam Latinis prælectionibus, notis, vocumque omnium interpretatione, illustravit Nathan C. Brooks, 5th ed. Philadelphia: Claxton, Remsen & Haffelfinger, 1875, c1855): p. 11.

gender interest:

See conflict of gender interest.

geneclexis:

Choice of a partner based chiefly on that person's physical attributes or biological descent.

Comment: From the Greek: genos ("descent") + eklexis ("selection").

Contrast noeclexis (q.v.). See also attraction, mate selection, sexogamy.

generalized marital exchange:

A customary circular pattern between three or more social groups for the provision of mates, whereby, for instance, persons from group A will provide mates for group B, persons from group B will provide mates for group C, and persons from group C will provide mates for group A.

Not to be confused with spouse exchange (q.v.) or wife exchange (q.v.). See also restricted marital exchange, preferential marriage.

general lover:

A person who woos many and no one in particular.

For an additional lexical example, see under "volage."

See also crumpet man, gay spark, God's gift to men, God's gift to women, ladies' man, lady killer, lover, masher, multimitus, philanderer, polylover, rover, she-wolf, skirt-chaser, slut, stud, vert galant, wolf, womanizer.

Quotation from Henry Fielding Illustrating "General Lover"

The lady being in bed, called Joseph to her, bade him sit down, and, having accidentally laid her hand on his, she asked him, "If he had ever been in love?" Joseph answered, with some confusion, it was time enough for one so young as himself to think on such things. "As young as you are," replied the lady, "I am convinced you are no stranger to that passion. Come, Joey," says she, "tell me truly, who is the happy girl whose eyes have made a conquest of you?" Joseph returned, that all the women he had ever seen were equally indifferent to him. "O then," said the lady, "you are a general lover. Indeed, you handsome fellows, like handsome women, are very long and difficult in fixing; but yet you shall never persuade me that your heart is so insusceptible of affection; I rather impute what you say to your secrecy, a very commendable quality, and what I am far from being angry with you for. Nothing can be more unworthy in a young man than to betray any intimacies with the ladies."

From the novel: Joseph Andrews, [by] Henry Fielding; edited with an introduction and notes by Martin C. Battestin (Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co., c1961; "Riverside Editions"): book 1, chapter 5, p. 22. Based on the 4th edition (1748). Originally published, 1742.

generation:

1. Propagation, especially in the form of baby-making; production, especially of offspring; reproduction, especially biological, with the emphasis upon the result rather than upon processes.

2. As a euphemism, sexuality or the libido.

3. Within a family, those at a given level of either descent or ancestry relative to a particular individual or couple.

4. Relative to oneself or to a particular person, those who are of comparable enough an age to be full siblings; or those who are old enough to be either parents, grandparents, great grandparents, or of some more remote ancestry; or those who are young enough to be either children, grandchildren, great grandchildren or of some more remote descent.

5. Relative to a particular set of forebears who were contemporaries of each other, those at plus those comparable to those at a given level of descent.

6. The aggregate of individuals born within a given culture and within a certain range of years generally comparable to or less than the total child-bearing years of a typical woman or the typical time it would take for a person to grow up and have a child of his or her own, especially (but by no means always) in cases where those individuals have distinctive traits as a group.

7. A period comparable to the total child-bearing years of a typical woman or to the time that it would take for a person to grow up and have a child; perhaps twenty to thirty years, but seldom are definite parameters given.

8. The elite of a particular age in a given field relative to those who came before and after, sometimes more particularly relative to their masters and disciples.

9. A mass-produced product with one or more major qualitative differences from the way it was previously designed and built.

See also family, kinship, sexuality.

 

Quotation from David Hume Illustrating Two Senses of "Generation"

For as there is in all men, both male and female, a desire and power of generation, more active than is ever universally exerted, the restraints, which they lie under, must proceed from some difficulties in their situation, which it belongs to a wide legislature carefully to observe and remove. Almost every man who thinks he can maintain a family will have one; and the human species, at this rate of propagation, would more than double every generation.

"Of the Populousness of Ancient Nations," being part 2, essay 11 in: Essays Moral, Political, and Literary, [by] David Hume; edited and with a foreword, notes, and glossary by Eugene F. Miller; with an apparatus of variant readings from the 1889 edition by T. H. Green and T. H. Grose (Revised ed. Indianapolis: LibertyClassics, c1987): pp. [377]-464, specifically p. 381. Originally published 1741. This edition follows the 1777 edition. Some editions add: "Were every one coupled as soon as he comes to the age of puberty" (cf. p. 639).

generational ship, or generation ship:

A space vessel that will take more than the lifetimes of its original passengers and crew to reach its destination, for instance a destination for human colonization, and that must therefore be staffed and otherwise inhabited for part of that time, perhaps the bulk of that time, by their descendants.

Comment: A science fiction term, which some people hope will someday become an engineering term.

See also Three Dolphin Club.

genetic counseling:

1. Professional assistance given to would-be parents in deciding what steps to take with respect to having offspring, this on the basis of family history, medical records, genetic tests, and an evaluation of the whole.

2. The benefit or practice of the above.

See also couples counseling, eugenics, family counseling, marital counseling, municipal matchmaking, premarital counseling, relationship counseling.

x counseling.

genetic monogamy:

1. A dyadic relationship in which any offspring of either partner would have those two partners as biological parents, especially such a relationship in which the partners copulate with each other and no others, at least in such a way that pregnancy might occur.

2. The practice of participating as a partner in such a relationship.

Comment: The term "genetic monogamy" is generally contrasted with "social monogamy," the point being that genetic monogamy precludes in practice extra-pair fertilization, whereas social monogamy does not.

See also dyad, extra-pair copulation, monogamy, sexual exclusivity, sexual monogamy, sexual non-monogamy.

genetic father:

The male who contributed DNA leading to the conception of a child.

See also baby daddy, biological father, birth father, family jewels, father, sire.

genetic mother:

The female who contributed DNA leading to the conception of a child.

See also baby mama, birth mama, biological mother, birth mother, mother.

genetic parent:

One of the individuals who contributed DNA leading to the conception of a child.

See also biological parent, birthparent, family jewels, parent.

genetic partner:

A person whose genes are sought, typically unconsiously, to combine with one's own to make a baby, sometimes in contradistiction to a regular sex partner.

Comment: According to a current hypothesis, human beings are wired (although, with respect to any given individual, not deterministically) to find the best genes they can by external cues, namely physical attractivceness, for purposes of reproduction. Thus, for example, a woman is more apt to cheat on her regular sex partner during or around ovulation if a more handsome man is available. If that man impregnates her, they become genetic partners. However, a genetic partner is not always the best provider, so she may return to her regular partner and even try to deceive him into thinking that he sired the child. All of this is to maximize the chances of survival at the genetic level, even when, as is usually the case, the players lack any consciousness of such a purpose.

Contrast sperm hunter (q.v.). See also attraction, cuckoldry, genitor, mate value, parent, partner, paternal discrepancy, paternity, sperm wars.

genetic poly:

A polyamorous person conceived of as strongly predisposed from conception to having more than one love at a time, at least once sexually mature.

Comment: Genetic arguments regarding sexuality tend to be highly controversial, and the idea of any individuals being polyamorous because of their genes is so even within many groups of polyamorous people.

See also poly, polyamorous.

genicon:

An imagined sex partner.

See also de Clerambault's syndrome, demon-lover, Dirty Harry syndrome, dream, dream date, fantasy life, ideal, leannan sidhe, love dream, lovemap, partner, perfect catch, porn addiction, sex partner, template (for a lover), unicorn, white whale.

Some related terms outside the scope of this glossary: alloandrism, allogynia, allorgasmia, ephialtes, incubus, succubus.

genitor:

The biological father of a child.

See also family jewels, father, genetic partner, husband, lover, pater, paternity, Smizmar.

genogram:

A map of family relationships. The standard symbols used are able to reflect a variety of family complexities. Generally a square represents a male, a circle a female, a solid line connecting them below a marriage, a dotted line connecting them below an affair or domestic arrangement, a single slash through the solid line a marital separation, a double slash through the solid line a divorce, a square containing an upside-down triangle a gay man, a circle containing an upside-down triangle a lesbian, and so on.

See also alternate relationship geometries, cycling, diagramming a love relationship, diagramming kinship ties, dyadic notation, group complexity theory, Langdon chart, letter group, relationship levels, romantic network, sexual network, triadic notation, vee, Z.

genophobia:

Fear of anything having to do with sexuality.

See also erotophobia, -phobia, prudery, sexual bigotry, sexual inhibition.

Related terms beyond the scope of this glossary: anophelophobia, coitophobia, esodophobia, paraphobia, paraphiliaphobia, primesodophobia, spermatophobia, spermophobia.

gentle heart:

1. Capacity for and inclination towards kindly and affectionate feelings.

2. Kindly and affectionate feelings themselves, especially of the romantic sort.

See also affection, heart, love, tenderness.

Quotation from Dante Gabriel Rossetti's Translation of Dante Alighieri (1265-1321) Illustrating "Gentle Heart"
[Text] Amore e 'l cor gentil sono una cosa.
From: Vita Nuova 20, in: Le Opere Minori, [di] Dante Alighieri (Firenze: Casa Editrice Adriano Salani, 1938; in series: I Classici del Giglio, publicati sotto la direzione di Enrico Bianchi):  pp. [21]-89, specifically p. 50.
[Translation] Love and the gentle heart are one same thing.
From: The New Life (La Vita Nuova), [di] Dante Alighieri, in:  The Collected Works of Dante Gabriel Rossetti, edited with preface and notes by Willima M Rossetti. Volume II, Translations; Prose-Notices of Fine Arts (London: Ellis, 1906): pp. 30-95, specifically p. 58. This translation was previously published in Dante and His Circle (1874).

Entry added January 13, 2008

gentleman caller:

1. A male visitor.

2. A male who is seeking to court or otherwise to attract a person, typically a female, by seeking to spend time with that person.

Contrast lady caller (q.v.). See also bride-wooer, caller, courtship, date, gallant, suitor, Sunday husband, swain, wooer.

gentleman friend:

1. A male love interest who returns affection, perhaps a lover.

2. A male companion.

3. A male friend, that is, a person whom one knows and likes, the feeling being reciprocated.

Comment: Given polite usage, the term suggests maturity or sophistication or both on the part of the person being referred to.

See also beau, boyfriend, companion, friend, gallant, lady friend, love interest, lover, man friend, partner, romantic friend, Sunday husband.

x friend.

geography of love:

1. The distribution of places where stages in developing relationships and romantic affection begin.

2. The places where romantic affection might be found, either for those looking for partners or for those looking for the sorts of relationships where genuine romantic affection is present.

3. The metaphorical terrain and waterways representing, for instance, the twists and turns, ups and down, and obstacles and distances experienced in the course of a romantic relationship (inclusive of the prelude to it), or of romantic relationships collectively speaking.

See also availability index, boy-next-door theory, carte de tendre, geography of marriage, girl-next-door theory, Land of Matrimony, love, love will find a way, map of matrimony, Metuchen theory, nearest donut theory, propinquity factor, proximity, Reich der Liebe, River of True Love, royaume d'amour, sentimental cartography, sex ratio, station amoureux, topography of love, Truelove River.

x love's geography.

geography of marriage:

The distribution patterns, by region, of marriage (q.v.), of divorce, and of their analogs among those not formally married; the demographics of marital unions and the like.

See also geography of love, Land of Matrimony, map of matrimony, marriage tide.

geoman (Saxon):

See zeoman.

geosexual:

An adjective having to do with anything that relates the sexes or sexuality to geography; thus, for instance:

1. Pertaining to or characterized by erotic stimulation by certain of the earth's natural environments.

2. Pertaining to the assignment of sex to one or more regions of the earth or to one or more geographical features according to their characteristics, an example being "Squaw Mountain."

3. Pertaining to relations between the sexes either globally, region by region, or in a particular region, as in "geosexual politics."

4. Pertaining to or characterized by the geography of sexual mores and practices, especially by the influence of a region and its climate upon the sexual mores and practices of the ethnic groups that have lived there or are currently living there.

Comments: I've seen the first two senses used only jocularly, yet they strike me as useful. The third sense is rare, and the last sense is my coinage (October 16, 2009).

Regarding the last sense, obviously a variety of responses to any given environment are possible; and, therefore, though geosexual, not determined. Nevertheless, the influence of environment upon sexual mores and practices is often noticed. For instance:

• The arctic environment is sometimes said to have influenced Eskimo mores and practices, resulting in sexual alliances through wife exchange and in sexual entertainment in the form of the game of doused lights.
• Arguably, the vastness and diversity of the North American continent tends to break down uniformity of mores and artificial constructs, rendering contrasts between aboriginal mores and those of the descendents of later settlers less striking.
  
• Deseert environments have tended to encourage asceticism, on the one hand, and sexual hospitality, on the other.
  
• Tropical and subtropical environments tend to encourage exposure of the body.

See also ecosexual, geosexual ethics, sexual mores.

geosexual ethics:

Any set of principles, bearing on sexual behavior and attitudes, developed in response to the natural characteristics of a region and its climate, especially:

• such as are designed to maximize harmony with the natural environment and human survivability and contentment in that context; or,
• such as are designed to adapt a religious code of ethics to a given region or to various regions generally.
  

Comment: Coined by me, October 17, 2009.

See also contextualism, ethical relativism, geosexual, green household, sexual ethics, situation ethics.

German terms:

See anaclitic love (Anlehnungstypus), Einfühlung, forest bride (Waldbraut), Frau, Drachenfutter, Dreiheit, gemütlich intimacy, Hausfrau, Haustafeln, Holiness Code (Heiligkeitsgesetz), individual family (Sonderfamilie), ius primae noctis (Recht der ersten Nacht, Herrenrecht), Knipperdolling, Lasterkatalog, Liebestod, Minnedienst, Reich der Liebe, temple of love (Liebestempel), tinesl weeks (Flitterwochen), Torschlusspanik, "To see him is to love him" (Der Wunsch sie zu sehen, ist auch der Wunsch, sie zu besitzen), "Two hearts that beat as one" (Zwei herzen und ein Schlag), ubercrush, Urfamilie, Vergeistigung der Sinnlichkeit.

gerontogamy:

Marriage on the part of an old man, especially with a much younger woman.

Comment: From Greek gerôn, -ontos ("old man") + gamos ("union").

Contrast anilogamy (q.v.). See also anisonogamia, anilojuvenogamy, December-December romance, dysonogamia, -gamy, intergenerational relationship, late-life romance, late marriage, marriage, mature person, May-December relationship, May-December romance, old-age romance, opsigamy, sex after fifty, spring-autumn romance, take the dottle-trot, wrinkly romance.

gerontophilia:

1. A psychological condition in which sexual arousal is dependent upon having a sex partner that belongs to one's parents' generation or earlier, either in reality or in the imagination.

2. A dominant and compelling sexual attraction to people considerably older than oneself.

See also age-gap relationship, alphamegamia, anilojuvenogamy, anisonogamia, cougar relationship, ephebophilia, intergenerational relationhship, mature person, May-December relationship, May-December romance, nepiophilia, pedophilia, -philia, rob the cradle, spring-autumn romance.

gestational surrogacy:

See surrogate mother.

get; plural, gittin (Hebrew):

Bill of divorce (q.v.).

See also agunah, kiddushim.

x Hebrew terms.

get back together:

See back together.

get back with:

To reconstitute a love relationship with or otherwise to reunite with.

See also back to dating (someone), back together, back with, lost and found lover, rekindle the flame, reunion.

get cold feet:

 See cold feet.

get enough:

1. To receive a sufficient amount.

2. To have sexual relations with sufficient frequency and in a way that is sufficiently satisfactory to have a beneficial effect, especially with regard to how one interacts with others.

Comment: Thus it is sometimes supposed of an irritable person, for instance, that he or she "isn't getting enough."

See also get enough at home.

get enough at home:

To have sexual relations with one's spouse with sufficient frequency and in a way that is sufficiently satisfactory to feel content and not sexually deprived.

Comment: "Not geting enough at home" often carries the connotation that the subject is not happy in his or her marriage and is especially vulnerable to sexual temptations. The phrase carries a cautionary note to the subject's spouse and serves as a signal to those who would move in and provide what's lacking.

See also get enough, happy marriage, home, keep (someone) happy in bed, sex-deprived, sexual compatibility, signs of infidelity.

get government out of the bedroom:

A slogan which represents the view that the state (meaning the government at any level and in any branch) has no proper role limiting or otherwise dictating either with whom one has sex or sexual practices conducted consensually and in private.

Comment: This slogan varies with context. "Get government out ..." tends to be used where a government is perceived to be interfering with the sex lives of individuals. "Keep government out ..." tends to be used where a government is perceived to be threatening to interfere with the sex lives of individuals.

See also antinomianism, bedroom, free love, heart balm statute, libertarianism, liberty, private life, relationship freedom, right to sex, separation of sex and power, separation of sex and state, sex and power, sexual freedom, sexual politics, sexual toleration, statism, sumptuary law, unwelcome admixture with sexuality.

x government out of the bedroom.

x keep government out of the bedroom.

x slogans.

get hitched:

See hitched.

get laid:

See need to get laid.

get (one's) hooks into:

1. When the object is a thing:

• a. To begin executing a legal but exploitive way to acquire it (for instance, property), as through marriage, but not yet to possess it; to get some sort of hold on in order to possess.
  
• b. To latch onto; to attach oneself to; to doggedly cling to. Usually in a figurative sense.
  

2. When the object is a person:

• a. To gain influence over that person.
  
• b. To make that person emotionally attached to oneself, especially to do so with ulterior motives.

Comment: The intended imagery varies. Sometimes the reference is to fishing hooks or gaffs; sometimes to the hooks of the devil -- which, in the English language at least since Robert Samuel (d. 1555), has often been represented as baited -- and thus to temptation; and sometimes to hooked and grasping fingers or even finger nails.

See also fish, gold digger, make (a person) fall in love with, make-want, marry for money, matrimonial adventurer; widow-snatcher.

x hooks.

Quotation from W. H. Withrow Illustrating "Get His Hooks Into"
"But you've one [a soul] to save, Phin, and the blessed Lord that saved mine will save yours too. Let it be this very day." "I've often thought I'd try, Bob; but then the devil 'ud get his hooks into me, and temptation 'ud get the better o' me ..."
From the novel: Life in a Parsonage; or, Lights and Shadows of the Itinerancy, by W. H. Withrow (London: T. Woolmer, 1885): chapter 13, p. 67.

Quotation from John Reed Scott Illustrating "Get Her Hooks Into"
"Yours!" said [Tony] Wilberforce -- "for letting that | dazzling widow, yonder, get her hooks into Harwood." "How am I to blame?" she [Evelyn Leicester] laughed, stepping over the low sill into the room. "For not marrying him."
From the novel: The Woman in Question, by John Reed Scott; with illustrations in color by Clarence F. Underwood (Philadelphia: J. B. Lippincott, 1909): chapter 9, pp. 141-142.

get over (someone):

To cease feeling a strong emotional attachment to a person; to cease missing a person, at least intensely.

Comment: Getting over someone is commonly a process and can be helped along in many ways, for instance, by proceeding through a grieving process, by the fading of memory, or by the finding of new love.

See also grieve, let go, miss, "You never get over your first love."

get the girl:

To be successful in attracting a particular woman.

Comment: A phrase applicable to many a story plot: The hero "gets the girl" in the end.

See also get the girl.

get the guy:

1. To catch a particular man, for instance, a criminal.

2. To acquire the services of a particular man.

3. To bring a particular man.

4. To be successful in attracting a particular man.

See also get the girl.

get the mitten:

1. To be rejected as a suitor.

2. To be dismissed as a lover.

See also break up, dump, E&E, EwE, flush, get the sack, get the shaft, give the mitten, jilt, let go, reject, sack, separate, split up, spurn (someone), uncouple, walk out.

x mitten.

 

get the sack:

1. To be on the receiving end of a termination, for example, of one's employment.

2. To be jilted as a lover.

See also break up, dump, E&E, EwE, flush, get the mitten, get the shaft, jilt, let go, reject, sack, separate, split up, uncouple, walk out.

get the shaft:

1. To be treated unfairly.

2. To be dumped as a lover.

See also break up, dump, E&E, EwE, flush, get the mitten, get the sack, jilt, let go, reject, sack, separate, split up, uncouple, walk out.

Quotation from Armistead Maupin Illustrating "Got the Shaft"
[Mona Ramsey] "Oh ... you got the shaft?" [Michael Toliver, a.k.a. "Mouse"] "Well, we parted amiably enough. He [Robert, Michael's lover] was terribly civilized about it, and I sat in Lafayette Park and cried all morning. Yeah ... I got the shaft."
From the novel: Tales of the City, [by] Armistead Maupin (New York: Harper & Row, 1978; "Perennial Library"; in: Tales of the City Series; v. 1): p. 70. The elisions are Maupin's.

get under (one's) skin:

1. To annoy or irritate someone.

2. To affect someone in such a way that an emotional attachment, perhaps even an obsessive attachment, is formed on his or her part.

3. As hyperbole, to experience what another experiences, by way of closeness.

Example of the second sense: The song, "I've Got You Under My Skin," by Cole Porter (1936).

See also assot, attachment, make (a person) fall in love with, make-want.

x under (one's) skin.

GF:

Girlfriend (q.v.).

ghosts of relationships past:

1. Intrusive memories and aftereffects of certain personal ties one once had; the hauntings of one's mind or in one's interactions with others -- one's love life, for instance -- by personal connections either that are no longer or that lie dormant.

2. More narrowly and concretely, the expression or display of such memories and aftereffects to another person.

Comments: I do not know the origin of the term, but it seems to have been in widespread use by the early 1990s. Possibly it is patterned after "the Ghost of Christmas Past" in The Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens (1843).

The term is generally but not necessarily cast in the plural. Thus one might see, for instance, "the ghost of a relationship past."

The personal connections may be family ties, friendships, or partnerings in love. Often solely the last is meant.

Hauntings in interactions with others may take the form, for instance, of past relationships being a recurrent subject of conversation or a current relationship being constantly compared to and contrasted with earlier ones.

See also aeipathy, ancient history, dead love, demons of relationships past, dormant love, erstwhile dear, echo, ex, ex-husband syndrome, ex-wife syndrome, galapropism, hold an intimacy close, left-over desire, left-over love, let go, long-lost love, lost love, love remembered, love reminiscences, love trauma syndrome, love withdrawal, miss, old boyfriend, old girlfriend, old flame, old sweetheart, once-beloved, past attachment, pine for, post break-up funk, postmarital blues, promisacuity, razbliuto, relationship, relationship obit, retrosexual, romantic history together, saudade, second-husband syndrome, second-wfe syndrome, TOTGA, , "We'll always have Paris," withdrawal anguish.

gifta:

The giving of the bride to the groom; the "who gives" part of the wedding vows.

See also give away in marriage, sponsalia per verba de praesenti.

giglet or giglot:

1. A wanton woman (q.v.); a woman who enjoys sporting, of the sexual sort, beyond the bounds of social propriety, especially such a woman who flits from man to man; a female with whom more than one man can get his merries.

2. A girl who just likes to have fun; a frolicsome female.

See also bimbo, box of assorted creams, flirt-gill, fribbler, girl toy, güila, hoochie, lothariette, make-out artist, multicipara, pick up artist, punch board, punchbroad, she-wolf, slut, tart, tramp, whore.

gigolo:

1. A woman's kept man.

2. A woman's male lover, one who is much younger than she.

3. A male prostitute who services women.

4. A paid male escort or professional male dance partner (hence the "jig" in "gigolo").

Comment: The term is often used pejoratively.

See also bimbo, boytoy, cavaliere servante, cicisbeo, gold digger, kept man, leman, lover, male concubine, other man, partner, prostitute, sugar daddy, sanky panky, sex worker, Sunday husband, toy boy.

Quotation from Edna Ferber Illustrating "Gigolo"
In the first place, gigolo is slang. In the second place (with no desire to appear patronizing, but one's French conversation class does not include the argot), it is French slang. In the third place, the gig is pronounced zhig, and the whole is not a respectable word. Finally, it is a term of utter contempt. A gigolo, generally speaking, is a man who lives off women's money.
From the novel: Gigolo, by Edna Ferber (New York: Grosset & Dunlap, c1922): chapter [3], p. 69. Italics hers. Published earlier in book form (with the same paging): Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, Page, 1922.

GI groupie:

See also amejo, good-time charlotte, groupie, khaki-wacky, kokujo, V- girl, victory girl.

Gill:

See Jack and Jill.

girdle of Venus:

1. Aprhrodite's girdle.

2. Chastity-belt.

3. In palmistry, the crease on some hands running between the second and fifth fingers.

4. The pink band between blue sky and the earth's shadow at the horizon, during the rising or setting of the sun.

5. A ribbon-shaped marine comb jelly, Venus's girdle (Cestum veneris), phylum Ctenophora, order Cestida, family Cestidae.

Comments: In Latin the word for "girdle" is cestus (plural: cesti) or caestus, which corresponds to the Greek word kestos, but which, in the case of Aphrodite's girdle, translates himas. When the Cestus or Ceston is referred to alone, often it means Aphrodite's girdle.

See also amorous dove, Aphrodite's girdle, Armida's girdle (note quotation with "Venus Ceston"), attraction, cap-setting, chastity, Cupid's golden arrow, Cytherean posies, enchantment, in love, Love, sex goddess.

x Acidalian knot.

x Caestus.

x Cestus.

x Citherea's Ceston.

x Cytherea's Ceston.

x Greek terms.

x Kestos.

x Latin terms.

x Venus's girdle.

x Venus' Ceston.

Quotations from Martial regarding the Girdle of Venus
... Iulia ... ludit Acidalio, sed non manus aspera, nodo, quem rapuit collo, parve Cupido, tuo. ut Martis revocetur amor summique Tonantis, a te Iuno petat ceston et ipsa Venus. Julia ... Your hand plays, but not roughly, with the Acidalian knot that it snatched from little Cupid's neck. To win back Mars' love and the supreme Thunderer's, let Juno and Venus herself ask you for the girdle. Martial, Epigrams 6.13.1, 5-8
Cestos Collo necte, puer, meros amores, ceston de Veneris sinu calentem.   Cestus Bind round your neck, boy, a cestus warm from Venus' bosom, love undiluted. Martial, Epigrams 14:206
Idem Sume Cytheriaco medicatum nectare ceston: ussit amatorem balteus iste Iovem.   Same Take a cestus, treated with Cytherean nectar. This girdle burned amorous Jupiter. Martial, Epigrams 14:207
Martial: Epigrams, edited and translated by D. R. Shackleton Bailey (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1993; in set: The Loeb Classical Library): v. 2, pp. 10-11; v. 3, pp. 306-309. Martial lived ca. 38-ca. 104 C.E. Regarding the Acidalian knot, a footnote explains: "The girdle (cestus) of Venus, which inspired love." Regarding Jupiter, see Zeus in Homer, Iliad 14:197-223.

Quotation from Ben Jonson regarding the Girdle of Venus
XLVI. -- A Sonnet, To The Noble Lady, The Lady Mary Wroth   I that have been a lover, and could shew it, Though not in these, in rhymes not wholly dumb, Since I exscribe your sonnets, am become A better lover, and much better poet. Nor is my Muse or I asham'd to owe it To those true numerous graces, whereof some But charme the senses, others overcome Both brains and hearts; and mine now best do know it: For in your verse all Cupid's armory, His flames, his shafts, his quiver, and his bow, His very eyes are yours to overthrow. But then his mother's sweets you so apply, Her joys, her smiles, her loves, as readers take For Venus' ceston every line you make.
The Works of Ben Jonson (Boston: Phillips, Sampson, 1853): 825. Originally from: Underwoods (1640). Ben Jonson's dates: 1572-1637.

Quotation from Robert Herrick (1591-1674) regarding the Girdle of Venus
Upon this convex all the flowers Nature begets by th' sun and showers, Are to wild digestion brought, As if love's sampler here was wrought: Or Citherea's cestus, which All with temptation doth bewitch.	Upon this Convex, all the flowers, (Nature begets by th' Sun, and showers,) Are to a wilde digestion brought, As if Love's Sampler here was wrought: Or Citherea's Ceston, which All with temptation doth bewitch.
"Oberon's Palace," lines 33-38. This is Hesperides §444, as numbered in this edition: Robert Herrick: The Hesperides & Noble Numbers, edited by Alfred Pollard; with a preface by A. C. Swinburne (London: Lawrence & Bullen; New York: Charles Scribner's Sons, 1891; in set: Works of Robert Herrick; v. 1-2; in series: The Muses' Library): v. 1, pp. 204-209, specifically p. 206. Hesperides was originally published: London: Printed for John Williams, and Francis Eglesfield; ... to be sold by Tho: Hunt, 1648. Citherea is another name for Venus, the Roman goddess of love.	Editors vary greatly in how they present a text. This is the redaction as found in: The Poems of Robert Herrick, edited, with a biographical introduction, by John Masefield (London: E. Grant Richards, 1906; in series: The Chapbooks; 4): pp. 146-149, specifically p. 147.

girl-bride:

1. A young fiancée.

2. A human female who marries at a young age or while still immature.

3. A young or immature wife.

4. The female-child partner in a mock wedding.

Contrast boy-bridegroom (q.v.). See also bride, child-bride, fiancée, partner, wife.

Quotations from D. H. Lawrence Illustrating "Girl-bride"
[240] And thinking, she [Lydia Brangwen] became again Lensky's girl-bride. He was of good family, of better family even than her own, for she was half German. She was a young girl in a house of insecure fortune. And he, an intellectual, a clever surgeon and physician, had loved her. How she had looked up to him!
[241] Then came the real marriage, passion came to her, and she became his slave, he was her lord, her lord. She was the girl-bride, the slave, she kissed his feet, she had thought it an honour to touch his body, to unfasten his boots. For two years, she had gone on as his slave, crouching at his feet, embracing his knees. Children had come, he had followed his ideas... But gradually, at twenty-three, twenty-four, she began to realize that she too might consider these ideas.
From the novel: The Rainbow, by D. H. Lawrence (New York: B. W. Huebsch, c1915, 1921 printing): chapter 9, pp. 240-241.

girl crazy:

Fascinated with young human females, due to an awakening or recently activated female-oriented libido; attracted to, obsessively thinking about, and desirous of mingling with human females, especially pre-adolescent or adolescent human females. Said especially of a boy or young man or of a group of boys or young men.

See also boy crazy, gynecomania, gynophilia, heterosexual, man-keen, philogyneity, skirt-chaser, straight, woman-hungry, woman-mad.

girl crush:

Infatuation of a straight human female with another human female.

Contrast man crush (q.v.). See also crush, friendship, infatuation, straight.

girlfriend:

1. A female love interest who returns affection.

2. A female's female friend, that is, a person whom she knows and likes, the feeling being reciprocated, and with whom she is on easy terms.

Comment: Abbreviated GF.

See also baby; belle; best girl; bird; bitch; boyfriend; camp girlfriend; chick; college sweetheart; dobash; ex-ex; ex-girlfriend; fancy; friend; GF; girlfriend in common; girlfriend zone; girl in every port; girl toy; high school sweetheart; hoe; huapala; ipo; jelly; knitting; lady friend; landlady; live-in girlfriend; long-haired chum; love interest; lover; mary jane; MDR; motorcycle mama; new woman in (his) life; novia; old girlfriend; on-again, off-again girlfriend; on-and-off girlfriend; partner; party; pash; popsey; romantic friend; school-day sweetheart; steady; summer lover; tag-along girlfriend; trophy girl; woman; woman friend; wonder-wench.

girlfriend in common:

A shared girlfriend (q.v.).

Comment: Can be expressed as "a common girlfriend"; however, that term introduces ambiguity, since it can also mean "an ordinary girlfriend" or, in some contexts, "a low-class girlfriend."

See also boyfriend in common, brother in lust, bukis, sexual network.

x common girlfriend.

girlfriend zone:

The state of being a particular person's girlfriend (q.v.), especially insofar as it entitles one to certain privileged information or intimacies.

Source: The BBC television sitcom, "Coupling," Series 1, episode 1, "Flushed," written by Steven Moffat; directed by Martin Dennis (first aired, May 12, 2000).

See also boyfriend zone.

x zone.

girl in every port:

A sailor's girlfriends around the globe or an analogous situation.

Comment: Usually preceded by the indefinite articles, hence: "A girl in every port." Among the variants: "A wife in every port."

See also amejo, dobash, droit de la vocation, fishing fleet, girlfriend, hundred-mile rule, knitting, kokujo, landlady, long-haired chum, party, pash, popsey, search polygyny.

x wife in every port.

girl next door:

1. A female child or young woman who is one's immediate neighbor.

2. A woman, generally one who is relatively pretty and yet approachable, who evokes the feeling that one is beholding wholesome femininity.

3. The stereotype of the preceding.

Comment: The term sometimes connotes, especially for many men, an object of unsatisfied longings, or of wistful sexual memories or of ready domesticity as, proximally, the most available potential partner.

See also boy next door, nice girl, plain Jane, propinquity, proximity.

girl-next-door theory:

1. The idea that appeal is enhanced by negation, the metaphor being a young woman whom nobody wants to date until she is unavailable: only then are young men of the neighborhood smitten with her.

2. The idea that the stereotype of a wholesome young woman will have a special appeal for a particular purpose, as in entertainment.

3. The idea that proximity plays an important role in whom a man selects for a wife.

4. The idea that a man is most likely to marry a neighbor, this idea being employed in the service of a genealogical research stratagem for uncovering maiden names.

Source for the first sense: Winning Through Intimidation, by Robert J. Ringer; illustrated by Jack Medoff (2nd ed. Los Angeles: Los Angeles Book Publishers Co., 1974). <Not examined>

See also boy-next-door theory, geography of love, Metuchen theory, nearest donut theory, propinquity factor, proximity, topography of love.

x theories.

girl of (one's) dreams:

A human female, especially a young one, who appears to fit the image of what one imagines to be an ideal mate for oneself.

See also boy of (one's) dreams, demon-lover, dream, dream date, fantasy life, ideal, lady in the parlor, love dream, lovemap, Miss Right, Miss Wonderful, Ms. Right, perfect catch, person of (one's) dreams, template (for a lover), unicorn, woman of (one's) dreams.

Sheet Music Illustrating "Girl of My Dreams"

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If You Can't Have the Girl of Your Dreams, lyric by Joe Young; music by Harry Warren (New York: Remick Music Corp., c1930).

Sheet Music Illustrating "Girl of My Dreams"

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Goodnight, Little Girl of My Dreams, by Charlie Tobias and Joe Burke (New York City: Joe Morris Music Co., c1933). Picture signed: Leff. On cover: "Vincent Lopez and his Hotel St. Regis Orchestra."

girl toy:

1. A young woman as sex object and lover, especially of a much older, much wealthier, or muh more powerful person.

2. A human female one uses merely for sexual play; a female lover the relationship with whom is not taken seriously.

Contrast boytoy (q.v.) and toy boy (q.v.). See also amour de vanité, bimbo, casual sex, concubine, flirt-gill, Friday night girl, giglet, girlfriend, leman, lover, mistress, paramour, partner, side girl, tertiary partner, trophy wife.

Quotation from Gail Sheehy Illustrating "Girl Toy"
That external structure crumbled when her husband discarded her for a girl toy when she was in her mid-forties with only a high school degree.
From: Sex and the Seasoned Woman: Pursuing the Passionate Life, [by] Gail Sheehy (New York: Random House, c2006): p. 78.

girl who lives her own life:

A woman on her own, especially one who flouts social conventions, including conventions regarding sexual behavior and marriage.

See also adventuress, bohemian, slut, tramp, wanton woman.

Quotation from D. H. Lawrence Illustrating "Girls Who Live their Own Lives"
[Gerald Crich regarding certain people in Soho] "What kind of people?" [Rupert Birkin] Art -- music -- London Bohemia -- the most pettifogging calculating Bohemia that ever reckoned its pennies. But there are a few decent people, decent in some respects. They are really very thorough rejecters of the world -- perhaps they live only in the gesture of rejection and negation -- but negatively something, at any rate." "What are they? -- painters, musicians?" "Painters, musicians, writers -- hangers-on, models, advanced young people, anybody who is openly at outs with the conventions, and belongs to nowhere particularly. They are often young fellows down from the University, and girls who are living their own lives, as they say." "All loose?" said Gerald. Birkin could see his curiosity roused. "In one way. Most bound, in another. For all their shockingness, all on one note."
From the novel: Women in Love, [by] D. H. Lawrence; with a foreword by the author and an introduction by Richard Aldington (New York: Viking Press, 1960): chapter 5, pp. 52-53. Early editions: New York: Privately printed for subscribers only, 1920. London: Martin Secker, 1921.

give a green gown:

To engage in sex play in the grass with a woman.

See also green gown.

give away in marriage; also: give, give away, give away the bride, give in marriage:

To transfer ceremonially an individual, customarily a woman, the bride, from one person or set of persons, once customarily her father but now often her parents, to another person, customarily a man, the groom, in the course of a wedding. Conceivably, as in group marriage, she could instead be given away to a set of persons.

Comment: Both the custom and the notions implicit in the phrase are offensive to some, since they seem to say that a woman should not be in possession of or responsible for herself, since the father has customarily been used to represent the family patriarchally, and since men have rarely if ever been given away in marriage. However, nowadays in many Western contexts practices have changed or become optional, sexist connotations are considered archaic, and many a bride employs the custom voluntarily as way of honoring whomever she chooses to "give her away," generally one or more persons who have long cared for her.

Alternatives have been suggested by those who object to use of the phrase in current ceremonies, such as "accompany the bride down the aisle" and "escort the bride to the altar."

For further comment, see under "marry."

See also bestow in marriage, bride, collocation, despouse, gifta, groom, "head of the wife," lead to the altar, marry off, sponsalia per verba de praesenti, wedding.

x given away.

A Saying of Jesus at Mark 12:25 in the Translation of Helen Barrett Montgomery Illustrating "Given in Marriage"
When they rise from the dead men do not marry, and women are not given in marriage, but they are as the angels are in heaven.
From: Centenary Translation of the New Testament, translated by Helen Barrett Montgomery (Philadelphia: American Baptist Publication Society, 1924): p. 128. In Greek, from which this translation was made, gamousin and gamizontai imply male and female respectively; but in English the implied meanings tend to be lost, unless spelled out, as the translator has done. For parallels in the canonical Gospels, see Matthew 22:30 and Luke 20:34-36. For my discussion of these passages, click here.

give horns to:

To make a cuckold of, in usual usage the cuckold being a man.

See also bull's feather, cornute, cuckold, forked order, horned, horn-mad, horns, horns hung on, wear the horns.

given away:

See give away in marriage.

give (oneself) to (a particular person):

1. To consent to marry (a given individual), the implication often being that one is also promising not to have sex with anybody else.

2. To consent to have sex with (a given individual).

3. To be totally submissive to (a given individual).

See also consent to marriage, consent to sex, give one's heart away, "head of the wife."

A Postcard Illustrating "Give Yourself to Me"

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"Post card," with white borders and in portrait format, showing a couple kissing across a staircase railing; with caption at top: "My thoughts of you"and with the lines: "The same old story still is told | By lovers young and lovers old | A story ending with this plea, | Oh, darling give yourself to me" ([S.l.: s.n., between 1915 and 1930]). Numbered B.68-12. Date based on the divided back and white border. From the author's collection, scanned <on such and such a date>. Note the entry for "old, old story."

give (one's) heart away:

To fix (one's) affection on a particular person and to direct one's loyalty to that person, especially in the context of a love relationship; to invest (oneself) emotionally in another person.

Comment: Variations include "to give one's heart" and "to give one's whole heart."

See also affection, emotional fidelity, fall in love, heart, steal one's heart, win one's heart.

Quotation from D. H. Lawrence Illustrating "Give All Their Hearts Away"
Love! When a man has no particular ambition, his mind turns back perpetually, as a needle towards the pole. That tiresome word Love. It means so many things. It meant the feeling he [the character Alexander Hepburn] had had for his wife. He had loved her. But he shuddered at the thought of having to go through such love again. It meant also the feeling he had for the awfully nice young things he met here and there: fresh, impulsive girls ready to give all their hearts away.
From the short story: "The Captain's Doll," in: The Ladybird, by D. H. Lawrence (London: Martin Secker, 1923): p. 210.

give the mitten:

1. To reject a suitor.

2. To terminate a relationship with a lover.

See also break up, ditch, dump, E&E, EwE, flush, get the mitten, get the sack, jilt, leave (someone), let go, reject, sack, separate, split up, spurn (someone), throw over, uncouple, walk out, wouldn't marry (you) if (you) were the last person on earth.

x mitten.

give up on a love:

1. To despair finally of ever being able to have a certain person as a partner in a love relationship or marriage.

2. To despair finally that one will ever again find satisfaction with one's partner.

Carefully contrast give up on love. See also call it quits, give up on a marriage, love.

give up on a marriage:

1. As a matter of concession to a difficult marital situation, to cease to work at making the marital relationship function to the benefit of the partners or, if no effort had been invested, to refuse to put in effort to save the relationship.

2. To decide to separate from a spouse permanently or to divorce.

3. To form the judgment that a given marital union will either not last or never work.

See also call it quits, divorce, give up on a love, give up on marriage, marriage, separation.

give up on love:

1. To adopt the attitude that one will never find an acceptable partner in love, although desiring one, on the theory that one is nover likely to find such a partner.

2. During a period of one's life when a need for romance and sex is felt or when they could be vitalizing forces, to concede both that sexual desire for one's partner is mostly over, even if a kind of affection continues, and that seeking romance and sex elsewhere would be to violate boundaries one considers too important to violate.

3. During a period of one's life when a need for romance and sex is felt or when they could be vitalizing forces, to concede both that one's partner no longer desires to engage in sexual activity with oneself and that seeking romance and sex elsewhere would be to violate boundaries one considers too important to violate.

4. To refuse to seek romance or to enter into any committed love relationship because of emotional wounds or disappointments in love suffered in the past.

5. To decide against trying to live by a love ethic when one had formerly done so; to choose other principles, such as looking after one's own interests, as superior to agapic love, when agapic love had once been one's topmost principle.

Contrast believe in love (q.v.) and, in a different way, give up on a love (q.v.). See also agapic love, call it quits, give up on marriage, love, sexless love.

give up on marriage:

1. To despair finally either that one will ever find a marital partner or that one will be in a position, financial or otherwise, to marry.

2. To decide that one doesn't like marriage (q.v.) -- that is, marriage per se -- having tried it or, at least, having had hopes for it; to despair finally that certain needs will be met or that one will find a measure of contentment with any marital partner.

3. To come to find distasteful one or more factors about either getting married formally, being married formally, or the prevailing social policies regarding marriage such that one refuses to become formally married, even if one has a partner informally.

4. To lose one's belief in marriage as worthwhile or as a social good.

Contrast believe in marriage (q.v.). See also call it quits, give up on a marriage, give up on love.

glam:

See glamour.

glamour:

1. A magic spell.

2. Emanation of the enchanting, mysterious, alluring, or highly fashionable image.

3. An illusory or deceptive image; an image that evokes fantasy.

4. That which evokes a sense of romance or entices one to adventure or to the pursuit of the exotic.

5. A collaborative presentation -- for instance, by way of modeling and photography -- that highlights in a skilled way that which is attractive or enticing about a man or a woman, especially where at least partial nudity is involved. This sort of presentation is sometimes used to sell clothing or other goods.

Comment: Sometimes the word is shortened to "glam."

See also attraction, enchantment, human beauty, romance, witchwife.

x glam.

glbt, or GLBT:

See lgbt.

glbt-friendly:

See lgbt-friendly.

glow:

See polyglow.

GMILF, or gmilf:

Acronym for "grandmother I'd like to f*ck."

1. A woman who is old enough to be one's grandmother and whom one finds sexually desirable.

goat-drunk:

The sort of intoxication with alcohol that makes one either horny or sexually uninhibited or both.

See also alcoholic jealousy, horny, randy.

x drunk.

go back to (someone):

1. To return to where (a particular person) is located.

2. To reestablish with (a particular person) a love relationship that had been broken.

3. To resume living with (a lover or spouse whom one had left).

Comment: The complementary phrase is "come back to (someone)," as in the plea, "Come back to me!" The difference is a matter of perspective. If the speaker is speaking from the perspective of the returnee, then the phrase is "go back to"; if the speaker is speaking from the perspective of the one being returned to, then the phrase is "come back to."

See also break up, kiss and make up, leave (someone), reconcile, take (someone) back.

x come back to (someone).

go-between:

1. A person who acts as an intermediary, for instance, between two people who might make a match.

2. A person who serves to keep a line of communication open between certain individuals, for instance, between lovers who have had a spat.

See also affiance, affy, dating service, fix up, love-broker, marriage broker, proxenete, matchmaker, play Cupid, set (somebody) up, shadkahn.

gobsmacked, or gob-smacked:

1. Speechlessly astounded, as if unexpectedly hit in the mouth.

2. Punched in the mouth.

3. Kissed on the lips by surprise.

4. Besotted to such an extent as to have lost possession of good judgment and/or some other faculty.

Comment: "Gob" is an old Scottish word for mouth.

The term "gob-smacked" has been documented back at least to 1956.

See also besotted, blinded by love, love-struck, smitten.

Quotation from Anne Billson Illustrating "Gobsmacked"
Fred MacMurray in [the movie] Double Indemnity (1944) is so gobsmacked by Barbara Stanwyck and her slinky ankle chain that he will do anything, even kill, for her.
From: Screen Lovers, [by] Anne Billson; foreword by Stewart Granger; photographs from the Kobal Collection (New York: St. Martin's Press, c1988): p. 138. Originally published: London: Conran Octopus, 1988.

go cougaring:

To hunt for and to date a much younger man, said of a mature woman.

See also chippy, cougar, cruise, rob the cradle, troll.

God is love:

See love.

God's gift to gay men:

See God's gift to men.

God's gift to gay women:

See God's gift to women.

God's gift to men:

1. An exceptionally attractive woman, especially one whose natural charms make her so; a woman who excites the natural desires of many men.

2. A woman who is especially skilled at the arts of love and who practices them on many men; a woman with whom many a man is able to find profound sexual satisfaction.

3. In sarcasm, an ego-centered woman who over-rates her attraction to men or her proficiency as a lover.

Comments: Despite the association of God with what some religious traditions regard as sexual immorality, rarely is offense taken at the phrase, perhaps because it attributes nature to God, including its beauties, perhaps because the phrase is so often used in sarcasm, thus negating any theological implications, as in, "She thinks she is God's gift to men."

A similar term is "God's gift to gay men," however in this case the "gift" being a man for men.

See also cherub, collector, general lover, God's gift to women, heartthrob, lover, lovertine, sex goddess.

x God's gift to gay men.

God's gift to women:

1. An exceptionally attractive man, especially one whose natural charms make him so; a man who excites the natural desires of many women.

2. A man who is especially skilled at the arts of love and who practices them on many women; a man with whom many a woman is able to find profound sexual satisfaction.

3. In sarcasm, an ego-centered man who over-rates his attraction to women or his proficiency as a lover.

Comment: A similar term is "God's gift to gay women" or "... to lesbians," however in this case the "gift" being a woman for women.

See also agapet, Casanova, collector, crumpet man, Don Juan, general lover, God's gift to men, hearthrob, jock, ladies' man, lady-killer, Lothario, lover, lovertine, masher, multimitus, philanderer, pick up artist, rake, roué, rover, salvator femininus, satyr, sex god, smellsmock, stud, Valentino, womanizer.

x God's gift to gay women.

go Dutch:

To have have each person pay his or her own way during a social event, such as a date.

Comment: The term perpetuates an ethnic stereotype and so is considered by some to be offensive. As for the practice of going Dutch, the etiquette of a given situation can be tricky.

See also date.

Related term beyond the scope of this Glossary: pony up.

x Dutch.

Quotation from Maureen Dowd Illustrating "Going Dutch"
Now dating etiquette has reverted. Young women no longer care about using the check to assert their equality. they care about using it to assess their sexuality. Going Dutch is an archaic feminist relic that young women can't believe ever happened. They talk about it with disbelief and disdain.
From: Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide, [by] Maureen Dowd (New York: G. P. Putnam's Sons, c2005): p. 35.

go gaga over:

1. To become crazy about; to become silly regarding.

2. To become excited about or totally absorbed in.

3. To become infatuated with.

Comment: "Gaga" is from the French for "senile." Although it sounds like baby-talk, in origin it may instead be imitative of a stammer.

See also amour fou, besotted, crazy about, engouement, folie à deux, head over heels in love, infatuated, love-cracked, madly in love, sprung, wildly in love with.

x French terms.

x gaga.

going for a walk in the woods:

See hiking the Appalachain Trail.

going together:

Emotionally involved and dating frequently.

See also go out, go steady, living together, serious, sleep together, together.

x go together.

gold digger, or gold-digger:

1. A person who seeks to be materially enriched by close association with a wealthier person; a person who wheedles expensive gifts and pleasures from someone.

2. A person who marries for money or, more specifically, for material enrichment.

See also court an estate, get (one's) hooks into, cross-class romance, gigolo, hetaera, high maintenance, hypergamy, kept man, kept woman, mail-order bride, marry for money, marry into dough, marry up, marry well, mating gradient, matrimonial adventurer, order of Saint Beelzebub, prostitute, slob love, sugar baby, sugar daddy, trade up, widowhunter, widow-snatcher.

golden age of sex:

See sexual golden age.

golden arrow of Cupid:

See Cupid's golden arrow.

golden jubilee:

A fiftieth wedding anniversary.

See also anniversary, jubilee.

golf widow:

Spouse of a person who devotes large amounts of time to the sport of golf, such that time together is significantly cut into because of that apportionment of time.

Comment: Sometimes "golf widow" is used for a female and "golf widower" for a male.

See also blog widow, business widow, cyber widow, facebook widow, fishing widow, hunting widow, library widow, media widow, sports widow, spouse, tennis widow, widow.

go looking:

To seek a sex partner, especially to supplement or to replace a partner one already has.

Comment: For lexical example ("went looking"), see under "home-fire."

See also married but looking.

gone and done it:

Have gotten married.

See also been and done it, cash and carried, cut and carried, dot and carried, hitched, married, yoked.

go near (someone):

1. To move into proximity to (a person); to approach (a person) so that only a short distance is remaining.

2. To move into a space where one can physically interact with or, at least, communicate easily and directly with (a person), especially in such a way as to initiate or to continue a romantic involvement, as in, "Don't you ever go near my daughter again!"

3. To initiate sexual contact with (a person), as in, "My wife will not allow me to go near her."

Comment: From the perspective of the person being approached or contacted, the term is "come near," as in, "Don't ever come near me again!"

Generally the verb is negated, as in the examples above. However, the related phrase, "be near," is usually expressed positively, as in, "I want to be near you."

See also close, make love to, propinquity, proximity, together.

x be near.

x come near.

x near.

gone on, that is, to be gone on:

In love with; infatuated with.

See besotted, bitten by the love bug, captivated, enamored, goner, head over heels in love, infatuated, in love, in lust, love-cracked, love-struck, smitten, sprung.

x be gone on.

Quotation from D. H. Lawrence Illustrating "Gone On"
"It is awfully funny," he [the character Siegmund] said. "I was so gone on Beatrice when I married her."
From: The Trespasser, by D. H. Lawrence (London: Duckworth, 1912): chapter 15, third paragraph. Italics his. <This edition not yet examined>

goner:

1. A helpless person in imminent peril; a person who is doomed.

2. A person who has already fallen head-over-heels in love and therefore who has left behind the stage of decision-making unalloyed by the emotions of love.

See also besotted, catch, gone on, in love, love-cracked, love-struck, smitten.

gonsil:

See gunsel.

good-enough marriage:

A marriage (q.v.) that falls short of of what might be ideal for oneself but that one can live with.

See also happy marriage, successful marriage.

good fish in the sea:

See "There are other fish in the sea."

good for the goose:

See "What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."

"A good husband makes a good wife":

See Jack and Jill.

good in bed:

1. Capable of bringing out intense erotic feelings, especially intense orgasms, in a lover; meeting or exceeding the expectations of what is wanted in a lover during intimate activities in a way that is a huge turn on. Often part of this is particular to the match up of the individuals involved.

2. Passionate, capable of high arousal, and highly orgasmic during sexual activity.

3. Uninhibited, delighted and delightful, communicative, active, varied and open to a panoply of practices, skilled, gentle or rough according to the wishes of one's lover, and attentive to both mental stimulation and the physical needs and desires of one's lover, while at the same time avoiding to a reasonable degree both unwanted pain and turn-offs -- all with regard to sexual activity; desiring to please one's partner sexually and doing what it takes to do so, while enjoying both the partner's pleasure and being pleasured oneself.

4. Characterized by liking sex and by being internally motivated to perform well sexually.

Comment: Variations are endless, for instance, "good in the sack."

See also make love to.

x bed.

Quotation from Albert Ellis Illustrating "Good in Bed"
It is often erroneously thought that someone who is, as the vernacular saying goes, "good in bed" is one who thoroughly enjoys sex relations himself or herself and who consequently is adept at satisfying the sex partner. This is only partly true; and sometimes it is wholly false. Individuals who thoroughly enjoy themselves in bed are often so intent on their own pleasures that they are hardly cconsiderate of their mates and are therefore rather poor bed partners. What is perhaps more important than self-enjoyment, in some respects, is a deep-seated feeling of empathy with the other individual and an intense desire to discover what pleases the other and to perform | such pleasing acts. The deeply empathic individual not only passively notes what his or her bed mate requires but actively looks for, seeks out this mate's requirements, and then caters to them. Sex skill, in other words, is part and parcel of a highly creative, active, experimental, love-motivated outlook. It is prophylactic considerateness: an absorbed attempt to discover not merely what is but what might be satisfying to the partner. Sex skill is not masochisitc or self-sacrificial, in the sense that the good lover totally neglects his or her own desires in order to fulfill the other's needs; but is self-participating as well as other-directed, in the sense that the lover enjoys the pleasurable reactions of his or her mate and wants to discover new and better means of arousing and fulfilling this mate ...
From: The Art and Science of Love, by Albert Ellis (New York: Lyle Stuart, 1960): chapter 4, pp. 66-67. Italics his.

"A good Jack makes a good Jill":

See Jack and Jill.

good match:

1. A prospective or actual bringing together of two people that is perceived as especially fitting, because, to list some of the possible reasons:

• they enhance each other's social status, for instance, one by bringing charm and wealth, another by bringing class and fame, yet each being able to fit easily into the other's social world; or,
• they help cement an alliance with minimal friction; or,
• they appear to be especially compatible, being similar in key ways and complementing each other in key ways; or,
• they appear to be deeply in love and profoundly bonded such that their love will be strong enough to carry them through the difficulties both of life and of being in longterm intimate relationship with each other; or,
• they appear to be soulmates (q.v.).

2. A marriage or committed love relationship that is working well, for instance, in terms of:

• the quality and durability of love;
• longevity;
• contentment;
• mutual enjoyment;
• mutual support;
• the relative absence of conflict;
• the relative absence of emotional pain generated by the relationship;
• spiritual harmony;
• offspring to be proud of; or,
• the contribution to a community or society insofar as that contribution has been enabled or enhanced by the match.

3. Addition of another member to an already established marriage or love relationship, one who fits in fairly harmoniously -- thinking, for instance, of personality mix, habits, flexibility, values, and sexuality -- who makes a valuable contribution, and who may even interact with the group in such a way as to produce synergism; or a prospective addition of that sort.

4. A prospective or actual bringing together of two or more relationships in such a way that the members of each feel attractions in the way hoped for or more fulfilled or better able to cope with the world or enabled to make a more significant contribution to the world.

Contrast poor match (q.v.). See also arranged marriage, beau mariage, cavel, compatibility, habit of each other, love-match, lovemap, made for each other, marital aptitude, matching hearts, match made in heaven, matchmaking, Miss Right, Mister Right, Ms. Right, proof marriage, proper match; cluster marriage, comarital, corporate marriage, four-cornered marriage, group marriage, intermarital sex, line marriage, ménage, multilateral sexuality, partner sharing, sexual connection, synergamy, type.

good ones:

See "All the good ones are taken."

good-time charlotte:

A woman who seeks out one or more men in the military for sexual encounters or to provide companionship.

Comment: The term is associated especially with World War II.

See also GI groupie, khaki-wacky, V-girl, victory girl.

x charlotte.

goodwife; plural, goodwives:

1. The female head of a household or establishment, generally assumed to be married or to have been married whether the speaker knows or not.

2. A courteous but generally archaic form of address for a woman of other than high station, roughly equivalent to "Mrs."

See also consort, lady in the parlor, mistress, title, wife.

gookon:

See goukon.

goose:

See "What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."

"goose and gander" theory:

1. Rejection of a double standard for males and females, especially of male chauvinism, within a relationship.

2. A female's thought that she deserves to get even with or to seek a parity of experience with a male partner, especially with regard to sexual activity outside of the relationship.

Comment: This is an allusion to the equitable proverb, "What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander"; alternative form: "What's good for the goose is good for the gander."

Sometimes the proverb is reversed, "What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose," in which case the second sense above would be reversed: A male's thought that he deserves to get even with or to seek a parity of experience with a female partner.

A theory that sometimes stands in contrast to this one is that parity is better achieved not by descending to the same level, so to speak, but by lifting the other up.

See also double standard, male chauvinism, moral equivalence, sexism, sexual chauvinism, sexual politics, union of equals, "What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander."

x gander.

x theories.

Quotation from Ruth Dickson Illustrating "'Goose and Gander' Theory"
Some women, of course, commit adultery on the "goose and gander" theory. Their husbands play, so they figure they will too, just out of spite.
From: Married Men Make the Best Lovers, by Ruth Dickson (Los Angeles, Calif: Sherbourne Press, c1967): p. 140.

go out:

1. To go on a date (q.v.).

2. To go on more than one date with the same person.

See also ask out, date, going together.

gospel and Law:

See Law and gospel.

go steady:

To participate in a dyadic dating arrangement, whereby two people, by agreement, date each other exclusively until further notice. Going steady sometimes works out as a preliminary step to engagement (q.v.).

See also hook up, pin, serious, steady.

x steady dating.

go take a cold shower:

See take a cold shower.

go together:

See going together.

go to Gretna Green:

To elope to a certain Scottish village on the English border, Gretna Green, in order to marry.

See also Boston marriage, elope, Flagg marriage, Fleet marriage, go to Scotland, gretna green wedding, married at Finglesham Church, Scotch marriage.

Quotation from Jane Austen Illustrating "Going to Gretna Green"
[Letter from Lydia Bennet to Harriet Forster]: I am going to Gretna Green, and if you cannot guess with who [sic], I shall think you a simpleton, for there is but one man in the world I love, and he is an angel. I should never be happy without him, so think it no harm to be off. You need not send them word at Longbourn of my going, if you do not like it, for it will make the surprise the greater, when I write to them, and sign my name Lydia Wickham.
From the novel: Pride and Prejudice, [by] Jane Austen (New York: Barnes & Noble Books, c2003): chapter 47, pp. 361-362. Originally published: Pride and Prejudice: A Novel ..., by the author of "Sense and Sensibility" (London: T. Egerton, 1813).

go to his towrus:

To desire copulation, said of a roebuck or, metaphorically, of a man.

Comment: Might "towrus" be a variant of "Taurus," the bull, hence an association with horns, like the later "horny"?

See also bream, clicket, desire, eassin, horny, kate, lust, randy, sexual desire.

x towrus.

Quotation from Nathan Bailey Illustrating "Go to His Towrus"
TOWRUS [among Hunters] a Roebuck eager for copulation, is said to go to his Towrus.
From: An Universal Etymological English Dictionary  ..., by N Bailey (11th ed. London : Printed for R. Ware, A. Ward, J. and P. Knapton, T. Longman, and T. Shewell ... [and 6 others], 1745). Square brackets and italics his.

go to Scotland:

To elope in order to marry.

Comment: A common destination for an elopement used to be Gretna Green, Scotland.

See also Boston marriage, elope, Flagg marriage, Fleet marriage, go to Gretna Green, gretna green wedding, married at Finglesham Church, Scotch marriage.

x Scotland.

Quotations from Jane Austen Illustrating "Gone to Scotland"
[Letter from Jane Bennet to her sister Elizabeth about their sister]: '... What I have to say relates to poor Lydia. An express came at twelve last night, just as we were all gone to bed, from Colonel Forster, to inform us that she was gone off to Scotland with one of his officers; to own the truth, with Wickham! -- Imagine our surprise. To Kitty, however, it does not seem so wholly unexpected. I am very, very sorry. So imprudent a match on both sides! ...'
[Another letter from Jane]: '... Imprudent as a marriage between Mr Wickham and our poor Lydia would be, we are now anxious to be assured it has taken palce, for there is but too much reason to fear they are not gone to Scotland... Though Lydia's short letter to Mrs F. gave them to understand that they were going to Gretna Green, something was dropped by Denny expressing his belief that W. never intended to go there, or to marry Lydia at all ...'
From the novel: Pride and Prejudice, [by] Jane Austen (New York: Barnes & Noble Books, c2003): chapter 46, pp. 339-340, 340-341; re Gretna Green, cf. chapter 47, p. 361. Originally published: Pride and Prejudice: A Novel ..., by the author of "Sense and Sensibility" (London: T. Egerton, 1813).

goudou konpa:

See goukon.

goukon (Japanese):

A dating party, whereby a group of women is introduced to and participates in social activities with a group of men in the hope that one or more love relationships will form.

Comment: From the Japanese word goudou ("joint") + konpa (possibly from the English word "company"). Sometimes spelled instead either gōkon or gookon.

Also called a goudou konpa and a joint konpa. One variant spelling of konpa is compa.

See also blind date, crewdate, date, formal swap, group dating, singles party, team social, yarikon.

x compa.

x gōkon

x gookon.

x goudou konpa.

x Japanese terms.

x joint konpa.

x konpa.

x party.

government out of the bedroom:

See get government out of the bedroom.

gradient:

See mating gradient.

grande passion:

See grand passion.

grand gesture:

An extravagant demonstration or spectacular effort made, usually on the part of an individual, in order to advance or to save a relationship, for example, in order to declare one's love or to propose marriage or to win back a lover.

Pronunciation note: A hard "g" in "grand" and a soft "g" in "gesture."

Comments: The grand gesture need not be romantic. For example, it might be employed to win the good will of a boss or to be reconciled to a family member or friend.

The grand gesture is a staple of romantic comedies.

See also declaration, offer of marriage, proposal, public proposal, romantic comedy.

grand passion:

1. A great enthusiasm.

2. Love or the object thereof.

3. A love affair.

Comment: From the French, grande passion, which is often used in English instead of the translated form.

See also love, love affair, passion.

x French terms.

x grande passion.

grass-widow:

1. An unwed mother.

2. A discarded mistress.

3. A married woman who is temporarily apart from her husband.

Comment: The origin of the term is obscure. It may refer to a bed of grass, implying either illicit sex on a temporary basis or going to bed with nothing but straw. It probably does not refer to a period when an extra measure of grace (--> "grass") is needed, although an extra measure of grace may in fact be needed for such periods.

See also break, break from each other, demi-relict, fribusculum, grass-widower, grass-widowhood, grass-widow-to-be, hall pass, holiday from marriage, love in the rough, marriage sabbatical, separate vacations, separation, unwed mother, unwed parent, vacation from marriage, war bride, war-torn lovers, widow, widow-bewitched.

grass-widower:

A married man who is temporarily apart from his wife.

Comment: In "gender fair" usage, presumably this term might be used to mean (a) an unwed father and (b) a discarded male lover, such usage being on analogy with the first two senses of "grass-widow."

See also break, break from each other, dfribusculum, grass-widow, hall pass, holiday from marriage, marriage sabbatical, separate vacations, separation, vacation from marriage, widower.

grass-widowhood:

The state of being a grass-widow (q.v.).

grass-widow-to-be:

Someone who is soon to become a grass-widow (q.v.).

graydar, or greydar:

1. An uncanny sense on the part of someone named Gray or something described as gray, such as a greyhound.

2. Observation of or ability to detect gray things, such as certain clothing fashions, or of things named or called gray, such as gray matter or gray wolves.

3. Ability to detect gray hair that has been dyed, especially such hair of a person who is a date or potential date.

4. Ability to detect an eligible or sexually available person who is of an age associated with gray, silver, and white hair; an aptitude for noticing those who are both hoary and horny, or both eligible and venerable.

Source for the last sense: Susan Sullivan as Martha, Rick Castle's mother, in the American TV crime drama, "Castle," Season 1, Episode 1, "Flowers for Your Grave," directed by Rob Bowman, written by Andrew W. Marlowe (first aired, March 9, 2009).

See also -dar, limbic resonance, sexual attraction radar.

x greydar.

"Greater love hath no man ...":

An allusion to the Bible at John 15:13, where the Gospel represents Jesus as saying, "Greater love [agapên] hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (KJV).

Comments: The original Greek is not so gender specific, and thus might be more literally translated this way: "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his (or her) life for his (or her) buddies" (my translation). The Scholars Version provides this more dynamic rendering, yet one still faithful to the overall meaning of the sentence: "No one can love to a greater extent than to give up life for friends."

This is one of the passages that both (a) gives an insight into what agapê meant to First Century Christians and (b) challenges some later notions of agapê. Just as Ephesians 5:21-33 urges husbands to love (agapaô) their wives, thus belying the common notion that agapic love is sharply divided from sexuality, so John 15:13 challenges the notion that agapic love is altruism. Jesus does not say, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for a complete stranger." That, without some sort of redounding benefit, would be altruism; and agapic love here is not the same as altruism. Agapic love here is about community and about relationship bonds and about acting responsibly and compassionately towards each other for the maximum benefit of all within the community of love -- all, oneself not excluded. The redounding benefit is a corporate and thereby individual benefit. Sometimes agapic love may call for sacrifice, but it is not itself sacrifice, and it is even less self-effacement. Thus the divide between agapic love in this sense and altruism is sharper than some of the traditional divides involving agapic love.

This does not mean that agapic love does not apply to the stranger. Quite the contrary, it does, yet still in relation to comunity -- as a rule of hospitality and inclusion and community-building. Consider some of the intertextual background, starting with the Septuagint (abbreviated LXX), which is the ancient Greek version of the Bible, at Leviticus 19:34. I here translate: "As the native among you shall be the stranger who comes to you, and you shall love that one as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt." The word used for "you shall love" is agapêseis (lexical form agapaô); and all the "you's" are plural, indicating the corporateness of the injunction; but the "yourself" is singular, indicating that the measure is not how well one does at loving neighbors, but rather self-love. Judging from the Synoptic Gospels (at Matthew 22:36-40 = Mark 12:28-31), Jesus considered the following to be a greater commandment: "you [plural] shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18; in the LXX, the word for "you shall love" there is agapêseis). That may play into the "greater love" of John 15:13. However, in the parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus demonstrated the cross-over of "Samaritan" and "neighbor," and thus also of "stranger" and "neighbor" (Luke 10:25-37).

Never would a person want a limb amputated without a compelling reason, but sometimes it must be done in order to save the rest of the body. One person gives up his or her life for the sake of the close-knit community of friends, buddies, comrads -- not as a matter of self-effacement, but as a matter of utmost necessity: that is the sort of laying down of life of which Jesus was speaking. And it meets the measure of self-love, for it behaves as self-love would behave when forced to the extreme.

Reference
For the Scholars Version, see: The Five Gospels: The Search for the Authentic Words of Jesus, new translation and commentary by Robert W. Funk, Roy W. Hoover, and the Jesus Seminar (New York: Macmillan Publishing Co., c1993; "A Polebridge Press Book"): p. 453.

See also agapic love, altar of love, love, self-love, theological virtues.

x Bible.

greatest game:

1. The supreme contest, whether an instance of a type of contest or according to type. Among many examples of types of contests that have been labeled "the greatest game" are chess, baseball, and trading on the stock market.

2. The "game of love" (q.v.), sexual pursuit and dalliance being spoken of in the imagery of sport.

See also joc d'amor, love.

A Postcard Illustrating "Greatest Game"

<Picture of postcard not yet posted..>

"Post card," showing a standing couple kissing, he in a cap and short-sleeve shirt, with collar upturned, she in a short-sleeve blouse; with caption: "The greatest game in the world" ([S.l.: USP, ca. 1911]). Postmarked "Sep 20." The year is taken from a companion postcard with the same back, the same sender, and the same addressee. (See under "consent.") From the author's collection, scanned <on such and such a date>.

great-family or Grossfamilie (Ernst Grosse, 1896):

Living parents plus living descendants, insofar as those descendants are not separated from the family.

Contrast individual family (q.v.). See also extended family, family.

x Grossfamilie.

Great Whore:

See Whore of Babylon.

Greek culture:

See culture.

Greek terms:

See abomination (bdelugna and others); agapê; agapêtê; agapêtos; agapic love (agapê); "All women are the same in the dark" (Pasa gunê tou luchnou arthentos hê autê esti); androgyne archetype; Aphrodite's girdle (himas, kestos); apistia; arsenokoitês; catamite (for Greek synonyms); cinaedus (kinaidos); cleave (kollaô, proskollaô); cyber- (kubernêtês); divorce (see charts); erotic love (erôs); -gamy (gamos); girdle of Venus (kestos); "hate his wife" (misei ... tên gynaika); "head of the wife" (kephalê de gynaikos); hearth and home (hestia); hetaera (hetaira); homo-; "husband of one wife" (mias gunaikos anêr); jealousy (zêlos); klepsigamy (klepsigamia); Lasterkatalog (see chart); lord (kurios); love, as in "love for another" (agapê, erôs, philia, storgê; plus chart); love, as in "God is love" (ho theos agapê estin); love, as in "to love" (see chart); love commandments (agapaô); lust (epithumeô); malakos; "Marriage is honourable in all" (Timios ho gamos en pasin); matrogamy (mêtrogamia); monandros; "neither male nor female" (ouk eni arsen kai thêlu); "neither marry, nor are given in marriage" (oute gamousin oute gamizontai); one flesh (sarka mian); order of Saint Beelzebub (Beelzeboul); parea; passion (paschô, pathos); -philia; -phobia; polyandry (see chart); polygyny (see chart); porneia; pornos; purity (hagneia); "reverence her husband" (phobeomai); rival (antizêlos); sacramental marriage (mustêrion); Sappho's signs (ta tês Sapphous); satyr; "saved in childbearing" (sôthêsetai de dia tês teknogonias); self-love (agapaô); Seven Capital Sins (porneia); siren; spousonomics (oikonomia); storgic love (storgê); syndyasmian (sunduasmos); syneisaktos; syzygos; temple of love (hiron Aphroditês); theological virtues (pistis, elpis, agapê); thygatrogamy (thugatrogamos); "thy neighbour's wife" (plêsion); trophy wife (akaskaion <d'> agalma ploutou); "unequally yoked" (heterozugeô); unnatural (para physin); "Unto the pure all things are pure" (Panta kathara tois katharois); Virgin Mary (parthenos, Maria, Theotokos), walk on air (aerobateô), Xanthippê.

green-card marriage, or green card marriage:

A marital union in which one of the partners is not a citizen of the United States of America but has achieved permanent resident status in the U.S. by having as a spouse a U.S. citizen.

Comments: "Green card" is the popular name for the permanent resident card, which functions as a life-long visa.

A closely related stock phrase is "green card by marriage."

See also arrangement, immigration marriage fraud, international marriage, marriage.

Quotation from Armistead Maupin Illustrating "Green-Card Marriage"
Mona's green-card marriage to Teddy Roughton was apparently the best thing she'd ever done for herself. By swapping countries with a disgruntled nobleman, she'd found a perfect setting for her particular brand of eccentricity.
From the novel: Significant Others, [by] Armistead Maupin (New York: Harper & Row, 1987; "Perennial Library"; Tales of the City Series; v. 5)): p. 62. For the marriage, see the preceding volume in the series. Mona settled in England while her husband was in the United States, ostensibly to study.

green-eyed:

1. Mistrustful, even to the point of making oneself appear sickly.

2. Jealous.

See also green-eyed monster, jealous.

x Shakespeare, William.

Quotation from William Shakespeare Illustrating "Green-Eyed"
PORTIA (aside) How all the other passions fleet to air, As doubtful thoughts, and rash-embraced despair, And shudd'ring fear, and green-eyed jealousy.
From: William Shakespeare, Merchant of Venice (1596-1597): Act 3, scene 2, lines 108-110.

green-eyed monster:

Jealousy.

See also green-eyed, green poison, jealousy.

x Shakespeare, William.

Quotation from William Shakespeare Illustrating "Green-Eyed Monster"
IAGO O, beware, my lord, of jealousy. It is the green-eyed monster, which doth mock The meat it feeds on.
From: William Shakespeare, Othello (1603-1604): Act 3, scene 3, lines 169-171.

green flash:

See rayon vert.

green gown:

A woman's grass-stained clothing indicative of recent sexual play in the meadow or field, or on the lawn.

Comment: "Green" here may have something to do with with the slang word "greens," meaning "sexual sport" or "sexual favors." Perhaps a pun is involved.

See also give a green gown.

green household:

A household (q.v.) that:

• is ecologically aware and takes human responsibility for ecological stewardship seriously;
• lives in harmony with nature or keeps taking measures in that direction;
  
• keeps the household's carbon footprint low;
• maintains a healthy environment in which plants and animals, each in their natural diversity, can live together with human beings in a sustainable balance;
• maintains an environment that is uncluttered by materials of human construction, especially those materials that are not readily biodegradable and not supervised; and,
• supports collective measures to do all the same on larger scales.

Comment: Sometimes used in absolute terms but probably more often used in relative terms, as in, "We are to some degree a green household."

See also ecosexuality, feng shui love, geosexual ethics, vegansexuality.

green poison:

Jealousy.

See also green-eyed monster, jealousy.

Quotation from Armistead Maupin Illustrating "Green Poison"
He [Brian Hawkins] had been there almost a minute when he heard Simon's door open and close. He ducked back inside and sat there massaging his temples as the crippling green poison flooded his brain. Someone [his wife, Mary Ann Singleton] was climbing the stairs.
From the novel: Babycakes, [by] Armistead Maupin (New York: Harper & Row, 1984; "Perennial Library"; Tales of the City Series; v. 4)): p. 280.

green ray:

See rayon vert.

grenade:

The least attractive person in a group of friends, whom the others will not leave for potential sex partners unless they are ensured that he or (more typically, given group dynamics) she too will have a potential sex partner.

See also cock block, grenade jumper, jump the grenade, slump buster.

grenade jumper:

A person who, for the sake of his or her companions, "sacrifices" him or herself by hooking up with the grenade (q.v.).

See also dating buddy, jump the grenade, wingman, wingperson, wingwoman.

gretna green wedding:

An elopement, in order to marry, to another jurisdiction where neither party has established residency.

Comments: Gretna Green is a Scottish village on the English border, where eloping couples, especially English couples, frequently used to go to wed, becaause of the laxity of the laws about marriage.

Gretna Green was sometimes called the Caledonian Temple of Hymen.

See also Boston marriage, elopement, Flagg marriage, Fleet marriage, go to Gretna Green, go to Scotland, Las Vegas marriage, married at Finglesham Church, Scotch marriage.

x Caledonian Temple of Hymen.

greydar:

See graydar.

grex:

A group of interdependent individuals whose functioning is enhanced by their association.

Comments: This term probably derives from grex, the Latin word for a group of people belonging together.

Beware! This little utilized word has other meanings as well: (a) to grumble; (b) a unit of measurement for fibers, filaments, and yarns.

x Latin terms.

grief:

A set of emotions that arise in response to a loss, that evolve over time, and that together are characterized as a form of suffering. Usually the loss is of a person to whom one is bonded or of a pet, and the loss may be due to death, permanent separation, or irrevocable transition. Sometimes the loss is a public one (in addition to a private one for family members and personal friends), as in the case of the space shuttle disasters.

See also aeipathy, break (someone's) heart, broken heart, cri de coeur, déception d'amour, ex-husband syndrome, ex-wife syndrome, get over, grieve, heal, heartache, let go, lovelorn, love trauma syndrome, love withdrawal, miss, "Parting is such sweet sorrow," post break-up funk, postmarital blues, relationship obit, seneucia, sexual healing, "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all," viduage, unreconstructed widower, widowed, withdrawal anguish.

grieve:

To experience difficult emotions in response to a loss, especially of a person or pet with whom one had bonds.

See also get over, grief, pine away.

groom:

A man as he presents himself to a woman for the beginning of conjugal life with her.

See also boy-bridegroom, bride, bridegroom, catch, child-husband, fiancé, give away in marriage, husband, newlywed, novio, partner, runaway groom, war groom.

Grossfamilie:

See great-family.

grounds for divorce:

1. The reason given for releasing a spouse.

2. The set of allowable reasons for divorce under civil law.

3. The set of allowable reasons for divorce under religious law or teaching.

See also cagamosis, deal breaker, desertion, divorce, divorce by consent, dysfunctional relationship, ecclesiastical divorce, family values, incompatibility, no fault divorce, "one flesh," porneia, privilegium Paulinum, traditional morality.

group complexity theory:

Development of the implications of these two facts:

• that relationships have a wide array of variables both diachronically (over the course of time) and synchronically (at a moment in time); and,
• that the more people there are in a group, for instance in a group marriage, the more one-to-one relationships there can be (see chart).

Number of Persons Correlated to Number of One-to-One Relationships in a Fully Interactive Small Group
Persons	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11	12	13	14	15	16
Relationships	1	3	6	10	15	21	28	36	45	55	66	78	91	105	120
Note: To calculate the next number in the bottom series, add the last column together. So, to arrive at the number of one-to-one relationships that can obtain between 17 members of a group, add 16 and 120 = 136; then for 18 members, add 17 and 136 = 153; and so on and so on. Alternatively apply the formula worked out by James H. S. Bossard. See under "Bossard's law of family interaction."

See also alternate relationship geometries, "Communicate, communicate, communicate," diagramming a love relationship, family life, genogram, group love relationships, group marriage, household architectonics, letter group, poly mantra.

Beyond the scope of this Glossary: Dunbar's number.

x complexity theory of groups

x theories.

group dating:

1. The practice of engaging in a social activity with several people, one or more of whom are of a complementary sexual orientation -- typically a female and some of her friends meeting with a male and some of his friends.

2. The practice of several swingers engaging in a social activity together, generally with the possibility that any or all will become sexually involved together.

See also crewdate. crew dating, date, formal swap, goukon, swing, team social, yarikon.

groupie:

1. A fanatical or devotedly enthusiastic follower of a rock band or of a team or of a celebrity, especially such a follower who seeks attention from the object or objects of devotion, for instance by offering sexual favors.

2. One of those people who flock around and seek attention, commonly sexual attention, from people who belong to a certain profession or vocation.

Comment: The groupie phenomenon has been so dominated by females, that some define a groupie as a female.

The term is sometimes qualified, for example:

• Camp groupies are those who station themselves near training camps.
• Grandma groupies are those female groupies who are past their thirties.
• Local groupies are those who show up when a band or team or celevrity is in their area.
  
• National groupies are those who will follow a band or team or celebrity all over a country.
  
• Organization groupies are those who work in the offices of the organization with which the celebrity is associated.
• Wives groupies are those who attempt to gain access to a celebrity through the celebrity's wife.
  

See also band moll, cop groupie, GI groupie, heartthrob, lot lizard, marry-me, offscreen squeeze, pit lizard, revolution groupie, volley dolly.

group love relationship:

A love relationship (q.v.) involving three or more partners, especially one in which the partners have some degree of commitment to each other.

Comments: The term does not define sexual geometry (q.v.); however, it typically connotes that all females in the relationship have sexual access to all males in the relationship and vice versa.

This term might be used when marriage is rejected ideologically or when the commitment is not recognized by the partners as rising to the level of a marital commitment or when a society does not recognize the legitimacy of group marriage (q.v.).

See also alternate relationship geometries, bevy of beloveds, cadre of beloveds, cenogamy, covey of lovers, familistere, free-sex colony, group complexity theory, group partner, group switching, heart-swapping, InSix, letter group, love more than one person at a time, n-tuple, polyamory, polyfidelity, polygynandry, serial cenogamy, tribal marriage.

group marriage:

A marriage (q.v.) in which there are three or more partners.

Comment: The term does not define sexual geometry (q.v.); however, it typically connotes that all males in the marriage have sexual access to all females in the marriage and vice versa.

See also alternate relationship geometries, Californian marriage, cenogamous, cenogamy, closed group marriage, cluster marriage, co-husband, communal marriage, complex marriage, corporate marriage, co-spouse, co-wife, familistere, four-cornered marriage, free love, free-sex colony, good match, group complexity theory, group love relationship, group partner, junior husband, junior wife, letter group, line marriage, multiple marriage, nangsaegaek, omnigamy, open group marriage, pluralism of marriage patterns, polyamory, polyfidelity, polygamy, polygynandry, polymarriage, punalua, punaluan family, rotating marriage, second husband, second wife, senior husband, senior wife, serial cenogamy, S-group, spice, synergamy, tribal marriage, utopian swinging.

group partner:

A member of a group marriage (q.v.) or group love relationship (q.v.).

See also partner.

group room:

1. A wall-enclosed space used for activities involving several people or more.

2. A wall-enclosed space used for group sex.

See also group sex, matroom, party house.

x room.

group sex:

1. Three or more people participating in sexual activity together.

2. A category of erotica featuring the preceding.

Contrast gang rape (q.v.). See also adult buffet, alternative dating, bacchanalia, bigynist, bi-trio, bivirist, bunga bunga, chicken party, circle jerk, cluster f***, collectivism, cuddle circle, daisy chain, dogging, double penetration, doused lights, fastlane swinger, foursome, gang bang, hooky party, house party, invite others into (their) sex life, Jack and Jill party, martymachlia, ménage à trois, moresome, oot, open swinging, orgy, pair dating, partouse, pull a train, rainbow party, Roman culture, sacanagem, same room sex, sandwich, sex club, sex party, spintries, team f*ck, threesome, three-way sex, triple penetration, trisexual, troilism.

Some related terms beyond the scope of this glossary: American trombone, bearing, bukkake, chocolate sandwich, circle jerk, daisy chain link, D.V.D.A., fish fry, group grope, group masturbation, group room, king of hearts, king of the mountain, matroom, Mexican cartwheel (of the hot, extra hot, and super hot versions, the last of those), Mongolian cluster, oreo, pan-handle pipes, pretzel, puppy pile, queen of hearts, queen of the May, sewing circle, side-by-side sex, snowflake, spit roast, tag team, xylophone.

group switching:

1. Moving from one group to another, in the process leaving behind one or more sex partners from the previous group and taking up with one or more sex partners from the new group. The switch may be permanent or temporary, even fleeting; and, if temporary, it may be followed by a switch back to the previous group or a migration to yet another group.

2. Leaving one harem (q.v.) and joining another.

3. Leaving the group in which one was raised to join another group in which one can find one or more sex partners.

See also exogamy, family of orientation, family of procreation, group love relationship, outbreeding, serial cenogamy, serial monandry, serial monogyny, uxorilocal residence, virilocal residence.

grow old together:

To live with each other as company and to support each other into a ripe age, even until parted by death.

Comment: This is a common dream of young couples, a common intent in marriage, and a common hope when a partner becomes seriously ill. The phrase embodies one of the ironies of human existence: The fulfillment of domestic love entails watching each other deteriorate physically over time. Of course, the deterioration happens anyway; and love helps mitigate the unpleasantness.

Compare and contrast the phrase, "grow up together," which refers to siblings' being reared in the same household or friends' or classmates' spending much of their childhoods present to each other.

See also future together, have babies together, man (one) wants to spend the rest of (one's) life with, marriage, together, woman (one) wants to spend the rest of (one's) life with.

Sheet Music Illustrating "Grow Old Together"
<Picture of sheet music not yet posted>
Sweetheart Let's Grow Old Together, lyric by J. W. Bratton; music by Leo Edwards; featured by Lanny Ross (New York: Robbins Music Corporation, c1936).

Grundy:

See Mrs. Grundy.

guarding:

See mate guarding.

GUG:

"Gay until graduation": a person who experiments with being gay in high school or college but afterwards adopts a heterosexual identity.

See also BUG, gay, heterosexual, LUG.

gugusse:

A young man who engages in sexual activity with one or more male priests; a male priest's youthful male sex partner (q.v.).

See also active-passive split, catamite, clericolagnia, gay male, gunsel, ingle, man-boy love, parnel, particular relationship, petronalla, smellsmock.

güila (Spanish):

1. A sexually loose woman.

2. A prostitute.

Comments: The term has other meanings as well: (a) rags; (b) a small spinning top; and (c) a small kite.

It is pronounced, WEE-la.

Sources: Spanglish: The Making of a New American Language, by Ilan Stavans (c2003), which identifies the word in sense 1 as Chicano; and, NTC's Dictionary of Latin American Spanish, [by] Rafael A. Olivares (c1997), which gives Costa Rica as one geographical region for sense 2.

See also bimbo, box of assorted creams, demirep, flirt-gill, giglet, hoochie, lothariette, Messalina, multicipara, nymphomaniac, pick up artist, punch board, punchbroad, she-wolf, shiksa, slut, tart, tramp, wanton woman; blowen, chippy, courtesan, doxy, hoe, moll, parnel, prostitute, slut, squaw, tart, tottie, whore.

x Spanish and Spanglish terms.

gunsel:

1. A naïve boy.

2. Boy companion of a male tramp; a male vagabond's youthful male lover.

3. A young gay man.

Comments: From the Yiddish, "genzel."

Alternative spellings: gonsil, gunshel, guntzel, gunzel.

See also active-passive split, blowen, catamite, gay male, gugusse, ingle, man-boy love.

x gonsil.

x gunshel.

x guntzel.

x gunzel.

x Yiddish terms.

gunshel:

See gunsel.

guntzel:

See gunsel.

gunzel:

See gunsel.

guru:

See love guru, relationship guru.

guy code of silence:

See code of silence.

guy crush:

See man crush.

guy next door:

See boy next door.

gylanic:

Pertaining to or characterized by gylany (q.v.).

Comment: Coined by Riane Eisler (1987).

gylany:

The liberation of all of humankind from sex roles and sex-based hierarchies, not just one sex or the other.

Comment: Coined by Riane Eisler (1987).

See also feminism.

Quotation from Riane Eisler Defining "Gylany"
To describe the real alternative to a system based on the ranking of half of humanity over the other, I propose the new term gylany. Gy derives from the Greek root word gyne, or "woman." An derives fom andros, or "man." The letter l between the two has a double meaning. In English, it stands for the linking of both halves of humanity, rather than, as in androcracy, their ranking. In Greek, it derives from the verb lyein or lyo, which in turn has a double meaning: to solve or resolve (as in analysis) and to dissolve or set free (as in catalysis). In this sense, the letter l stands for the resolution of our problems through the freeing of both halves of humanity from the stultifying and distorting rigidity of roles imposed by the domination hierarchies inherent in androcratic systems.
From: The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future, [by] Riane Eisler (HaperCollins paperback ed. New York, NY: HarperSanFrancisco, 1988, c1987): chapter 8, p. 105. Italics hers. Alternative transliteration of some of the Greek words: gunê, luein, luô.

gynecomania:

1. A man's crazed desire for a particular woman or for multiple women.

2. Female-oriented sexual desire of a male far in excess of what is considered normal.

Contrast andromanina (q.v.). See also Casanova complex, Don Juanism, erotomania, girl crazy, lovertine, oversexed, satyriasis, sex crazed, sex maniac, sexual addiction, skirt-chaser, tragolimia, woman-keen, woman-mad.

gynephilia:

See gynophilia.

gyniolatry:

Adoration of either a woman, such as one's wife, or women generally, either in a specific case or as a practice on the part of some.

Contrast androlatry (q.v.). See also adoration-lust, adore, altar of love, dulia, Frauendienst, husband worship, pedestalism, place on a pedestal, sex goddess, uxorodespotism, wife worship.

gynocracy:

1. Rule by a woman or women.

2. The dominion of a woman or women.

3. A marriage in which the wife or wives rule.

Source: The Doctrine of Creation (Church Dogmatics, Volume III, 2), by Karl Barth; translators, Harold Knight [and others] (Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark, 1960): p. 315.

Contrast androcracy (q.v.). See also doll's house marriage, doll's house relationship, fictive widow, pussy-whipped, she who must be obeyed, under petticoat government, uxorodespotism, wear the breeches.

gynophilia, or gynephilia:

"Woman-loving":

1. Having love for women or being in love with a woman.

2. Attraction to sexually mature females.

Comment: If the love or attraction is on the part of a male, then the term is "male gynophilia"; if on the part of a female, then "female gynophilia."

A source for the first spelling: The Complete Dictionary of Sexology (New expanded edition. Robert T. Francoeur, editor-in-chief; Martha Cornog, Timothy Perper, and Norman A, Scherzer, coeditors. New York: Continuum, 1995): p. 263.

See also androgynophilia, androphilia, attraction, girl crazy, gynophilic, heterosexuality, homosexuality, lesbianism, -philia, philogyneity, sexual orientation, woman-hungry, woman-keen, woman-mad.

Related term beyond the scope of this Glossary: autogynephilia.

x female gynophilia.

x gynephilia.

x male gynophilia.

 

gynophilic:

Characterized by or pertaining to gynophilia (q.v.).

Gypsy terms:

See Romany language terms.

gyves:

1. Shackles, especially leg-irons; fetters.

2. The constraints imposed by marriage or a spouse, constraints figuratively conceived of as leg-irons.

Comment: Rarely used nowadays, except archaically.

See also ball and chain, conjugal fetters, maritodespotism, marriage tether, marriage-trap, pussy-whipped, uxorodespotism.

Quotations from W. S. Gilbert Illustrating "Gyves"
SONG. -- FAIRFAX. Free from his fetters grim --      Free to depart; Free both in life and limb --      In all but heart! Bound to an unknown bride      For good and ill; Ah, is not one so tied      A prisoner still? Free, yet in fetters held      Till his last hour, Gyves that no smith can weld,      No rust devour! Although a monarch's hand      Had set him free, Of all the captive band      The saddest he!
From: "The Yeomen of the Guard; or, The Merryman and His Maid: A New and Original Opera, in Two Acts," Act 2, in: Original Plays, by W. S. Gilbert. Third Series ... (London: Chatto & Windus, 1895): p. 291. "First produced at the Savoy Theatre, London ... October 3rd, 1888." <After the title, every other line indented>
RECITATIVE. -- ULTRICE. [Two lines snipped]      His love is mine -- yes, mine alone, until His dying day! .... [Five lines snipped]      Alfredo, till he dies, shall wear my gyves!
From: "The Mountebanks: An Entirely Original Comic Opera, in Two Acts," Act 2, in: Original Plays, by W. S. Gilbert. Third Series ... (London: Chatto & Windus, 1895): pp. 399, 396 [i.e. 397-398]. "Produced at the Lyric Theatre, London ... January 4th, 1892." <Indented: "His love ..." and "Alfredo ...">

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